Monday, August 16, 2021

Going Bananas

 A quick check of the headline news and a few stories in, and I'm already shaking my head. I saw a quote that summed up my feelings on most individuals in the stories I read- "It's like we're dealing with a 2-year old who puts their hands over their eyes when they're playing hide-and-seek. They think because they can't see you, you can't see them." 

The problem is that it's adults in places of power with their hands over their eyes. I sit here wishing they would place their hands directly over their mouths and open those two things on the sides of their heads called EARS. The things we were given by God for the purpose of hearing and listening.  There doesn't seem to be a lot of that going on these days, from the contents of these news stories. 

And while I'm on the topic of using senses, why are so many people willing to stop using theirs when it comes to such important things? Try as I might to be all patient and graceful, there are days I just want to go bananas on people who act like they graduated from some top medical school with a political science degree and have somehow become fluent in all things biomedical, with a top of their field medical- political science -I -know -it- all -and -no one -else- can- tell -me -any- different -law degree, and they are now holding some kind of prestigious office in the government of which I've not ever heard of or will ever become aware. Somehow we are all privy to the outward actions and complaints of many and solutions of none, though all of this "knowledge" is powerful, correct, new, but "hidden", and these actions are "right" and "justified" and everyone must utilize them because they are the "truth". What in the actual weird Al Yankovich are they talking about?? See what I mean, it makes me bananas! Lord, help me put my hands over my eyes, my ears, and everything else! Calgon, take me away!  Something do something! Anything! But is that the answer? What even is the question?

I'm not here just to complain, although releasing my banana nut thoughts here does make me feel a bit better. We all get a little nutty after awhile. The world is a bit of a mixed bag right now, and let's face it, people are wild, fickle and crazy sometimes! I'm here to attempt/offer some solutions/peace, and I'll get there eventually. I heard another analogy awhile back, and I use this one often and for many situations. My kids are probably tired of it, and now it's your turn. 

When you are approaching a red light at an intersection at 2 or 3am, do you stop? I mean, there are likely no vehicles coming, right? It's not like any police officers would see you just driving through without stopping. So why do you stop?  I stop because I'm a law-abiding citizen, for one thing, and for another, I stop because it's the RIGHT thing to do. I stop because I don't want MY careless actions to hurt or kill another person just because I may THINK it doesn't matter. I sense that my contribution to this earth or lack thereof directly affects another person; whether someone else is watching or not, another car is coming, or even if I don't agree that I should have to stop. Our actions matter. We affect other people, whether we like to admit it or not, whether it's convenient or feels good to do or not. Even if it doesn't seem to make sense at the time. Our choices can and do affect other people, like it or not. 

There is always a bigger picture even when we are seeing a very small piece of it. When we are all jammed up in our minds, angry and twisted up about an issue or a situation, we tend to be very tunnel-visioned about it. We can only see OUR side of it, and very little anything anyone else says has any bearing on changing that view. Trying to change a behavior like this is like trying to medicate a dead person. You will get absolutely nowhere. It won't change a thing! (I heard this somewhere, though I can't recall where) Hence, all the arguing, complaining, negativity, and "getting nowhere" we are all experiencing pretty much everywhere. If I don't want to stop at a red light at 2am, why should I? It's not "hurting" anybody! Until it kills someone. And even after it kills a lot of someones, there will still be someone arguing that a red light at 2am is ridiculous. Because there are always a lot of someones who don't think their actions affect anyone but themselves, and that is actually not true. 

 How on earth can we shut it down? Turn off that infernal noise of hearing people complain and the incessant arguing around us, the negativity of the news and the world? I've been accused of wanting to wear "rose-colored glasses" when I choose not to discuss bad news in my home during a holiday or any time, for that matter. This is not so. But I do think we all have the right to decide what kind of mood we want to set in our homes  when conversations start, and if I don't want the people in my home to feel stressed or upset by the latest bad news, I will change the subject respectfully. It certainly doesn't mean I "put my head in the sand", thank you very much for yet another analogy of what I don't do. There is a time and a place. We can all take control of our own lives, and setting an example of living out our peace, even while a war of sorts rages on in the world around us. It doesn't mean we don't care! Rather it means we know the difference between what we can control and what we can't, what we should react to and what we should respond to, and the kinds of toxins we need to keep from rotting out our hearts. 

 I have a couple of methods for dealing with my disappointments with life and people at the moment. I'm not sure how great it's going, but with a chronic medical condition that thrives on stress, I have to do what's best for my mental health and my body. So here are my tips for survival: 1. Avoid social media (no Facebook, no Twitter, not even Instagram, and let me tell you, I don't miss it one bit!) 2. Limit news to a short period per day (most of it is biased, and slanted toward whoever the president of that broadcast company supports politically. We all know this) 3. Lots of prayer for God to show me how to love others better, humble myself more, be more understanding, and be patient and kind. (I'll let you know how that is going) 4. Bible study, writing, reading, and quiet time in nature.  5. focus on the bigger picture. This too shall pass! I'm trusting God for the outcome.  I am believing for a full and healthy life that I never thought was possible, including a  healthy body and healthy, honest friendships. (Independent voters who love God, dogs, nature, and very very light to no political talk need only apply! see #3 LOL)

One thing to remember in this time of great division and destruction in our world is that God is still God. He's still the one who relentlessly pursues us and the people we are most at odds with every day. He won't forget us or the ones we have concerns about. We can trust Him with our worries and with the actions of those around us. We can ask God to help us love as He loves, understand as He understands, see as He sees, be humble like He is humble, be patient as He is patient, and be concerned about the state of others' hearts more than the quality of their opinions and actions. (and our own as well!) We can deposit people at the feet of Jesus, ask Him to care for them, and go about our business, nut and bananas free! Remember, we may see "them" as the problem, but they see "us"' as the problem, and until we all realize that we are all a part of the problem, the problem stays very well fed. Only trust in God followed by action can starve the problem. 

Blessings to you as you navigate this crazy world.  Maybe you're trying to forge different relationships with your family or reestablish wayward friends or looking to find some new friends. Maybe you're the one who caused a rift and you're looking to mend the fence you've blown. Whatever you have been forced to face, just know you will always have God at your side and on your side, facing it with you. 





Thursday, August 12, 2021

Truth, Unfiltered

  "Everyone loves the honest person until the honest person strikes a chord with a truth they weren't ready to receive."

Isn't that the truth? Have you ever tried to extend help to a complaining person and it turned out they really didn't want help at all, but they just wanted to keep complaining? Your "help" became an intrusion into their narrative of "poor poor pitiful me", and how dare you try to give them any kind of solution! 

It can be very frustrating to listen to a person continually complain about the same thing, over and over, especially when they do nothing proactive to change. And that same person will flat out ignore any knowledge, wisdom, or resources given to help them along the way. 

Sometimes I sit and marvel at the dummies who had Jesus right there next to them, sitting in his robe and sandals, and they STILL didn't listen or heed his advice. How blind do you have to be? 

The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, But a wise man is he who listens to counsel. 

Proverbs 12:15 

We can tell someone the same thing over and over, but eventually we need to realize that communicating isn't the problem. Their comprehension of not only the problem, but the solution, is the problem. We can't solve other people's problems. As frustrating as it can be to have the same complaint dumped at our feet each time, we have to learn not to pick it up, make it ours, and just keep blowing smoke at it with futility. Some people like talking about their problems more than they really desire to fix them. And I'm quite convinced that people really like talking about the world's problems without offering any intelligent solutions at all. 

I have a few solid people in my life who tell me the raw and honest, unfiltered truth. I need them. I need the truth all the time. I don't want it whitewashed and candy-coated. I need to know when I'm full of malarkey, when I'm fooling myself, when I'm off-base, or off my rocker. I need to know and I want to know the truth, and if you tiptoe around me or you walk on eggshells around it with me, I will know two things about you: 1. You don't really know me, and  2. You probably don't love me. Love equals honesty with me. And if I am able to be honest in return, we've got a deal made in heaven for eternity. 

If I tell you the truth and I'm being open and honest with you, it means I feel I know you and I care about you and love you and vice versa.  If I'm withholding, it means either you haven't allowed me to get to know you, we don't know each other well yet, or there isn't enough love or care between us at that point. Otherwise, the relationship will be sweet and surface, polite, complete with a muffin and coffee.  My least favorite kind. 

I have learned over the last two years that when I have spoken my truth or my heart, it has repelled the people who said they cared about me and would never step out of my life. However, they had felt or said those things because I kept myself at a distance from the topics I knew would cause hurt feelings among THEM. Again, communication can help or hurt, but comprehension is everything, and I knew I couldn't count on either of those things, and I was right.  People will only hear what serves them sometimes, and that certainly does not make for a very productive conversation, does it? An honest conversation really requires the one element that probably hurt me more than any of those interactions: love. A lack of love exposed will crack any relationship wide open and reveal just how shallow it was the whole time.  As the saying goes, the truth hurts. 

The truth people need to be ready to receive is that it's not what is going on in the world, or what people say to us (whether well-meaning, true or not), or even what we are saying quietly to ourselves. We are all under a much higher authority and a much more open mind than any of us can ever possess, and that is God. God works with us and through us, but if we aren't turning to Him every day for the insight and the direction we need for ourselves, then we can offer little direction for anyone else. 

When I even spend my daily 10 minutes updating myself on the US headline news on my Canadian (unbiased) news app, I find myself twisting up inside. When I spend 30 minutes with God and reading what the Bible says, and how I am to be conducting myself and toward others, I feel at peace. It's no wonder that there are millions of angry, unproductive, miserable, prideful, fatigued, and disgruntled people around the world. I am willing to bet there are more people spending their day watching garbage news than filling their minds with what God says about them. Is that a fair assumption based on what you've experienced with people lately? My goodness I'm tired of negative people and negative words and negative actions everywhere! 

One of my truth-telling dear friends, Norm, instructed me to step into the grass in my bare feet and spend some time asking God for my healing. I didn't just brush off his suggestion. I actually flipped off my shoes, as did my husband, and we spent the day in our bare feet up north, basking in the sun, and spending time in the Spirit of God and nature. When is the last time you took a dear friend's suggestion to heart? Do you know how many times I have suggested something to a friend and it gets brushed off? I would guess probably every time. But I value what Norm says because of two things in me: I want to see a change in me, and I believe in him and the results that his life reflects. I want to be more like Jesus, and Norm does too. Does that involve telling me things I don't like to hear sometimes? Yes, but if I'm wise, I'll listen. If I'm a fool, I won't. It's that simple. 

Whoever heeds instruction is on the path to life, but he who rejects reproof, leads others astray. 

Proverbs 10:17

You have to want to change, and part of change is recognizing the truth of the problem.  If you want to know what God thinks about you and what you're doing, you have to be willing to listen, put the time in, and make the changes. If you don't, then don't complain that your life isn't the life you want. God will use other people to tell you the truth sometimes, and maybe you'll strike out at them or not want them around anymore, but eventually if you are ready to listen, you will welcome the honesty and you will take the instruction. In other words, you'll take that humble pill we all need to take sometimes and get busy getting yourself better. 

Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ. 

Ephesians 4:15 ESV 


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