Fifteen

Natalie is 15 now. There, I said it out loud. I’m beginning to accept that she’s not a baby anymore! If she is, then I guess she wouldn’t have started driver’s education this week!  I remember being 15 and wanting to stay 15 forever. I told my parents that I didn’t want to get any older, that I liked my life just the way it was at that point. It was full of friends, sleepovers, babysitting, eating whatever I wanted and never getting fat, sleeping in, having no job other than babysitting and household chores, not being old enough to date and getting all complicated with boys, and still feeling dependent on my parents. Some may say that stinks, but if teens really knew what the years ahead would bring, they’d like an uncomplicated, no-responsibilities life just a little bit longer. If they would slow down just a little bit, they would say what Natalie said to me on her 15^th birthday. “I don’t want to get any older. I want to stay fifteen. I like my life this way.” It was then that I told her of my own wish at 15. Yes, something happens at 15. It’s a magical age, a special time between being a kid and becoming a young adult. Jump into it and it could spell disaster. Go too slow and you’ll miss something. Appreciating how good you have it, but knowing there’s something better for you is the way to embrace growing up and going forward at any age. I guess that's how I manage being able to embrace my kids growing up...and one day, out. There is something better for both of us. Them finding their groove, and me, watching and cheering them on.

Soon Natalie will be driving, dating, making her own decisions, working, trying to get into a good college. There will be plenty of time for all of that soon. But for now, sweet, unfettered, Hello Kitty jammies, no job, no dates, no worries….fifteen. And you won’t find me pushing her to be anything but that.

We know these years are few, they will fly by at a high speed blur. Maybe she doesn’t feel it, but we know how this thing called life really works. It moves in the blink of an eye. People tried to warn me as I held my newborn girl 15 years ago, "enjoy her being a baby. She'll be a teenager before you know it." And in what seems like a flash, they were right. It really does seem like yesterday that I was teaching her how to read. And now we're teaching her how to drive.

"Hold on to fifteen as long as you can", the song says. I think I may be holding on tighter than she ever could.