On a Bender and Loving It

In the last few days, I've thrown my diet out the window. Well, the word "diet" actually just means "a way of eating", so maybe I've just adopted a new diet instead.
Here goes....coke, lifesaver gummies, chips, bugles, and no portion control at all. I'm drinking a couple glasses of water a day, but mostly I go without. I have plenty of fruits to choose from, but I'd rather have a rice krispies treat. I have fresh veggies, but instead, I choose to eat pepperoni. Am I proud of that? No, but I am loving it all! Who cares anyway????

What happened, you ask? Well, reality happened. This is exactly what happens when self-control loses the battle with flesh control. I may know exactly what was behind the reasons I wanted all that junk, but it didn't stop me at all! I was unstoppable, people! There was food flying everywhere and all I could do was threaten anyone who came near me to "GET BACK!"

In a few words, I fell off the wagon. I'm a junkie. I'm an addict. I went on a bender. I was like an alcoholic who just walked into the bar to "use the phone". Yeah, I lost it. I didn't even care.

This happens! It's not even that I was denying myself too much. It was just stress and comfort mixed in with a little "i-give-up-ness". I am perfectly happy to sit on the couch and watch Jon & Kate plus Eight instead of getting on my elliptical. Yes, the flesh likes what the flesh likes.

So, today, as I was eating my bag of Hot Fries (not even tasty), I decided it was time to slap myself on the wrist, get some encouragement and get back into the game. I can do this! I can say "no" to the junk. To be honest, it doesn't even taste good to me. Well, the first few bites of something always taste the best, but after that, it's just not worth it. I feel sick after I eat that stuff. Call it a junk food hangover, I guess. Oh, how I need a remedy fast.

Welcome to the roller coaster of healthy eating and living. Obviously there is some more mind work to be done, ya think? I get easily discouraged with myself, so that's a hurdle I need to overcome. Who do I think I am anyway?? Not perfect, that's for sure!

Stay tuned as I wade through the cupcakes and make my climb back to the side of the mountain. Notice I didn't say the "top" of the mountain? I can't see it just yet, but it's there and I'll keep on climbing!