Weekend Happenings

On Friday night, we headed over to the Mt. Pleasant football game...Oilers vs. Dow Chemics... What a fun game to watch! Both teams have some great players, making for an even competition. Lots of nail biting. The Oilers won, 28 to 13! Go Oilers!

There's Alex, our nephew, heading back from a play. He's a go-getter!

Alex runs with the ball and all the other players just fall down! I just love football games! The crisp air, the band, the fans, the smash of helmet smacking helmet, my father in law getting so excited he nearly shakes me to pieces. Ah, yes. I can't wait for Friday again...Farwell vs. Beaverton. We're rooting for our nephew Travis and cousin Derrick on the Eagles team. That's Farwell, in case you had forgotten.

These are the four, count them, four Honeycrisp apples that grew on our tree that we just planted in the spring. The spring! The actual tree looked more like a glorified twig. We finally picked the apples after church on Sunday. Such excitement. Such anticipation. Our first apples ever. And Honeycrisps to boot!

Delicious! Serena and I gave the tree a little kiss for all the hard work it did all summer to bring us just one juicy crispy apple to enjoy. I just love Fall, don't you?

You'd have to have straw for brains not to love fall. Here we are standing in the front yard...ya gotta just love fall!

Shh....

Have you ever responded to a yelling child with more yelling? Where did (or does) it get you? A pretty big headache- that's about it. Oh, and a child who still won't listen in some cases.

Has someone ever yelled their beliefs at you a bit too strongly and you felt the urge to pull back? That's what happens to me when I feel someone is forcing their beliefs on me, whether it is a political stance, a religious one, or just a really strong opinion. To me it doesn't matter if I think you're wrong or right, I just don't care to have them thrown at me with no regard to my thoughts at all.

Like the child, I clamp my hands over my ears and you get a headache.

Yes, you will get more flies with honey. I will listen to you if you speak to me quietly and respectfully. If you raise your voice, become shrilly, or over-emotional, you have lost my attention. If your statement is drastic, irrational, or not backed up by actual unbiased facts (big mouthful), I will not hear you at all, like the child screaming while you scream.

Perhaps this is why the following was said....

"To aspire to be quiet or calm is the responsibility of every believer...it is the responsibility of every believer to desire with all their heart to be quiet and calm." Watchman Nee- The Spiritual Man (from a Joyce Meyer program)

Who do you know that is an example of quiet and calm but gets your attention? This is what we should aspire to be. In this time where beliefs threaten to divide us more than ever, we have to remain at peace inside when the storm is brewing everywhere else.

Do you want to be right? It's a lonely place. Strive to be at peace and joy will be your company!!

What's on My Mind

I'm still here, unlike Allison, who seems to have broken up with us and moved on to Facebook exclusively. Sigh...can't win them all, it's true. Miss ya, buddy.

So, I've been doing a lot of my usual fall stuff, which keeps me off this extremely slow computer. I sure wish my life was as slow as this hunk of plastic.

I've been apple picking, which resulted in a lot of applesauce, and I have even more apples to make into the promised apple pie this week. Not sure when I'll get to that, but hopefully soon. The freezer is getting full of all kinds of goodies and for that I am grateful.

I've been doing some encouraging, which blessed me last week and continues to do so. All I can say is never give up on that loved one....God is still working on them even if you feel it's impossible. We should know better, but sometimes we forget.

My buddy moved to Vicksburg and is feeling a bit lonely, so we've had some great conversations full of lots of laughter as usual. It is wonderful to have a friend who really makes time for you, and I have that in Patty. No matter what is going on in her busy life with 4 children, she makes time for her friends!! I can learn a lot from her, I suppose.

We have a load of dirt in the front yard again....I have a bedroom to paint....carpets to steam...a deck to finish (still didn't get that done)....a closet to organize....and on and on. Each day I am so grateful to be home doing all of that instead of dealing with the stress of an outside job. I'll take this any day, pitfalls and all.

This coming Saturday, I have the honor of photographing our niece, Cassie for her senior pictures. I say that so calmly, but I'm a bit of a nervous wreck. I'm not a professional. I feel I just get really lucky with my shots sometimes. I am hoping for a beautiful day full of color and that the light is "just right" for her beautiful face! So, another thing to do this week is scope out places to photograph her in the best possible way.

I will finally make it back to Pearls tomorrow after having to miss the first two. Of course, fearless leader Barb will not be there, but I'm sure Jenn will have something good. I'm helping to do an icebreaker tomorrow, which will be fun. Since leaving the Women's Ministry, I had started feeling a bit out of the loop! Oh well, there's always a loop for me somewhere, right?

Especially here, where I am never out of the loop. I'm the family manager, home manager, and dog manager. I'm the one who knows all, hears all, sees all, and cleans all. I wouldn't change a minute of it, believe it or not. Although, I truly would like to spend more time with friends and at least connecting with someone else besides my Kenmore and my beloved dog.

So, that's what's on my mind today. What's on yours? What's for dinner tonight? Any suggestions for my pictures of Cassie? Got time for coffee next week?

Love to all...have a blessed week!

Wow Moments

It's been a weird week. Steve is incredibly busy at work with all kinds of issues flying at him, which makes him later getting home, and of course, school is in full swing. What better time for me to get a migraine? Yup. Missed Serena's field trip. Made Steve have to leave work so someone could get Natalie to volleyball, Serena home from school, and pick Natalie back up at 5:00. When I'm in bed with a headache and I can't do my normal duties, I just want to scream!

BUT, the enemy would enjoy that way too much, so instead, I pray. Not for me, but for anyone and everyone who needs it. That is how I spend my sleepless hours of pain. Then the nyquil kicks in and I am finally pain free for awhile.

Monday morning came with a phone call that really blessed me. My sister, who recently gave her heart to Jesus, left me a message, an urgent message to call her right away....she thinks God has given her a purpose! I smiled as I dialed her number upon returning from school that morning. Yes. The headache had already started, but I just knew I had to call her. He indeed had given her a purpose, or maybe a project to do, and the passion and excitement in her voice was contagious! We began a wonderful conversation about our Lord and all He means to us. She asked questions, and I flipped through my Bible as I tried in desperation to find just the right words and scripture to back me up. It was there, right where I needed it. She told me how proud of me she has always been and how much she loves me. She tried to give me credit for her finding the Lord, but I told her God gets all the glory for that because He drew her to Him! She just finally turned around and said "Hello". I wasn't sure I was going to share this with people, but I am so blown away by this transformation, that I know God would want me to tell it on the mountain! My sister has that passion that every new Christian has. They want to tell everyone what they know. They want everyone to feel the excitement and the love of God. They don't care who they tell, they just want to tell! Praise God is really all I can say!

So, we ended our conversation and the phone rang right away...my friend, Patty, who recently moved to Vicksburg. I was still pretty pumped about my conversation with my sister. Patty and I go way back, and she probably knows more of my family history than anyone, so she knows why this was so exciting to me. She listened as I went on and on, and I know Patty is a believer, but she's pretty low key, so I was probably driving her nuts. Or was I? Was that God's way of getting me to open up more to her? I'm usually a little more careful in my "God speak" when talking to her...I never really knew why...Did he use my excitement over my sister to witness to Patty? Oh, why am I even asking. I know He definitely had a purpose in both of those calls.

Why I had the headache, I don't know. Why I dumped a pan of tomatoes on the bottom of my oven while on the phone, I don't know that either. I do know tomatoes stink while they are burning on the oven floor. I know stepping in tomato slime is not good for white socks.

Later, when I came out of my headache, my darling devious daughter Natalie was cleaning up the dinner dishes while Dad ran out to pick up Serena from a friend's house. I thought she looked so sweet while helping her poor sick mom. Note the previous use of the word devious....
She headed up to get ready for bed and I was talking with Steve when he got back. I went to turn on the kitchen faucet and got a sprayerful of water right in my face! Darling daughter had taped the sprayer in the "on" position for the unsuspecting fool who turned on the faucet. That was kind of a "wow" moment in itself. Now she is sleeping with one eye open, as my paybacks are you-know-what!! She couldn't contain her giggles when I told her the faucet hadn't found her sister, but had gotten me instead...the poor girl. She couldn't even fake being sorry because she was so proud that her gag had worked and worked well! She is so me!

So, wow moments. The week isn't even over and they just keep coming. I'll keep you posted on more wow moments, because I do have more to tell! Stay tuned....

Very Special Day Pics

All of you who knew I had a migraine on the original baptism date will not believe this one... I felt great yesterday when the girls were baptized. In fact, people asked me how my headaches have been and I said, "not too bad so far". Hmmm...Guess what happened today? A super migraine ALL day. Well, at least it didn't ruin another baptism, right? And I'm a bit better now, so here are those special pics. Some things just can't wait. There goes Serena, after answering her question from Pastor Dave..."what does Jesus mean to you?" I love him very much, was part of her answer.

This is Natalie before getting baptized, because the pictures during and after are so hilarious! Her face looks like she's being tortured, as she got water in her nose and mouth. That girl....

Her answer was very special too..."He is my Lord and Savior and I love Him."

Everyone emerges from the pond feeling invigorated....and wet! Such brave people to jump in a pond in September. The girls each gave me wet sloppy hugs right after this! PD was funny as usual, and made it fun and memorable for the girls.

There's the cake I made for them....I'm a bit rusty with my cake decorating..it's been awhile. They sure loved it though!

The girls didn't say much about the baptism until bedtime, and this conversation with 11 year old Natalie gave me goosebumps....

Me to Natalie, as I'm tucking her in: Good night, my little baptized girl...

Natalie: Good night, Mom.

Me: Now that you're baptized, let's think of some things we can do to help you get to know the Lord better, like some devotions in the morning....

Natalie: Okay, sounds good....

Me: Wasn't that cool today...I mean, cold? (smiling)

Natalie: Mom, after I got baptized, I felt this really heavy weight being lifted off me, like I just felt so much better.

Me: Really? (teary and goose-bumpy) That's wonderful!

Natalie: Yeah, and I think there are some choices I've been making that haven't been so good and don't make me feel right, and I'm not going to do it anymore.

Me: (a bit hesitant) Like what kinds of things?

Natalie: Oh, just sometimes I listen to the radio and they say bad things. I think I'll listen to 101.7 again. (Christian contemporary station)

Me: (relieved that it's not something worse) I think that's a great idea! I am so proud of you!

More was said, more hugs were given, and I felt a great burden lifting from me too, as I realize just how much God works in her life without me even knowing about it. I may be her mom, but He is her Father, and Ican certainly trust Him with her life.

Stay tuned to more true life stories about God's power working in the lives around me. It's gonna be good!!

A Very Special Day

My girls surprise me often, but I was really taken aback when Natalie asked me if she could be baptized. A long discussion followed, as I wanted her to know the seriousness of her request. I wanted to know why she wanted to be baptized. I should back up a bit because the week before that she asked me about the "age of accountability", in other words, when you don't get a "free pass" anymore because you're a kid! (her words) She was truly worried that even though she had already accepted Jesus into her heart, unless she was baptized, she'd be going "down below". Well, we talked about that too, and I settled her fears on that one. It all came down to this. If she could show Jesus how much she loved him, why not do it now? Why wait. Yes. She was ready to be baptized.

Now, Serena is almost 10, and part of me wanted her to wait until she was a bit older, but she gave me the same argument. Why wait when you love Jesus so much? It is said that we can learn a lot from kids, and in this case, it is so true. Yes. Why wait? If you can show God how much you love him and show others how much you love him by being baptized, then there is no time like the present!!

So, after talking it over with Pastor Dave, we felt they were indeed ready to make that commitment. After discussing it with certain people, I started to get the feeling that they thought the kids may be too young or not ready. Boy, don't underestimate kids! Kids of all ages are baptized, as soon as they can make the decision on their own and with the change in their own hearts. I believe parents are the best judges when it comes to whether or not your child is truly ready and acting on the the right reasons. I would never discourage a child who desires baptism. What's the worst that could happen? They decide to be baptized again at a later time? More power to them, I say. I will be there for every single one if that's the case!

The most important thing I wanted them to get from this is that they belong to the Lord, they are to live for Him and Him alone, and family and their church family will be there for them every step of the way! I wanted them to see it, hear it, feel it, and know it! Why wait for that??

We had no idea who would be there tonight, other than 4 of our family members, but we were so appreciative and happy to see so many kind faces there to encourage our girls! It meant so much to us that they would give up a Sunday evening to witness their baptism and to support their decision no matter how young they may be.

We treated the girls to a special cake I had made them, and gave them each a journal for their prayers and thoughts, and a cross necklace with matching earrings. Grandma and Grandpa gave them willow tree angel sets called "Sisters at Heart". They are two girls with their hands clasped in one another's. Very fitting for sisters who wanted to be baptized together!

I have been trying to post the pictures with no success so far, but I will keep trying until it works, so expect them soon!!

Too long?

Here's my little postscript before I leave....

"I really like her blog, but it's soooo long!" I've heard this about a certain someone's blog (not mine, of course), and I was surprised. I actually love this same person's blog because it's sooooo long and so full of experiences and feelings. And to think, people actually type out whole words instead of "txt" words, and we have to take all that time to read the whole thing!!

In the days of "get it now" and "have it your way", I think it's sad that we've become people who want the cliff notes version of everything, even conversations!!

Have you ever had someone write you a long letter and you just read it over and over because you didn't want it to end? I sure have. I miss those letters! They've been replaced by quick emails and shorter phone calls because everyone is so "busy".

Texting! An even shorter way to "not really talk" to someone. Or, call waiting because we think we have to cater to every single phone call at the same time! Not me, mister.

I will read long things, listen to long conversations, and NOT operate my call waiting. That's right. I don't use it!!! Sue me!

While some technology, such as email, is my friend, I can still write a letter. A good long one that someone can keep and hold in their hands for a long time. What's so "snail" about mail anyway?

Remember, good things come to those who wait!!

ok, now I'm gone......

Chasing Tomatoes and other Updates

I've been pretty busy these past few days with appointments, never-ending chores, and doing my fall canning/freezing. Blight seems to have claimed many of the tomatoes around here, so finding any tomatoes has been a challenge. Finding good tomatoes has been impossible. My parents and I found some today, which will be ready for canning in a few days. I found some good corn, so I bought more of that to freeze as well. The freezer is already pretty full and I haven't done applesauce yet. I will be busy with that next week.

Sophie is finally getting over her ear infection, which I didn't even mention last week. She was a pretty miserable pup, and we quickly became miserable along with her. Each night she would wake us to go out about every hour or two. She did something pretty similar at this same time last year, so we took her to the vet right away. $291.35 later, we had our diagnosis. Allergies. She received a cortisone shot, a vigorous ear cleaning, blood work, and more tests. They prescribed anti anxiety medication for her, although I have been taking it. Tastes like liver, but who cares. Anyway, several nights in a row I slept very little, and stepped in dog pee at least 4 times. Apparently a side effect to a cortisone shot is excessive thirst and excessive urination. Seems the vet could have warned us. She'll get my bill later. I now wear waders when I walk into the kitchen at 3 in the morning, just in case.

So, a little tired, somewhat irritable, this past week or so has been a bit challenging to say the least. She has slept through the night two nights in a row now, and I am so grateful. I felt so sorry for her, and it is a great relief to know she's feeling better. I just love that mischievous little stinker of a lovey dog.

The girls have settled into school very well, and seem excited about their new teachers and subjects. Serena is in choir this year, and she just thinks Mrs. Mikulin hung the moon. Of course, she thinks her art teacher did that too! She just really connects with people. I like that she does that. It makes my job easier.

Natalie is doing really well with her saxophone. She seems to have gotten our music gene, at least on my side of the family. I can tell you where she gets her pokey gene, but I will get in trouble.

Our week will end with the Homecoming parade and game on Friday night. On Sunday, the girls will finally be baptized, having been forced to cancel the original August date. I will be sure to post pictures.

I'm out for the week, though, having many things I need to do in the next couple of days. I also spend a fair amount of time doing actual writing on my new laptop. My writing needs to be more of a priority than my blog, but I will try to combine both, as I have so far anyway.

Have a great week! I'll be praying for rain, but not for Sunday!

A Birthday to Remember

I have been spoiled completely and utterly rotten by my family. I have been loved on and pampered to the point of oblivion. Steve, the mastermind of the whole operation, made sure I had the best birthday ever! On Friday night, we went to Pizza Man's for our annual birthday pizza. We even ran into our favorite former Pizza Man server, Jamie, so that was cool. It seems she was always working on my birthday in the years past. This time she was having dinner! Of course, she stopped to wish me a happy birthday. It's a shame I'm so much younger....tee hee.

On Saturday, Steve and the girls went shopping for my birthday, which had them all in super giggly spy mode, as they just love to surprise me! I love it too, by the way. So, having the house all to myself (again), I went outside and played in the dirt and bark for 4 hours. I turned on a radio station that was playing flashback music, which happened to come from my high school days. How fitting! I was groovin' and movin' out there in the backyard, having a ball.
What was really great too, was that while they were out shopping for me, they also took my grocery list and did the grocery shopping I was going to do. Oh, I despise grocery shopping, so that was a gift in itself!!

Later that night, I was treated to yet another birthday dinner. I knew they had spent way too much money on me during the day, so I suggested we go somewhere cheaper since we had just eaten out the night before. Nope. There would be none of that practical stuff. We went to one of my favorite places...Olive Garden!! This was my birthday weekend, and the stops were being pulled out! Oh, the food was glorious!! It was glorious for lunch on Sunday too!

Who knew turning the big 4-0 would be such a big deal? Well, who's complaining? Not me, or Sara the server, because Steve is a big tipper.

Well, that apparently wasn't enough of a celebration for the birthday party planner, Steve. It wasn't even my birthday yet. On Sunday after church, we began preparations for a family cookout with my parents. I suppose they're pretty important in this birthday thing too, since without them, I would probably be someone else's daughter or maybe a dog or a horse. Tee hee.

Steve was tied up writing something all afternoon, and the girls were mysteriously absent, having spent a lot of time in the basement. Turns out, they were wrapping gifts, and gifts did they deliver. I was a bit shocked at all the presents, but the look on their faces was priceless. Again, a gift in itself.

Steve presented me with the project that had him busy all day....a handwritten letter, expressing his love for me from the time we met, throughout our experiences, to the present time. It told of how he can look back now and see where God led us to each other. It was the most touching, loving, and most humble letter I have ever or will ever receive. He told me I wouldn't cry, but I will when I can read it in its entirety. I deliberately skimmed it, because I know how I am, and blubbering while opening presents just didn't seem like fun. It was truly from his heart, and I can't tell you how much it meant to me. There are no truly fitting words. One day, our daughters will have this letter in their possession. Another gift.

So, I opened the first gift, and I was speechless, although I kind of guessed it. I am now the proud owner of my very own laptop!!! Steve called it the "push" for my "jump", knowing how much I need it for my writing, and he wants to support whatever I decide to do. very humbling indeed.

The girls got me U of M pajama bottoms and lounge tops, earrings, a CD, slippers, and a bunch of bath and body works stuff (supposedly from Sophie). Serena told me she read all the cards before she chose the one with Snoopy on it. She knows how much I love Snoopy. Natalie's card was clever and funny, and she told me I'm the "Mommiest". My parents joined us for a wonderful dinner and we ate in our dining room for the first time. Mom and Dad's card was so beautiful, and mom brought along some snacks, salad, potatoes, and a trifle. She even brought the girls some refrigerator pickles. Wait. Isn't it my birthday? Think I'll eat some of those pickles! The girls decorated the cake that Steve baked and sprinkled it with soooooo much love!
I had a perfectly wonderful birthday weekend, but more importantly, I have love. Who do I have to thank for all of that love and all of those gifts?

You guessed it. My Father. God!! Thank you for my many gifts and for my family and friends!

What I Learned From Waiting

It has occurred to me that everything good in my life is something I had to wait for. I was the youngest of 4, sometimes 5, so waiting was just as common as breathing for me. I waited for my sister to be done with her bike so I could ride it. (I did not like her bike at all, and it was given to me as a birthday regift. Could be related, ya think?) So, I waited for my brother to get tired of his ten speed before finally claiming it for my own. I waited and waited for my babysitting money to pile up, then I went and purchased my first new bike on my own. It was worth it. I was always saving for something, never careless with money at all. I valued things because I had to wait for them. My parents would say to me constantly, "it's good to want". Yes, I got tired of hearing it, but it was often the "wanting" I was coveting, not the item itself. Oddly enough, the real goodness turned out to be the wait.

There is nothing in my life that I've ever gone through that came easy or fast for me. It seemed I was always waiting for something or someone, and while others seemed to breeze by, I was still waiting. I'd like to say how it has taught me endurance and patience, but it was mostly frustrating at the time! It's only now that I can see where the waiting was the necessary piece of every puzzle I would one day put together.

I got sick in college and was forced to quit. I waited and waited while doctor after doctor seemed to mess with me, then tell me to try this drug and simply wait. My life sat on hold for years as I waited. Years I can't get back. I met Steve while I was waiting. Guess it wasn't so bad to wait after all, right? I waited patiently while he did what he needed to do to create a stable life for us before we could be married. I waited forever it seemed! It turns out I needed that time of waiting to be completely sure he was the one for me. By the way, he still is.

We bought our first house while renting in Midland. We waited for a closing that never seemed to happen, then had to move in with my parents after only a few months of marriage as our rental house was going up for sale. We waited again, frustrated that we couldn't just jump into that house and start our lives. We waited to have children because we wanted to be ready, then found we would still be waiting as it didn't happen for quite awhile. At this point in my life, I was sick and tired of being left waiting, but I knew enough to accept whatever would be. I was so familiar with this loser concept of waiting that I began to feel it was a heavy cloud over me. I began to feel picked upon, singled out, and it made me feel small and insignificant. It was so unfair! Yes, waiting can do that to a person's spirit if they're not careful.

We finally had the baby we wanted, and turns out, we didn't have to wait long at all for baby #2! The one time I could have used the extra waiting.....oh well. We planned and waited for years to build our dream home and let me tell you....waiting was torture through the whole process. We had one builder. One! We hired out some of the bigger jobs, and did much of the work ourselves with the help of our dads. We waited for help that didn't come. I can tell you that all that waiting made us appreciate our new home even more. I am still waiting for some trimwork though...

There are things in my life that I begged God to fix, cried out to him in desperation and tears, and still he made me wait. It was only through my waiting that I could see His power and His hand over me. I really had to understand that I wasn't in control, and I couldn't do it on my own. He took this headstrong, stubborn, independent girl and put her in a time out! As soon as I acknowledged Him and gave Him the glory for all I had waited for, I finally felt the peace that comes with waiting. Yes. Peace. Not frustration. I'm not saying waiting is easy. We waited for months for my uncle's healing, and instead watched him leave this world. Was the waiting worth it then? I have to believe there is a purpose in everything we wait for, whether it's what we want or not. It's got to be that way, to show God we trust Him with everything in our lives. Yes, I can wait, and it won't make me feel small and insignificant or forgotten anymore. I'm guessing the longer I wait, the greater the glory will be, because that is the proof I have seen so far.

There are worse things than having to wait for something. Keep waiting and you will see.

Who Is This For? I Hope It's Not You...

Do you now or have you ever felt like you were someone's second choice? Maybe it's a friendship that has stayed in the same spot forever. Have you ever been asked to do something and you get the feeling there's an ulterior motive? You find out later there was. How about being in a room full of "friends" who really aren't your friends at all. Ever feel used? Taken advantage of? Overlooked? Dismissed? Ever feel people don't take the time to get to know you because you don't fill a need in their lives at that moment or your life is too "different" from theirs that they can't "relate" to you? Do you ever find that you have much to offer and no one asks for your expertise? Doesn't see you have talents and doesn't care. You're not fun enough, outgoing enough, involved enough. You don't know the "right" people. Have you been on the outside looking in? The square peg in the round hole? The last to know? The outsider. The one standing by awkwardly because the conversation doesn't include you and no one cares. It's so about "them" that you become invisible. You scream on the inside, I'm standing right here. Can you see me? I can hear you, yet you can't hear me. Maybe you aren't MVP. Wrong family name. Wrong political views. Wrong upbringing. Just wrong all over the place in someone else's eyes. Well, you're not a player. You're not number one. You're not even near the field! You can't boost any egos because no one cares what you think anyway. You are replaceable, expendable, and you won't be missed. In fact, you're in the way. You don't join in when the gossip starts, and that doesn't help your popularity at all. You become an alien. You don't look like anyone and can't recognize your own anymore. You are a towel on the locker room floor, used and tossed aside. You may even be asked to clean up a mess or two. Again, ulterior motives. Disagree with them and you are on the list. Remember, you're second choice. You don't have a right to your opinions unless "they" agree.

Don't be the thoughtless offender above. Don't even come close. Don't show a smidgen of that in your heart or your behavior. It's godless behavior, and that is sin. Yet I see it, experience it, hear about it, and it makes me heartsick to see people disregard another human being. For what reasons? Very unintelligent, emotion-driven excuses.

I've said this before and I will say it more and more. People walk around with baggage bigger than you know or could understand. Some people have so much pain in their lives that they can't possibly "perform" to your expectations. They can't "clean it up" to suit you. Stop looking at the face value. Stop evaluating people to see where they can benefit you, and instead work on giving them something valuable. Stop making sure that person is a good "fit" in your life and see where you can make an odd-shaped hole for someone who needs you. Love someone else. It's that simple. It's simple and it's difficult, but it's what we have to do. What's in it for you? Nothing.

What's in it for God, who told us to love one another? Everything. Is that enough for you?

Nine Nine O Nine

This really has nothing to do with today's date, although because I watch numbers, it is pretty cool for me. I don't think it holds any significance at all, it just sounds fun...nine nine o nine! So, I will say it all day.

Our school year WAS off to a great start yesterday. Both girls, especially Serena, had a great day at school. Nothing went wrong. Everything went right. Happy Happy Happy.

We headed to Midland for their haircuts after school...we were a bit early, so I swung over to Wal-Mart for some more 5 cent notebooks, scrapbook paper, and the new Miley Cyrus CD. I had a great plan and it would have worked too.

So, the haircuts turn out great, the girls are still happy...dinner. Happy still! Clean up after dinner...well, anyone's happiness tends to wane when chores come along. My plans for the notebooks and scrapbook paper began to fade. Dun Dun Dun...

Natalie has a whole new schedule, and she's in band this year. So she says, I have band tomorrow. I don't know where I'm supposed to go. (Oh, no, not this again) I say, well, did you ask? Apparently not. I tell her, why don't you call Grace and ask her? Her face falls. (here we go!) I leave her to the task of calling her friend, whose number I wrote down for her. I had some things to do, and I admit, I was a bit irritable, as I have been awakened by pee pee dog for 4 nights in a row, so I have not had a good night's sleep for quite a long time. So, I knew I'd have to dig deep for patience. I walk back in. Did you call her? (knowing she didn't) She gives me the look. Pouty, sad, best friend died kind of look. (get ready) Why won't you call her? The tears fall, the incoherence begins. You know I am afraid to use the phone! I'm an idiot! I know I'll never keep any friends because I don't call them! I know it's stupid! I don't want to do it! And the rest is hysteri. The drama continues (no, I am not callous, she just needs to get over this). The tears and drama elevates, as I am calmly trying to explain that if she's not willing to call her friend, we will just have to find out when we get to school. This creates even more wailing. You won't bail me out! I don't know what to do! I don't want to look stupid! Eveyone will laugh!

Now, I was 11 once, and I know how real this situation was for her, but she was getting herself so worked up, I couldn't even reason with her. She interrupted me so many times, I finally just left Steve to deal with her. Poor guy. He had to follow her outside, where she was running shoeless to the treehouse. All over not knowing where to go for band. Can anyone say hormones? I am not laughing at her, by the way. I was truly pained by her behavior. I was frustrated beyond belief because I know all it is is fear, and fear can be paralyzing. She was letting it paralyze her. Believe me, I was trying to encourage her without babying her, and it was getting so difficult. Finally Steve told her she needed to go lay on her bed and get very quiet. It worked. Why didn't I think of that, is all I want to know.

So, she settled down, satisfied with the assurance that I would walk in with her today, which I did. Now, I will back up. Because of all her crying, she was extremely tired, and not prepared for today. So, she was running late. Serena was waiting in the van for a full ten minutes. I called the school (here's the bailout) and asked where to take the band students. They tell me after checking around, it's over at the old school. Okay. No problem. I will drop off Serena first since she was on time, then I will take Nat over to the old school. It was 8:16. The tardy bell rings at 8:20. Did I mention how terrified Natalie is of being late as well? She's terribly worried about so many things...it's got a life of its own at this point, and has me in knots sometimes. So, I trust what the office tells me, and take her to the old school. No one is there. All the while, she's lugging her saxophone telling me how heavy all of her stuff is. I don't offer to take it from her. She's got to learn. (mean mom? No. I don't want a spoiled kid- judge me who cares) So, we drive back over to the ele school, me sputtering all the way. Didn't help her to hear me sputtering I'm sure. So, I walk her to her home room, where I find out, she's supposed to be in gym. What? Is that what that meant on her schedule (band-gym)? I didn't get it. I assumed band meant band. Then gym meant gym. So I go over and tell Nat, go to gym. Her worry? Did everyone else bring their instruments to school? Too worried that she'd look like "an idiot". It's sad to me to see her struggling, but I know this is part of growing up, and we all go through it. It's not all fun and games, this hormone stuff. She doesn't want to grow up. She tells me this often. She wants to be a kid, though she's outgrown the 7-16 sizes now. She doesn't want to shave her legs (and no is telling her to). She is annoyed by the responsibilities of growing up, and seems to be fighting it every step of the way.
Tonight, I am sure we'll have a talk about how to cope with these little surprises and how to deal with these fears she has. I truly pray we can get her to a place where she embraces change and can roll with the punches a bit better. She tells us all the time, I don't like to roll with the punches. (life will be tough for her until she gets this) Tonight, I will have her do an exercise. I will have her write on the left side of the page things she is worried about. On the right, I will have her write out a solution. I will pray for her, and guide her, but I can't take it all away, and it wouldn't be good if I tried to fix everything for her. As much as I wanted to swoop in and help her, just as badly, I wanted her to do it herself.

As great a kid as Natalie is, she is just that. She's a kid. Growing up stinks. We all know this. I'm approaching 40, and do I want to embrace change? Not so much, but I will because I know it's good for me. She knows we love her and want what is best for her, and she knows we want to see her conquer her fears and succeed. We don't want anything to stand in this girl's way, as in my opinion, both of my girls are "destined for greatness".

First Day of School Support Group

Hi. My name is Jami. I am almost 40, and my "baby" just started 4th grade. Funny, I thought she'd be in her Carter's pjs until they actually wore out. Nope. No luck there. I should be in a support group since each year putting my kids back to school is like gut wrenching torture, admitting again they won't be little forever. Natalie started sixth grade today. This will be her final year at CES. (horrified gasp) Each year the kids get older. I'm getting older too. This Landslide's got me down. Oh, that's a song, isn't it?

The girls had a really good first day. A new art teacher is on staff, and he impressed Serena beyond belief. She cannot wait for art class. You don't know how that differs from last year! They are both looking forward to gym. Yes, gym!! Why? New gym teacher....football coach! Hey, he probably knows how to do a push up or two the right way! That's cool in their eyes. Mine too.

Nothing pleases me more than adults and mentors in their lives who leave a positive mark. I can't be all and do all for them. I just can't! There are people in this world I want them to know and admire. People who know more than me, as hard as that is to believe! People who think differently than I do, and can show them new sides to things. People who will challenge them in ways I haven't thought of myself. Something about being away from me makes my kids stronger and more capable. This my friends, is the torture part of letting go. This is the part they need most, and not ironic, the hardest for me.

So, as hard as it is to let go and let them explore the world, it is the way it has to be. I have to let them fly. Soar even. Most of us can name at least one teacher or coach who changed our lives. I certainly can. Our kids are exposed to all kinds of people who touch their lives, whether it's the lunch lady (who my dad loved), the bus driver (yes, there are kind ones), or that English teacher that told me I was hiding my light under a bushel basket (RIP). There will be Sunday school teachers, youth leaders, parapros, band directors, music teachers, etc.... and all of them will leave some kind of impression. My job is to LET them and stay out of the way.

So, on this first day of school, it will also be a first day for me. I'm almost 40 and my life for the last 11 years has been all about being a mom. It is time for this mom to soar too! It is time to get my pot bubbling and teach these girls a lesson about perseverance. It is time for me to find what makes me fly. After all, the mama bird has to fly so the baby birds can see how it's done. I will always be mom, of course, but I am Jami too. And at almost 40, I need to spread my wings....and jump!

Wacky Photo Moments

My family offers me probably the most comic relief of anyone I know! My girls are cut ups, Steve turns into a total weirdo sometimes, and me? Well, I'm just unpredictable. I don't even know what I'll do next sometimes. Must be something in our water. Here are some crazy photo moments from our vacation. I'm sure they'll all forgive me. Right?
Natalie was trying to tease the waves, I guess. She kept trying to get out of the way, only to get hit with an icy blast! It looked like some ancient tribal dance!

Give me a serious face, Natalie. Yup. That's what she gave me alright!

See, my poor family will do anything to make me laugh. They made lots of other people laugh too with their added antics, while their heads were stuck in there. I stuck my head in some other cutouts, like a toddler, and a dog. Too bad I had the camera, right?

Do NOT take my picture, Mom! Natalie was giving Serena a boost on the big bear, while Serena couldn't stop laughing. Yup. I took the picture. Then I posted it! Crazy me.

And last but not least...Serena before braces.


Not all moments in life are funny, and some are downright serious, but if we can laugh, we can make it through anything!

Northern Adventures....Final Day

On our last day of our trip, we went to Historic Mill Creek/ Discovery Park. The girls signed up for the adventure tour, and got to climb a rock wall. Serena got the "easy" side, while Natalie took the challenging side. As they passed the big red buttons, they could press them for a loud bird call. At the top was the eagle button. Guess who got to press it?

Climb, Serena, Climb!

Nope. Although Nat put in her very best effort, Serena got to the top of the wall and pressed that button proudly! She came back down with a huge smile that said, "I can't believe I did it!" We could. Both girls are good at taking on challenges and not giving up! (most of the time)

There's Serena, zip lining down from a very high spot. They walked across a very narrow suspension bridge that gave me the willies! Then zoom....down they flew. Serena couldn't turn to see me, so all the pictures are of the back of her. Oh well!

Natalie didn't think she wanted to do this, but her nature guide encouraged her by hooking her up and telling her to have a good ride! Sometimes that's the only way to get my stubborn girl to do anything new! She did it and had a great time.

Here we are at the Colonial Fort. These guys were a hoot! They packed that cannon so full of stuff I can't believe any of us could hear after this thing fired. They made lots of jokes and made all of us laugh.

These girls are growing like the greens on that tree...too fast, and getting harder and harder to "trim". However, they are far from wild and untamed so far! They just get nicer (so far) and funnier and more and more interesting as they mature. I saw a lot of beautiful views while on vacation, but the one above is still my favorite one..seeing my girls happy and mugging for every shot!!

Thanks for joining me on my blogcation!!