The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly

Last week the girls and I had lunch and a visit with G & G Big Blue House. Mom needed some landscaping advice, and we had a chance to catch up on other things. As usual, I wasn't feeling well, and after my PT appointments, I usually feel worse! I'm not a baby about pain, but really, it's ridiculous! They actually ask me questions throughout the therapy, as if I can actually respond! What am I doing today? Soaking in a large tub of ice, thanks to you!! Where does my husband work? He's a hitman for people who cause pain to his wife!! Seriously, do they know how much that hurts? They seem not to notice.

On Saturday, Natalie and I headed out to breakfast and for a 1/2 birthday shopping trip for Serena! Her actual half birthday was the 27th, but we wanted her to think we weren't doing anything this year. So, we bought the cake, the ice cream and some new decorations, plus a couple of inexpensive gifts. The emphasis is really on just recognizing that her birthday 2 days after Christmas often gets a little deflated. After 2 days of opening gifts and eating cookie after cookie, no one is too enthused about birthday stuff. It's sad. So, we threw her a surprise summer birthday bash again, complete with some new surprises.

For one, we got Daddy to take Serena out for some shopping and an Icee. Then Natalie and I went to work decorating the gazebo and making signs for all along the driveway. We turned up 101.7 and cheered when she got home! We hula hooped (well, not me), danced on the deck, played badminton, water balloons, and of course, ate her favorite meal and lots of cake! Serena loved her surprise and even more, loved that we cared enough to surprise her too! She also gets a sleepover with the friend of her choice!

As a family, there's nothing more important than celebrating each other, and being grateful for each other's presence. You really never know when your last moment with someone will be, so why not enjoy every one you have??

On Sunday, we had planned to see a movie together. Steve's been pretty busy with that patio, and was ready for a break. However, I came home from helping out at church not feeling quite myself. I don't know if it was a side effect thing or what, but I ended up in bed most of the day. So, once again, plans diverted. I woke up to Serena making me a raspberry cream pie, and Natalie painting a picture of the flowers on the front porch. Steve was making dinner, and no one complained about missing the movie. I am very loved and very blessed. I can't even tell you.

I haven't really spoken to many of my friends lately, since I tend to stick to myself when I'm not feeling well. I guess I don't want all the sympathy and attention. What I do tend to need is understanding. Today I had a visit with a friend and it left me feeling as if she really didn't understand how I was feeling. That's a lonely thing. I already feel a bit isolated as it is, I'm over tired, feeling frustrated, then I get the "uh-huh" kind of thing. So, I shouldn't let it bother me, right? It is true. I can't let that bother me. I have enough people who are close enough to me to know I need a little extra these days. They are the same ones who know that although I don't have much extra, I would still give them something if they needed me.

I lost friends over my migraines years ago, and I guess it's a fear of mine that when you start having physical problems, no one wants to be around you. You become work. Well, I don't want to be "work", but I do need my close friends to know why I can't always jump in when they'd like me to. I hope that I don't act like that to the friends of mine who struggle physically sometimes. I hope that we can all see past the outside and appreciate the inside, because that's really where it's at.

The Lord knows how I appreciate the good days, and I have hope that "this too shall pass". I'm much too fiesty, stubborn, wild-hairy to be knocked down quite so soon! I guess I need to pull out a little more Irish and get busy!

Take care, my friends. I know who you are, and I love you!

Getting Better

Well, I couldn't just leave you hanging, so here's my update. Thanks to whoever is praying for me, I finally got 2 nights of uninterrupted sleep! So, thank you! I started Physical Therapy on Wednesday, or shall I call it "physical torture"? They think I don't have sciatica, but that it is bursitis. Exactly what I've been thinking all along, but we still won't know for sure until we give the therapy some more time. So, right now I'm not allowed to do much of anything, because everything irritates the already inflamed bursa. That sounds really elderly, doesn't it?? I can't swim, run, walk long distances, ride my bike, or do stairs. The girls are loving that last one. No bedroom checks! All I want to know is why they can't ban laundry, dishes, and cooking???

Anyway, the therapy is very painful, and I'm not noticing improvement yet. Today was just as bad as yesterday, but I did leave with a cortisone patch. My new beta blocker is making me tired, but should help with all the heart "burps" and my migraines. And here Steve thought my heart palpitations were all about him. Thanks to my doc and my God, things are finally making progress.

So, hopefully I am on the mend, as being chronically ill has taken its toll on me. It took me back to a time in my life where I was dominated by illness. I began to revisit those old feelings of helplessness, bitterness, anger, and fear. A firm believer in prayer and a person of faith, I really had no words to pray for myself. I was just frustrated! Why God Why?? When God When?? How GOd How?? What God What??

At the same time all of this was going on, my brother went through some things in his life which have led him to a 90 day rehab facility. While it is a blessing that he is finally getting some help, we are all aware of the very difficult road/mountain ahead of him. When one person in your family is an addict or an alcoholic, you can all be part of the problem and can also be a part of the solution.

I pray quite frequently for my brother, and I have for years. One day I was saying something like, "i know he's made a lot of mistakes and he doesn't always do the right thing..." and I thought, isn't that all of us?? I'm not a drug addict or an alcoholic, but I'm not sin-free either. I need God's forgiveness and grace daily. He sent His Son to die for me and He sent His Son to die for Tim. It gave me tremendous peace to know that while Tim is going to have a hard road ahead, the Lord will never leave his side.

So, things are getting better. Like my brother's rehab and my chronic pain, sometimes things have to get really bad before they get better. And isn't that how God works ? He really has to destroy things sometimes in order to begin repair. If we can just remember His promises to us, we can focus on the repair and let Him be in charge of the storms! It's all good.

June Buzzings

Summer just started, and already it's a whirlwind of activity. We just finished with Vacation Bible School, which was a blast! I had the privilege of being one of the photographers who captured all the fun. I enjoyed every moment of it except for not feeling all that great! The kids were so much fun and so cute too. I continue to be so impressed by how well everyone works together to make it such a great event. Definitely the WOW factor! We were all sad to see it end.

I have had some health issues for the past month or so, and they are finally being addressed. I have had some medication changes and will start PT this week. Hopefully all of those combined will get me some relief and some much-needed sleep!

My jury duty was a total disaster. I found out on Wednesday evening that I was supposed to show up on Thursday morning. Problem was, I hadn't been sleeping all week, and I had a migraine that lasted 3 days. I had a doc appointment for that very day, and no way was I going to miss it! So when I called with this information, I was treated like an ingrate! I was not given any amount of courtesy whatsoever. This did nothing for the way I was already feeling. Long story short, I had my doctor excuse me, then I find out my service obligation was finished on that Thursday. So, she treated me like garbage over a one day jury selection which turned out to be nothing. I will be sure to apply for her job one day, as I may not know a lot of things, but one thing I know is how people need to be treated. Golden Rule, Miss Jury Clerk. Golden Rule.

Because of my health, I haven't been able to help Steve with the patio we started a few weeks ago. It is looking F I N E fine! I feel bad that I can't do a lot to help, but he's taking it slow and doing a great job. I can't wait to have a party on it!

Steve had a nice father's day, with the girls cleaning his car inside and out! They bought him all kinds of nice treats and decorated a bin for his garage for "MANLY STUFF-NO GIRLY STUFF ALLOWED" They never cease to make him feel like a million bucks on a special day. We had a great dinner, visits with both our pops, and thanked our Father in Heaven for all of it!!

I'm still doing my scrapbook challenge with 2 friends. I have a layout to finish hopefully this week and get it sent off to Missouri. The girls are starting the reading program up at the library again, so costume plans and construction plans will be our focus for awhile. We have some camping to do, of course, and a whole list of things we want to do this summer. I hope to do them all, with time to also sit and relax on that new patio.

I'll try to check in again soon. Hope you're having a nice summer so far.

Signs of a "Grown Up"

I'm not getting any younger, and it's starting to show! Here are some of my most recent signs of "reaching adulthood".

1. I can no longer count my single gray hairs. They are now marrying and having "Duggar style" families.

2. My brain cells are decreasing, but my fat cells are multiplying. It makes no sense, but then why would it? My brain is shrinking.

3. I make this "ugh" sound when getting up from chairs, and forget about sitting on the floor!

4. I'm asking children how to run my computer, phone, and anything else tech-y.

5. My nightstand contains things only my Grandma would recognize.

6. I can no longer sleep in past 8, can't stay up until midnight, and fall asleep during good movies.

7. I read the nutrition labels on the food. Enough said.

8. I don't get the whole "Twilight" obsession. Read the book. Saw the movie. Still scratching my head.

9. I have bags under my eyes, and they are so not "Gucci".

10. I start every sentence with my kids...."Well, when I was a kid...." and watch them roll their eyes.

11. I also have saddlebags.....but strangely, no horse.

12. I am more interested in plants than fashion.

13. I recently saw a much older woman wearing a shirt I just bought. See #12

14. I am starting to hold reading material away from my face!

15. I am now seeing the result of years of tanning....Sunscreen, people!! Hear me!

16. I relate better to 45 year olds than 35 year olds.

17. I watch the news and drink coffee.

18. My husband and I have discussed retirement plans.

19. My husband and I have discussed being grandparents one day!

20. I am now too old for mini skirts, pigtails, ripped jeans, and shirts that say "hottie" on them.

21. I can finally afford the things I didn't have when I was young, but now I no longer want them!

See, getting older isn't all that bad. So I have to color some gray hair. Big deal. So I have a few aches and pains. So what. I'm wiser, smarter, and much better looking than I was at 20!


I think I like being a "grown up" after all!! Gotta go. My "arthur's" buggin' me.

Another Crazy Cottage Experience

We went up to the family cottage over Memorial weekend. It was the first time it was "opened up" for the season, so we knew to expect a surprise or two. A few mouse droppings here and there, a few bugs, that damp musty smell, an overgrown lawn...just typical stuff. I believe one of my very first blog posts was about a not-so-great trip to the lake. Anyway....

What we didn't prepare for was the tent worm invasion up north. There are several Maples in the front yard and they were absolutely covered in tent worms. We could literally hear them, chomping the leaves up, and when the wind would blow, it would "snow" chopped maple leaves. It was sad,really. After visiting several local yard sales (oh, man did we haul in some good deals!), we found that we were not alone in our dilemma. Apparently some spraying didn't go through on the ballot, so everyone was losing the battle with the tent worms. One made it's way down the front of my tank top, sending me into a frenzy, as witnessed by the men passing by in their boat. I really tried to keep my shirt on, and honestly, there isn't much to stop a wayward tent worm in there, but I couldn't get it out. They are probably still laughing about it somewhere.

So, the tent worms we were learning to live with, but the flies became another obvious battle. I have never seen so many flies! Of course, dad started in with one of his stories, "Well, you should have been in Harrisville in 1978....." Unfortunately, I was. We had absolutely gorgeous weather, but we couldn't sit outside without dousing ourselves in Yard Guard, which I'm sure is toxic, as I've grown a 3rd thumb since Monday.

We took our camper up there, which was really nice to have our own space. The girls wanted to sleep in the cottage with Gram and Gramps, so we had the place to ourselves. The first night I headed out there about 10pm, only to run the last few yards after hearing what sounded like 100 coyotes. Probably not close by, but tell that to someone with a really wild imagination. I just about fell trying to get in there so fast. Again, I'm pretty sure the 8 college boys across the lake witnessed the whole spectacle. Either that or they were laughing at the coyotes.

On the second night, someone decided to go 4 wheeling through the woods beside the cottage in a big ole loud truck. It was about 2am, and I had the camper window unzipped. When you awake to a sound like that, the first thought is that there's an airplane landing right on the camper, so I reacted accordingly. Enough said.

I have an intense ridiculous fear of spiders, so of course, I'm always on the lookout. I guess it should have been no surprise that they began to invade my precious camper....on my side of the bed. Of course. So, with Steve and the girls out fishing, I began to attempt to kill the spiders. Ridiculous fear, remember. I had nothing but a paper towel, so I waited for it to come out, then screamed as I yelled, "DIE DIE!!" Then yelped as I made my mark and wildly threw the paper towel with the carcus into the air. Breathing erratically, I looked around, waiting for the next attack. It came. They were everywhere! I got three, then looked out the window to see why no one was coming to my rescue. That's when I found out that the three men in the boat were directly across from the open bunk and could hear everything going on. I made sure to stay in there extra long until they couldn't see me make my escape. Anyway, I attempted to murder the last spider, but it was a jumper and made it into my bed between the mattress and the wall. Great. By then Steve was back in the cottage after a long exhausting fishing expedition.

I went into the cottage with my hair all askew, breathing like a mad woman, telling everyone what I had just been through. I went on and on, waiting for my prince charming to drop what he was doing and go get that spider. I finally got a little more blunt, and he impatiently stalked out to the camper saying "Geez!" under his breath. He just loves me so much. So we proceeded to tear apart the bed I had just made, throwing the sheets outside, removing the mattress and investigating the outside of the camper to find my 8 legged offender. Finally Steve went and got the bug spray and intoxicated the whole outside of the camper. He now has an eleventh toe, thanks to me. But no spiders. That's the important thing.

Serena decided to take a swim, so mom and I headed down to watch her, our fly swatters in hand. This is where we finally lost it. We were swatting ourselves, the air, the ground, the chairs, our drinks, each other! Serena finally looked up and said, "You should see how funny you guys look from here." Mom and I just busted up laughing hysterically, to the point where we couldn't even speak. Mom went to swat her chair, missed and hit her water cup, which flew up and sprayed water all over her face. She just lost it. My mom and I have something embarassing in common. When we get to laughing, we lose control and can easily start to cry. I was trying so hard to protect her from that, but she was making herself laugh!! It was just so stinkin' funny, I'm not kidding you.

On the good side, the fish were biting like crazy, so a fish fry has been planned for out here, in the screened gazebo! No flies allowed. Steve and I managed a trip to Traverse, looking for kayaks, and I told him again that I want to live there one day!! He just laughs at my passion for Traverse City!! I'm telling you, it's the best! We ate some great meals, as usual, and we continued our tradition of furniture burning by getting rid of a blue chair. We also bought another love seat and we now have seating for at least 8 people in the tiny living area. Nothing matches, but that's the fun of it!!

As we packed up to go, the flies were driving us nuts, it rained, so all of the outdoor stuff was wet. So fun. As we pulled away, our camper door flew open, and we just laughed. What more could go wrong anyway??

Ahh...another crazy Rogers vacation. Aren't you sad you missed all of that?? :)

Bloom Where You're Planted

Ever feel like your talents and abilities are going unnoticed? Maybe you try to get involved in stuff only to feel like you're a third, fourth, or fifth wheel? I think people can be really guilty of stereotyping others, therefore, missing out on all the gifts they have to offer. I have often put in good words for many people, only to hear back, "Oh, I don't know about asking that person..." What? Are you kidding me? It's so unfair. If someone wants to volunteer or you know someone who would do a great job, the last thing you do is decide to judge them. Who do they think they are anyway? Obviously I won't be specific, and specifics don't matter anyway.

I spent a lot of time volunteering over the years, and although I understand the whole concept of doing things for the Lord and not expecting anything from men, I'm sorry, I like to hear "thank you". It makes me feel better about leaving my family behind to give my time to someone else. I've had to learn that not everyone is worthy of that time, so some things go on the chopping block. My three at home come first,so I don't lose sleep over it! When I was responsible for getting volunteers for something, I made sure they felt valued and used in the best way according to their gifts. It took T I M E, but it was worth it. I haven't met anyone yet who doesn't like to be thanked. Those two words go a long way!

What I've learned is that where I thought I wanted to be or what I wanted to do was in fact not right for me at all. I'm still not sure where the right places are exactly, but I hope I'll know them when I see them. I have gifts to share, and I plan to use them, but I've also learned to just bloom wherever I'm planted. That could mean a lot of different things that I didn't volunteer for. I've noticed that I've developed my gift of encouragement even more by helping people with various situations. My husband pointed that out to me one day when he said, "You can tell what people think of you when you're the first they call for help." I'd never thought of it that way, but I felt really good being able to use my gift of both encouragement and wisdom. I don't really need a "volunteer position" for that at all.

I guess my point is that we shouldn't overlook what people have to offer just because we have certain opinions of that person. In the end, God will make sure our opinions don't count when He's trying to get something done with one of His kids. And if you're in the way of that? Watch out. You just might find yourself in clean up duty!!

Happy Blooming!

Summer "Beauty"

Patty and I were chatting recently about the dread we feel when we hear the words "bathing suit". We decided in order to cover anything sufficiently, we should wear a scuba suit. We joked about those matronly skirty flowery solid cup suits our mothers used to wear and decided we'd never wear those. We talked about our bikini days and that they are way over! (a good thing) We joked about public beaches and thongs...not being judgmental, of course. I'll get to that thong issue in a bit. So, Patty's suit of choice is a dark colored one piece, covered by a tee shirt and shorts. Yes, she swims in the whole ensemble. In her backyard pool even! My suit of choice is a lime green and turquoise athletic looking tank and boxer short dealy. Nothing clingy, nothing revealing, nothing escaping anywhere. A great country-girl-tan-line-creating jobby. Whooooooeeeee doggies!

We discussed these crazy bikini waxes and the fact that our "bikini" areas aren't for public view in the first place, so why should they receive all of that attention anyway?? Aren't those for bikinis? The ones we aren't wearing? I don't go around checking to see who has waxed and who hasn't, so whoever is putting themselves through that useless torture...stop it right now!! Some women are such babies about pain, yet will pay someone to torture their most private region. The silly things people do for so-called "beauty"!

Bras are another source of contention, whether you have a little (like me) or a bit more (like Patty). Does anyone really know what size they really are? They're as bad as jeans. We believe bras are designed by men who don't wear them. Underwires are painful, padding restricts air flow, and we won't even get into those crazy gel contraptions. So I'm trying to suggest a bra to Patty, and I mention those Playtex commercials which allow the twins to "breathe". She just cracked up laughing. We crack up over all those bra commercials anyway. I mean, how can a 110 pound person have a 90 pound chest? I just can't help myself today. I say forget all about that sizing stuff. Forget about going to specialty bra stores. Just put on your old boulder holder, stand in front of a big fan and let your hair blow back. You will look better already.

Self tanning creams. Another great invention which started with an old product called "QT" for "quick tan". Well, it should have been called "QO" for "quick orange" because there was no tan involved in the use of that product at all. So, we use these products to make us look brown, right? Because, of course, looking your own color is somehow not attractive, right? See how bad it sounds when put that way?? We walk around looking like orange dream pops, but smelling like old cheese, just to look tan. Let's all prance around looking pretty and "sun-kissed", but don't get near us because we stink like all get out. Face it, we're not in California and we shouldn't look it either!!

Okay, did you think I'd go right over the thong thing? Don't get all mad at me if you are a thongie, either. I truly don't care what you wear under your clothes. So, I've asked people what the whole point of thong underwear is. I get the response, "No panty lines." Oh, because panty lines are worse than what...cottage cheese butt and saggy baggy buns? What on earth is holding up your buns with that strip of floss there in the middle? Nothing! So, we may not see your panty lines, but we can see cottage cheese, not that we're looking. Don't give me the whole "but it's comfortable" kind of thing. I will not believe one bit of it. If you enjoy wedgies and all that comes with that, then hey, I say, live and let live. Just know that we are onto you. We know what you're wearing (and not). No panty lines, and no secrets, Sherlock.

We used to do some crazy summer rituals in search of the "Summer Beauty" and most of them led to less than desirable results. Like "Sun-In", that is supposed to put summery blonde highlights in your hair. Or red, but the bottle never tells you that! We used baby oil to get the deepest tans too. (Burns, it turned out).

Anyway, I'll give you a real tip for this summer, and it actually works! It all started when I found my stash of all those little blue tubes of hair conditioner that come with my Clairol kit. I like the smell of it, so I started using it like shaving cream! It works great! Know what else works great for summer beauty?? Accepting your light skin, freckles, cottage cheese butt, wrinkles, puffy tummy, bikini areas, and other things we work to hide. Love it all cuz it's all you got!!

Happy summer, beauty!!