If I Was A Coach...

Natalie is done with Volleyball! The girls were number one in their conference, but lost quickly in tournaments Monday night. All these times of sitting through basketball and Volleyball games, and soon to be basketball again, lots of things go through my mind.

We have "Pay to Play" athletics, which means a $50 fee for each girl to play. Add to that the equipment needed, plus the (optional, but every girl wants them to fit in)warm-ups, team photos, and all the Powerade, and it can get expensive. Practice was every day for 2 hours, which means getting them there and getting them back, all the while trying to work or care for other kids in the family. Then there is the driving back and forth to all these schools, which are not in close proximity to ours. The games start at 4:30. Not very convenient for most families. A parent has to take time off to come to the games, and hopes to be able to watch their daughter play. Hopes.

Every girl signs a contract that says she will work her hardest at practice, knowing that her hard work will determine her play time. Hmmm....maybe I should have attended EVERY practice, because it seems to me that quite a few of the same girls spent most of their game time on the bench. Maybe I don't have enough inside information, but I continued to feel for the girls who didn't get as much time to play. I just believe that at this age, everyone should get a chance to learn and experience what it's like to be part of a team. I think at ANY age, kids should be able to play when they've signed up, paid, and practiced just like everyone else.

Now before you think I'm "one of those mothers", I didn't expect Natalie to play EVERY game. In fact, I didn't expect ANY of the girls to have that advantage. What I was hoping for was to see ALL of the girls have their moment. My girl had plenty of play time, and with 14 girls, and only 6 playing at a time, I didn't feel she should be out there more than anyone else. You know, I was being fair. What I see when I look at those 12 year old girls is myself at that age. I didn't want them to be discouraged! I wanted them to believe in themselves. I wanted them to learn the game. They can't do that while sitting. No one could.

I have nothing mean to say about her coach, don't get me wrong. She did a fine job with the girls. I just wanted to see less emphasis on winning, and more emphasis on every girl getting an opportunity to play, serve, and contribute. Maybe it's easier said than done, and that's why I don't want to throw the coach under the bus. I really don't. Natalie worked very well with her, and I know she put a lot of time and effort into teaching the girls. I look at many of these girls like a mother, not a coach, so my view is a bit different.

I was discouraged that the girls lost so easily last night, but the truth is, they didn't work hard enough to win. That's an important lesson too! I would like to think that if I was a coach, I would implement the things that I feel are important to every girl out there. Being able to be part of a team is something special. It's earned, yes, but lots of skill levels can earn that privilege. The girl who can't serve, the girl who just struggles, the girl who hits like a champ. They all deserve to be there, to be counted, to feel like they can accomplish something too. If they are putting forth THEIR best effort, then it should be good enough. It's good enough everywhere else, isn't it?? Why not sports?

Well, what ABOUT winning? What about being first? What's wrong with competition? What's wrong with playing your so-called "best" players all the time and leaving the rest out? What if YOUR kid was the one sitting out and YOU were the one driving an hour to watch them warm the bench? What if YOU spent all that money on soccer equipment and your kid played 5 minutes all season? Is it REALLY possible to put your heart into coaching without becoming TOO soft? I really think so!! Especially for these young kids just starting sports.

I heard a story the other day about 4 year olds playing soccer, and it just curled my toes! So, the team was playing this very skilled team (for 4 year olds) who is being coached by an obsessed dad. His team was WAY ahead of the opposing team, yet continued to tell his players to drive that ball, run hard, and they were knocking kids down to do it. The score was ridiculous. I think scoring is ridiculous at that age to begin with, but the losing team went home feeling pretty lousy. 4 years old. I thought it was supposed to be fun!!! What kind of precedent does that set? I just can't stand it.

Well, if I was a coach, we'd play fair. We'd play the best we could and we'd ALL play! Winning and losing would include the whole team. All the ones who practiced. All the ones who worked hard. ALl the ones who paid, showed up, and brought parents to watch!! I would probably be criticized, for sure, because some parents care way too much about winning, even when their kids don't!! But I'd be happy, and my team would be too! And isn't that what it's all about anyway??