Life Begins Again and Again

"I'm not 40-something. I'm $36.54 plus shipping and handling."

Lately, I've noticed something good about entering my 40's. I have really mellowed about some things, and become more passionate about others. For instance, I don't get all rattled about everything I hear on TV, particularly politics. I am finding that reacting to everything that "talking heads" say about what "they think" is a waste of my time.

However, trying to seek out valuable relationships and friendships has made it to the top of my list. Maybe it's not such a great thing, but my patience has worn thin on relationships that offer nothing more than satisfying their curiosity about something. I'm done feeling empty after talking to someone. I'm done trying to pour into someone's life who has no need for a place in mine. Is that bad? Maybe. I'm a bit tired of taking on the attached guilt as well! Gone are the days of white-knuckling it, accepting other people's "stuff", while my "stuff" is still under a microscope. While I have forgiven and moved on, you're still stuck in the past. I guess at 41, I don't have the time I had when I was 31 for all the nonsense. Life is short. I guess I need to work on letting it all go and not letting any of it stick. As you can see, it is hard to have a Godly attitude sometimes, and yet there will be someone who will be quick to judge me for that too. Good thing I don't write to impress, right?

I was told recently by someone that I say the things on my blog that she would like to say. Honestly, I think more people should just say them. Carefully and mindfully, say them. If it doesn't matter, don't say it at all. And know when to let go of the grudge you carry for the person who said something you didn't agree with or like. What a world it would be to see that kind of maturity take place. How many relationships could be renewed by that kind of "pass" and understanding? Truth may hurt, but there is no substitute for honesty. It takes a courageous person to be honest with you and face the consequences and subsequent fallout. I have spent a lifetime with a friend who candycoats everything. It has put me in a position of never being able to be open with her. She would get very angry, though you would think time served would count for something. It doesn't if you haven't had an authentic relationship. I know that was a lot to say and I didn't plan to elaborate on it. I keep adding stuff as I read this back. Must be important to someone, I guess. Probably me, as this is a time in my life that I want my relationships to count for something. I want to know who has my back, and lately, I'm just not sure about that.

It is nice to be loved for the simple things....maybe you're just nice. Not that you're the right political offiliation or you belong to the same group, go to the same class, have the same age kids, play the same sport, like the same music. One of my best friends has so little in common with me, and yet accepts me and knows me better than the oldest friend I have! That's a cool thing to me, and I value that. I value that I don't have to "be" anyone other than me to be her friend. I get her time of day because she sees value in me and the things I say, and I for her.

So while relationships are important to me, it doesn't take a village full of them to make my life full. I believe God will bring the right people in my life and enable me to be the best person I can be in order to keep those relationships healthy. I also believe that He will do some sponging off of the relationships that aren't serving either one of us well.

I'm over 40, yet feel like in so many ways my life is at a renewal phase. It's time to shake off some old and find some new. Maybe it's the "new" me who could use a new friend. The old me may not have been ready. Who knows. God works favor in my life every day, and this will be interesting to see how it all unfolds.

Life begins at 40? It's starting to make a bit of sense now. Life begins again and again.