Day Seventeen

Well, I did it! I managed to last 17 (today is day 18) days on the 17 day diet! It was NOT easy at all at first! I still wouldn't call it "easy" by any stretch, but then again, any diet isn't easy!

I had a few goals in mind when starting this latest diet of mine. One, of course, to lose weight. We are getting a pool and I want to be able to wear a swimsuit. We also have a wedding in July and I'd like to wear my dress without the Spanx! So, I had 2 motivating factors, but also realized they were short term motivators. In the past, I have dieted toward my goal, then fell off the wagon once the event was over. Big mistake.

Secondly, I have some health issues that seem to improve when I lose weight and eat healthy. Carrying even 20 extra pounds is hard on your joints, especially if you have arthritis or any other "itis", like I do. I also have a little heart "thing" that makes it harder for me to breathe comfortably at times. Because of the lack of oxygen, I can get more migraines, lose sleep, become fatigued, and get pretty grouchy. So, there are my long term motivators, and while it would make perfect sense to stay on the course, I do forget these things when temptation takes over.

Let's not overlook the third reason I wanted to lose weight. I'm nearing those menopausal years I hear so much about, and all I hear is one day you wake up and you have no waist. You gain weight and get crabby. You sweat constantly, and on and on. Really? Do I want to do that while being overweight too? I know me. I would be a basket case. Coping skills go out the window sometimes!

Are those good enough reasons to lose weight? I believe so. And while the reasons are valid, I know the risk of going back to my old habits and giving up altogether. Why do I do that anyway? Why do any of us do that?

One good example is my recent trip to the mailbox, where I opened yet another (3rd one in 5 years) jury duty questionnaire. I flipped. I haven't even filled it out and already I'm having a panic attack in the driveway. I almost cried. It's silly to you, but the various ramifications of serving would make my life extremely difficult. I have no one to take care of my dog. No one. I still struggle with frequent migraines. I've said it before, but I have very little personal freedom right now. It is what it is and that's fine until these things happen. So, my point was that my first reaction upon seeing that familiar "randomly chosen" piece of mail was "what can I eat to make me feel better about this?"

So if I'm stuffing my emotions with food, aren't I like any addict, trying to recover on their own? Isn't food just like the cigarette, the drug, the drink? Doesn't it take the place of the emotion we're supposed to be feeling naturally? And mostly, doesn't it numb the pain so we don't have to face it? In my case, I find that to be true. My former "3 cupcake a day" habit may seem piddly to some people, but for me, that's a lot of cake! And it gives me a headache to eat all that sugar too!

Are you now wondering just how much one loses in 17 days on this diet? Well, I lost approximately a half pound a day, making my grand total 8 pounds. That's not too bad, and I'm not starving. I'm craving junk food still, but trying to replace that habit with new ones, like fruit for one.
Today is the beginning of Cycle 2, which is another 17 days, adding in some carbs and whole grains. I will alternate Cycle one with cycle two, tricking my metabolism to burn, baby, burn. If I hit a plateau, I will return to Cycle one for another 17 days. When I get to my goal, I go directly to Cycle 4, which helps me to maintain. The bottom line of this and any diet is simple. If you are overweight, you will always be on a diet. You can call it whatever you want, but you will never return to the old habits and get away with it! Reality check, right??

And it seems with my lack of food medication, I have had to deal with some open face issues a little more painfully. Well, that's how we grow on the inside without growing on the outside, at least that's the way I look at it.