Parenting "Whoa.....s"!

I guess I have forgotten what it was like to be eleven, because my youngest daughter seems more foreign to me every day! That girl is just a bundle of impulses, energy, surprises, and lots of independence. And to all of that, I say, "WHOA!"

I don't want to say I've been frustrated with her, because that would be so "un-motherly", wouldn't it? Baloney! We're all frustrated with our kids at some points in their lives. It's not their fault, they're just trying to grow up in a great big world. Maybe that's the problem. As parents, we're constantly in a tug-of-war over just how much of that world we want our kids to know. Hold them too tight, you squeeze the life out of them, let go too soon and like a balloon, they're gone.

Yesterday was just one thing after another, starting with my instructions to Serena before school. It was simple and it went like this: "Today is field day. DO NOT forget to put on the sunscreen, which is in this tube and in your bag. DO NOT forget it! You are irish. You will fry like a potato chip!" To that I get the normal rushed, hurried Serena-ish reply, "Yeah, yeah, I know, I will, I will."

When I picked my pale-skinned child up from school that afternoon, she was no longer the pale-ish white of our irish ancestors, but a bright and lobsterish version of a child who didn't listen to her mother. It was hard for me to contain myself and I unleashed a lecture to her all the way to Lewis Road. As usual, I got her canned excuses of "I forgot", "I didn't have time", "they were telling us to hurry", all of which failed as good reasons to forget your sunscreen while sitting on metal bleachers in the hot sun for hours.

Of course, I gave her the "skin cancer" talk, the "being responsible" talk, the "why don't you listen to me?" talk. Why do I feel those talks went in about 1 centimeter and no further? Because we will most likely have this discussion again. Probably tomorrow.

The child has her own agenda, and I'm assuming by the repeat offender nature, our consequences haven't been severe enough. You'd think having a monster sunburn would motivate a person. Not when you're eleven, apparently. I love her free spirit, I really do. She reminds me a bit of me as a youngster, when I feared nothing except the wrath of my parents. I guess I'm not wrathy enough for this eleven year old copy of me.

So, last night I told her to find something loose and comfortable to wear to school as it was going to be 93 and humid today. I said, perhaps capris would be a good idea and a loose tee shirt. Like it mattered what I said.
She came downstairs for breakfast in skinny jeans. Skinny jeans on burned shins! Add to that a nice hefty sweatshirt! Oh, we need to have the ears checked, I think, or put me in a loony bin. Probably both.

Knowing my daughter as I do, I know that the jeans and sweatshirt were for vanity reasons. She felt so embarrassed for not putting on sunscreen and getting burned that she didn't want anyone at school to see her burn and make a big deal out of it. It doesn't help that it looks like she's wearing bright pink knee high socks! Oh, dear Serena..... The school will probably call me, telling me she passed out or something. That's just the way she rolls.

And because I love her and can somewhat relate at times, I will just roll with her. But I won't stop trying to pull the reins and yell out a hefty, "WHOA, girl!" now and then.