Country living. When you say it, you think of magazine-perfect settings. Horses grazing, flowers in bloom, pretty girls in straw hats, and clear streams. What those magazines don't show you is the real country in the living. Critters. Big ones. Little ones. Furry ones. Hungry ones. Slithering ones. Everywhere!
We seem to have grill-happy mice this year. Little gray mice keep trying to make nests in the cabinet under our grill. When I foolishly left the pool cover on the sunny part of the deck for a day and a half, a mouse had already built a mansion-size nest under it! Grosssss!!!
I think the same 2 snakes have lived in the corner by our satellite dish for the past 5 years. I'm not kidding. My dad came over one day and said, "hey, I wonder if those snakes are still over there from when we worked on that siding." He and Steve walked over, and I heard them both stifle themselves, knowing if I heard them, I'd flip out. "Steve, did you see one over there?" I boldly commanded my answer. "No. I didn't see one over there." "Tell me the truth. Is there a snake over there?" "No", he persisted, "there is not a snake over there." "Dad, is there a snake over there?" My dad can't lie to me. "No. Honey, there is not a snake over there. There are TWO snakes over there." Men.
We had a beautiful patch of both bush beans and pole beans this year. That is until one day the leaves resembled lace curtains. What?? I then discovered hundreds, if not thousands of disgusting little beetles, chomping away at our harvest. I don't like pesticides, and it was just too far gone. Goodbye beans. Hello country life.
We have 21 tomato plants, and I was excited to finally have one ready to pick. As soon as I touched it, I knew. Blossom rot. UGH!! Could it be all 21 plants are affected? Yes, it's possible. No one told me to put Epsom salts in the soil when I planted them. Thanks for the late tip, dad. I'll see you in YOUR tomato patch.
Ants. Does anyone else have an army load of ants?? First they were in the house, now they're all over the lawn. They are all over my landscaping, in my flowers, in the driveway...it's the invasion of the ants....a whole new plague!! And it's downright yukky.
And who knew horseflies could be that big? There is one waiting for me every day when I walk to the mailbox. He buzzes and flies around and around my head, driving me nuts. I swat and smack, ending up hitting myself in the face, dropping my mail, and hurting my shoulder. The fly just kept on going. One for the fly. Zero for me.
Am I really cut out for this? Can you ever take the city out of the girl? I don't know for sure just yet. Six years in the country, and I'm still clapping my hands in the woods to scare away the oogy boogys. And FYI, it doesn't even work! I'm always the one to find the snakes before anyone else!
And while I'm not really afraid of squirrels, turkeys, birds, and chipmunks, they do tend to startle me when they get too close. One day I was sneaking up on a chipmunk when he suddenly turned and ran toward me. I nearly killed myself trying to run away. I know I heard him laughing as he ran to tell all of his friends where they could find a good mark.
Ah, country living. So relaxing. Birds chirping, bees humming. Me screaming. Yeah, it's a good life.
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