I have to say that though some of my posts are lengthy, I often have a hard time coming up with something to share. The whole point of my blog is to share what happens in my "neighborhood". Those things being real life situations that affect me or my family. The fact that things can seem one way, but they are actually another. Whether it's spiritual, physical, emotional, educational, relational, parental, or any other "-al", I try to be honest in sharing life as I know it. Sometimes life is just uneventful!
And life is a bit like that right now. The deer are coming in every day, my three favorite Tom turkeys (Butterball, Honey, and MacNugget) have been keeping me entertained daily. The birds are everywhere, and I'm enjoying the sun when it chooses to shine. The kids are doing their thing, Steve is busy with his, I clean and do laundry and try to exercise. Boring. But it's my life all the same.
And somewhere there is peace in knowing all my boringness and frustration and fatigue is because I'm alive with a busy family.
Therein lies my blessing! And there is my joy.
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Monday, February 27, 2012
The Circle of Life
In the last week, we've had so many ups and downs. Not necessarily all our own, but when someone you care about is going through a tough time, everyone who loves them feels their pain. One of our friends had an accident, a family member is having surgery today, and some of our church family is going through some tough stuff yet this week. I try so hard not to mention names out of privacy respect, but if you're a prayer warrior, you don't need names to pray! And you don't need all the details in order to care!
So I spent my morning prayer time praying for these needs, and realized how heavy it was making me feel. I had to stop and remember how very Big our God is, and that we are not to be burdened with these things. We are to place our hope, faith, and trust in His ability!! I ended my prayer being reassured that God is in fact in control and I don't need to worry. Whew!
Our weekend was so much fun with our basketball-wielding girls! Natalie's 8th grade team played in their final tournament and guess what?? They won! Coach presented them with engraved medals right after the game, having been the first middle school team in school history to have gone undefeated 2 years in a row. What an honor it was for all of our girls, who worked so hard for it. We then made another long trek to catch Serena's last game of her season. Serena played well and looked to be having a really good time. She towers over the other girls, and so she usually scores on her own rebounds! SO much fun to watch her smile while she's running down the court. Even better to watch her stop and pick up a fallen teammate. I love that she's learning about good sportsmanship so early. I guess she has a great teacher, her Coach-Dad! :)
After running around all day on Saturday, we took a much-needed break on Sunday. Steve cooked, Serena made dessert, I took a nap, Natalie played her guitar. The girls have been re-watching all of our old Disney movies, which has been really fun, and a bit of a reflection on our past. I walked past my dear family sitting on the couch watching The Lion King, and I flashed back on 2 little girls, fresh from their bath, sitting on Daddy's lap in front of their favorite movie. It's a bit different now, of course! Serena's almost as tall as her dad!
Life is good. It's a circle of ups and downs, but it's always good!
So I spent my morning prayer time praying for these needs, and realized how heavy it was making me feel. I had to stop and remember how very Big our God is, and that we are not to be burdened with these things. We are to place our hope, faith, and trust in His ability!! I ended my prayer being reassured that God is in fact in control and I don't need to worry. Whew!
Our weekend was so much fun with our basketball-wielding girls! Natalie's 8th grade team played in their final tournament and guess what?? They won! Coach presented them with engraved medals right after the game, having been the first middle school team in school history to have gone undefeated 2 years in a row. What an honor it was for all of our girls, who worked so hard for it. We then made another long trek to catch Serena's last game of her season. Serena played well and looked to be having a really good time. She towers over the other girls, and so she usually scores on her own rebounds! SO much fun to watch her smile while she's running down the court. Even better to watch her stop and pick up a fallen teammate. I love that she's learning about good sportsmanship so early. I guess she has a great teacher, her Coach-Dad! :)
After running around all day on Saturday, we took a much-needed break on Sunday. Steve cooked, Serena made dessert, I took a nap, Natalie played her guitar. The girls have been re-watching all of our old Disney movies, which has been really fun, and a bit of a reflection on our past. I walked past my dear family sitting on the couch watching The Lion King, and I flashed back on 2 little girls, fresh from their bath, sitting on Daddy's lap in front of their favorite movie. It's a bit different now, of course! Serena's almost as tall as her dad!
Life is good. It's a circle of ups and downs, but it's always good!
Thursday, February 23, 2012
Life Salad
My life is like a salad. In fact, yours probably is too! So many ingredients, some sweet, some sour. Sometimes tasty, sometimes a bit off. I was just thinking of what to post and I have a little bit of everything. So here's my salad, in no particular order. It's a sweet salad today!
*Natalie turned 14 and we celebrated 4 days after with grandparents. I made her a neon green electric guitar cake and she loved it!
*The 8th grade girls scrimmaged the 8th grade boys yesterday. The boys have come a long way since their season..taller too. They won by 4 points and left with their egos intact. :)Fun game to watch.
*Natalie placed second in the "America & Me" Essay contest. She wrote about her Michigan Hero, who will remain nameless at this time. And no, it's not me. I will share later, with permission.
*Serena recently completed a school project, which involved making a book of regional recipes and presenting a recipe to her class. She made Southern Banana Pudding and it was a hit. She loves to cook and she bakes like a pro!
*Natalie is practicing singing with the book she got for her birthday. The exercises are pretty funny. I heard her doing them after 10pm last night and had to tell my little bird to get to bed!
*Serena tried out a new laugh at school and it was so ridiculous that her friend just stopped and stared at her. Serena said, "trying out a new laugh...what do you think" Friend says, "not working for ya". :)
* Natalie claims she laughs like me. So I tried in vain to disguise my laugh by laughing a bunch of different ways. We got to laughing so hard that Nat and I ended up laughing like crazy....exactly the same way!!
*Steve has been working and traveling a lot! Lots going on at work, so we try to make home a really upbeat place to be for him to walk into at night. It makes for some interesting stuff. Wouldn't you like to be a fly on our wall??
So that's just a bite of my Life Salad. At least for today. HAPPY chewing. Oops. Hit the cap lock. Hate it when that happens. I am NOT screaming at you.
*Natalie turned 14 and we celebrated 4 days after with grandparents. I made her a neon green electric guitar cake and she loved it!
*The 8th grade girls scrimmaged the 8th grade boys yesterday. The boys have come a long way since their season..taller too. They won by 4 points and left with their egos intact. :)Fun game to watch.
*Natalie placed second in the "America & Me" Essay contest. She wrote about her Michigan Hero, who will remain nameless at this time. And no, it's not me. I will share later, with permission.
*Serena recently completed a school project, which involved making a book of regional recipes and presenting a recipe to her class. She made Southern Banana Pudding and it was a hit. She loves to cook and she bakes like a pro!
*Natalie is practicing singing with the book she got for her birthday. The exercises are pretty funny. I heard her doing them after 10pm last night and had to tell my little bird to get to bed!
*Serena tried out a new laugh at school and it was so ridiculous that her friend just stopped and stared at her. Serena said, "trying out a new laugh...what do you think" Friend says, "not working for ya". :)
* Natalie claims she laughs like me. So I tried in vain to disguise my laugh by laughing a bunch of different ways. We got to laughing so hard that Nat and I ended up laughing like crazy....exactly the same way!!
*Steve has been working and traveling a lot! Lots going on at work, so we try to make home a really upbeat place to be for him to walk into at night. It makes for some interesting stuff. Wouldn't you like to be a fly on our wall??
So that's just a bite of my Life Salad. At least for today. HAPPY chewing. Oops. Hit the cap lock. Hate it when that happens. I am NOT screaming at you.
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
Undisciplined
A friend called me last night, nearly in tears. She went on to describe a situation that has been happening to her, and it mirrored the very thing I have been dealing with for months now. Same type of situation, same person even! It forced me to ask myself and God, "What are we supposed to do with this? What is wrong with this person? When will this go away?" I'm still scratching my head over it.
The truth is, people who are out of control, undisciplined, and "in the flesh" can make life miserable for others. Perhaps the most miserable person is the one committing the act in the first place. I have to remind myself to pray for this person, because if I didn't, my complete frustration may cause my mouth to run....undisciplined, out of control, and in the flesh. It's a trap and a test to have these people in our lives, it really is. But can we pass it, unscathed? That remains to be seen, that's why I can't do it without God. And neither can my friend, who is now the target of this other person's needless wrath and attacks. Whose lesson is this anyway...mine or this person's? Believe me, I'm trying to learn things, but I don't feel any better about it, and now others are feeling the same way. What a mess.
I had someone recently tell me that anger can be a good thing. It's what can empower us to take on an injustice, or a protection for someone else. If that's the case, I wonder just how it works when it's so personal. You can't write your senator, stage a demonstration, withhold support, etc... because you're dealing with a person you may see every day. It seems anything we do about it only leads to more attacks because you're dealing with someone who is being unreasonable. It feels like arguing with someone who is holding a gun to your head. You just don't do it.
So, I'm going to keep praying about this, and have faith that all of these things are happening so that this person can be changed. I have to have faith or I'd go completely nuts!
Ugh...so very frustrated today....
The truth is, people who are out of control, undisciplined, and "in the flesh" can make life miserable for others. Perhaps the most miserable person is the one committing the act in the first place. I have to remind myself to pray for this person, because if I didn't, my complete frustration may cause my mouth to run....undisciplined, out of control, and in the flesh. It's a trap and a test to have these people in our lives, it really is. But can we pass it, unscathed? That remains to be seen, that's why I can't do it without God. And neither can my friend, who is now the target of this other person's needless wrath and attacks. Whose lesson is this anyway...mine or this person's? Believe me, I'm trying to learn things, but I don't feel any better about it, and now others are feeling the same way. What a mess.
I had someone recently tell me that anger can be a good thing. It's what can empower us to take on an injustice, or a protection for someone else. If that's the case, I wonder just how it works when it's so personal. You can't write your senator, stage a demonstration, withhold support, etc... because you're dealing with a person you may see every day. It seems anything we do about it only leads to more attacks because you're dealing with someone who is being unreasonable. It feels like arguing with someone who is holding a gun to your head. You just don't do it.
So, I'm going to keep praying about this, and have faith that all of these things are happening so that this person can be changed. I have to have faith or I'd go completely nuts!
Ugh...so very frustrated today....
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
Twelve, but Wise
Serena said something so profound to me the other day after school. I guess some girls were bickering about something and she got herself out of the way and over to some other friends. It wasn't the first time she has had to remove herself from a brewing situation at school and it won't be the last, I'm sure. There have been a lot of arguments at school lately, and they all seem to be fanned by a parent who can't seem to get him/her self under control, making it worse for not only the daughter, but the class as well. Might be my opinion, but I'm not alone in thinking it, and frankly, it's just been quite annoying, to say the least.
She said to me: "Mom, if other parents would just teach their kids the Golden Rule, none of this would ever happen." Then she added, "And if kids would just stop reacting to everything they hear, no one would fight!"
Did she just hit the nail on the head, or what? She has started her own campaign of "just walk away", and it's working for her. As soon as she even suspects something might be going on, she simply walks away. The other day, she was leaving a big group and her principal asked her what was wrong. She said, "nothing. I'm walking away before it gets wrong." WISDOM we can all learn from!!
She has also been doing a "I don't wanna hear this..." campaign by asking her classmates not to tell her gossip or involve her in their disputes. Wow. If you can do that as a kid, you should be able to do that as an adult!! Her friends have respected her enough to keep her out of their issues. I have seen a much happier daughter! The cool thing is, she's getting closer to a couple of other girls who don't seem to argue so much with others.
I just wish some adults were as wise and smart as she is showing herself to be. Don't get involved in everyone's disputes, treat others the way you want to be treated, don't listen to or repeat gossip, and BE KIND.
On our whiteboard by the back door is the statement the kids are learning at kids church:
DISCIPLES OF JESUS SHOW KINDNESS TO OTHERS, EVEN IF THEY DON'T DESERVE IT!!
Oh, thank you, Miss A, for drilling that into my head that day!!
She said to me: "Mom, if other parents would just teach their kids the Golden Rule, none of this would ever happen." Then she added, "And if kids would just stop reacting to everything they hear, no one would fight!"
Did she just hit the nail on the head, or what? She has started her own campaign of "just walk away", and it's working for her. As soon as she even suspects something might be going on, she simply walks away. The other day, she was leaving a big group and her principal asked her what was wrong. She said, "nothing. I'm walking away before it gets wrong." WISDOM we can all learn from!!
She has also been doing a "I don't wanna hear this..." campaign by asking her classmates not to tell her gossip or involve her in their disputes. Wow. If you can do that as a kid, you should be able to do that as an adult!! Her friends have respected her enough to keep her out of their issues. I have seen a much happier daughter! The cool thing is, she's getting closer to a couple of other girls who don't seem to argue so much with others.
I just wish some adults were as wise and smart as she is showing herself to be. Don't get involved in everyone's disputes, treat others the way you want to be treated, don't listen to or repeat gossip, and BE KIND.
On our whiteboard by the back door is the statement the kids are learning at kids church:
DISCIPLES OF JESUS SHOW KINDNESS TO OTHERS, EVEN IF THEY DON'T DESERVE IT!!
Oh, thank you, Miss A, for drilling that into my head that day!!
Monday, February 20, 2012
YES
I urge you, brothers, to watch out for those who cause divisions and put obstacles in your way that are contrary to the teaching you have learned. Keep away from them. For such people are not serving our Lord Christ, but their own appetites. By smooth talk and flattery they deceive the minds of naive people. ROMANS 16:17
Funny how I had a whole blog post ready in my mind, and when I looked up some scripture, this is the one that stood out to me. I don't need to add anything to that at all. Funny how this scripture describes exactly how I have felt in the presence of so-called Christians at different times, and how I have been that "naive" person and have been deceived.
It's probably best I don't share my feelings at this time,as Scripture would probably not back it up! So instead I will say this:
YES to Pastor Dave!!
NO to hypocrites!!
YES to God!
NO to the distractions!
YES to being blessed by an awesome God, no matter what happens in the confines of a building. (which belongs to HIM in the first place)
Funny how I had a whole blog post ready in my mind, and when I looked up some scripture, this is the one that stood out to me. I don't need to add anything to that at all. Funny how this scripture describes exactly how I have felt in the presence of so-called Christians at different times, and how I have been that "naive" person and have been deceived.
It's probably best I don't share my feelings at this time,as Scripture would probably not back it up! So instead I will say this:
YES to Pastor Dave!!
NO to hypocrites!!
YES to God!
NO to the distractions!
YES to being blessed by an awesome God, no matter what happens in the confines of a building. (which belongs to HIM in the first place)
Friday, February 17, 2012
Swish
We're still in the thickets of basketball, at least for another week. Serena is still going strong and using her height and speed to her team's advantage! She can really hold her own out there. It's so fun to watch her find her strength! Natalie has been doing so well too. Her coach put her on the starting line up on Monday night! Due to a snafu, the game began much earlier than usual, so we actually missed the beginning....AND her super basket she made just before we arrived! She started getting fouled more...a good sign, I suppose. That means she's doing good stuff! She did great on her free throws. It has been a real joy to watch her develop. That one just doesn't give up...ever! I love that about her.
And speaking of Natalie, she spent her 14th birthday on the basketball court, winning the last game of their season...undefeated for the second year in a row! They head to tournaments next weekend. It will be an exciting time, but after that, we are gonna relax!
Although I just made it sound like a great week, it hasn't been all that great! I came down with a nasty cold on Tuesday morning, so trying to do all I needed to do this week was one big fat runny challenge! Oh well. I've had worse things happen, I suppose. My patience is just running a little thin these days...various buttons being pressed!
Even so, I'm so thankful for God's love. I thanked Him just this morning for getting me through another week and for the way he "beckons me with his love and care." I just keep going back for more!
Have a good weekend! I'll be in the stands enjoying mine...with "bleacher bottom". :)
And speaking of Natalie, she spent her 14th birthday on the basketball court, winning the last game of their season...undefeated for the second year in a row! They head to tournaments next weekend. It will be an exciting time, but after that, we are gonna relax!
Although I just made it sound like a great week, it hasn't been all that great! I came down with a nasty cold on Tuesday morning, so trying to do all I needed to do this week was one big fat runny challenge! Oh well. I've had worse things happen, I suppose. My patience is just running a little thin these days...various buttons being pressed!
Even so, I'm so thankful for God's love. I thanked Him just this morning for getting me through another week and for the way he "beckons me with his love and care." I just keep going back for more!
Have a good weekend! I'll be in the stands enjoying mine...with "bleacher bottom". :)
Thursday, February 9, 2012
Number Eleven
I think God is a big basketball fan. I really do. He has been to all of the girls' games...even a scrimmage! He has sat and cheered with us, for sure, but I think he whispers to the coach too! :)
Each game, I've told you before, I pray for the girls. I always pray for Natalie to have "a moment", and I don't care what it is. The fun part is watching to see what that moment turns out to be. It's not always scoring points or getting to play a bunch.
As the season comes to a close these next couple of weeks, Natalie just seems to be getting warmed up! The coach has been playing her more, leaving her in longer, and she has been scoring! Her defense has gotten so much tougher, and she's cutting girls off (a good thing in basketball), knocking the ball away from the other team, and making it really hard for the other team to shoot!
Last night she made two really cool baskets from her usual "spot". I felt myself smile a real smile. Not the one I have on my face, but the kind you feel in your heart and your eyes! She has worked so hard to prove herself and to be valuable to her team. I guess that's what it means when you say a player "has heart". Well, now she's got game to go with it!
After the game, she received hearty congratulations from former coaches, and friends' parents, grandparents, classmates, and us, of course! She got a big bear hug from her best friend...who is NOT a hugger, but is one of many of our really good athletes on the team.
Nat used to complain that she's not a natural athlete. While many of her classmates are natural athletes, she has had to work twice as hard just to be half as good. That has turned out to be a blessing for her. And oddly enough, a blessing for me too. I used to be frustrated, watching her sit the bench, or watching everyone beat her down the floor while she struggled to just keep up. I used to feel anger toward the coaches who didn't give her a chance or believe in her. I knew how much she wanted what the other girls could just do without effort. I watched her keep trying, while other girls could rest. That was so not easy! I stayed with her after practice to work on volleyball serves because she wanted to be better for her team. She wouldn't give up!
While some will still say winning is everything, or winning is more important, I have to guess that maybe they've never had to be on the other side. Maybe they're used to being first string or having a naturally athletic child. They don't know what it feels like to watch a kid work twice as hard and still not get to play. I can tell them what winning really feels like because I've been on both sides. I was a high scorer on my volleyball team in high school, then watched my kid sit the bench. That is a test, my friends! It's a test of humility and grace.
I have to say I had my own "moment" during Serena's Saturday games. I was talking with a mom who was very frustrated about some things regarding the game. I saw myself in her. I heard the anger, but I saw the hurt, and I knew exactly what she was feeling. I patted her and said, "it's okay, mama. Just cheer on your girl. Nothing else matters!" It's something that took me a couple of years to learn. I hope she gets it faster than me!
And last night's moment? Well, I know what Natalie's moments were, but I had some of my own too. After I got Natalie home, she walked into my arms and let me hug her for a good long time. She said, "hug me harder. My back really hurts." I told her I would hug her so hard that her spine would straighten right out!" She was sweaty and hot and I didn't care. That's what I call a "moment"!
Rock on, Number Eleven!!
Each game, I've told you before, I pray for the girls. I always pray for Natalie to have "a moment", and I don't care what it is. The fun part is watching to see what that moment turns out to be. It's not always scoring points or getting to play a bunch.
As the season comes to a close these next couple of weeks, Natalie just seems to be getting warmed up! The coach has been playing her more, leaving her in longer, and she has been scoring! Her defense has gotten so much tougher, and she's cutting girls off (a good thing in basketball), knocking the ball away from the other team, and making it really hard for the other team to shoot!
Last night she made two really cool baskets from her usual "spot". I felt myself smile a real smile. Not the one I have on my face, but the kind you feel in your heart and your eyes! She has worked so hard to prove herself and to be valuable to her team. I guess that's what it means when you say a player "has heart". Well, now she's got game to go with it!
After the game, she received hearty congratulations from former coaches, and friends' parents, grandparents, classmates, and us, of course! She got a big bear hug from her best friend...who is NOT a hugger, but is one of many of our really good athletes on the team.
Nat used to complain that she's not a natural athlete. While many of her classmates are natural athletes, she has had to work twice as hard just to be half as good. That has turned out to be a blessing for her. And oddly enough, a blessing for me too. I used to be frustrated, watching her sit the bench, or watching everyone beat her down the floor while she struggled to just keep up. I used to feel anger toward the coaches who didn't give her a chance or believe in her. I knew how much she wanted what the other girls could just do without effort. I watched her keep trying, while other girls could rest. That was so not easy! I stayed with her after practice to work on volleyball serves because she wanted to be better for her team. She wouldn't give up!
While some will still say winning is everything, or winning is more important, I have to guess that maybe they've never had to be on the other side. Maybe they're used to being first string or having a naturally athletic child. They don't know what it feels like to watch a kid work twice as hard and still not get to play. I can tell them what winning really feels like because I've been on both sides. I was a high scorer on my volleyball team in high school, then watched my kid sit the bench. That is a test, my friends! It's a test of humility and grace.
I have to say I had my own "moment" during Serena's Saturday games. I was talking with a mom who was very frustrated about some things regarding the game. I saw myself in her. I heard the anger, but I saw the hurt, and I knew exactly what she was feeling. I patted her and said, "it's okay, mama. Just cheer on your girl. Nothing else matters!" It's something that took me a couple of years to learn. I hope she gets it faster than me!
And last night's moment? Well, I know what Natalie's moments were, but I had some of my own too. After I got Natalie home, she walked into my arms and let me hug her for a good long time. She said, "hug me harder. My back really hurts." I told her I would hug her so hard that her spine would straighten right out!" She was sweaty and hot and I didn't care. That's what I call a "moment"!
Rock on, Number Eleven!!
Sunday, February 5, 2012
To Forgive is Divine.....and stinkin' hard too
I kind of regret my post from Friday. In fact, when my computer took forever to post it, I disconnected my computer, hoping it would mess it up altogether. I was feeling frustrated and a bit fearful, a bit angry, and sometimes when I share those things, it helps me. Maybe it's not so helpful to others. I really kick myself when I think I have done something out of impulsive thinking. It's something I've worked on for years.
This morning in church, the message was on forgiveness. Oh, brother....this is my doing, everyone, I thought! But I know, we all fall short. We all offend someone at some time, and we all get offended. One of the many perils of our humanity, I suppose.
I should probably update the situation...Serena did apologize to her teacher for being disruptive. And something happened. The teacher apologized to her for giving her the detention. They then enjoyed school activity night by dancing to YMCA together. So for now, the situation is re-stabilized. I'm not sure I have faith that this won't head downhill again,but I have to take it for what it is today, and try to let the rest go.
So in church this morning, Pastor talked about how believers should come to reconcile. The key word being "believers". Well, I'm trying to forgive a non-believer who continues to throw stones. How do you stop feeling angry at someone who just won't stop being offensive? One day I feel I've let it go and forgiven it, and a week later, I'm annoyed yet again! It would be so much easier to forgive someone if you could just move millions of miles away! Or if they would...even better!!:) See what I mean?
I have experience in this forgiveness department. I have been forgiven and I have done the forgiving. I have forgiven people who didn't even know they were offensive to me because I was asking God to help me see them through His eyes. I just didn't want to feel that anger anymore. I guess it takes me awhile to forgive, though I know God forgave me in less than a heartbeat's time. And I didn't deserve that. I continue to annoy Him. I throw stones.
Pastor explained that it's pretty self-centered of us to not forgive someone or to not overlook an offense. We are to be kind and loving people, just as Christ was and is. Ooh...busted. Yet again. When the wrath of my impatience rears its ugly head and I know that I still haven't forgiven someone, I am so mad at myself. It is my ego, saying, "but you're not wrong...they are!" Make them accountable! Make THEM apologize! It just doesn't matter who is right. It only matters that I don't let this take a bitter root in me. Then, as Pastor put it, it becomes a big bag of HATE, and we weren't meant to carry that around.
I've heard it explained that forgiveness doesn't mean you have forgotten how someone hurt you. It doesn't mean that you downplay what they've done. Somehow, they will still reap consequences from it, just not from you. That's God's job. I've also been told that just because you forgive someone, doesn't mean you should resume a relationship with them. Think of a divorce, or if someone injures your child. You have to let the offense go, but in no way are you saying things will go back to being the same. And I guess that's part of the consequence. Yours and theirs.
So I need to find a way to forgive, yet be able to share space with these people without further tension on both our parts. I have been praying about it for 4 months, and I have another prayer partner helping me. She told me the other day that she's been praying for absolute misery for them. "Um,why?" I wanted to ask, but then she explained before I could get the words out. She's been studying about how to pray for the lost, and one way is to pray that they will become so miserable that the only thing they can turn to is God.
I have God, and I know how hard these things can be! So, I guess I can find it in my heart to continue to pray for the lost and pray that God will help me forgive them and be the woman he wants me to be, no matter what man tries to do to me!
This morning in church, the message was on forgiveness. Oh, brother....this is my doing, everyone, I thought! But I know, we all fall short. We all offend someone at some time, and we all get offended. One of the many perils of our humanity, I suppose.
I should probably update the situation...Serena did apologize to her teacher for being disruptive. And something happened. The teacher apologized to her for giving her the detention. They then enjoyed school activity night by dancing to YMCA together. So for now, the situation is re-stabilized. I'm not sure I have faith that this won't head downhill again,but I have to take it for what it is today, and try to let the rest go.
So in church this morning, Pastor talked about how believers should come to reconcile. The key word being "believers". Well, I'm trying to forgive a non-believer who continues to throw stones. How do you stop feeling angry at someone who just won't stop being offensive? One day I feel I've let it go and forgiven it, and a week later, I'm annoyed yet again! It would be so much easier to forgive someone if you could just move millions of miles away! Or if they would...even better!!:) See what I mean?
I have experience in this forgiveness department. I have been forgiven and I have done the forgiving. I have forgiven people who didn't even know they were offensive to me because I was asking God to help me see them through His eyes. I just didn't want to feel that anger anymore. I guess it takes me awhile to forgive, though I know God forgave me in less than a heartbeat's time. And I didn't deserve that. I continue to annoy Him. I throw stones.
Pastor explained that it's pretty self-centered of us to not forgive someone or to not overlook an offense. We are to be kind and loving people, just as Christ was and is. Ooh...busted. Yet again. When the wrath of my impatience rears its ugly head and I know that I still haven't forgiven someone, I am so mad at myself. It is my ego, saying, "but you're not wrong...they are!" Make them accountable! Make THEM apologize! It just doesn't matter who is right. It only matters that I don't let this take a bitter root in me. Then, as Pastor put it, it becomes a big bag of HATE, and we weren't meant to carry that around.
I've heard it explained that forgiveness doesn't mean you have forgotten how someone hurt you. It doesn't mean that you downplay what they've done. Somehow, they will still reap consequences from it, just not from you. That's God's job. I've also been told that just because you forgive someone, doesn't mean you should resume a relationship with them. Think of a divorce, or if someone injures your child. You have to let the offense go, but in no way are you saying things will go back to being the same. And I guess that's part of the consequence. Yours and theirs.
So I need to find a way to forgive, yet be able to share space with these people without further tension on both our parts. I have been praying about it for 4 months, and I have another prayer partner helping me. She told me the other day that she's been praying for absolute misery for them. "Um,why?" I wanted to ask, but then she explained before I could get the words out. She's been studying about how to pray for the lost, and one way is to pray that they will become so miserable that the only thing they can turn to is God.
I have God, and I know how hard these things can be! So, I guess I can find it in my heart to continue to pray for the lost and pray that God will help me forgive them and be the woman he wants me to be, no matter what man tries to do to me!
Friday, February 3, 2012
School Woes
God's been trying to teach me some things, but I don't have them all figured out yet. I bet I'll be saying that same thing 2 months, 5 years, 20 years from now! So, I don't get too terribly discouraged anymore.
However, I don't quite get what I'm supposed to be learning. I had a feeling way back when Serena was in 3rd grade that there was something "off" about school. At the time I wasn't sure what to do. Take her out, transfer, home school, stick it out. Here I am 3 years later, still wondering if that was a nudge and I missed it. I didn't have that same feeling about Natalie at all. In fact, she thrived in school and has been sailing away ever since. She loves school, the teachers love her, she has lots of friends, she does very well, and is very happy.
I can say most of the same things about Serena. However, it seems she's not a "class favorite" as Natalie was with two certain teachers. I may be wrong to assume this, as I know I'm supposed to think the best of people, but I have a feeling it has something to do with me, and I'm probably right. I don't want to think she's being treated unfairly, but something in me just doesn't feel right. I know not to always trust my "feelings", but I have pretty good instincts when it comes to my kids.
Serena and her entire class was given an anger-driven detention by a teacher having a bad day. She was present in a class when another teacher interrupted a class with an angry tirade toward one student. We have visited the principal's office and Serena now has a standing invitation to our school's social worker due to her fears of these things being directed at her at some time. Her citizenship grades by these 2 teachers are lower than what any of the other teachers assign. These two teachers are friends. Should I be suspicious and accusatory? Probably not, but when it comes to my kids,the "rules" go out the window sometimes. I'm supposed to protect her, and school shouldn't be a war zone. She should be able to trust the adults leading her. And so should we.
I picked her up on Thursday and the first thing she told me was that she was given detention for talking. Serena has never had a detention in her life, and most teachers would be shocked by that. She said her teacher seemed to be having yet another one of her bad days. Is my child capable of talking in class? Yes. But detention for it after never getting in trouble? I think it's odd. Nevertheless, I told her she must apologize to that teacher for disrupting the class,while i once again bit down hard on my fiery tongue.
So, is God trying to tell me I didn't listen to him by allowing these things to happen? It just seems she's not where she should be. It seems wrong somehow. I don't know if it's my own emotions or his guidance. Is God trying to get me angry so I'll take notice? This is where I get pretty lost! I feel that these situations have compromised her chances to be a board scholar, a golden rule recipient, and other achievements awarded by teachers. I can't help but think that they are being unprofessional and insensitive, and I can't really share why I believe that, but I do have my reasons. Valid ones at that.
But does it really matter that I'm right? No. She is all that matters, and I hope and pray the answers are clearer to me so that I do what is right.
However, I don't quite get what I'm supposed to be learning. I had a feeling way back when Serena was in 3rd grade that there was something "off" about school. At the time I wasn't sure what to do. Take her out, transfer, home school, stick it out. Here I am 3 years later, still wondering if that was a nudge and I missed it. I didn't have that same feeling about Natalie at all. In fact, she thrived in school and has been sailing away ever since. She loves school, the teachers love her, she has lots of friends, she does very well, and is very happy.
I can say most of the same things about Serena. However, it seems she's not a "class favorite" as Natalie was with two certain teachers. I may be wrong to assume this, as I know I'm supposed to think the best of people, but I have a feeling it has something to do with me, and I'm probably right. I don't want to think she's being treated unfairly, but something in me just doesn't feel right. I know not to always trust my "feelings", but I have pretty good instincts when it comes to my kids.
Serena and her entire class was given an anger-driven detention by a teacher having a bad day. She was present in a class when another teacher interrupted a class with an angry tirade toward one student. We have visited the principal's office and Serena now has a standing invitation to our school's social worker due to her fears of these things being directed at her at some time. Her citizenship grades by these 2 teachers are lower than what any of the other teachers assign. These two teachers are friends. Should I be suspicious and accusatory? Probably not, but when it comes to my kids,the "rules" go out the window sometimes. I'm supposed to protect her, and school shouldn't be a war zone. She should be able to trust the adults leading her. And so should we.
I picked her up on Thursday and the first thing she told me was that she was given detention for talking. Serena has never had a detention in her life, and most teachers would be shocked by that. She said her teacher seemed to be having yet another one of her bad days. Is my child capable of talking in class? Yes. But detention for it after never getting in trouble? I think it's odd. Nevertheless, I told her she must apologize to that teacher for disrupting the class,while i once again bit down hard on my fiery tongue.
So, is God trying to tell me I didn't listen to him by allowing these things to happen? It just seems she's not where she should be. It seems wrong somehow. I don't know if it's my own emotions or his guidance. Is God trying to get me angry so I'll take notice? This is where I get pretty lost! I feel that these situations have compromised her chances to be a board scholar, a golden rule recipient, and other achievements awarded by teachers. I can't help but think that they are being unprofessional and insensitive, and I can't really share why I believe that, but I do have my reasons. Valid ones at that.
But does it really matter that I'm right? No. She is all that matters, and I hope and pray the answers are clearer to me so that I do what is right.