Ludington is Calling....the beach needs me back

My favorite beach in Michigan....sands down.....LUDINGTON!! I heart you....

Happy Half-Birthday

As you may remember, we celebrate "half-birthdays" around here since the girls were both born during snowstorms! Yesterday was Serena's 12 1/2 birthday celebration. With the completion of the pool deck, we "decked" it out in a water theme. You may be thinking pool water, but it was actually more of a bottled water theme. Weird, I know, but you don't know Serena. She has been obsessed with drinking water lately. She fills up a big water bottle each day at least twice. She always has to have her water with her wherever we go. The party theme is always about what the girls are obsessed with at the time, so water it is! The cake was from an old Family Fun magazine. While it's a swimmer with a snorkel, the Natalie joke around the house is "Serena is going to drown from drinking all that water"! Of course, no party is complete until someone gets thrown in the pool! Natalie jabbed Serena, which caused her to dump her bottled water on herself, so she jumped up, grabbed her sister and threw her in the pool. Nat didn't think it was cool for a big sister to get overtaken by the little one. I just laughed, little sister that I am as well, knowing that no one wants revenge more than the younger one! I warned her not to push Serena, as she may be younger, but she is super strong! So, Nat spent part of the evening being silently angry at the half-birthday girl. Serena, being the peacemaker, decided to even the score by allowing Nat to throw her in the pool too. That girl will do anything to get on her sister's good side. One day I'm sure that will get old, but they'll work it out, I'm sure. We've been doing these parties for a few years now, and while they aren't true birthday parties with guests and gifts, they have been our favorite parties so far. It has been one way we have been forcing ourselves to stop and just have some unnecessary fun while honoring one of our own! And who doesn't want a birthday gift 6 months before your birthday, right?

I'd Rather Be Here

Refreshing, relaxing, rejuvenating, restoring, peaceful.....every time I get near a large body of water, I become all of those things. I really should just live on a beach!

Life Is Beautiful

I couldn't ask for more

I'm never quite sure what I'm going to write about. I used to write a lot about my girls, but as they've gotten a bit older, I try to respect their growing need for privacy. Let me tell you, I have some doozies I wish I could share! Not just for the humor, but for all the lessons too. Mine and theirs. Serena is 12, yet I find myself telling her what she considers to be my most annoying phrase, "you're 12. Not 21." That usually gets me an "ugh" or two. She's testing the waters a bit, clearly wanting to grow up too fast. She was a bit sarcastic with me today, and it got nipped in the bud instantly. I know it's just her testing her new independence. Kids always use it on the 'rents first. I just don't happen to think it's cool at all! Natalie seems to be right on track with where she should be. She's never been one to want to be older. In fact, she always said she wished she could stay little forever. She claims she's never leaving home. Serena would like to leave at 18. I just find their opposing personalities so strange! Nat is straightforward, Serena is a bit sneaky! We definitely have to parent them differently, which usually causes friction between the two of them. I'm sure the fun is just beginning! They still get along pretty well. Natalie has really taken to the big sister role. I listened in as she was teaching Serena some new volleyball techniques. She was so calm and patient with her, encouraging her along the way, giving lots of praise. I was so impressed! Not only with Nat, but with Serena's willingness to try. She hasn't always been easy to teach new things, letting her frustration get the best of her. It was so nice to see her not giving up and allowing Nat to teach her something without feeling intimidated. I've also seen Serena's faith growing, as she is now in the church youth group for the first time. She came home bubbling over with excitement, telling us she "felt God" there and how wonderful it was to be in the presence of young people of faith. Natalie leaned in and said to her, "I told you it would be that way, didn't I?" I smiled, knowing that my girls are growing up and growing together. That one day they will be women, pouring into each others lives much the same way. I couldn't ask for more.

Some Truth

Soon I will be heading out to the pool, but I had a few things on my mind first! It's 90+ degrees in the shade today, and I was saying to myself, "it is so hot! i just can't think straight." See, we decided to be conservative and not use the A/C this summer. After all, we were both raised on clean air in the home and the car. No A/C business! No pools either. In fact, Steve and I were both raised with very resourceful parents who never even had credit cards! We were both taught good values about money and various other important things. In our homes growing up, our parents sewed, cooked from scratch, baked on Saturdays, garage saled, and repurposed items in order to keep using them. It boggles my mind then, how Steve and I have gotten so far from the core values we were taught. I find myself changing, 6 years after we built our home. I find myself wishing we'd never built it at all. How life was simple before our "dream" began running our lives. It has caused me to pause and remember my life as a kid, and how happy I was with what I had. How I always took such good care of all of my possessions because I knew we couldn't replace them. I worked and saved not just some of my money, but ALL of it. I contributed to the household when it was needed. Not just with my money but with cooking and cleaning, learning all kinds of things I would need for my later life. I didn't have a lot growing up, but I didn't know it and I didn't care. It may look like I have a lot now, but I really don't, and I still don't care. What I need is for my external life to mirror my internal life, and then I will have peace. I think we all will. I'm not sure when I began thinking that it wasn't "enough". That somehow, a new house would be "better". Granted, we needed to get out of town. We didn't feel it was a safe place to raise 2 girls. But thinking back, we didn't need to leap quite so far. Somewhere along the way, we began to believe the "lie" that having more meant you'd "arrived" or finally "succeeded". But what we don't get told is that kind of thinking is the very thinking that will one day take you down to nothing. I keep going back to the fact that we didn't have a great relationship with Christ back then. If we would have had that stability and Truth in our lives, we would certainly have known back then that it wasn't about us,not even our kids. Being a good steward and living simply is about others. I wish I would have known that then. We may have been raised in great homes, but we weren't raised with enough God. It sounds like an excuse. I sure don't blame our parents for any mistakes we make! So I feel I am living a bit of a lie. Living here, but in my heart wanting something simple so that I can be a better steward to others. Wanting to be here for my kids, but also knowing the lack of income is a stress to my family. Knowing that if we move, we are leaving family property, and I would be taking this place from three people I love more than anything. Coming from what I had, I never believed I "deserved" to live in such a beautiful place. I certainly never believed I deserved to be a stay at home mom here as well. I seem to have the best of both worlds, but it is coming at a great cost. I guess if I have to choose between working full time and missing out on my kids, or having to move, I would rather move. So, lots on my mind today. Ironically, I am heading out to that pool. The pool we wanted for our kids so we wouldn't have to expose them to the beach. Good reason, but maybe not a great decision. I am learning about being a better steward of what God has given us, and trying not to beat myself up as I learn more.

Bring on the Rain

Okay, so the month of June isn't much better this year than it was last year. Last June we lost our precious dog, and that was enough. This year we were all saying that June would be so much better. Funny how our expectations and assumptions seem to blow up in our faces! It was all good as the girls completed school and we had the graduations. Then things began to go downhill. On the day the girls graduated, our basement flooded (again) and we found 4 inches of water in the basement. Enough said. Our phone quit and stayed broken for over a week. Serena dropped her phone in the toilet. It is now a "throne phone" The washer broke, leaving me with a pile of laundry for two weeks. The bugs ate all of our beans. Then ate our peppers. Then ate the new peppers. Ugh. Our beloved pastor resigned. Other issues have arisen that have Steve and I both stressed out. I won't share here. Anyway, we're trying to see what all of this means. Why when it rains, it always seems to pour. Why our prayers get answered in the exact opposite way of how we presented them sometimes. Why things always seem to get worse before they get better. Why little things can add up to big things. Why. Maybe that's the biggest question. The good news is that while we are waiting for things to get better, God is still at work, making all of the bad pieces into something good. Beauty for ashes. Things may have to get worse, in order for His purpose to be revealed and fulfilled. Decisions may have to be made that weren't in YOUR master plan that are certainly part of HIS. It's all for His glory, and we know He is watching to see what we will do with what we've been handed. It's not easy. We don't like it. We are tired of it, but we will persevere all the same. Bring on the rain. I've got a big umbrella.

Come on Over to Miss Angel's Neighborhood

Oh, yeah, I did it! And you wanna see it! Well, maybe you do. And if you do, here it is....www.rescuedandloved.blogspot.com. Sorry, can't get link to work. Just use your little fingers and type that in. That would be my new blog ALL about Angel, our adorable pooch! A blog was necessary as Angel actually had fans "back home" in her days of foster care. Her former mom set up a live feed cam, and Angel developed quite the fan base when she delivered her puppies. She has 30 or so "aunties" and many fans. They've been wondering about Angel and her new family, so I was more than happy to put in in blog form! If you're interested, check it out. Angel is our second rescue dog, and I believe wholeheartedly that every animal deserves the chance to be loved by someone. We are Angel's 4th and final stop! I would encourage anyone and everyone to give pet adoption a try. These pets aren't perfect, but guess what, neither are we humans!! But if you have compassion and patience, a rescue pet is for you! Check out my new blog or www.petfinder.com for more info on how to give a pet a loving home...YOURS!

Grad Girls

A bit late....these are graduation day photos. Serena graduated from 6th and will be headed to Jr. High this fall. Nat graduated from 8th and will be going to High School! They both had a good academic and musical year! Both had many accomplishments on both counts and show signs that they are ready to excel next year too! We can't wait to see what they've got up their sleeves for next year! Go girls! P.S. Serena did not wear the Converse shoes to her graduation! :)

The Boys

These are from Mother's Day weekend when we went to work on Grammy's porch! My youngest nephew loves Uncle Steve! I'm never the favorite when Uncle Steve is around! My brother Jeff, his older son Jarred and my bro in law, Vince all showed their amazing construction talent! It was a fun day! Now, get over to my place!!

My "Babies"

So Sweet!

If You Feel It, Feel It!

I learn a lot from my daughters. Today was another lesson from my 12 year old. Serena is an aspiring writer, and has been writing for as long as she could hold a pencil. I know I'm her mom, but she really does have talent. She has a mature voice not common for her age. She uses details and emotions that floor me. Her english teacher has been out for over a month, as her husband passed away unexpectedly. At Serena's graduation, this teacher sought me out and returned a binder full of story ideas that Serena had given her to critique. Apparently she has had this binder for most of the year. I wasn't aware that she had given it to her at all. I didn't read any of the critiques until Serena had a chance to read them herself. She "smiley-faced" many of her clever lines and story ideas, and added a wonderful uplifting letter. Apparently having Serena's binder helped her to escape some of the heavy sadness she has been carrying since her husband's death. But that's not why I learned a lesson, although there is one there as well. I was recently hurt by a shallow comment I heard, given flippantly to me, while I was feeling a deep loss. I thought to myself, "How can someone be so shallow?" I tried not to judge the comment, but you know, whether you judge or not doesn't stop the sting of a careless word. I've said careless words myself. I know both ends of that spectrum. It's like the time Serena told a friend that her aging dog was very slow and feeble, and her friend said flippantly, "why don't you just have her put down?" as if it was saying, "what kind of cereal do you want?" See, Serena and I are of the sensitive kind. We take things to heart. The one we sometimes wear on our sleeves! We feel things deeply, and sometimes longer than others feel them. We tend to romanticize a bit more about certain things. We have vivid imaginations. We love to create stories impulsively. We get our feelings hurt faster than the other two in this house! We forgive slower. We maybe even love a bit harder than most because when we love, we really mean it! When someone is hurting, we really feel it! We put their shoes on and try to walk in them. So when we express a feeling and someone dismisses it or doesn't get it, yeah, it stings. Truly, thank God we have each other! I used to think that being sensitive was a handicap. I used to downplay my feelings so no one knew I had them. All that did was make me angry. Serena went through a time of anger as well, trying to hold it all in and hold it together. Trying not to let people bother her. Try as we may, it bothers! I now see our shared sensitivity as a gift. Where others sometimes go through life with a more non-chalant, carefree spirit, we're being used to help each other and other sensitive spirits. There's also a fine line between sensitive and over-sensitive, and we walk that sometimes. The benefit is that we recognize it in others and know how best to respond to respect the way they feel. It's really all people want! To be understood or at least a showing that even though you don't feel that way or you've maybe never felt that way, that you care that they do. So what's the lesson? Serena reminded me that all good writers are probably emotional rollercoasters! How else could they write so much about so many feelings and situations? They can relate to all kinds of people because of their sensitivity! Yes, my daughter, the writer, you are right again!

Where is Unity?

The word "unity" has been on my mind for a long time. When I say a long time, I mean about 6 years. It came about at a time of disunity not only in my extended family but in my home church. What I have come to learn in the past 6 years is where true unity exists. I'm not going to go all philosophical on you, because truthfully, I don't have it in me right now. I've learned that unity can be a feeling, not a reality. Where you think unity exists, actually it can be a facade. A relationship that you've nurtured, only to find you've been deceived, betrayed, and lied to. A family member who you've reached out to countless times who still treats you like a stranger. You believe people in church when they hug you and say they care. Well, at least you want to believe that. Until they don't care anymore. Or you don't care anymore because the "unity" is only good on Sundays. My unity? My relationship with God, even on a bad day is the best, most reliable, most significant, most rewarding relationship I have that cannot be broken. Cannot. My relationship with my husband, my best friend, my rock. Honest. Loving. Kind. A real friend. A real person. He has my back. We're unified. Nothing can get in between. My girls. We are three, all of us together, bound by love and an endless commitment to each other. Time may take them away, but we will always be unified. Forever. My parents. Unity. Maybe of the best kind, because without them, I wouldn't be here. Or, as I like to say, I'd be someone else. So it's no surprise to me that true unity exists where you most expect it--at home. Not at work,not at church, not on your team, not at school, not in your best friendship, but at home with your family, and most of all, with God. Wherever I go, I think of that word. Do I just feel disunity, or does it really exist? Am I doing anything to promote unity or am I part of the problem? Imagine if everyone thought that way. Maybe I wouldn't be as disappointed as I am right now, writing this, thinking of those who must pleasure in breaking others down and causing things to break. Not thinking of how they affect others. Maybe not caring. The ripple effect of disunity is farther than people can even imagine. But the ripple effect of unity. Now there's something unbreakable. You'd think we'd all strive for that. But we don't. And I wish I knew why we let the enemy take it from us without a fight. Sorry for the dark words today, but that's exactly what disunity does. It rips into your soul and breaks your heart. And it allows evil to prevail if you let it. Truly, that is the goal of our enemy, to use others to break us down until we give up. I'm not giving up, but I may be looking to change where I've been searching for unity from now on. I guess I'll be home for awhile. Peace to you.

Life in "My" World

What is going on out here in the neighborwoods? That's what I've been asking myself since the start of "spring". It seems like a squirrel population explosion has occurred, the chipmunks act like pets, birds are making friends with the bees, and I'm braking each morning for turkeys, rabbits, deer, birds, and cats. I've been "attacked" by luggage-carrying spiders,garter snakes (mini-pythons if you ask me!), little sneaky, beady-eyed lizards, giant ants, june bugs that arrived in may, and lots of bees. Last night as I was enjoying my line-dried bedsheets, I felt a little unfamiliar tickling on my leg (do not go there!). A flinging of the sheets revealed a spider or some other crumpled up critter had been making itself at home on my side of the bed. Really?? Why is it always the one who hates the critters that gets them all up in her bloomers?? Don't get me started about the ant hill incident of 1982. None of us has time for that. Anyway, I love country living, but I am being invaded for sure. Yesterday I had 3 giant flies in the house, none of which I could swat. I am no Mr. Miyagi with a fly swatter, let me tell you. I hurt my shoulder swinging my swatter in the laundry room. I finally just shut the door and let the fly do the laundry. The other two flies got locked in between the screen and the window and I found them dead this morning. Victory! Now it's on to the chipmunks, who I'm sure are mocking me and poor Angel, who strangles herself trying to get to them before they run away. So much for being human and being bigger than everything. So much for critters "being more afraid of us than we are of them". Hmph! Tell that to the bats, raccoons, and entire family of robins now watching tv in my bed!!

Attack Dog

I have returned! Well, I never left. Anyway, I've been a bit occupied these days, trying to get yard work done (boring), end of the school stuff done (likewise), and trying to dig out my summer clothes (hysterical..it's freezing today). Anyway, lots of boring stuff going on. What is not boring, however, is our sweet, adorable, psycho dog, Angel. I love her dearly, really I do, it's just this issue of her hating strangers that I can't seem to handle. Yesterday my friend Tracy approached my car as I was sitting there with Angel, waiting for Rena. You would have thought I had a band of wild dogs in my car. The poor girl (Tracy) appeared to have had a mild heart attack as she witnessed little fluffykins trying to rip her head off. I was apologetic, of course, and Tracy assured me she understood, but I am wondering if A will ever get over this! When we took Angel on, we knew it would be a challenge. She had not been properly socialized as a puppy, and we believe some man abused her at some point. She's been in 2 shelters and one home with no real stability for any length of time. Well, as bad as I feel for her and as much as I want to help her get over this, she's making me want to drink! Large amounts! It's so stressful! I know it's not about me, but oh, boy. She's still growling at my parents and worst of all, she growls at Steve. No biting, no aggression, just all fear-based reactions. It's sad, really. She's so stinking cute and cuddly and sweet. Really, she is. It's just that no one will probably ever see it but us. We will be going into hiding sometime soon with our wild and crazy people hating dog. Actually, our vet advised us to keep exposing her to people in hopes that she will soon get over it. She may not. Did I need this stress? No. But Angel needed us, and we needed her. What I got was a bodyguard for life, I think! I'm thinking of starting a new blog that showcases my adventures with Angel so that you don't have to put up with too many dog stories here and hopefully I will link up with some dog owners who can help me out. I'll let you know if that happens and you can choose to follow or not. So, I have a crazy dog and a boring life. And you're sitting there reading about it. Hmmmm....Have a good day anyway, my friend!