If you want to know more about a person's personality, ride in a car with them. One thing I've learned is that you can quickly surmise a person's boundaries while doing so. For example, how do they respond when being cut off in traffic? How do they react when someone is tailgating them? What is the general reaction when someone blares their horn while passing by, due to some unknown or known infraction? Now turn this around, what is YOUR personality when you are in the driver's seat?
How patient are people on the road? Are they obeying speed limits? Using turn signals? Paying attention to upcoming construction zones and lane closures? Moving over for emergency vehicles? Parking between the lines or parking willy-nilly? Parking in tow zones or accessible/reserved parking spaces? And the one that really confounds me is when people flash their lights at me and I don't even drive with my brights on. I don't flash my lights at people for this reason. I also have a sensitivity to flashing lights, so this is a no-no on every level. Just look to the right if bright lights are coming toward you. It's not that hard to figure out our own solutions to these problems. Ephesians 4:26 In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold. It gives the enemy pleasure to see people letting their worst self come out on the roadways. Have you ever been out to lunch with a perfectly pleasant person only to see them turn into the Hulk on the road? Proverbs 8:13 To fear the Lord is to hate evil; I hate pride and arrogance, evil behavior and perverse speech. Counsel and sound judgment are mine; I have understanding and power.
Some people would be a lot more peaceful if they paid attention to their own driving and not so much what others were doing, for sure. I think of a funny video where the little girl is saying, "Worry 'bout yourself...you drive!" to her father, and it's hilarious, but also true. Yes, we do need to 'worry about ourselves', but also be considerate and courteous to other drivers out there. Something I remember hearing is to never react rudely while driving because you never know who that other driver is. It doesn't matter who that driver is. We just don't need to be acting like jerks on the road whatsoever. If your family member or friend is on the road and makes a mistake, do you want someone going off on them? My girls used to hate being honked at when they first learned to drive. I think honking is rude unless someone is alerting you that you are moving into their lane or pulling out in front of them. But sitting at a stop light for a millisecond too long? Sir or madam, please. How long do you spend in the bathroom each day? It's going to be okay. Philippians 2:3-4 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. I may be sarcastic about it, but I really think people do get their bloomers in a knot over silly things when driving.
One rule I remember about my old driving education is to leave plenty of space between my car and the car ahead of me. It was something like for every 10 miles per hour, allow that amount of car lengths. I don't know what the recommendations are now, but I am still very conscientious about the distance between myself and the cars ahead of me, whether in freeway traffic or driving in a small town. This boundary has saved me many times from being part of a chain reaction accident, simply because I had plenty of time to stop when a sudden braking incident occurred in front of me. And anyone who has traveled on certain Michigan freeways knows this happens frequently and who even knows why. I just want to get home safely and with no lives lost. Everyone seems to think they just need to "get there faster." Call me too analytical, but I want to know why. Maybe leave earlier? I don't know...is this just my old self slowing down? Was I this fast 30 years ago?
This is a boundary that I don't appreciate being violated. People seem to think that because I have left that wonderful spacious car length ahead of me, that it is for them to converge upon and make it their own. No, sir or madam, that is my safe space, and you are now in it, rent-free. This is also a pet peeve of Steve's. Hello, I know you want to get to Wal-Mart just two seconds faster, but the question is why? It allows for a lot of car stand-up (sit down?) comedy routines. All the things that are surmised while wondering what the people who squeezed in ahead of us are in such a hurry to buy. Mayonnaise? A rain poncho? Maybe a Snickers bar for that grouchy tummy? Proverbs 17:22 A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.
There is a lot of road rage going on and has been going on for years. I don't care to incite it, or be reactive to it. It does make me a little crazy because I don't want to die. I've seen many car to car fights on the freeway, and all I want to do is get past them quickly. Help us, Lord. But this is why we all need boundaries on the road. We need to keep ourselves and others safe. The redheaded man who jumped OUT of his vehicle to confront another on the freeway was on another level of scary. We were in a traffic jam, unfortunately, and just had to pray that nothing was going to happen to anyone. This pervasive pride that is driving down our roads is going to end us if we don't get our hearts right. Proverbs 16:18 Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall.
The world is going faster and faster, and with that people are driving faster and faster. When you don't slow down and think, you're bound to make more mistakes. When you take corners too fast, you don't have time to correct. When you don't decide ahead of time where you're going, you're going to make quick turns, wrong exits, and maybe end up on the wrong end of town. It's perfectly okay to make mistakes, but when we give ourselves limits, we are better equipped to correct and regroup. James 1:2-5 Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.
In life, I try to leave myself a lot of space, because although people like to criticize it, I do have occasional depression and a little more anxiety, like many people experience across the globe. I need that open space to get myself back on track sometimes. In that space, I need to have order, peace, time to pray and study, and something other than go-go-go, think-think-think, do-do-do. My spirit needs time to recharge so that my body has time to heal. People who have chronic illnesses will understand this. When we are under stress or duress, our bodies pay the price. When anything tries to take the space that I have created in order to heal, I have to demand it back. My health and my life depends on it. I need room between me and the next big "problem" or the next big "thing." I think most people do but if their bodies don't react in sickness, they may never make that connection. They just keep piling on and piling on, never understanding why their fuse is shorter and shorter, and their time is even more limited for the things that matter in life. Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. Suffice it to say that when I am dealing with a lot of anxiety, it is even harder for me to slow down and even spend the quality time I need with the Lord. Like the roundabouts I despise with a passion, anxiety is much like a vicious circle that I contend with often.
Boundaries help us by realizing we need healthy space between us and other things. Even good things and sometimes other people. When we are finally alone, we can hear not only ourselves, but we can sense with our spirits what God may be trying to impart to us. We are not meant to go-go-go and do-do-do, which is why cutting people off, honking and crashing is not where we succeed. People respond to our grace and our humility. We will respond positively to our own grace and humility as well.
We personally thrive when we finally let God drive. I am letting go of the wheel and letting go of the need to be right with all the rules, and allowing God to choose the route. Only He knows how to keep me between the lines and on the right path. Psalm 32:8 I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you.
2 comments:
No, sir or madam, that is my safe space, and you are now in it, rent-free.:):):)
I was in line at the bank when I was reading this article. I drove home really nicely and followed all the rules:)
Your writing is very visual and easily relatable. I love how you can interweave God’s message and desires for us into such regular daily tasks.
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