Natalie is 15 now. There, I said it out loud. I’m beginning to accept that she’s not a baby anymore! If she is, then I guess she wouldn’t have started driver’s education this week! I remember being 15 and wanting to stay 15 forever. I told my parents that I didn’t want to get any older, that I liked my life just the way it was at that point. It was full of friends, sleepovers, babysitting, eating whatever I wanted and never getting fat, sleeping in, having no job other than babysitting and household chores, not being old enough to date and getting all complicated with boys, and still feeling dependent on my parents. Some may say that stinks, but if teens really knew what the years ahead would bring, they’d like an uncomplicated, no-responsibilities life just a little bit longer. If they would slow down just a little bit, they would say what Natalie said to me on her 15th birthday. “I don’t want to get any older. I want to stay fifteen. I like my life this way.” It was then that I told her of my own wish at 15. Yes, something happens at 15. It’s a magical age, a special time between being a kid and becoming a young adult. Jump into it and it could spell disaster. Go too slow and you’ll miss something. Appreciating how good you have it, but knowing there’s something better for you is the way to embrace growing up and going forward at any age. I guess that's how I manage being able to embrace my kids growing up...and one day, out. There is something better for both of us. Them finding their groove, and me, watching and cheering them on.
Soon Natalie will be driving, dating, making her own decisions, working, trying to get into a good college. There will be plenty of time for all of that soon. But for now, sweet, unfettered, Hello Kitty jammies, no job, no dates, no worries….fifteen. And you won’t find me pushing her to be anything but that.
We know these years are few, they will fly by at a high speed blur. Maybe she doesn’t feel it, but we know how this thing called life really works. It moves in the blink of an eye. People tried to warn me as I held my newborn girl 15 years ago, "enjoy her being a baby. She'll be a teenager before you know it." And in what seems like a flash, they were right. It really does seem like yesterday that I was teaching her how to read. And now we're teaching her how to drive.
"Hold on to fifteen as long as you can", the song says. I think I may be holding on tighter than she ever could.
Thursday, February 28, 2013
Sunday, February 24, 2013
A Beautiful Sight
Friday, February 22, 2013
An Angel Story....long and requires kleenex!
Some of my best stories are those that I can’t completely share. Maybe it involves someone else’s privacy, maybe it would invade that of my own kids! But some stories change my life in a way that I just have to share it. Maybe I’ll tweak it a little to protect certain people, maybe I’ll leave out a few private details, but I must tell this story. I will try my best to make sense! It’s very long, but it’s worth the time.
Backing up just a bit, we adopted Angel, our beautiful white maltese-mix back in April. We found her on Petfinder, an association that led us to a caring woman who connected us with our new family member! She had been caring for Angel for several months, having picked her up from a shelter in Ohio. That shelter had allowed young Angel to be impregnated, so the caretaker had her hands full with a young and pregnant dog. She cared for her and helped bring 6 beautiful puppies into the world. Two of the puppies died of a virus, and one became ill with it. She nursed the ill one back to health and took care of the bouncy pups and protective mom. A music major, she often sang to them! Though busy with other animals and obligations, she managed to set up a live feed of Angel and her pups, bringing viewers from all over the U.S. and Canada. Angel and her pups became quite popular and loved. Three of the puppies were adopted out, and the caretaker decided to keep just one. Angel remained, still in need of a permanent home. This would be her third residence. Having been surrendered at about 8 months old, she had not been socialized properly and was terrified of people, especially men, it seemed. From the first moment I saw her sad little face on the website, I knew she was the one. She needed us! We needed her. And I loved her name. “Angel”, the word we now used to describe our departed Sophie. The “coincidences” were amazing!
On that much-anticipated day in April, we finally met with the caretaker and a very frightened Angel. The moment I saw Angel, I was smitten! Her eyes were the color of milk duds and full of soul. With great trepidation, she came into the living room where we all sat quietly, as we were instructed. “Hold out this treat and just let her come to you”, the caretaker quietly said. As Angel came and took her treats from us, she would growl and back away. In a way it was cute, but mostly it was sad. This poor dog had been through so much. She desperately wanted to trust us, we could tell. The caretaker took her time allowing Angel to warm up to us a bit, and three hours later, she was satisfied that we would love Angel and take good care of her. She had driven 90 minutes to bring Angel to us, and we appreciated all of that time she stayed and gave us information and helped us to bond with her. Toward the middle of our visit, she brought in one of Angel’s puppies! He was a spitting image of his mama, and so well trained. A beautiful little gentleman. With tears in my eyes for the caretaker, and maybe a few for myself, I said a “God bless you” to her as she left, taking Angel’s baby with her. We spent the following days and weeks, trying to make Angel feel comfortable and helping her to trust us. It took her one day with me to find out I was her favorite! I became her mommy that day and it’s been like that ever since. Yay! Success for us both! Six weeks later, she decided Steve could stay too!
Fast forward to October. We received an email from the caretaker, asking if we would be interested in also adopting the puppy, since he was now in need of a home. I didn’t ask questions, thinking maybe the owner had a health issue or something. It took about 30 seconds or less for me to think, “YES!” I then had to convince Steve…took a little longer, but he agreed that it would be great for us and for Angel. And of course, we could take awesome care of the little guy as well. For some reason, I immediately said yes. Now, if anyone knows me, they would know that I never say yes that fast. I always ponder and take my time making decisions! I felt a stirring in my heart and I knew I was supposed to do this. I just didn’t know why. While she was planning on giving us the puppy free of charge, I still knew there would be vet bills and other expenses. I just didn’t care. I loved him immediately and anticipated his arrival, which I thought would be within a couple of weeks.
This is the part where I can’t share everything. The days that followed revealed some information that caused a delay in getting our new puppy. A very long delay. And not only was I concerned about the puppy, I was concerned about the situation at hand. After nearly 2 months of fretting, worrying, wondering, questioning, searching, we learned that our puppy was no longer available to us. In fact, he had been moved and we didn’t know where he had gone. With a little tip, I learned where he was being held, and I sent a frantic application, explaining the situation the best I could. Soon after my application was sent, I continued to pray. The following morning, I received a response, but it wasn’t the one I had prayed for. The answer I received was curt, to the point, and without heart, no mention of the story I had explained. No apology, no understanding, no remorse. Just, “thank you for your interest. He has already been placed.” End of story. She didn’t care one iota of all we had been through. Of course she eventually sent me another note, wanting to know everything I knew about him, and I told her about my blog, hoping she would tell the new owners about Angel so they could know a little bit about their puppy. She assured me she would pass the information on to the new owners. I found out later that she had done nothing of what she said she would do, and in fact had only asked the questions out of her own nosiness. I wanted to call her “Cruella”. But I am so glad I responded the way I did instead. She didn’t get from me what she really deserved to hear. She got mercy instead, but I put my head down and cried after that email. We were all so invested in getting this puppy. We had already purchased items for him, and made plans for him. He was gone and there was nothing I could do about it. I prayed that although this dog would not be ours, that he was being loved by someone and maybe one day I would be able to reunite mom and pup. I knew I had to accept what was, but it was all so unfair. I had to stop for a minute out of my pity party to realize I wasn’t the only one who was being treated unfairly. I can’t share that part of the story. Anyway… it wasn’t just about me. It never is.
I felt a great stirring of compassion that most people would not understand, given the apparent situation. What I will say is that believing the best of a person is crucial. Crucial. To hear a rumor and to not believe it the way it’s told and to not judge. To listen to your own heart, follow your own instinct, and to not believe everything you hear!! To know all these things is one thing, but to have the test before you is entirely different. They say your true character is exposed when you think no one is watching. Well, God is always watching. I learned that this dog was just not for us to have. No matter how unfair it was. No matter how painful it was for me and the rest of the family. No matter what the circumstances were. And possibly the biggest revelation came in the way of understanding that this lesson probably wasn’t for me after all. Through anger and confusion, I became extraordinarily blessed. Only God can do that. And He used a little white dog to show me something big. And yet, the story gets better….
Because of Angel’s massive popularity, the original caretaker had recommended back in April that I stay in touch somehow, by providing pictures and videos of Angel and her new life. I told her I would love to do that, but with slow dial up, I was afraid it wouldn’t be effective. Instead I decided to start a blog just for her, and I sent the address to the caretaker to pass on to all who had watched Angel on the live feed. It didn’t take long to meet these wonderful “aunties” of Angel and the pups. I was amazed and touched by their love and interest in these little “pound puppies”! I continue to be blessed by their comments and encouragement today. And because I decided to put that blog together, the new adoptive owner of our intended puppy was able to contact me a couple of months ago. She did a simple internet search and just happened to come across something that accidentally led her to Angel’s blog, which as far as I remember, cannot be accessed by a google search. Of course there are no “accidents”. She was meant to find me. She sent a couple of cryptic messages at first, and I was reluctant to respond. If I was able to give you the whole story, maybe you would understand this better. Please know that I just can’t, out of respect for someone’s privacy. This woman just asked me to contact her but didn’t say why. She promised she wasn’t a “crazy person”, which endeared her to me, and so I made my decision. I was a little afraid of what I would hear, since I didn’t know at the time who this was or what they wanted. I took a deep breath and told her how to contact me. The email that followed brought me to tears.
“I am “ ‘s” new owner.” It began. My eyes began to blur, but I forced myself to read the rest. What I found was a person who was hurting because she had learned through my blog that she ended up with the dog I was supposed to get. She wanted to assure me that she didn’t know anything about me. She felt heartbroken and bad for me, and was in fact worried that we may be mad at them. It couldn’t have been farther from the truth!
At that moment I was so glad that I had prayed about all of this. My heart had no anger at all toward this new young family from the very beginning and I was so relieved that I hadn‘t reacted that way. In fact, this email left me overflowing with gratefulness and compassion. I was so happy that this little puppy had found a wonderful, loving family who needed them as much as they needed him! I learned that he would be loved by a sweet little boy and girl, a mom, a dad, and a cat! It didn’t take us long to connect and find things in common, aside from our extremely similar pets! I have since come to learn that this is her first dog, as her parents would never let her have one growing up. This little dog has blessed their little family so much that she began a blog about him too! Had I ended up with that little dog, she would have missed out on all of that love and affection that he brings her every day. It was meant to be. For her.
The Lord works that way, you know? I was able to share with her some information that she did not have, and upon learning it, she was able to find resolution over some important questions. Sorry for all the code. Still not all of my story to tell. Anyway, it gave her peace to know what I knew. And with this information, she was able to reach out to the one person who needed it most. And not only did this resolve the whole situation, but it brought peace where it was needed for all. I would like to think it brought about new friendships as well. I hope one day we will be able to get our dogs together for that reunion I prayed about in the beginning. And though our dogs had a happy ending, there are still more in need of love and homes that I continue to pray about.
This experience was just another great orchestration of God’s power and the fact that He cares about all things, great and small. Even little white dogs who need homes. People who need understanding. And me, who didn’t get the dog, but got a whole lot more.
Backing up just a bit, we adopted Angel, our beautiful white maltese-mix back in April. We found her on Petfinder, an association that led us to a caring woman who connected us with our new family member! She had been caring for Angel for several months, having picked her up from a shelter in Ohio. That shelter had allowed young Angel to be impregnated, so the caretaker had her hands full with a young and pregnant dog. She cared for her and helped bring 6 beautiful puppies into the world. Two of the puppies died of a virus, and one became ill with it. She nursed the ill one back to health and took care of the bouncy pups and protective mom. A music major, she often sang to them! Though busy with other animals and obligations, she managed to set up a live feed of Angel and her pups, bringing viewers from all over the U.S. and Canada. Angel and her pups became quite popular and loved. Three of the puppies were adopted out, and the caretaker decided to keep just one. Angel remained, still in need of a permanent home. This would be her third residence. Having been surrendered at about 8 months old, she had not been socialized properly and was terrified of people, especially men, it seemed. From the first moment I saw her sad little face on the website, I knew she was the one. She needed us! We needed her. And I loved her name. “Angel”, the word we now used to describe our departed Sophie. The “coincidences” were amazing!
On that much-anticipated day in April, we finally met with the caretaker and a very frightened Angel. The moment I saw Angel, I was smitten! Her eyes were the color of milk duds and full of soul. With great trepidation, she came into the living room where we all sat quietly, as we were instructed. “Hold out this treat and just let her come to you”, the caretaker quietly said. As Angel came and took her treats from us, she would growl and back away. In a way it was cute, but mostly it was sad. This poor dog had been through so much. She desperately wanted to trust us, we could tell. The caretaker took her time allowing Angel to warm up to us a bit, and three hours later, she was satisfied that we would love Angel and take good care of her. She had driven 90 minutes to bring Angel to us, and we appreciated all of that time she stayed and gave us information and helped us to bond with her. Toward the middle of our visit, she brought in one of Angel’s puppies! He was a spitting image of his mama, and so well trained. A beautiful little gentleman. With tears in my eyes for the caretaker, and maybe a few for myself, I said a “God bless you” to her as she left, taking Angel’s baby with her. We spent the following days and weeks, trying to make Angel feel comfortable and helping her to trust us. It took her one day with me to find out I was her favorite! I became her mommy that day and it’s been like that ever since. Yay! Success for us both! Six weeks later, she decided Steve could stay too!
Fast forward to October. We received an email from the caretaker, asking if we would be interested in also adopting the puppy, since he was now in need of a home. I didn’t ask questions, thinking maybe the owner had a health issue or something. It took about 30 seconds or less for me to think, “YES!” I then had to convince Steve…took a little longer, but he agreed that it would be great for us and for Angel. And of course, we could take awesome care of the little guy as well. For some reason, I immediately said yes. Now, if anyone knows me, they would know that I never say yes that fast. I always ponder and take my time making decisions! I felt a stirring in my heart and I knew I was supposed to do this. I just didn’t know why. While she was planning on giving us the puppy free of charge, I still knew there would be vet bills and other expenses. I just didn’t care. I loved him immediately and anticipated his arrival, which I thought would be within a couple of weeks.
This is the part where I can’t share everything. The days that followed revealed some information that caused a delay in getting our new puppy. A very long delay. And not only was I concerned about the puppy, I was concerned about the situation at hand. After nearly 2 months of fretting, worrying, wondering, questioning, searching, we learned that our puppy was no longer available to us. In fact, he had been moved and we didn’t know where he had gone. With a little tip, I learned where he was being held, and I sent a frantic application, explaining the situation the best I could. Soon after my application was sent, I continued to pray. The following morning, I received a response, but it wasn’t the one I had prayed for. The answer I received was curt, to the point, and without heart, no mention of the story I had explained. No apology, no understanding, no remorse. Just, “thank you for your interest. He has already been placed.” End of story. She didn’t care one iota of all we had been through. Of course she eventually sent me another note, wanting to know everything I knew about him, and I told her about my blog, hoping she would tell the new owners about Angel so they could know a little bit about their puppy. She assured me she would pass the information on to the new owners. I found out later that she had done nothing of what she said she would do, and in fact had only asked the questions out of her own nosiness. I wanted to call her “Cruella”. But I am so glad I responded the way I did instead. She didn’t get from me what she really deserved to hear. She got mercy instead, but I put my head down and cried after that email. We were all so invested in getting this puppy. We had already purchased items for him, and made plans for him. He was gone and there was nothing I could do about it. I prayed that although this dog would not be ours, that he was being loved by someone and maybe one day I would be able to reunite mom and pup. I knew I had to accept what was, but it was all so unfair. I had to stop for a minute out of my pity party to realize I wasn’t the only one who was being treated unfairly. I can’t share that part of the story. Anyway… it wasn’t just about me. It never is.
I felt a great stirring of compassion that most people would not understand, given the apparent situation. What I will say is that believing the best of a person is crucial. Crucial. To hear a rumor and to not believe it the way it’s told and to not judge. To listen to your own heart, follow your own instinct, and to not believe everything you hear!! To know all these things is one thing, but to have the test before you is entirely different. They say your true character is exposed when you think no one is watching. Well, God is always watching. I learned that this dog was just not for us to have. No matter how unfair it was. No matter how painful it was for me and the rest of the family. No matter what the circumstances were. And possibly the biggest revelation came in the way of understanding that this lesson probably wasn’t for me after all. Through anger and confusion, I became extraordinarily blessed. Only God can do that. And He used a little white dog to show me something big. And yet, the story gets better….
Because of Angel’s massive popularity, the original caretaker had recommended back in April that I stay in touch somehow, by providing pictures and videos of Angel and her new life. I told her I would love to do that, but with slow dial up, I was afraid it wouldn’t be effective. Instead I decided to start a blog just for her, and I sent the address to the caretaker to pass on to all who had watched Angel on the live feed. It didn’t take long to meet these wonderful “aunties” of Angel and the pups. I was amazed and touched by their love and interest in these little “pound puppies”! I continue to be blessed by their comments and encouragement today. And because I decided to put that blog together, the new adoptive owner of our intended puppy was able to contact me a couple of months ago. She did a simple internet search and just happened to come across something that accidentally led her to Angel’s blog, which as far as I remember, cannot be accessed by a google search. Of course there are no “accidents”. She was meant to find me. She sent a couple of cryptic messages at first, and I was reluctant to respond. If I was able to give you the whole story, maybe you would understand this better. Please know that I just can’t, out of respect for someone’s privacy. This woman just asked me to contact her but didn’t say why. She promised she wasn’t a “crazy person”, which endeared her to me, and so I made my decision. I was a little afraid of what I would hear, since I didn’t know at the time who this was or what they wanted. I took a deep breath and told her how to contact me. The email that followed brought me to tears.
“I am “ ‘s” new owner.” It began. My eyes began to blur, but I forced myself to read the rest. What I found was a person who was hurting because she had learned through my blog that she ended up with the dog I was supposed to get. She wanted to assure me that she didn’t know anything about me. She felt heartbroken and bad for me, and was in fact worried that we may be mad at them. It couldn’t have been farther from the truth!
At that moment I was so glad that I had prayed about all of this. My heart had no anger at all toward this new young family from the very beginning and I was so relieved that I hadn‘t reacted that way. In fact, this email left me overflowing with gratefulness and compassion. I was so happy that this little puppy had found a wonderful, loving family who needed them as much as they needed him! I learned that he would be loved by a sweet little boy and girl, a mom, a dad, and a cat! It didn’t take us long to connect and find things in common, aside from our extremely similar pets! I have since come to learn that this is her first dog, as her parents would never let her have one growing up. This little dog has blessed their little family so much that she began a blog about him too! Had I ended up with that little dog, she would have missed out on all of that love and affection that he brings her every day. It was meant to be. For her.
The Lord works that way, you know? I was able to share with her some information that she did not have, and upon learning it, she was able to find resolution over some important questions. Sorry for all the code. Still not all of my story to tell. Anyway, it gave her peace to know what I knew. And with this information, she was able to reach out to the one person who needed it most. And not only did this resolve the whole situation, but it brought peace where it was needed for all. I would like to think it brought about new friendships as well. I hope one day we will be able to get our dogs together for that reunion I prayed about in the beginning. And though our dogs had a happy ending, there are still more in need of love and homes that I continue to pray about.
This experience was just another great orchestration of God’s power and the fact that He cares about all things, great and small. Even little white dogs who need homes. People who need understanding. And me, who didn’t get the dog, but got a whole lot more.
Mother and son on their last day together- April 26, 2012
Thursday, February 21, 2013
Tech-NO
I miss the phone book. Well, not the actual book really, but I miss the people in it. So many people have given up their landlines in favor of their cell phones. All this means is that unless I know someone who knows you, I can't find your number or your address. This means that if I want to send you something nice in the mail, or call you, I am up the book without a number! It's frustrating because I pride (not really pride) myself in traditional communication. If I want to talk to you, I would rather call you, send you a handwritten (yes, written) note, or email you. I do text, but find it impersonal. We recently hopped on facebook because we were missing out on some family information. It was my husband's idea, and rather than have him do it alone, he suggested we do it together. That's okay, but it's no substitute for real communicating and relating to others.
It wasn't too many years ago that phones didn't exist. When we heavily relied on the mail to communicate. I have stacks upon stacks of postcards that I have collected for years. Do you know the last time I received a post card? I don't remember either! But my collection is even more cherished than ever. I have cards so old that the dates are barely visible. These were heartfelt notes written between friends and family because they missed each other. Do you really know how to miss anyone these days? How many texts, facebook posts or emails do you copy and lovingly place in a keepsake box? Exactly. You don't, and neither do I. Being a sentimental person, this is painful!
I may be one of the few, but I miss the days of waiting to see if that boy would call. When the phone rang, you plowed your brother over to get there first, then answered calmly, so as not to seem too excited..."oh, hi grandma...yeah, just a minute..." No caller ID, no call waiting. No machines! And the anticipation of a phone call was like finding out mom was ordering pizza for dinner!
My kids have cell phones, but don't talk on them. They text. No one talks to anyone anymore! I find it disturbing that you can have 200+ "friends" on facebook, but never make time to hang out with a real friend. It's bothersome that I can't call you because you've ditched your landline. It's annoying that the only pictures I see of your kids, your vacation, or whatever is on facebook where everyone sees them. Remember when we used to make a date to have coffee and look at your vacation pics? Gone are the days.
Call me old-fashioned. Please do! I enjoy my sentimentality and nostalgia for a simpler, maybe more time-consuming life. I didn't mind waiting for the phone to ring. I didn't need to know what everyone was doing every second. Life used to be nice and slow. Life today is too fast, too full. And it makes me tired and frustrated. This so-called technology, designed to save us time so we can just cram more junk into our lives quite frankly leaves me wanting. Take the phone books away, and now I can't communicate with anyone. Yep, that's a great move for technology. Soon we will have no mail at all. Kind of hard to send a beautiful greeting card to someone in a nursing home, isn't it? Well, we wouldn't want to mess with "technology", would we?
It wasn't too many years ago that phones didn't exist. When we heavily relied on the mail to communicate. I have stacks upon stacks of postcards that I have collected for years. Do you know the last time I received a post card? I don't remember either! But my collection is even more cherished than ever. I have cards so old that the dates are barely visible. These were heartfelt notes written between friends and family because they missed each other. Do you really know how to miss anyone these days? How many texts, facebook posts or emails do you copy and lovingly place in a keepsake box? Exactly. You don't, and neither do I. Being a sentimental person, this is painful!
I may be one of the few, but I miss the days of waiting to see if that boy would call. When the phone rang, you plowed your brother over to get there first, then answered calmly, so as not to seem too excited..."oh, hi grandma...yeah, just a minute..." No caller ID, no call waiting. No machines! And the anticipation of a phone call was like finding out mom was ordering pizza for dinner!
My kids have cell phones, but don't talk on them. They text. No one talks to anyone anymore! I find it disturbing that you can have 200+ "friends" on facebook, but never make time to hang out with a real friend. It's bothersome that I can't call you because you've ditched your landline. It's annoying that the only pictures I see of your kids, your vacation, or whatever is on facebook where everyone sees them. Remember when we used to make a date to have coffee and look at your vacation pics? Gone are the days.
Call me old-fashioned. Please do! I enjoy my sentimentality and nostalgia for a simpler, maybe more time-consuming life. I didn't mind waiting for the phone to ring. I didn't need to know what everyone was doing every second. Life used to be nice and slow. Life today is too fast, too full. And it makes me tired and frustrated. This so-called technology, designed to save us time so we can just cram more junk into our lives quite frankly leaves me wanting. Take the phone books away, and now I can't communicate with anyone. Yep, that's a great move for technology. Soon we will have no mail at all. Kind of hard to send a beautiful greeting card to someone in a nursing home, isn't it? Well, we wouldn't want to mess with "technology", would we?
Wednesday, February 20, 2013
Mr. Rogers Wins My Heart Again
Call my life exciting if you wish, but the latest book I'm reading is "The Simple Faith of Mr. Rogers : Spiritual Insights from the World's Most Beloved Neighbor" by Amy Hollingsworth. If you keep all of my old posts on your refrigerator, you would know I have posted about the late and wonderful Fred Rogers in the past. He ranks high on the list of my all time favorite people, though I never had the pleasure of meeting him. The author did, however, which is what inspired her book. The reason I tease about it being exciting is because Mr. Rogers has been ridiculed so much for his calm and gentle, reassuring manner. For his shoe change and cardigans. Tease all you want. I love the man! More importantly, I loved what he stood for, both as a child and now as a grown woman.
I've had what some people would call "a-ha" moments while reading this book. I knew he was a minister, but I had no idea that he prayed before stepping foot on his set each day. I had no idea that he was so full of the Holy Spirit that the people watching often wrote him to tell him how dramatically he had affected their lives. I had no idea that the man I saw on TV each day was in fact being himself. His honest self. He really did care about the children he spoke to each day. And as a child, I felt that care, though he was in a box in my living room. I spent a lot of time home sick as a kid, and I always resented that. I look back now and I'm grateful for being able to count on Mr. Rogers Neighborhood for comfort and love. Cookie Monster didn't hurt either!
One of my "a-ha" moments in the book was the chapter entitled, "The wondrous work of the Holy Spirit", in which he describes an experience in a church he was visiting. He was still in seminary at the time, and anxious to hear a certain preacher. When he arrived there, he found that the preacher was away and a substitute was in his place. He was disappointed, but took his seat with some friends. He was not pleased with the sermon, keeping track of all the mistakes the preacher was making, and couldn't wait for it to be over. When it ended, he turned to his friend to commiserate, and tears were streaming down her face. "He said exactly what I needed to hear", she whispered. When he started to think about just how different their reactions were, he realized his judgmental mistake. His friend had come in need, and he had come in judgment. Because of her need, the Holy Spirit was able to translate those poorly constructed words into exactly what that young lady needed at that time. That experience changed Fred's entire life. Can you imagine just one incident that would change the course of your life?
I am still amazed that a little children's show with puppets and a trolley could somehow transform lives. Not just little kids, but adults. What other show can compare today? None. Mr. Rogers received so many letters of witnessing and testimony over the years. He was blessed by them all. I wish he was around to hear mine too. I wish I could tell him that I am honored to carry his last name! That my blog title was inspired by him. And I continue to aspire to be kind, gentle, quiet and "take my time" because I see the kind of rewards it brings. I would tell him I remember him meeting some kind of primate and the long slow interaction he allowed to take place for the sake of his audience. The primate wanted to see Fred's feet so Fred allowed it to remove his shoes and socks. It was amazing to me. Fred just sat there quietly, in the presence of this massive animal, seeking to connect with it, allowing it to check out his feet!
Now you know the real me. The Mr. Rogers Neighborhood -loving 43 year old mom. I am better for having watched his show and now I am truly being blessed by this book too!
I've had what some people would call "a-ha" moments while reading this book. I knew he was a minister, but I had no idea that he prayed before stepping foot on his set each day. I had no idea that he was so full of the Holy Spirit that the people watching often wrote him to tell him how dramatically he had affected their lives. I had no idea that the man I saw on TV each day was in fact being himself. His honest self. He really did care about the children he spoke to each day. And as a child, I felt that care, though he was in a box in my living room. I spent a lot of time home sick as a kid, and I always resented that. I look back now and I'm grateful for being able to count on Mr. Rogers Neighborhood for comfort and love. Cookie Monster didn't hurt either!
One of my "a-ha" moments in the book was the chapter entitled, "The wondrous work of the Holy Spirit", in which he describes an experience in a church he was visiting. He was still in seminary at the time, and anxious to hear a certain preacher. When he arrived there, he found that the preacher was away and a substitute was in his place. He was disappointed, but took his seat with some friends. He was not pleased with the sermon, keeping track of all the mistakes the preacher was making, and couldn't wait for it to be over. When it ended, he turned to his friend to commiserate, and tears were streaming down her face. "He said exactly what I needed to hear", she whispered. When he started to think about just how different their reactions were, he realized his judgmental mistake. His friend had come in need, and he had come in judgment. Because of her need, the Holy Spirit was able to translate those poorly constructed words into exactly what that young lady needed at that time. That experience changed Fred's entire life. Can you imagine just one incident that would change the course of your life?
I am still amazed that a little children's show with puppets and a trolley could somehow transform lives. Not just little kids, but adults. What other show can compare today? None. Mr. Rogers received so many letters of witnessing and testimony over the years. He was blessed by them all. I wish he was around to hear mine too. I wish I could tell him that I am honored to carry his last name! That my blog title was inspired by him. And I continue to aspire to be kind, gentle, quiet and "take my time" because I see the kind of rewards it brings. I would tell him I remember him meeting some kind of primate and the long slow interaction he allowed to take place for the sake of his audience. The primate wanted to see Fred's feet so Fred allowed it to remove his shoes and socks. It was amazing to me. Fred just sat there quietly, in the presence of this massive animal, seeking to connect with it, allowing it to check out his feet!
Now you know the real me. The Mr. Rogers Neighborhood -loving 43 year old mom. I am better for having watched his show and now I am truly being blessed by this book too!
Tuesday, February 19, 2013
"Best": Clarified
Although I stand by what I said in my "friends and favorites" post yesterday, I actually do have a couple of “best” friends, now that I think about it. The first one is Jesus Christ. The second is my husband, who God provided to be my partner in life. So, maybe I was a bit hasty in saying I don’t have “favorites”. Let me explain.
Jesus is my best friend because He laid down his life for me when I was still a sinner. He provided me a Comforter to help me at all times. He listens better than any person I know. He knows me better than anyone else possibly could. He blesses me, disciplines me, and most of all….best of all…He loves me more than anyone ever could.
Steve is my best friend because he has been there for me in every way for as long as I have known him. Not one day has he faltered in his love for me. He has defended me, blessed me in countless ways, and has my back at all times. Best of all…most of all…He loves me in the way that God has commanded him to.
If I had to pick female “besties”, believe it or not, it’s my two daughters. They know my faults, have seen my ugly side at times, and have taught me more than any child I will ever meet. They honor me in the best way they know how. Best of all…most of all….they just love me the way I am.
I hope that as you read this, you are reflecting on the love God has for you. His individual provisions of love just for you. Maybe they don’t come in the package of a husband and kids. I know people who feel they are in a loveless marriage, or whose kids have gone astray and aren‘t very loving. I know people who are widowed, or still seeking someone special. Does that mean they are without love? Never. Not when they worship the One who loved them first. Will love them second, will love them third. Will love them forever and ever. For the simple fact that He created you just so He could love you. Simple. Whether people pick you as a “favorite” doesn’t matter. God will always pick you. You are His unique and special creation and He knows your name!
God as a best friend? You betcha. No one else wants the job of loving you here on earth? Let Him love you. And love yourself. There you go. Two best friends. Still feeling alone?
Jesus is my best friend because He laid down his life for me when I was still a sinner. He provided me a Comforter to help me at all times. He listens better than any person I know. He knows me better than anyone else possibly could. He blesses me, disciplines me, and most of all….best of all…He loves me more than anyone ever could.
Steve is my best friend because he has been there for me in every way for as long as I have known him. Not one day has he faltered in his love for me. He has defended me, blessed me in countless ways, and has my back at all times. Best of all…most of all…He loves me in the way that God has commanded him to.
If I had to pick female “besties”, believe it or not, it’s my two daughters. They know my faults, have seen my ugly side at times, and have taught me more than any child I will ever meet. They honor me in the best way they know how. Best of all…most of all….they just love me the way I am.
I hope that as you read this, you are reflecting on the love God has for you. His individual provisions of love just for you. Maybe they don’t come in the package of a husband and kids. I know people who feel they are in a loveless marriage, or whose kids have gone astray and aren‘t very loving. I know people who are widowed, or still seeking someone special. Does that mean they are without love? Never. Not when they worship the One who loved them first. Will love them second, will love them third. Will love them forever and ever. For the simple fact that He created you just so He could love you. Simple. Whether people pick you as a “favorite” doesn’t matter. God will always pick you. You are His unique and special creation and He knows your name!
God as a best friend? You betcha. No one else wants the job of loving you here on earth? Let Him love you. And love yourself. There you go. Two best friends. Still feeling alone?
Monday, February 18, 2013
Friends and Favorites
I know I've mentioned this topic before, but in studying the book of James with some friends, it came up again. The verse that started it all:
"My brothers, as believers in our glorious Lord Jesus Christ, don't show favoritism." James 2:1
We then opened it up for discussion. What does this mean? Favoritism. Favoring one person or group of people over another, based on economic status, in this situation. But favoring a person or certain people can be glaringly obvious in many situations. Think about the problems it causes when the teacher picks a "favorite" student. The coach picks a favorite player. The family has a favorite member. Being the favorite would be the spot in which you don't notice there is a problem, I suppose, but most of us end up on the other end of that. I know I have. I still do.
Probably one of my least favorite forms of favoritism lies in the phrase, "best friend". Otherwise known as "bestie", "BFF", and probably others, this is how it sounds to the ear of the non-bestie: "You are my friend, but something you do or a part of who you are is just not good enough for me. This person, however, possesses all the qualities that I feel are worthy in a person and therefore, he or she is my "best" friend. There will be no chances for us to grow any closer in the future, because I already have all I need in this friend. The "best" one, that is, and you will feel small in comparison when she is around because I will go on and on about her to you.Oh, and don't even think of my kids ever calling you "auntie". Someone already has that title. It's my "bestie". Sounds harsh? Just let it sink in. Just a bit. Maybe you'll see what I mean. Eventually. I actually hope you do.
I always wonder, does the person with the so-called "best friend" also have a "best" child too? Or perhaps do they already possess an ability to love 2 or more people for the qualities they already possess. Maybe it doesn't have anything to do with loving one more than another at all. Maybe they just fail to see the obvious good qualities in others because they are too focused on one person, giving that one person all they have. Their best. Exclusive. Favored.
I think I can figure out how to have a few good friends and give all of them my best. I think I can see each friend in their own beautiful light and love them because they are unique. Because they relate to me in their own way. It doesn't matter to me whether I've known you for 30 years or for 30 days. My mind is open to possibilities in every relationship. I believe in close friends. Friends who share intimate information. Confide in each other. Trust each other. Have each other's backs. Listen, understand, and care when they hurt. I can say with certainty that the number of friends that fit this description in my life is small. Very small. The friends I spend time with are friends that I love and would do anything for. But I'm sorry. None of you are my "best". Because I love you all for your differences and for the beauty you bring into my life. Because I wouldn't want any of you to ever feel "second best", the way I have felt before.
If you have shown me kindness, smiled at me, asked about my kids, or prayed for me, you are my friend. If you lie to me, snub me (and you know who you are. Shame on you), or disregard my feelings, you won't be my friend for very long. That's too bad, because when I call you friend, I mean it. And when I walk away, I mean that too.
God does not play favorites. And neither should we. We need to treat people the way we want to be treated, and not allow ourselves to "classify" people of any kind, friends or not.
"My brothers, as believers in our glorious Lord Jesus Christ, don't show favoritism." James 2:1
We then opened it up for discussion. What does this mean? Favoritism. Favoring one person or group of people over another, based on economic status, in this situation. But favoring a person or certain people can be glaringly obvious in many situations. Think about the problems it causes when the teacher picks a "favorite" student. The coach picks a favorite player. The family has a favorite member. Being the favorite would be the spot in which you don't notice there is a problem, I suppose, but most of us end up on the other end of that. I know I have. I still do.
Probably one of my least favorite forms of favoritism lies in the phrase, "best friend". Otherwise known as "bestie", "BFF", and probably others, this is how it sounds to the ear of the non-bestie: "You are my friend, but something you do or a part of who you are is just not good enough for me. This person, however, possesses all the qualities that I feel are worthy in a person and therefore, he or she is my "best" friend. There will be no chances for us to grow any closer in the future, because I already have all I need in this friend. The "best" one, that is, and you will feel small in comparison when she is around because I will go on and on about her to you.Oh, and don't even think of my kids ever calling you "auntie". Someone already has that title. It's my "bestie". Sounds harsh? Just let it sink in. Just a bit. Maybe you'll see what I mean. Eventually. I actually hope you do.
I always wonder, does the person with the so-called "best friend" also have a "best" child too? Or perhaps do they already possess an ability to love 2 or more people for the qualities they already possess. Maybe it doesn't have anything to do with loving one more than another at all. Maybe they just fail to see the obvious good qualities in others because they are too focused on one person, giving that one person all they have. Their best. Exclusive. Favored.
I think I can figure out how to have a few good friends and give all of them my best. I think I can see each friend in their own beautiful light and love them because they are unique. Because they relate to me in their own way. It doesn't matter to me whether I've known you for 30 years or for 30 days. My mind is open to possibilities in every relationship. I believe in close friends. Friends who share intimate information. Confide in each other. Trust each other. Have each other's backs. Listen, understand, and care when they hurt. I can say with certainty that the number of friends that fit this description in my life is small. Very small. The friends I spend time with are friends that I love and would do anything for. But I'm sorry. None of you are my "best". Because I love you all for your differences and for the beauty you bring into my life. Because I wouldn't want any of you to ever feel "second best", the way I have felt before.
If you have shown me kindness, smiled at me, asked about my kids, or prayed for me, you are my friend. If you lie to me, snub me (and you know who you are. Shame on you), or disregard my feelings, you won't be my friend for very long. That's too bad, because when I call you friend, I mean it. And when I walk away, I mean that too.
God does not play favorites. And neither should we. We need to treat people the way we want to be treated, and not allow ourselves to "classify" people of any kind, friends or not.
Sunday, February 17, 2013
A Perfect Day
Hubby and I, along with Angel (blending in with snow!) went for a nice walk in the snowy woods yesterday...
Stopped for a photo or two...
burned off the muffins I made us for breakfast...apple streusel...
and stopped to mark the trail...which the dog ran through right after!
It was a beautiful day to walk in the woods, with the snow lightly falling, the dog running happily, holding my hubby's hand and listening to nothing but silence. Peace and quiet. With the ones I love. My idea of a perfect day.
Saturday, February 16, 2013
Fixer Upper?
What do you think of my new dream home?
The inside could use a little work....but I found part of a dryer and a barrel! Repurpose!
Probably should wash that window....no broken glass though!
Couldn't resist the skylights, central air, and location!
Actually, this is a building on our property. We're a little curious about what it was once used for. We know there used to be a house, barn, and strawberry farm pretty close to where our house stands now. I'm going to do a little research and see what I can find out about this little "fixer upper".
Friday, February 15, 2013
Birthday Girl 15
Birthday cake: made by me
Birthday Dinner: Fettucine Alfredo with shrimp and fresh tomatoes on top!
Birthday Girl with new keyboard! Singing as usual...love it!
Birthday Entertainment..."One Night Only: natalie!"
Best Birthday Smile!
Happy 15th Birthday, Natalie, our beautiful daughter...Funny, talented, smart, and creative! We love ya, Bubba!
Thursday, February 14, 2013
Stinkin' Turkeys
Anyway, I cautiously took Angel outside and she simply sniffed around and ignored all the droppings! My girl is growin' up! No rollin' in turkey poo for her...no way! I did happen to notice we were visited by rabbits as well, and I think she may have sampled the rabbit "fare" just a tad. I think she learned her lesson. Let's hope so.
Even so, it's still pretty cool to live in the woods and check out the wildlife while washing undies. Don't ya think?
Wednesday, February 13, 2013
Sniffly Snout
I'm rockin' a cold this week. Got the red nose, puffy eyes, ever-present kleenex, and a cool,deep, Demi Moore-like voice to boot! I know this is weird, but I love to sing when I have a cold. I kind of sound like Elvis and Adele, mixed together. Cool, I know. :) So, while I am decorating Nat's birthday cake (shhh...still a secret!), I will be jacked up on Vicks, singing some sultry tune by aforementioned artists. I love bedtime when I have a cold. I take a shot of the 'quil and wait for the loopy feeling to come. It's great! Breathing and sleeping. At the same time!
Trying to have a good attitude through it all....got a busy week, feel icky, making a symphony out of my sneezes and biting cough drops like candy.
I just love me on cold medicine. Don't you?
Trying to have a good attitude through it all....got a busy week, feel icky, making a symphony out of my sneezes and biting cough drops like candy.
I just love me on cold medicine. Don't you?
Friday, February 8, 2013
Life Out Here
It snowed. A lot. Everyone's talking about it. Except for me. Yes, it snowed. It's February. Isn't that what it's supposed to do? I don't know, maybe it's me, but I expect it to snow in the winter. In Michigan. In February. Maybe I'm just a cynic and the rest of you are with it. Either way. It snowed. A lot. And I don't care. Dog loves it and I love that she loves it so much. Keeps me smiling.
Serena's ankle is better after minor sprain, and she MAY be able to play in Monday's game. She's starting PT on Monday morning, so we'll see what he/she has to say first. She hasn't complained about her knee at all, and so far her shoulder is holding up okay too. A few tests revealed she has bursitis in one shoulder....ugh. Another "itis" in the family. Anyway, she's doing better. Could be worse..don't think I haven't thought of that.
I found a couple of heat packs in Nat's bed this morning and knew before I asked the reason why. Her back has been causing her more and more pain. Although we tease her about being a "big baby", she actually doesn't complain too much about her back at all. As surgery day gets closer, we're all getting our minds set on what is to come. After dislocating her shoulder a couple of times, she's now pretty cautious about her activities. Her old coach, who is now the varsity basketball coach has said he wants her back on the "team". Meaning, she can come and hang with them anytime she wants. God is good. And me? Still small. The way it should be....
Steve has had some medical wake up calls (again), and I had to have a heart to heart, knee to knee, eye to eye conversation. In short, I need him. The girls need him. The Detroit Lions need him. Get it together. Life gets a little scarier when I realize we are in our 40's now. Shorter too. Life, that is.
Speaking of getting it together, I have been organizing nearly everything in the kitchen. I have started actually reading my "flylady" emails and have started following a couple of organizing blogs. My cabinets and drawers are looking pretty fabulous, but now I have a bunch of other stuff to find homes for. Which means piles...piles...piles..sigh. Do I want to have another garage sale? Not so much.
Next week is full of games, Valentine's Day, and Nat's 15th birthday! I will be busy coming up with her theme, a cake, and of course, what to get her. Anything music is pretty safe. She wants a drum set. Isn't she hilarious?? :) Actually, I wish we could get her one! Doesn't that just prove how crazy I really am?? Like with the snow, I don't care. :)
So that's about it for life out here. For fun pics of my dog, check out her blog over there to the right and up a bit.....and have a great weekend!
Serena's ankle is better after minor sprain, and she MAY be able to play in Monday's game. She's starting PT on Monday morning, so we'll see what he/she has to say first. She hasn't complained about her knee at all, and so far her shoulder is holding up okay too. A few tests revealed she has bursitis in one shoulder....ugh. Another "itis" in the family. Anyway, she's doing better. Could be worse..don't think I haven't thought of that.
I found a couple of heat packs in Nat's bed this morning and knew before I asked the reason why. Her back has been causing her more and more pain. Although we tease her about being a "big baby", she actually doesn't complain too much about her back at all. As surgery day gets closer, we're all getting our minds set on what is to come. After dislocating her shoulder a couple of times, she's now pretty cautious about her activities. Her old coach, who is now the varsity basketball coach has said he wants her back on the "team". Meaning, she can come and hang with them anytime she wants. God is good. And me? Still small. The way it should be....
Steve has had some medical wake up calls (again), and I had to have a heart to heart, knee to knee, eye to eye conversation. In short, I need him. The girls need him. The Detroit Lions need him. Get it together. Life gets a little scarier when I realize we are in our 40's now. Shorter too. Life, that is.
Speaking of getting it together, I have been organizing nearly everything in the kitchen. I have started actually reading my "flylady" emails and have started following a couple of organizing blogs. My cabinets and drawers are looking pretty fabulous, but now I have a bunch of other stuff to find homes for. Which means piles...piles...piles..sigh. Do I want to have another garage sale? Not so much.
Next week is full of games, Valentine's Day, and Nat's 15th birthday! I will be busy coming up with her theme, a cake, and of course, what to get her. Anything music is pretty safe. She wants a drum set. Isn't she hilarious?? :) Actually, I wish we could get her one! Doesn't that just prove how crazy I really am?? Like with the snow, I don't care. :)
So that's about it for life out here. For fun pics of my dog, check out her blog over there to the right and up a bit.....and have a great weekend!
Monday, February 4, 2013
Super stupor Bowl
Well, the "StuporBowl" was more exciting than I thought it would be....that Jalapeno Popper Dip was dyno-mite! The girls had some friends over (boys were too chicken to come..righfully so!), and it turned out to be lots of fun. We even watched the game! Sometimes I wish we had more kids....then I remember how hard it is to just keep track of the two I have! Here they are with Angel....
I just love all their faces! When they left, you couldn't even tell anyone had been here. So different from when they were little and dragged everything out! Angel is doing so much better with strangers too! It's a miracle, let me tell you...still a ways to go on that! But the progress she's made is amazing.
By the way, I absolutely can't stand that 15 year old loveseat. It's in our family room and I want it gone! Steve won't let me....it's reclining....as if anyone has time for reclining!! One of these days....that loveseat and I are gonna have a duel. And I'm gonna win....sorry, I digress...
Saturday, February 2, 2013
StuporBowl Ready
It's Superbowl time again...or shall I call it what it is to me...."Stuporbowl". Watching football for hours...teams I don't even follow....commercials that aren't that funny...sitting in a chair eating carbs....it all puts me in a stupor. Hence, "stuporbowl". Everyone should use the word "hence" at least once a year, I think.
Since we don't do anything special for Stuporbowl, except eat cool stuff, it's really just a relaxing Sunday evening for me. I catch up on my reading, do my nails, fill empty bowls of chips, and surf the net. Once in awhile I look at the screen and jump up, yelling, "get him! Get him!". No, not really, but it sounded good, right? I don't care if anyone "gets" anyone, really.
I'm working on the menu today, which includes bacon cheeseburger sliders, lasagna (with Steve's homemade sausage), Texas sheet cake, jalapeno popper spread, chips, favorite candy, and Coke Zero for me! It really is all about the food. No chicken wings here, though. It's an awful lot of work for such a little bite. No beer either...hey, I just realized why no one wants to come over!
Who is coming over remains a bit of a mystery so far, as we've allowed the girls to invite some friends. Natalie has girl and guy friends and lots of them, so she asked to invite a couple of boys too. Hmmm..well, why not? It's not like they will be off by themselves. I have a few jobs they could do around here too...jk..:) I'm not sure if they're coming, but there will be a few extra girls here, and it should be fun. We're not into "real" gambling, but we do a scoreboard thingy where whoever wins the quarter gets candy! It just keeps us all watching, I guess. Except for me, of course, I just eat the candy when no one is looking. Or if they are looking. Either way. I get candy.
So I hope you have as much fun as I will be having, whatever you do. Maybe you have to go to a Stuporbowl party and actually watch the game with "the guys". Maybe you hide in the kitchen with "the girls". Maybe you "get a migraine" and have to stay home while your husband goes to the party....my favorite excuse so far. :) Maybe you fall asleep in the middle of it...or God forbid, turn the channel and watch Hallmark movies.
Hmmm...I'm just not Superbowl material, am I? But I make a mean spread of food, no doubt about it!
Since we don't do anything special for Stuporbowl, except eat cool stuff, it's really just a relaxing Sunday evening for me. I catch up on my reading, do my nails, fill empty bowls of chips, and surf the net. Once in awhile I look at the screen and jump up, yelling, "get him! Get him!". No, not really, but it sounded good, right? I don't care if anyone "gets" anyone, really.
I'm working on the menu today, which includes bacon cheeseburger sliders, lasagna (with Steve's homemade sausage), Texas sheet cake, jalapeno popper spread, chips, favorite candy, and Coke Zero for me! It really is all about the food. No chicken wings here, though. It's an awful lot of work for such a little bite. No beer either...hey, I just realized why no one wants to come over!
Who is coming over remains a bit of a mystery so far, as we've allowed the girls to invite some friends. Natalie has girl and guy friends and lots of them, so she asked to invite a couple of boys too. Hmmm..well, why not? It's not like they will be off by themselves. I have a few jobs they could do around here too...jk..:) I'm not sure if they're coming, but there will be a few extra girls here, and it should be fun. We're not into "real" gambling, but we do a scoreboard thingy where whoever wins the quarter gets candy! It just keeps us all watching, I guess. Except for me, of course, I just eat the candy when no one is looking. Or if they are looking. Either way. I get candy.
So I hope you have as much fun as I will be having, whatever you do. Maybe you have to go to a Stuporbowl party and actually watch the game with "the guys". Maybe you hide in the kitchen with "the girls". Maybe you "get a migraine" and have to stay home while your husband goes to the party....my favorite excuse so far. :) Maybe you fall asleep in the middle of it...or God forbid, turn the channel and watch Hallmark movies.
Hmmm...I'm just not Superbowl material, am I? But I make a mean spread of food, no doubt about it!
Friday, February 1, 2013
Big God, Little me
First of all, thank you, GOD, for helping me figure out how to unfollow blogs...:) it turns out I had to be in a certain browser to do it properly! Secondly, my previous blog may have been just a bit whiny (sp?) and I don't care. I have been feeling pretty down about some things lately, and it just seems like I can't get ahead! I can't win! I'm so "Charlie Brown-ed" out! I've "had it". I'm "done"! Just when I think things are better, something else happens.
I'm running out of patience. I'm not sure I had enough to begin with! These are the challenging times in my life where trusting God with my life is the most difficult. When things are going well, I'm praising and quoting scripture! When I am losing hope, I get quiet. This is so backwards and I know it. Don't get me wrong. I thank God every day for who He is. I thank Him for sustaining me even when I don't think I can take one more thing. I thank Him for working in my life though it's in His timing and I may have to continue to wait. And hope.And pray. And keep my eyes on Him and not my problems. So hard to do....that's why we need Him. It's why I need Him.
I know He doesn't give as the world does. That's the hardest thing to grasp sometimes. I sometimes fail to understand the love God has for me and so I lose sight of what He is trying to do through me and in me. I forget that I am here for Him and not for me. I fail. A lot.
And yet if I believe what I read in the Bible (and I do), then I have to know that everything's going to work out the way it's supposed to, even when it makes no sense to me at all. Trust. Faith. Hope. Small words. Huge meanings. Big God. Little me.
I'm running out of patience. I'm not sure I had enough to begin with! These are the challenging times in my life where trusting God with my life is the most difficult. When things are going well, I'm praising and quoting scripture! When I am losing hope, I get quiet. This is so backwards and I know it. Don't get me wrong. I thank God every day for who He is. I thank Him for sustaining me even when I don't think I can take one more thing. I thank Him for working in my life though it's in His timing and I may have to continue to wait. And hope.And pray. And keep my eyes on Him and not my problems. So hard to do....that's why we need Him. It's why I need Him.
I know He doesn't give as the world does. That's the hardest thing to grasp sometimes. I sometimes fail to understand the love God has for me and so I lose sight of what He is trying to do through me and in me. I forget that I am here for Him and not for me. I fail. A lot.
And yet if I believe what I read in the Bible (and I do), then I have to know that everything's going to work out the way it's supposed to, even when it makes no sense to me at all. Trust. Faith. Hope. Small words. Huge meanings. Big God. Little me.