You

There is an innate desire in each one of us to be liked by everyone. It's no wonder we walk around wounded so much. That's just not possible. Another thing that is difficult to do is to form thick skin. When I think of thick skin, I think of my daughter's 17" scar down the middle of her back. It took a lot of pain, a lot of frustration, and a lot of emotional toll to build that thick skin. And like she says now, "I am titanium." And as the popular song goes, "Shoot me down, but I won't fall. I am titanium."

Oh, to be strong like that and let no one's opinion of you even touch the surface! To be able to not only thumb your nose at it, but to not even notice it at all when someone is being rude or ambivalent about you. To be so rooted, so grounded in who you know yourself to be, that you don't really care what others think of you.

I don't get so annoyed when people I don't regard as friends anyway treat me as if I am invisible. I probably don't pay them much attention either, though I've been kind to those who treat me like I'm gum on their shoe. Those are people who must be very self-serving, because they only seek out people who can give THEM something. I don't have room for that. I have a lot to give, but I don't "throw my pearls to pigs". I get hurt easily because I take chances on people who don't appreciate it. Then I'm the one who feels bad. How many people have taken a chance on you? I'll bet you can count it on one hand. It's just the way we are as people. And it's sad.

Then there are those who claim to be all sister Christian and I love everybody, but when it comes to you....flat line. They seem to "like" everyone on facebook even! Except for anything you post. Oh, I know...it shouldn't matter, and it doesn't reflect what they really think...maybe they're just not on that much....or maybe they block you behind your back and are sweet to your face.  The thing is, you never know where you stand with these people. Because they really don't care enough to show you. So, back to the first statement. Why do we have such a problem with not being liked?

Oh, it's not that I'm in a mood as I write this. It's that reality, even on a godly level, is not easy for anyone to swallow. Do we all need thicker skins? Probably, but sometimes I've seen thick skin that lets no one in, and that's worse.  Some of us bring our childhoods into the future with us, and that can be a barrier to learning to love ourselves the way we are now. Some things are hard to overcome and it takes time. One of the reasons the Bible reminds us to put others ahead of ourselves IS because some of us are broken. It takes unbroken people to realize that, if they care. That's why it annoys me when people say, "oh, you have nothing I need, so I'm moving on." or "we have nothing in common. I need people like me around." It's pretty selfish to seek out friends based only on what you need instead of what you have to offer them.

That's exactly what leads to "cliques" in grade school, and yet we do it as adults too. Do you ever remind your kids or yourself to reach outside of their own circle? Why not? It is a risk. We don't want to get "dirty". We don't want to be let down. See? It turns into all about us. And yet Christ, in His perfection, reached out to those no one else would associate with. And He is WAY better than any of us.

So am I annoyed that "you" stopped following my blog because "you" think I have nothing to offer "you"? Yes. But it's because in your narrowness, you are missing something I actually think you lack. You think you have it. You don't. Learn from some of us "broken", we have more to offer than you give us credit for. Again, your loss.