It's that time of year again, and I'm planning some fun things for our family to do around Christmas time. One of them is our annual trip to Frankenmuth this weekend. Bronner's and chicken dinner. What could be better? Oh, it gets better....
I'm also planning a theme movie night! I've chosen on of my favorites, "It's a Wonderful Life". I love the theme of this movie and think it is so relevant to my two teens. I want them to know that their lives will never be insignificant, no matter how small or defeated they may feel. I want them to know that the kindness of friends and even strangers will be there for them in their times of need. I want them to know that while money is important, helping others is even more important. I want them to know that they are never alone if they have a friend, and that they are far from ordinary. I have some fun plans to lighten this theme up, including some fun favors and a few games. I will be making them a nice meal and offering candy from the 40's. It will be a fun time for sure, whether they think so or not. These are the things they will remember long after they leave home.
And that's not all! I have other things planned, such as the traditional trimming of the tree, baking cookies, caroling, and our light tour. Notice shopping isn't on the list?? I'm hoping to do very little shopping and more hand-making of gifts again this year. I am excited to do our annual Christmas card photo shoot and even more excited for the first significant snow! This is when I open both side doors on the van, open up the windows, blast the Christmas music and "sleigh" us down the driveway! I'm so glad for a nice long driveway!
Sure we have a couple concerts on the list, a church thing or two, but I've got to be honest, sitting on the couch flanked by my family, drinking cocoa, and watching Charlie Brown for the millionth time is my idea of the best Christmas activity ever!! I can't worry about the money and the gifts and the lack of time. I can only try to make Christmas the best family-filled time I can and give my girls memories for a lifetime.
Merry Christmas to you a little early. Maybe the bug has bitten me a bit early this year. I think I'll ride this wave...it's feeling good!
Wednesday, November 20, 2013
Monday, November 18, 2013
Aisle 15
The four of us went to dinner and stopped at a store afterwards to find some things to make a fox costume. It went fairly quickly at the store, so we were milling around different departments separately, and then would bump back into each other again, only to wander off separately again. We do this often, with the stipulation that the girls always stay together and don't engage with strangers, even the cute teen boy variety!
Usually we text back and forth to let each other know where we are or if we're ready to leave. I love this luxury of having teens and being able to shop uninterrupted again, however, I still like knowing where they are at all times.
The girls were looking at Christmas things with me one minute, then gone the next. Steve had gone off to hardware or hunting, so I stuck around for a bit until Steve came back. I assumed the girls had gone to look at makeup as they often do, but they weren't in the makeup aisle. Or the music aisle...or the clothes...or the books...or the crafts....or the grocery. They didn't seem to be anywhere!
Steve and I didn't panic at first. They are known to get distracted looking at something, or playing a video game display, losing track of time quickly. But as time went on, and the store grew emptier and quieter, I started to secretly panic. The first text message went out to Natalie, the only one with a working phone right now. "Where R U?" No reply. I called. Went directly to message. Ok, I don't like that one bit, so I'm starting to get that wild-eyed mom look about me, and Steve, Mr. Calm, could tell. After 10 more minutes of thinly veiled panicked searching, I urged him to have the girls paged.
My mind was going there. Kidnapped. Assaulted. Abducted. Sold into a human trafficking ring. Drugged. Hurt. Gone!! So as we waited for the extremely slooooowww lady in line at the customer service desk, I am as anxious as can be. If I would have gone up there, I would have interrupted for sure! Steve is so calm. I am a basket case. Inside, of course. I wouldn't want to overreact. Snicker...
So, the girls were paged and we waited at aisle 15 for their hopeful arrival. This was the longest they had ever gone missing in a store, and as my mind went there, it began to feel even more wrong. I had all kinds of scenarios in my head. I was trying to remember what they were wearing. I was thinking, "why do my girls have to be so beautiful? It's just not safe out there!"
As I stood there, eagle-eyed in all directions, they appeared, smiling and giggling to each other. As I placed my hand over my wrecked heart and sighed, they giggled even more. "Mom, you had us paged! It was so embarrassing!" I went on to tell them how freaked out we were getting, and Natalie said, "oh, we're sorry. My phone was dead, so I left it home". Ugh!
"Were you worried someone was going to "get us"? Serena asked. Because they wouldn't mess with this," and she flexed her puny arms. One thing she is right about is that they would fight to the death for each other and they would scream like crazy. Serena may look thin, but she is an animal when you try to fight her. I've tried....:)
So, what were those silly girls doing all that time? They were in the toy aisle, playing with dinosaurs, spiderman, swords, and trying on bike helmets!! And taking pictures and video of it all. I have to admit, I did laugh pretty hard watching their dinosaur fight go down.
I can't believe it, but neither Steve nor I thought to look in the toy aisle!! Steve said he did go down there, but they must have been on the end or something.
Their punishment? Now they have to "hold mommy's hand" whenever we get to the store. Yeah, that will work!!
Usually we text back and forth to let each other know where we are or if we're ready to leave. I love this luxury of having teens and being able to shop uninterrupted again, however, I still like knowing where they are at all times.
The girls were looking at Christmas things with me one minute, then gone the next. Steve had gone off to hardware or hunting, so I stuck around for a bit until Steve came back. I assumed the girls had gone to look at makeup as they often do, but they weren't in the makeup aisle. Or the music aisle...or the clothes...or the books...or the crafts....or the grocery. They didn't seem to be anywhere!
Steve and I didn't panic at first. They are known to get distracted looking at something, or playing a video game display, losing track of time quickly. But as time went on, and the store grew emptier and quieter, I started to secretly panic. The first text message went out to Natalie, the only one with a working phone right now. "Where R U?" No reply. I called. Went directly to message. Ok, I don't like that one bit, so I'm starting to get that wild-eyed mom look about me, and Steve, Mr. Calm, could tell. After 10 more minutes of thinly veiled panicked searching, I urged him to have the girls paged.
My mind was going there. Kidnapped. Assaulted. Abducted. Sold into a human trafficking ring. Drugged. Hurt. Gone!! So as we waited for the extremely slooooowww lady in line at the customer service desk, I am as anxious as can be. If I would have gone up there, I would have interrupted for sure! Steve is so calm. I am a basket case. Inside, of course. I wouldn't want to overreact. Snicker...
So, the girls were paged and we waited at aisle 15 for their hopeful arrival. This was the longest they had ever gone missing in a store, and as my mind went there, it began to feel even more wrong. I had all kinds of scenarios in my head. I was trying to remember what they were wearing. I was thinking, "why do my girls have to be so beautiful? It's just not safe out there!"
As I stood there, eagle-eyed in all directions, they appeared, smiling and giggling to each other. As I placed my hand over my wrecked heart and sighed, they giggled even more. "Mom, you had us paged! It was so embarrassing!" I went on to tell them how freaked out we were getting, and Natalie said, "oh, we're sorry. My phone was dead, so I left it home". Ugh!
"Were you worried someone was going to "get us"? Serena asked. Because they wouldn't mess with this," and she flexed her puny arms. One thing she is right about is that they would fight to the death for each other and they would scream like crazy. Serena may look thin, but she is an animal when you try to fight her. I've tried....:)
So, what were those silly girls doing all that time? They were in the toy aisle, playing with dinosaurs, spiderman, swords, and trying on bike helmets!! And taking pictures and video of it all. I have to admit, I did laugh pretty hard watching their dinosaur fight go down.
I can't believe it, but neither Steve nor I thought to look in the toy aisle!! Steve said he did go down there, but they must have been on the end or something.
Their punishment? Now they have to "hold mommy's hand" whenever we get to the store. Yeah, that will work!!
Wednesday, November 13, 2013
It's Mom's Birthday!
Today is a busy day! I am making my mom's birthday cake for a celebration tonight at her house. Of course, I have to run out and get some last minute ingredients...ugh. BUT, I have an exciting gift to present to her, and for that, I am very happy. Mom, if there is any chance you're reading this, stop now or you'll ruin your surprise.
I asked our family a couple of weeks ago, to come up with some memories they have of mom/grandma/aunt... the plan was to combine all the memories and present them to her as a gift. Silly me, I really thought they would do it! My sister replied with 10 good memories, and my brother Jeff came up with a whopping 13! This shocked me, as he started out by saying, "I don't remember anything...can you give me some hints?" Aaargh! :)
BUT, it turns out that those 23 memories, plus a few from me and my girls are just enough. The heck with the rest of you slackers, is what I say. They will just miss out on the blessing. Can I help but be annoyed, perturbed, disappointed? No, I can't. Mom has bent over backwards for all of these who chose not to participate. It is disgusting and I would tell them so, if they didn't already not speak to me anyway. God, I love family. Tee Hee
I am ashamed to say that while I was praying the other day, I did tell God that I didn't understand why he gave me the family I have. (extended family, and I mean a handful of those) Didn't he get my request? Didn't he know that I wanted the Walton's? I needed the Walton's!! And believe me, I get so mad at them that I totally lose any "Walton" I may have inside. You get what you get, apparently. Sigh. Don't get me wrong. I love them. I just don't know how we could be related sometimes. :) Cuz I'm just so perfect, you know....
Anyway, I have lots of nice memories, a cake on the way, a beautiful card, hugs galore, and a wonderful evening planned with my mom. I would have chosen her all over again. Dad can come too. A few would be allowed on my "mountain".....very few.
Happy 70th birthday to my beautiful blessed Mom!!
I asked our family a couple of weeks ago, to come up with some memories they have of mom/grandma/aunt... the plan was to combine all the memories and present them to her as a gift. Silly me, I really thought they would do it! My sister replied with 10 good memories, and my brother Jeff came up with a whopping 13! This shocked me, as he started out by saying, "I don't remember anything...can you give me some hints?" Aaargh! :)
BUT, it turns out that those 23 memories, plus a few from me and my girls are just enough. The heck with the rest of you slackers, is what I say. They will just miss out on the blessing. Can I help but be annoyed, perturbed, disappointed? No, I can't. Mom has bent over backwards for all of these who chose not to participate. It is disgusting and I would tell them so, if they didn't already not speak to me anyway. God, I love family. Tee Hee
I am ashamed to say that while I was praying the other day, I did tell God that I didn't understand why he gave me the family I have. (extended family, and I mean a handful of those) Didn't he get my request? Didn't he know that I wanted the Walton's? I needed the Walton's!! And believe me, I get so mad at them that I totally lose any "Walton" I may have inside. You get what you get, apparently. Sigh. Don't get me wrong. I love them. I just don't know how we could be related sometimes. :) Cuz I'm just so perfect, you know....
Anyway, I have lots of nice memories, a cake on the way, a beautiful card, hugs galore, and a wonderful evening planned with my mom. I would have chosen her all over again. Dad can come too. A few would be allowed on my "mountain".....very few.
Happy 70th birthday to my beautiful blessed Mom!!
Tuesday, November 12, 2013
Focus on the "what".
Thanksgiving Day. Will I be shopping? Are you kidding me? NO! I won't be shopping the day after either. I have no desire to watch what I can only call, "the greed show". I'm sorry if you're a big deal hunter on that day. I don't mean to call you greedy! But the general air, when I see people running. RUNNING! with shopping carts, two or more of them- I can only become sick to my stomach. And that was a bad bunch of sentence structure. Who cares.
Anyway, this whole business, and I mean business of having your stores open ON Thanksgiving is just deplorable to me. Do we ever get a rest? Is it ever about family or is it about bargains? Do we ever stop, hesitate, ponder, enjoy, relish in the time we have on holidays, or are we just worried about the next day already? Are we so worried about getting the "deal", that we put our material gain ahead of people? People who are there for the long haul. That gift you're chasing will be forgotten in a week, a day, a month....a minute. The people won't.
I don't mean to poo poo the idea of saving money, I just think Christmas has already been so commercial, why do we need to amp it up even more? Does it really matter that you got the Legos for $10 less? Did it help you buy more of something you need, or did it just make you buy more junk that your kids will forget or not appreciate? Impulse buying. Greed. Gluttony. Overspending. Overeating. Wasting time. Wasting gas. And for what??
Maybe it's the "what" that we all need to focus on. Why do you spend 12 or more hours shopping for deals? Is it because you enjoy giving that much? Is it because you pinch pennies? Is it because secretly you're a compulsive shopper and this gives you free reign? Is it for a more noble reason- that you are on a fixed income and it's the only way to save money and still be able to provide gifts? Or maybe you buy toys for charities. Focus on the "what". Don't just focus on the deal.
Don't just do the whole shopping thing because you think you're missing out on the most fabulous deal in the world ever. Advertising is a great lie. It is meant to make you believe you need things you don't need! It's there to pull you in and take your money. Remember that. Sometimes these shopping trips are a bonding time with your friends or family. Sometimes what you end up with is witnessing the rudest people ever. And my friends, I can't stand that!! I would much rather spend a little more, buy a few less gifts, and keep my peace. I don't mind spending money on people I love. I really don't. I'm pretty disciplined about gift-buying. I've had to be. Just because you have more money doesn't mean you should be spending it. Especially on massive amounts of gifts for your kids, who believe me, will only play with one or two things they really like. The rest is overwhelming.
I am speaking from experience here. I'm not just spouting off today. The best gifts I have given my daughters have been made by my hand. TIME is the best gift. Family movie night is a gift. Sledding is a gift. There is so much we can give to others that doesn't involve leaving them on Thanksgiving in search of the "perfect gift" or the best "deal". The best deal is spending your time with that family you love so much.
Focus on the "what".
Anyway, this whole business, and I mean business of having your stores open ON Thanksgiving is just deplorable to me. Do we ever get a rest? Is it ever about family or is it about bargains? Do we ever stop, hesitate, ponder, enjoy, relish in the time we have on holidays, or are we just worried about the next day already? Are we so worried about getting the "deal", that we put our material gain ahead of people? People who are there for the long haul. That gift you're chasing will be forgotten in a week, a day, a month....a minute. The people won't.
I don't mean to poo poo the idea of saving money, I just think Christmas has already been so commercial, why do we need to amp it up even more? Does it really matter that you got the Legos for $10 less? Did it help you buy more of something you need, or did it just make you buy more junk that your kids will forget or not appreciate? Impulse buying. Greed. Gluttony. Overspending. Overeating. Wasting time. Wasting gas. And for what??
Maybe it's the "what" that we all need to focus on. Why do you spend 12 or more hours shopping for deals? Is it because you enjoy giving that much? Is it because you pinch pennies? Is it because secretly you're a compulsive shopper and this gives you free reign? Is it for a more noble reason- that you are on a fixed income and it's the only way to save money and still be able to provide gifts? Or maybe you buy toys for charities. Focus on the "what". Don't just focus on the deal.
Don't just do the whole shopping thing because you think you're missing out on the most fabulous deal in the world ever. Advertising is a great lie. It is meant to make you believe you need things you don't need! It's there to pull you in and take your money. Remember that. Sometimes these shopping trips are a bonding time with your friends or family. Sometimes what you end up with is witnessing the rudest people ever. And my friends, I can't stand that!! I would much rather spend a little more, buy a few less gifts, and keep my peace. I don't mind spending money on people I love. I really don't. I'm pretty disciplined about gift-buying. I've had to be. Just because you have more money doesn't mean you should be spending it. Especially on massive amounts of gifts for your kids, who believe me, will only play with one or two things they really like. The rest is overwhelming.
I am speaking from experience here. I'm not just spouting off today. The best gifts I have given my daughters have been made by my hand. TIME is the best gift. Family movie night is a gift. Sledding is a gift. There is so much we can give to others that doesn't involve leaving them on Thanksgiving in search of the "perfect gift" or the best "deal". The best deal is spending your time with that family you love so much.
Focus on the "what".
Sunday, November 10, 2013
Thankful
Our "30 Days of Thanksgiving" Project is going much better than I first anticipated. We're on day 10, and everyone is caught up. Well, most everyone. Natalie has proved to be quite the procrastinator. On Day 7, she was thankful for "hand sanitizer". That kills me, really. The child hates the thought of getting sick, or anyone around her getting sick. Thinking someone might be sick in the house puts her in quite a dither, to say the least. She will avoid the suspect at all costs. So, yes. Thank God for sanitizer. Sheesh. I'm thankful it comes in really good-smelling scents these days. Who knew "pumpkin cupcake" scented sanitizer could save the world? Or at least Natalie's world...
Serena was thankful for "grammar" yesterday. Who knows what brought that about. She's the world's youngest English teacher, apparently. I just found that so amusing. And cool. I'm a word nerd, and though it's been awhile since I've studied grammar, I still remember her. She was a kind lady who made wonderful pies...
And Steve, he's keeping it real with his list. He was thankful for the dinner I made the other night. Roast Turkey breast with stuffing, mashed potatoes, gravy, squash, and rolls. All homemade. This followed the apple and pumpkin pies I had made a couple days beforehand. He might be thankful for my cooking, but I'm not sure what he'll think of his belt size next week. Or mine. Yikes!
Angel has been thankful too. For toys, treats, fresh water, sisters, and "crust bones" on pizza night. She appreciates everything, that happy little thing.
And what was I thankful for today? My thankful family. Yesterday I wrote "Saturdays", although I spent the entire day with a migraine, and so it wasn't my favorite day after all. But the best part was when my family walked through the door. Maybe I should have erased "saturday", and wrote, "when everyone comes home". Yep. That's what I am thankful for the most.
Serena was thankful for "grammar" yesterday. Who knows what brought that about. She's the world's youngest English teacher, apparently. I just found that so amusing. And cool. I'm a word nerd, and though it's been awhile since I've studied grammar, I still remember her. She was a kind lady who made wonderful pies...
And Steve, he's keeping it real with his list. He was thankful for the dinner I made the other night. Roast Turkey breast with stuffing, mashed potatoes, gravy, squash, and rolls. All homemade. This followed the apple and pumpkin pies I had made a couple days beforehand. He might be thankful for my cooking, but I'm not sure what he'll think of his belt size next week. Or mine. Yikes!
Angel has been thankful too. For toys, treats, fresh water, sisters, and "crust bones" on pizza night. She appreciates everything, that happy little thing.
And what was I thankful for today? My thankful family. Yesterday I wrote "Saturdays", although I spent the entire day with a migraine, and so it wasn't my favorite day after all. But the best part was when my family walked through the door. Maybe I should have erased "saturday", and wrote, "when everyone comes home". Yep. That's what I am thankful for the most.
Wednesday, November 6, 2013
A-Ha Moment
I just got one of those "A-Ha" moments Oprah's always talking about. I was reading a post from another blogger this morning. It was about codependency. When you hear that word, what do you think of? I've only ever heard this word used in college psychology or on Dr. Phil. I thought it was one of those specialty words applying to drug or alcohol abuse or "enabling". It's not special at all, it turns out.
This word has to do with me. Here is the definition given in her post:
"Codependency is when we plug into people, places, or things as the source of life. So when my life isn't going so great, I blame_______________________for being the source of my problems."
Wow. I didn't think I really did this, but in some ways, I do.When I'm not feeling strong, I have two choices.
1. Fix it myself. (source of problems)
2. Ask God to help. (source of life)
Codependency fits for both of these choices. If I try to fix something myself, I usually make myself a part of something that has nothing to do with me. If I'm upset about someone or something, placing blame doesn't do anything but keep me stewing in it with no solution. Meanwhile, I am losing my joy and peace.
Stewing=codependency on problems.
If I "plug in" and allow God in to do the damage control, I can have peace. I can know that He will let me know what to do, when to do it, and most importantly, how He wants me to handle it. While I wait, I can stay in peace, knowing the answer is coming.
Letting go=codependency on God.
So I've had the "A-Ha" moment. That doesn't necessarily mean I have it all figured out. But it's definitely something worth pursuing.
This word has to do with me. Here is the definition given in her post:
"Codependency is when we plug into people, places, or things as the source of life. So when my life isn't going so great, I blame_______________________for being the source of my problems."
Wow. I didn't think I really did this, but in some ways, I do.When I'm not feeling strong, I have two choices.
1. Fix it myself. (source of problems)
2. Ask God to help. (source of life)
Codependency fits for both of these choices. If I try to fix something myself, I usually make myself a part of something that has nothing to do with me. If I'm upset about someone or something, placing blame doesn't do anything but keep me stewing in it with no solution. Meanwhile, I am losing my joy and peace.
Stewing=codependency on problems.
If I "plug in" and allow God in to do the damage control, I can have peace. I can know that He will let me know what to do, when to do it, and most importantly, how He wants me to handle it. While I wait, I can stay in peace, knowing the answer is coming.
Letting go=codependency on God.
So I've had the "A-Ha" moment. That doesn't necessarily mean I have it all figured out. But it's definitely something worth pursuing.
Tuesday, November 5, 2013
What Legacy Will I leave?
The mother in a family has a big job to do. We start out by taking care of the babies, still taking care of household duties, the laundry, the husband, possibly a job or career, pets, yard work...the list never ends. We become buffers between the world and our home. We feel responsible for everything and everyone. We have guilt that no amount of convincing can change. We want everything to be right. It rarely is. And when it all fails, it's all on us. Maybe I'm alone in this, but I doubt it. I would love to meet a mother who has no challenges.
Somehow each year as the kids grow, my jobs change and get a little more challenging. The husband is working way more than when we first started out. We always had time to take the kids places and just relax. The kids used to be content to play in the backyard or have little friends over or just watch a movie at night. Dinner was simple. Everyone just ate whatever mom made, and it was always together at the table. And mom, though challenges were ever present, found time to scrapbook, hang out with friends, volunteer at school and church. Mom was pretty busy, but fulfilled.
I don't know what happened. I thought about this as I looked at my latest attempt to keep my family togetherness a priority. I decided we needed to do the "30 days of Thanksgiving" lists and share them at dinner time. It's something we used to do when the kids were little, only we hung little colored leaves on a twig. I was a bit late getting it together, but I did mention it about 47 times, that we needed to get busy filling out the first four days. It's day five. Guess who has 5 things to be thankful for? Just me. Everyone else has blank forms hanging on the side of the cabinet.
This is just one example. I have planned day trips, packed picnic lunches, arranged family photos on a whim, made movie night or game night happen, anything I can think of to preserve my family togetherness. With Steve's job requiring more and more travel and frankly, more and more of him, I feel less and less confident that I can pull this off successfully. It takes a whole family to make it work. The girls are all into the internet and you tube and themselves, really. It's all about friends and activities, sometimes homework, projects, practice, or lessons. There are a lot of things threatening not only our family, but all families today.
Growing up we spent nearly every weekend at my grandma's house or she came to see us. Friday nights were playing cards with friends or family and playing with all the cousins. This is not even close to today's family, in my experience. Our kids are blessed by two sets of grandparents. One set is busy all the time. The other...I don't know what they do. They have lots of aunts and uncles we never see. Everyone is busy. No one has time for family anymore. It's not a priority, only on the holidays, and even then, not everyone comes.
If this is the future of my family, I'm pretty sad. I wanted more for my girls. I wanted them to have a big loving family around them all the time. Aunts who took them shopping, uncles who taught them how to do what only uncles can teach. Cousins who played pranks and giggled relentlessly. This has not been the case. So I've tried to step in and make our family home a place they would always remember. But will they let me? I pray that they do. Will they let me do what I know one day they will be so grateful for when they look back at their childhood?
My thankful list top five: 1. God's love. 2. My awesome husband 3. My beautiful daughters. 4. Angel 5. Peace and quiet. (because I need that once in awhile!)
What will 6 be? I'm really hoping it will say, "my family took the time to be thankful".
I know the future of my family doesn't all rest on me, but it "feels" like it does. Coming from "less than perfection", I want to fix in their lives what was broken in mine. Funny thing. It doesn't really work that way at all! So now that I know I have little control over some things and no control over others, I'll give control of my family over to the One who created it. And trust.
Somehow each year as the kids grow, my jobs change and get a little more challenging. The husband is working way more than when we first started out. We always had time to take the kids places and just relax. The kids used to be content to play in the backyard or have little friends over or just watch a movie at night. Dinner was simple. Everyone just ate whatever mom made, and it was always together at the table. And mom, though challenges were ever present, found time to scrapbook, hang out with friends, volunteer at school and church. Mom was pretty busy, but fulfilled.
I don't know what happened. I thought about this as I looked at my latest attempt to keep my family togetherness a priority. I decided we needed to do the "30 days of Thanksgiving" lists and share them at dinner time. It's something we used to do when the kids were little, only we hung little colored leaves on a twig. I was a bit late getting it together, but I did mention it about 47 times, that we needed to get busy filling out the first four days. It's day five. Guess who has 5 things to be thankful for? Just me. Everyone else has blank forms hanging on the side of the cabinet.
This is just one example. I have planned day trips, packed picnic lunches, arranged family photos on a whim, made movie night or game night happen, anything I can think of to preserve my family togetherness. With Steve's job requiring more and more travel and frankly, more and more of him, I feel less and less confident that I can pull this off successfully. It takes a whole family to make it work. The girls are all into the internet and you tube and themselves, really. It's all about friends and activities, sometimes homework, projects, practice, or lessons. There are a lot of things threatening not only our family, but all families today.
Growing up we spent nearly every weekend at my grandma's house or she came to see us. Friday nights were playing cards with friends or family and playing with all the cousins. This is not even close to today's family, in my experience. Our kids are blessed by two sets of grandparents. One set is busy all the time. The other...I don't know what they do. They have lots of aunts and uncles we never see. Everyone is busy. No one has time for family anymore. It's not a priority, only on the holidays, and even then, not everyone comes.
If this is the future of my family, I'm pretty sad. I wanted more for my girls. I wanted them to have a big loving family around them all the time. Aunts who took them shopping, uncles who taught them how to do what only uncles can teach. Cousins who played pranks and giggled relentlessly. This has not been the case. So I've tried to step in and make our family home a place they would always remember. But will they let me? I pray that they do. Will they let me do what I know one day they will be so grateful for when they look back at their childhood?
My thankful list top five: 1. God's love. 2. My awesome husband 3. My beautiful daughters. 4. Angel 5. Peace and quiet. (because I need that once in awhile!)
What will 6 be? I'm really hoping it will say, "my family took the time to be thankful".
I know the future of my family doesn't all rest on me, but it "feels" like it does. Coming from "less than perfection", I want to fix in their lives what was broken in mine. Funny thing. It doesn't really work that way at all! So now that I know I have little control over some things and no control over others, I'll give control of my family over to the One who created it. And trust.
Monday, November 4, 2013
My Seasons
As the last of the fall leaves blow into the woods, the preparation for winter snow begins. And as nature makes its way into a sleepy state, I have to wake up. I've been asleep too long.
Nature doesn't fight its way between seasons. It transitions gracefully. One day you see a red or orange leaf, and then before you know it, the trees are aflame, somehow mysteriously transformed while we weren't looking. It doesn't mourn the loss of its leaves and the green of the grass, yet it readies itself for the challenges to come. Snow...frost...wind, ice. Only nature knows no limitations. Nature is God at His best. It is proof of His existence and evidence that He loves us. It can endure everything. It is powerful even in it's weakest states.
This morning the sky was a beautiful purpley pinkish color, as it sometimes is on the way to school. I've said it many times before to the girls, "look at God's sky this morning. It's a God color!" I can't even name it! It's kind of orchid, kind of pink, kind of orange. But not describable. It's a God color. And it touches me. God loves me through nature.
So if God designed nature with so much love and such detail, why do I forget that I was designed this way as well? I read it in the Bible..."I am God's workmanship", Psalm 139:15 tells it all. Why do I forget, when nature screams it every day?
I need to wake up. I need to know that God painted me with His special colors too. God designed me to make someone happy. God designed me for a purpose for this great plan of His. I'm not here to be upset, angry, anxious, sad, resentful, lost, empty. I am here to be full of love, giving love, receiving love, and being a light for Christ. Why do I forget that so often? Why do I let negative thoughts destroy what I know to be true? Why do I let insensitive people decide how I'm going to feel that day? Why do I lose hope when I clearly know better?
That miracle tree out in front of our house tells me to hope. Its trunk is rotted out. It's barely hanging on, yet this year, it produced fruit. Not just one apple, but many! And that seemingly weak tree is holding on to those apples with strength it doesn't appear to have. That tree, which must be a hundred years old, doesn't know it has limitations. It just knows, "i am a tree. my purpose is to make apples."
I am a person. Designed by God. Given a purpose. To love and to be loved. And though I feel weak, I can be strong because the One who designed me sustains me when it looks like I can't sustain myself. To use my weakness to show others what can be done with God. Just like my miracle tree, which doesn't let weakness slow down its purpose.
What is my ultimate purpose? I've read books about finding your purpose, but it's not in those books. My purpose is somewhere in me, waiting to be found. Bits and pieces are revealed to me at times when I least expect it. It doesn't come on a billboard. Wouldn't that be easy? But finding what God wants for me is not something to be hurried through or frustrated about. It's like nature, it's a transitional thing. He will give me the pieces I can handle and recognize. Then he'll give me a bit more. I'm the one who slows this down. Not God.
And so I need to wake up and open myself up to new possibilities and challenges, so that I can be the effective servant God needs me to be. I need to shake off anything that slows me down and keep my focus on staying positive. It will be like nature going from spring to summer to fall and then to winter.....and then back again and again.
Nature doesn't fight its way between seasons. It transitions gracefully. One day you see a red or orange leaf, and then before you know it, the trees are aflame, somehow mysteriously transformed while we weren't looking. It doesn't mourn the loss of its leaves and the green of the grass, yet it readies itself for the challenges to come. Snow...frost...wind, ice. Only nature knows no limitations. Nature is God at His best. It is proof of His existence and evidence that He loves us. It can endure everything. It is powerful even in it's weakest states.
This morning the sky was a beautiful purpley pinkish color, as it sometimes is on the way to school. I've said it many times before to the girls, "look at God's sky this morning. It's a God color!" I can't even name it! It's kind of orchid, kind of pink, kind of orange. But not describable. It's a God color. And it touches me. God loves me through nature.
So if God designed nature with so much love and such detail, why do I forget that I was designed this way as well? I read it in the Bible..."I am God's workmanship", Psalm 139:15 tells it all. Why do I forget, when nature screams it every day?
I need to wake up. I need to know that God painted me with His special colors too. God designed me to make someone happy. God designed me for a purpose for this great plan of His. I'm not here to be upset, angry, anxious, sad, resentful, lost, empty. I am here to be full of love, giving love, receiving love, and being a light for Christ. Why do I forget that so often? Why do I let negative thoughts destroy what I know to be true? Why do I let insensitive people decide how I'm going to feel that day? Why do I lose hope when I clearly know better?
That miracle tree out in front of our house tells me to hope. Its trunk is rotted out. It's barely hanging on, yet this year, it produced fruit. Not just one apple, but many! And that seemingly weak tree is holding on to those apples with strength it doesn't appear to have. That tree, which must be a hundred years old, doesn't know it has limitations. It just knows, "i am a tree. my purpose is to make apples."
I am a person. Designed by God. Given a purpose. To love and to be loved. And though I feel weak, I can be strong because the One who designed me sustains me when it looks like I can't sustain myself. To use my weakness to show others what can be done with God. Just like my miracle tree, which doesn't let weakness slow down its purpose.
What is my ultimate purpose? I've read books about finding your purpose, but it's not in those books. My purpose is somewhere in me, waiting to be found. Bits and pieces are revealed to me at times when I least expect it. It doesn't come on a billboard. Wouldn't that be easy? But finding what God wants for me is not something to be hurried through or frustrated about. It's like nature, it's a transitional thing. He will give me the pieces I can handle and recognize. Then he'll give me a bit more. I'm the one who slows this down. Not God.
And so I need to wake up and open myself up to new possibilities and challenges, so that I can be the effective servant God needs me to be. I need to shake off anything that slows me down and keep my focus on staying positive. It will be like nature going from spring to summer to fall and then to winter.....and then back again and again.