SirNorm,
You have given me a God-given idea. My brother, who has suffered from alcohol and substance abuse for most of his life, who has strained relationships with his family because of it, who has lost job after job, cars, homes, possessions, etc...almost died on Monday night. His health has taken a major toll from all of the abuse he has put on his body. He spent 3 months in a rehab facility and left there only saying he hates turkey. Sigh. Only God can fix him.
He nearly lost his life while surgeons were replacing and cleaning some stents he had put in before. The doctors have told him so many times that in his condition, they can't believe he's been alive this long. He's on so much medication that sometimes he can't keep his head up. On Thanksgiving, he began tremoring and scared all of us...once again.
He has been not hard to love, because he is my brother and I will always love him. He has been hard to have a relationship with. In the past if I reached out to him, he would try to manipulate me in some way. I stopped reaching out because I didn't want his toxicity in my new little family or on my baby girls at the time. His children, now grown with little ones, have certainly felt their dad's bad decisions. They have often felt unloved and neglected. It has put so many rifts in our family that most relationships are strained now. If we help, we're on his side. If we don't, we aren't doing enough....so much strife. And so little I've been able to do to help. Mostly I just feel angry because of the strain it has caused my dear parents, who should be enjoying the golden years. But I feel bad too, that here he is, my big brother, and where have you been for me? Then I feel guilty all over again...such a codependent spiral we fall into when someone in our family is sick.
I am a collector of post cards, and I did read your post called "Reconciled with my Brother" just this morning. It hit me hard. I don't know how to talk to my brother anymore. I have written him letters while he was in rehab and he called me a Jesus freak. He knows there is a God, but doesn't think God knows him apparently. Oh, but he does....and it will not be good until Tim gets to know the God who created and loves him. So when you used postcards to draw your brother to your family, it just clicked with me. I had just posted pictures of some of my antique Christmas cards on Facebook. I am most touched by the words written on the backs of these treasures of mine.
So, would my brother treasure my words if I were to write them on the back of a guitar-laden post card every week? Would he feel loved? Would he then soften and begin to see God's love through me? Would he finally humble his spirit? Maybe. It's worth a shot. His life, SirNorm, is more valuable than what you described at a funeral..."woulda coulda shoulda". I don't want that for him, his parents, his kids, grandkids, siblings. Friends. His new wife. Here is what I want them to say should he leave this world before he's even nicely into his 50's:
"Wow. He may have only known God a short time, but look at what he did with that time. He made peace with his past, he reconciled himself with his family, he showed love to all he met, and he had a relationship with Jesus that made his friends think about what they were doing in their own lives. He became the man God designed him to be and he became the father he wishes he had always been. What a wonderful man was Tim Smith."
That's what I want to hear when I finally have to really say goodbye to my brother. I don't want to say he wasted his life or I wasted time. God, could you give us some more time to set things straight? It's pretty important. Life-changing even.
Thank you, SirNorm, for changing the way I think just at the right time. God bless you.
1 comment:
You are absolutely correct miss Jami. Use all that you know so that it is recorded in the book of Acts that Jami was a hand extended for her brother and that she did all things well to the best of her ability with what she had to help her brother be reconcile to God and man. May you also know that God is reconciling your brother at this moment and that you are working within the Lord's will for your brothers life.
I want to let you know of some testimonies of mailed post cards that have worked in my town of Kelowna B.C.
There is a young woman who works at the library and has a similar story to yourself. Her brother was estranged from the family and an alcoholic. Right after the time that I had written the post cards to my brother and had received the wonderful result, I shared the post card idea with this sister in the Lord and she started to do the same. A card a week with no condemnation on it, only and exhortation and a statement of "I love you." I can report to you that after a few months her brother not only reconnected with the family but has recently been delivered of his addiction and is doing very well serving the Lord. I was talking with her at the library last week and she commented that she had read the blog and she said, "that she was going to start the same post card campaign on her wayward sister." I pray in Jesus name she is successful. Amen.
I was teaching in a bible college around that same time and I decided I would try this post card project with the students and the results were faith building. I gave each student three post cards and they were to send one to a woman who had demonstrated courage to them in their lives. The next card was to be mailed to a man that had inspired them somehow in their lives. The third card was to be mailed to someone they had noticed in their church, or family, or circle of friends that just needed to hear that they were loved and also needed to hear that someone was praying for them.
Within 2 weeks of the post cards being mailed the testimonies started to come in and they were glorious. One man was on the verge of suicide and when the post card that declared he had been an inspiration to the student who had mailed it, actually caused him to call the student and repent for what he was about to do to himself. Different women had responded with phone calls and showing up at the students homes crying because they had never heard this type of gratefulness toward them in their lives. It seemed that for the next few weeks the top of some pressurised bottle had busted out and gratefulness was causing faith to work in peoples lives. It was a post card version of paying it forward. There were many other testimonies of incredible blessings. Imagine all that Godlike growth for the price of a stamp. Who would have thought, but God.
So, sister Jami, I say go for it, be a blessing of love. I ask with you in Jesus name for your brothers life to be healed of alcoholism by the blood and power of our Lord. I also ask the Lord with you sister Jami that your brother make the LORD his choice for his life and in his life. Amen and amen.
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