Merry Christmas to all who celebrate the birth of Christ, as we do. It's hard to remain focus on that main event with all the trappings of the commercialism of Christmas. I can't blame it all on the stores, though. It's definitely my fault too, when I get too focused on making just one more batch of cookies, buy one more gift, add one more event...and then wonder why I don't enjoy it as I should. It doesn't help that we've been "estranged" from our church still. After all, it is a holy holiday for us Christians, and where else should we be?
I have made church in my home, under my tree, at my table, and in my car. I have kept Christ in my heart, maybe more so that I have not had a church to call home in awhile. It has been a challenge, and I hope to find resolution soon and get us back in fellowship. That's a goal for 2014.
Anyway, I am a traditional girl at heart. I want the snow, the love, the warmth, and the perfection you often see on the cover of all those glittering Christmas cards. Instead, I get a little "National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation" mixed in with a little "Home Alone". I blog, but my family doesn't read it, so they won't know that they are getting called out at all. I'll share just one incident, and then you can use your imagination.
A member of our family, a fairly new member, apparently needed a little "liquid courage" to come to our family Christmas. So, moments into the holiday festivities, she was sitting on my mom's kitchen floor. I have no idea why. I don't know her very well yet, but I'm pretty sure that's not something she would normally do. I turned to my sister and said, "what is going on? Are we the Griswald's now?" She laughed....and I waited for the cat to be electrocuted....they don't have a cat. Now we know why...Lots more sewage spewed as my brother became annoyed with mom's Christmas chime clock. Apparently he would "shoot that SOB". Sigh. Laughter mixed with tears. And confusion.
Anyway, we have possibly 2 pending divorces in our family if the marital strife continues, I have a brother who is ill and on pain medications, which were wearing off quickly. This prompted us to have dinner, a white elephant, and gift opening all within a 2-3 hour period. Everyone then escaped, I mean, went home, and we were the only ones left. No family photos were taken. No one was taking pictures but me! As usual. I'm trying to watch my kids open gifts, take everyone's pictures, and keep the family dog from eating the styrofoam peanuts on the floor. Can you say "Griswald" any louder? And "don't take my picture" was more common than "Merry Christmas".
I then frantically tried to help my mom pack food for everyone who all left at the same time, which means chex mix was flying, and the dog was again under my feet. The clock was chiming, much to my brother's dismay, and I couldn't get the cookies wrapped fast enough. Everyone made it out the door, I breathed a sigh, and then my niece popped back in and said, "we can't find my dad." This is not good for many reasons, but we did find him hiding in the living room, apparently escaping from the chaos in the kitchen, which was apparently driving him nuts. Really? I was throwing grandpa's bread left and right yelling, "7 grain, white, or oatmeal", as I tossed them to the waiting hands. New York delis, I am ready for you. I have to laugh....or I will cry. Sob even.
So, my mom was too busy to shop for me this year and gave me the dreaded cash and gift card to Barnes and Noble. Not dreaded for me, dreaded for her, who really doesn't like these kinds of cop out gifts. I think the first book I will buy at B&N will be something for my mental health. And the cash, as usual, will go into the checkbook to pay for all the stuff we bought that no one needed anyway.
I have my tongue in my cheek today, but if I told you what I really thought, it wouldn't be pretty. And it would not help my survival. I can't think too carefully on these holidays because it breaks my heart. I love Christmas....I love family. I just don't necessarily need them together.
Like I said, focusing on the real meaning of Christmas is the most important thing, and it shouldn't be this hard. It gives me the peace I need to survive. It makes me proud to be a "griswald" at least some of the time.
3 comments:
Blessings miss Jami
May God, in the new year, bring you into a place and location of fellowship that you want for yourself and your family. May the healing of the Lord heal your siblings hearts and bodies. May whatsoever you put your hands to doing this coming new year prosper beyond your expectation. May the joy of the Lord truly be your strength and give you the illumination of God's will for your life. Peace to you and yours. Eph 3:20, Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us, 21 Unto him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus throughout all ages, world without end. Amen.
Sorry you had such a difficult Christmas. My heart breaks that you are "estranged" from your church. I pray that you will experience precious reconciliation.
Some book recommendations. I, as an "adopted" aunt, was at my "nieces" home for Christmas and picked up the book "UnGlued". It's a Christian book about how we deal with difficult relationships, our own internal thoughts, deal with conflict etc. I read the first chapter and it looks really good. I recommend it as a book you might want to get. I plan to get it once I've read some of the other books I have. The other book that I've been spending some time on is "One Thousand Gifts" by Ann Voskamp. It is also slowly changing how I think and view my life.
Ann Voskamp said "Peace isn’t a place to work towards, but a Person to walk with."
Post a Comment
Words Matter. Choose them carefully.