"Lend Me Your Hope"

I'm re-reading a book that has helped me time and time again when I've struggled in my faith. It's kind of a "reset" button for me in some ways. It's practical, even beginning with a chapter titled, "Who are you?" It's a book called Victory Over Darkness, by Neil T. Anderson (1990). I picked it up as I do most of my Christian books-at some kind of garage sale or book sale.

What caught my attention at the beginning was this poem, authored by some famous person by the name of "Anonymous" (just love those fame-crazy people!)

Lend me your hope for awhile,
I seem to have mislaid mine.
Lost and hopeless feelings accompany me daily,
pain and confusion are my companions.
I know not where to turn;
looking ahead to future times does not bring forth
images of renewed hope.
I see troubled times, pain-filled days, and more tragedy.

Lend me your hope for awhile,
I seem to have mislaid mine.
Hold my hand and hug me;
listen to all my ramblings, recovery seems so distant.
The road to healing seems like a long and lonely one.

Lend me your hope for awhile,
I seem to have mislaid mine.
Stand my me, offer me your presence, your heart, and your love.
Acknowledge my pain, it is so real and ever present.
I am overwhelmed with sad and conflicting thoughts.

Lend me your hope for awhile;
a time will come when I will heal,
and I will share my renewal, hope and love with others.

That's pretty powerful stuff to me, as I've felt all of those things these past few months. As humans we all feel these things at one time or another, as life can hand out some pretty sad and scary situations. We ask for God's hope, his peace, and his comfort while we wait for whatever it is we need to be "okay", when in fact, "okay" might not happen for a long time. What then? We need that hope forever.

That hope first comes from God, but it also needs to come from others. I have found that secondary hope in people. While we are in church transition, obviously we don't have church family support. That is really hard. But I do have a friend from our old  church who has emailed me a few times a week, prayed fervently for me, and cares for me very much. I have held on to her hope. She is suffering from illness too and needs my hope. So I pray for her, email her, give her my hope for her healing. God provides. While I lost the friend I never thought would desert me in this time and has always been there for me, he brought me a friend who has not left my side. She has also lost a dear friend she never thought would leave her, and I give a nod to God, because he has a way of working these things out for our good. I also give thanks for my online support I have found (or perhaps found me) through my blog. To have met 2 wonderfully supportive and wise Christians, Sir Norm and Angela, was also a gift from God, who knew my thoughts needed a response and those responses have given me such hope. Those prayers have lifted me on my darkest days and brought joy to my heart. Hope to a broken heart and a wavering faith at times. Did I ever mention how I met Angela? I might save that for another special post! With a special photo!

My parents and my husband continue to lend me hope, as they continue to reassure me, "You will get better, just hang in there." It came in the way of a mom picking up her son the other day who said to me, "Of course you will enjoy your grandchildren one day. You'll get past this." She has no idea what I've really been going through, and gave me that hope to hold onto. Hope comes in knowing others are struggling with bigger things than me. That even though this seems like a mountain, it could be a hill to someone else. This might be a rough valley, but things could be worse. I could be a single mom, I could have lost a job, I could have little ones, and on and on. Instead I have a wonderful husband who is a great provider and I have a beautiful home and a peaceful place to recover. Some people don't have that. Some people have no hope at all. Yes, this is my struggle, and it will have an end, and the only antidote right now is hope.

H   old
O   n
P   ain
E   nds

Thank you God for lending me your HOPE. Thank you friends I mentioned and did not mention for lending me your hope. And as the last sentence of the poem says,

" a time will come when I will heal, and I will share my renewal, hope, and love with others."