Quiet Winter

It's a typical winter here in the big woods. Cold, snowy, not much happening. I see why bears hibernate. I kind of hibernate too! It's easy to do anyway, having been struggling with my health for so long. My social life is non-existent! 

With a busy hubby and teens going every which way and one dating, our weekends are very tied up with family anyway.  I'm not quite sure how others have so much time for socializing. Even when we "had friends", it was always a family-oriented thing we planned together. Couples going out? Never. Not since before we had kids! I don't know, I don't really feel we're missing anything. 

Steve's best buddy lives in Texas, mine is 3 hours away, and other close friends of ours are just as busy and dedicated to their families as we are. There's never enough time to do all the things with all the people, is there? 

One day we will have all the time in the world for our friends again. Not on the phone or on the dreaded Facebook chat, but in person again. 

But it's quiet out here and it sure would be nice to be scrapbooking with Patty and laughing as we always do, or having a nice long talk with Pam or Angela about things that matter in life. 

Because friends can be just as important as family, if not more than, in some cases. And I don't want to sleep through that. 

Update

Sorry for my absence. We are still without home internet because, well, we just don't have a lot of options in the area in which we live. So blogging is not as easy. 

My trip back to the neurologist went fine. Doc decided to increase my dosage of seizure medication just to protect against any other symptoms. He also advised how to head off any other attacks with my other medication. I am on 3 permanent medications, and I hope to adjust to the new dosage better than I did last time. It's only been a few days. So far, it's ok. I'm trying to ignore it!

On the good news side, I've resumed my healthy diet and exercise, and I'm down 14 pounds! That's about how much I gained in the last year through inactivity alone. So, I'm feeling hopeful I can get back to my healthy frame that I am used to and start to feel better physically.

Short update today, but believe me, it is less than fun to blog on my phone! We are still researching internet possibilities for our area and hope to get a new solution soon! Hope the new year is treating you well. 

Here I Go Again

Today I thought the sun was hitting the snow just right and affecting my eyes....but when my vision didn't improve after I moved away from the light, I knew that familiar feeling. Seizure. 

I was able to stop it early by taking my medication earlier than usual, but I was both scared, disheartened, and unnerved by the experience. I spent the afternoon in bed, since the medication makes me extremely tired. This is the first indication of seizure since April of last year. It could be a breakthrough seizure or it could be that the medication is no longer effective. This happens. Either way, I'm not happy. I just got through saying how much better I was feeling and just yesterday I went to my daughter's bowling match without Steve. I was just starting to feel confident going in stores and other places. I was starting to feel and act like myself. 

This is not okay. So, tomorrow I need to call and get back to Ann Arbor. I missed my November appointment due to the funeral, so I'm overdue anyway. I was hoping to wait for better traveling weather, but it's not going to wait. 

It is what it is, I suppose. I'm not sure just what to do with this. 

Check in

I'm back for a bit mostly to check in and say hello, hope you all enjoyed the holiday season! 

We are still without an internet provider since ours went out of business. Frustrating...

Christmas was unusual this year in many ways. The "cliff notes" version is that sickness prevailed and we didn't go anywhere. There were some ups, some downs, another loss in the family, though not by death, and I am happy that 2014 is over. Enough said. 

On a good note, I was able to get in some cross country skiing, until my boot broke. Typical. But I was thrilled, nonetheless, that I am not confined to a chair, wishing I was dead. So, there's that. 

I have lost 10 pounds, which was a surprise! I don't make a habit of weighing myself, but I consider that a really nice way to start the year. Thank you, medication! One good side effect. 

Since my brother passed 2 months ago, 2 fine friends have sent me books on grief, and it has helped me very much. Not just the books, but the sweet gesture. Most people have stopped mentioning my brother to me. In fact, no one asks. I guess they are afraid to upset me. It's okay. I do understand that. I think that's why hugs and smiles are the world's best communication tools. 

I have found myself very preoccupied lately and not really joining in with my family as much. I think it's a bit of my "turtling" kicking in. I tend to bury the emotion, but then disconnect. Gotta work on that. I get a little robotic in the winter... Not enough sun to keep me going. 

I face the new year with trepidation, not expectation. Hoping for a better year, but afraid even to hope for that. I looked back over the things I prayed about over the last year and found many of my prayers were answered with an opposite result.  I find myself wondering about that. 

Hope your year is blessed.