Be Kind to Kids

One of my unspoken personal rules is to always be kind and helpful to children. You don't necessarily have to be "good with kids" to have a heart for them or know how to treat them. I just believe you should always leave children better than how you found them if at all possible. While waiting to pick up Serena, 

I had an opportunity to have a short chat with a young man I've known since he was about 4 years old. He's much older now, but I've always enjoyed our small interactions. A somewhat troubled youth, not all of his interactions with adults have been positive.  After picking up my daughter, she mentioned that to me. I told her my banana bike story again. 

When I was learning to use my foot brakes, I went over to my best friend Patty's house because she had a nice long driveway on a quieter street. There was always a car or two in the driveway because her mom was a school teacher and was home for the summer. Often times she would have the same friend over during the day, Mrs. X, we'll call her. 

On this particular day, I was learning to balance on my two wheeler while braking and trying to put a foot down. I was trying to teach myself because my parents were gone all day and I was a determined child. ;) 

In learning this new skill, I kept crashing into Mrs.X's  car. Now, I was as tiny as could be at probably 7 or 8 years old and shy as a mouse. She came stomping out of the house, red-faced and yelling at me before she even saw that that there was no damage to her car. Just lots of damage to my little spirit. It was so long ago, but I never forgot it, and she was not kind to me as a child, so I avoided her when she was at my friend's house. 

Serena piped up to add, "I know her! She was mean to me too! She never got my name right at school!" 

I went on to explain to Serena how important it is to a child to use understanding and kindness. If only she had stepped out, realized that what I lacked was instruction, she could have been a hero! 

She could have spent 5 minutes teaching me to ride my bike, speaking kind words of encouragement to me, and she could have left a positive impression on a child that is never forgotten. I wasn't being naughty, I just couldn't steer my bike. Some people just lack insight with children and it's really sad for the adult and the child. 

Children never forget. They don't forget who hurt them, and they don't forget who cared and spent time loving them. 

I think Serena got it, and she is already way more blessed with kind adults, and for that, this adult is grateful. 

She will have great stories to tell my grandchildren one day. 

Goodbye Miracle Tree

If you've followed previous posts, you've heard about our "miracle tree". She has stood for years and years, through many storms, and has certainly provided many families with her bounty. Through some odd miracle, apples continued to grow on a tree that seemed to have no trunk to even sustain it's own life. She was a symbol of hope. 

Recently we found she couldn't stand any longer. Her trunk has fallen, laying bare, but her branches are still full of the apples from the blossoms she made in the spring. 

Life is a miracle. All life. However long it may last, whether it is here for a moment or for a lifetime. Whether it is holding on by a thread, or with all of it's might. 

Life is hope. 

Little Things

Nothing is ever random to me. Everything means something. Hang around me long enough and it will either inspire you or drive you nuts. :) 

Serena left me this change she found in the shape of a heart so I would see it the morning I left for Ann Arbor. :)

This is the lily my sister brought me last year when I was so down. These are the same color and type of lilies used at my wedding, so they always bring me joy. They bloomed beautifully this year, their first year. :) 

This little heart was on the sidewalk outside the Brighton medical center where Natalie has her spine check-ups. Serena pointed it out to me, and I said to her, "that one was for you!" :) 

I wasn't feeling well at the hotel, so Steve walked up to the lobby desk where they had a small snack pantry and asked to purchase a Coke. She handed him this one, with the name of my brother's youngest son. I sat and drank my coke, thinking of the three boys, one in heaven, and two, just getting ready to go to the concert of their dad's favorite band, The Eagles. How appropriate. 

As we left the shopping mall, I looked to my right and saw this beautiful sky just seconds after my Facebook messenger "pinged". As I opened my message, it was a picture of the sunset, but not this one. My adopted brother has a new habit of sending me pictures of sunsets now and then because they are beautiful at his house and absent at mine. I told him maybe he should publish them, and so I agreed not to post his pictures, but they are far more beautiful than this one, and they always lift my spirits. 

Simple joys are the best. People say that with such nonchalance, but really think about all you do in a day and what really touched you. It's not going to be the big things. 

Hubby's latest bunch of flowers. He also bought some for my mom. :) 

Stick around. I'll drive you nuts with this stuff. ;) 

The Weekend

After a very busy week of downstate appointments, and a college tour at Lawrence Technological University, we finished off the week with a wedding barbecue. Our flower girl was married in Mexico in March, and unfortunately we couldn't attend the ceremony. I just happened to catch a heart-shaped cloud floating over Chippewa Lake during the party. I couldn't resist, since you may remember, hearts find me everywhere. 

After the party, we decided to drive a few miles over to my brother Jeff's alma mater, FSU, which was actually FSC when he attended back in the fall of '82. I don't know why as a 13 year old I never got to take the trip over to see his dorm or apartment. It escapes me now, however, I do remember my mom taking me to get my ears pierced on my 13th birthday, and I broke down crying over my lunch right there at the mall!  Not because my ears hurt, but because my brother had just left for college and I missed him already. 

Life certainly is interesting the older I get. 

"-ist" appointment #2

Another appointment today, but this one not as successful as yesterday. So...a procedure and a test are scheduled and hopefully some answers will follow. 

I'm sure getting tired of these visits and would rather be visiting with people I don't have to pay to see me. 

But as my new saying goes- "it is what it is. Oh well...". 

It's my Charlie Brown approach to life. Good grief! :) 

Taking My Doc Visit to Heart

We headed back to Ann Arbor today to see my neurologist at the U of M Hospital. 

The last time I saw him was in January, and I had just had some troubling seizure symptoms reappear, was dealing with some anxiety (typical of my diagnosis), and still reeling from the loss of my brother and was dealing with depression as well. 

Today I walked in his office a new woman. Anxiety free, I was finally able to ask him the questions I had once feared asking- "can I watch fireworks? Will flashing lights bring on seizures? What if I see strobe lights at concerts?" Among other questions. Have I mentioned that this doctor has been a godsend? He told me to "stay out of clubs" (I laughed-what are "clubs"- I live in a rural area!) because strobe lights aren't good for anyone! Haha...and yes, I can enjoy fireworks, but because of the nature of my seizures and the connection to my migraine issue, lights are not always my friend. But most of all, he said in his kind, matter-of-fact way, "live your life. Don't try to control this. Enjoy yourself." He's a really cool guy. Totally what I need. 

I am also 48 pounds lighter, among feeling lighter from my burdens as well. 

I have been active in my garden, riding my bike, working out, getting strong, and fighting my demons one at a time. 

And all along, I am giving credit also to the loss of my dear brother, who left me way too soon. He was vibrant, fun-loving, energetic, and loving life. That is what I need to be, and to do that, I need to be as healthy as I can be. I'm not sure what caused him to leave us, but I will take care of myself in his honor, and that is what has been driving me since the Christmas I spent with his wife and kids last year. 

Something changed in me when he passed. One day I will be able to put words to it. Right now, I am putting action into it and getting myself in the best shape I can be for as long as I am allowed to be here on earth. 

Photogenic: Day 30

Today is the last day of my 30 day "Photogenic" series. 

Today I finish it with a trip to Natalie's "crazy" garden. 

Each year for the past couple of years, Natalie has planted a garden where her great grandma's old house once stood right down the road from us. 

One year she tried tomato farming. Another year it was pumpkins. 

This year she decided to grow colorful and weird things, such as purple beans, blue potatoes, warty pumpkins, and other strange things. 

It has given her not only something positive to focus on, but also the pleasure of watching something grow and being able to share it with family and friends. 

Those are Serena's hands, harboring the tiny toad she found hopping about under the pumpkin vines. 

I'm so glad my girls enjoy the great outdoors. 

Photogenic: Day 29

This piano was purchased with the idea that I would take piano lessons. That was in 1997. I became pregnant that same year, and it became all about the kids after that! 

Natalie took her first lesson at age 4, and is now more self-taught, and enjoys playing when she feels like it. It's no longer a "chore" to practice. 

We placed the dish by the piano to encourage the girls to play for us, and one day Natalie and Brandon played a duet that Natalie taught him within minutes! So we walked in and placed the money in the dish as they played. They loved it! 

They were so proud of their song, and honestly, what is better than a home filled with happy, music-making teenagers? 

Photogenic: Day 28

I'm finally making my rounds to all the appointments I've delayed since my seizures started. 

One of my most memorable ones was October 2013 as I was driving to my dentist appointment. I arrived a bit confused and in a pre-seizure aura state. My new hygienist sensed something was off when I didn't answer her "how are you" question quite right. 

As she took me back to the room, she told me she was also a registered nurse and that she was going to have me rest a bit and if I still felt funny, she'd take care of it. (Call 911)

So today, that same hygienist took me back to do my health review and she remembered that day with me. She was pretty shocked by all that I had been through since then. I don't talk about Jeff to people, especially people I don't know, but today I mentioned to her that I lost my brother 8 months ago. I surprised myself. 

Then she surprised me. 

"I lost my brother too. 52 years old. Massive heart attack." Tears filled her eyes as she went on to say that her big brother passed just one day after their family had all gathered together to celebrate their parents' 60th wedding anniversary. They were all on vacation together and he died in his sleep.  

We sat there in knowing silence together for a moment. 

Then she said what I always think. 

"People have told me they have lost siblings, and I just have never thought about it, but now. It's really hard, isn't it? No one really talks about this, do they? "

We both relayed our mutual thoughts, and shared our hearts right there in the dental exam room while waiting for the dentist to come in. 

Before I left, she approached me and asked if she could hug me. Of course I agreed! She told me I made her feel so much better. Her brother has been gone for 3 years and mine for 8 months, but for both of us it feels like only yesterday. 

The one thing I said to her was that our brothers were healed now and that we were the broken ones. The pain we feel is for us and not for them. Each day we spend on earth is just one day closer to the day we get to see them again. 

And no, it doesn't make any sense. No sense at all. And we're mad some days, sad every day. Confused. And we won't "get over it." Ever. Grief is for as long as we are alive, though mourning may end. 

The job for others? Love. 

Thank you, God, for love in a dentist's chair. 

Photogenic: Day 27

Rainy day daisies! Thankful for rain, although I was out working in the garden when a torrential downpour caught me off guard! 

Now I'm thankful for my fast feet that got me back to the house and the dry clothes that awaited. :) 

Photogenic: Day 26

Dinner is served! 

Serena loves cooking, and I couldn't be happier about this!! 

Tonight she used the leftover grilled shrimp from last night and made shrimp tacos. They were fabulous and every ingredient was homemade except for the tortillas. She certainly is a natural in the kitchen! Yum! 

Photogenic: Day 25

...I knew I would get these days all messed up before I'd get to my day 30 goal! Oh well...

The daisies are in bloom off my patio, and I love the way the big maples cast big shadows in the back yard. I love how we built this house in the middle of a pine forest, but somehow managed to be blessed with a yard full of beautiful mature maple trees. My personal favorite. 

Oh, and I love these daisies too. Simple and sweet. :) 

Photogenic: Day 23

I picked up Angel's food bowl this morning, and as I carried it to the sink, I noticed 3 little pieces of dog food were stuck in an "eyes and nose" formation, and as I carried the bowl, the rest of the loose food slid into a smile! 

Only I would notice such a funny thing....I see things like this all the time. :) 

Photogenic: Day 23

I had an unexpected visitor today, and it turned out to be a very nice visit. I had noticed this little heart on my stepping stone path earlier in the day, and as I watched my visitor leave, I smiled and knew why the path was blessed today. 

Photogenic: Day 22

I worked outside today...very grateful I can do this now! 

Photogenic: Day 21

This was my prep for today's medical testing. I had to drink this water and retain it for 2 hours while I had an ultrasound of my bladder and kidneys. 

This is just another step in figuring out a 7 month mystery! 

Another challenge. I have a few going on, but apparently I was cut out for it. 

It wasn't fun, but there are worse things people go through! 

Photogenic: Day 20

Several months ago, Hubs decided I needed fresh flowers all the time. :) 

This week they are the most fragrant, beautiful roses... I wish you could smell the pink ones. 

He also added an iTunes card. 

I'm grateful for his love and friendship and the way he cares for my heart. :)

Photogenic: Day 19

Our family cottage was purchased when I was 9 years old. At that time, my parents bought all of us kids (the 4 living there at the time) toothbrushes and used a label maker to put our names on them. 

This trip to the cottage was hard, as it marked the first of many cottage trips that will be shared without my brother Jeff. We reminisced a bit, but the loss is still fresh, and it was hard at times to complete a thought. 

I was in the tiny bathroom getting ready when I remembered the toothbrushes. A rush of hope went through me as I reached for the cup, and found only two toothbrushes left. 

I was surprised and touched that the only two left out of all the kids were his and mine. I tearfully snapped the picture and put them back. 

Photogenic: Day 18

A fun last minute trip to Frankfort...

One last fire...

And now we are HOME SWEET HOME!! 

Photogenic: Day 17

Apparently this is how you score more points in horseshoes. 

I giggled myself silly when I landed this perfect ringer in the pine tree....:)

Photogenic: Day 16

Not too many fish, but fishing in pajama pants with daddy is pretty fun. Natalie named this fish "Caleb", and he was a tasty breakfast. 

Photogenic: Day 15

I admit, I can be a little jumpy down by the water. Hah...jumpy....;)

But this little guy only startled me for a second, then gave me a nice pose. 

I named him "Kermie", because I'm not that clever today, I suppose. :) 

Photogenic: Day 14

Stopped in Leland to watch the sun set. 

Beautiful daughters, beautiful night! 

Photogenic: Day 13

Just a little R & R before it started to "R"- RAIN! 

What's a vacation without a little rain?

That's what board games are for...