I had an opportunity to have a short chat with a young man I've known since he was about 4 years old. He's much older now, but I've always enjoyed our small interactions. A somewhat troubled youth, not all of his interactions with adults have been positive. After picking up my daughter, she mentioned that to me. I told her my banana bike story again.
When I was learning to use my foot brakes, I went over to my best friend Patty's house because she had a nice long driveway on a quieter street. There was always a car or two in the driveway because her mom was a school teacher and was home for the summer. Often times she would have the same friend over during the day, Mrs. X, we'll call her.
On this particular day, I was learning to balance on my two wheeler while braking and trying to put a foot down. I was trying to teach myself because my parents were gone all day and I was a determined child. ;)
In learning this new skill, I kept crashing into Mrs.X's car. Now, I was as tiny as could be at probably 7 or 8 years old and shy as a mouse. She came stomping out of the house, red-faced and yelling at me before she even saw that that there was no damage to her car. Just lots of damage to my little spirit. It was so long ago, but I never forgot it, and she was not kind to me as a child, so I avoided her when she was at my friend's house.
Serena piped up to add, "I know her! She was mean to me too! She never got my name right at school!"
I went on to explain to Serena how important it is to a child to use understanding and kindness. If only she had stepped out, realized that what I lacked was instruction, she could have been a hero! She could have spent 5 minutes teaching me to ride my bike, speaking kind words of encouragement to me, and she could have left a positive impression on a child that is never forgotten. I wasn't being naughty, I just couldn't steer my bike. Some people just lack insight with children and it's really sad for the adult and the child.
Children never forget. They don't forget who hurt them, and they don't forget who cared and spent time loving them.
I think Serena got it, and she is already way more blessed with kind adults, and for that, this adult is grateful.
She will have great stories to tell my grandchildren one day.
3 comments:
Right on!
Good:)
You nailed it!!!! I'm always amazed at what kids remember about my talking with them. It's such a small thing when you think about it and yet it pays big dividends! Thanks for the reminder and encouragement.
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Words Matter. Choose them carefully.