What I learned about life through continuous loss is that love has no boundaries. In fact, the force of pain pushes us past our own boundaries into the unknown that becomes known as love itself-raw and unhindered. Love is not a "brain" decision, but a heart-jerk movement, at least it should be if you are paying attention to the people around you.
Love isn't about conditions, judgments, and blame. It's a far-reaching, extensive stretch of our own selfless giving to another. We don't stop to think about whether or not it fits into our schedule. We don't wonder if it's the right thing to do. We don't do it out of obligation or pity. Love is a pure gift of self we give without thinking, without hesitation, and without a price or time limit. We love because we were loved first. We love because we were born with an innate capacity to love others. And we love because we really don't have a choice. When the heart moves, it's already been spoken for. All you do now is move your feet, your arms, your hands, or maybe just your fingers. However love moves you, move. If you ever stop moving, you've stopped loving. You'll know, because you'll be empty inside, wondering what on earth is missing in you.
When love is withheld, it is also felt, just as fiercely as is love shared. It will be felt by you and by anyone around you. Love is powerful. It doesn't want to be suppressed or hidden, and it doesn't want to be disguised as anything but the real thing. Real, true genuine human love for another desires to be as obvious as the sun in the sky. For love to be effective, it has to be unhindered and expressed, unafraid of what others think of it, and unaware of boundaries! Love is boundless, after all. I want to be boundless with my love.
Love can comfort pain, though it can't change the pain. I have learned that through too many funerals. It can bring new people into my life that I never imagined. Just as not-so-genuine love can move people away from me at the same time. Real, genuine love that asks for nothing in return is the most effective in healing. Love that actually asks, "how are you", and then waits for an answer, and then responds to your answer. That is love. Love keeps asking. Keeps hugging. Keeps checking. Because love can't bear for your heart to keep breaking, because your broken heart breaks theirs too. That is real, true, heartfelt love. Not just "sympathetic love", not a guilt-driven emotion, but a love that knows what another heart needs to get through another day, and reaches out to say, "I am here. "
We're all busy. We have families, jobs, schedules, in-laws, out-laws, lawns, houses, cars, and the many other "life things" that keep us going 24/7. But somehow, we need to find time to love. Not just ourselves and our own, but others. It has meant so much to me that busy people have reached out to me after losing my dad and my brother-in-law so close together. They are really good with my heart. People I wouldn't have expected to care, but felt moved to show love to my family. That is what love moves people to do if they are paying attention. I want to pay attention. I will admit, my efforts have backfired on me a few times, but my heart was always in the right place. I believe if you do things with love in your heart, it is always for the right reason. I don't see the point of life if you're not giving your love away.
Love never fails. That's what the Bible says, and I have to believe it, or I'd give up. It's not just a feeling. It's a commitment, it's an action, and it's always worth the time you give it.
