It is not Tuesday,my regular posting day,but I am back. I'm so glad it's Friday! Don't cheer just yet,I might complain just a little. This past week our area was hit with a nasty ice and snow storm,which made a mess of the roads and trees,knocking out power to over 11,000 people in my county alone. The storm came early Sunday morning, and the girls had plans to return to school later that afternoon. We awoke to no power,and with worries of our girls driving back in the mess. Needless to say,anxiety was for breakfast and worry was for lunch. I would love to say I was a cool,unharried mother,but when it comes to storms and kids,I revert back to my preschool days of fevers and all things scary.
I tried to no avail to convince them to stay until Monday,but with finals and work schedules,it was just not possible. With lots of prayers,we sent them on their way,and yes,they made it safely back,taking a safer but longer route to school. I breathed a sigh of relief,and then set to work on the inconvenience of a certain days-long power outage. Because of the low population of our area,we know we aren't a priority when it comes to being top of the list of having our power restored,so Steve drove into town on the unplowed (also last on the county list) road to fill up the gas tanks for the generator,and we settled in.
The power outage was inconvenient,yes. No one likes having to worry about the sump pump in the basement,the food in the refrigerator and freezers,but we weren't worried about much else as far as the house was concerned. What was more concerning was that I had just discovered on Friday that I had run out of one of my medications. This never happens,as all of my medications automatically renew,and if they start to run low,they call my physician. If a problem occurs,they call me,and I have plenty of time to fix the issue. None of that happened,and so I was stuck without one of my crucial medications for my IC condition. I have also been in a horrible flare for the last two weeks. This was not the time to lose power or my medication or to encounter stress! But all of those things happened at once.
When I finally was able to contact my physician,they said they didn't renew my medication because they hadn't seen me for a year. (I was in their office on 2-14-2019 for a 2 hour procedure,which she noted in the correspondence) However,no one notified me. I did not expect this from a top medical facility who supposedly understood how awful this condition is and medication maintenance is crucial. When I tried to make a follow up appointment with them they told me to wait back in July. So....anyway,lately I've just been feeling like no one is really helping and a whole lot of things are really hurting. Ever feel that way? Like a big ole lumpfest of yuck?
I equate this to how it feels when you finally lose hope. People love to tell others, "Stay positive!" or "chin up!" I really want to ask some of those people if they really understand who they are saying that to at all. There is a big difference between a positive attitude and hope. I kept a positive attitude about the power outage day one, day two,and then it started to turn into day three,and the only reason it started to really get under my skin is it was starting to cost a lot of money to keep the generator going. My husband was stressing about work issues,the power outage issues,my health,and it just seemed the list kept going. The generator kept quitting in the night and he was worried about my pain level and keeping me comfortable. By the second night, I missed an entire night of sleep and for some reason,Angel wanted outside at 3 and 4 in the morning. She was a restless dog the entire time the power was out,poor girl. Because of my loss of sleep and lack of hot water the next day,I had to cancel a very important physical therapy appointment that morning. Sigh. When it rains,sometimes it just pours. And freezes if you're in Michigan in December. And sometimes you just lose your "positive attitude" because you can only hold on to measly "positive" for so long!
This is when hope comes in. Hope isn't about getting your power restored,though it is about getting your lights turned back on,in a way. Hope says, yeah,you're right. It's bad,but God will take you through this. His power will restore you. That's why I choose hope over any smarmy positive quote or cheesy affirmation I ever see anywhere. Hope says,this looks like a long,tough wait,but God is going to wait with you. You won't go through this alone. Hope is dependable. A positive attitude is not a bad thing,but it's what I need before I plug a string of Christmas lights in. Not the only thing I need when I'm going through something really tough! God is where my hope is found.
So,I had a pretty rough week,and I know it could have been worse,and I'm thankful it wasn't worse. In the grand scheme of things,it was just a loss of money,time,and probably some new gray hairs. We all have bad moments,days,weeks,and even years. Someone may have it worse than us,it's true. But I'm here to reassure you that I won't dismiss the way YOU feel about YOUR pain and how you are dealing with it by telling you that. What I will say is that yes, it's bad, and I'm sorry. Just don't lose HOPE. Because God is in this with you. He will never leave you or forsake you, no matter how bad it looks,feels,or seems. He is your hope. Hold on.
Humble yourselves,therefore,under God's mighty hand,that He may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you. 1 Peter 5:6,7
I am both positive and hopeful that my writing will return to normal next Tuesday. Prayers for healing would be most appreciated as I try to manage this latest flare. Blessings to you!
I tried to no avail to convince them to stay until Monday,but with finals and work schedules,it was just not possible. With lots of prayers,we sent them on their way,and yes,they made it safely back,taking a safer but longer route to school. I breathed a sigh of relief,and then set to work on the inconvenience of a certain days-long power outage. Because of the low population of our area,we know we aren't a priority when it comes to being top of the list of having our power restored,so Steve drove into town on the unplowed (also last on the county list) road to fill up the gas tanks for the generator,and we settled in.
The power outage was inconvenient,yes. No one likes having to worry about the sump pump in the basement,the food in the refrigerator and freezers,but we weren't worried about much else as far as the house was concerned. What was more concerning was that I had just discovered on Friday that I had run out of one of my medications. This never happens,as all of my medications automatically renew,and if they start to run low,they call my physician. If a problem occurs,they call me,and I have plenty of time to fix the issue. None of that happened,and so I was stuck without one of my crucial medications for my IC condition. I have also been in a horrible flare for the last two weeks. This was not the time to lose power or my medication or to encounter stress! But all of those things happened at once.
When I finally was able to contact my physician,they said they didn't renew my medication because they hadn't seen me for a year. (I was in their office on 2-14-2019 for a 2 hour procedure,which she noted in the correspondence) However,no one notified me. I did not expect this from a top medical facility who supposedly understood how awful this condition is and medication maintenance is crucial. When I tried to make a follow up appointment with them they told me to wait back in July. So....anyway,lately I've just been feeling like no one is really helping and a whole lot of things are really hurting. Ever feel that way? Like a big ole lumpfest of yuck?
I equate this to how it feels when you finally lose hope. People love to tell others, "Stay positive!" or "chin up!" I really want to ask some of those people if they really understand who they are saying that to at all. There is a big difference between a positive attitude and hope. I kept a positive attitude about the power outage day one, day two,and then it started to turn into day three,and the only reason it started to really get under my skin is it was starting to cost a lot of money to keep the generator going. My husband was stressing about work issues,the power outage issues,my health,and it just seemed the list kept going. The generator kept quitting in the night and he was worried about my pain level and keeping me comfortable. By the second night, I missed an entire night of sleep and for some reason,Angel wanted outside at 3 and 4 in the morning. She was a restless dog the entire time the power was out,poor girl. Because of my loss of sleep and lack of hot water the next day,I had to cancel a very important physical therapy appointment that morning. Sigh. When it rains,sometimes it just pours. And freezes if you're in Michigan in December. And sometimes you just lose your "positive attitude" because you can only hold on to measly "positive" for so long!
This is when hope comes in. Hope isn't about getting your power restored,though it is about getting your lights turned back on,in a way. Hope says, yeah,you're right. It's bad,but God will take you through this. His power will restore you. That's why I choose hope over any smarmy positive quote or cheesy affirmation I ever see anywhere. Hope says,this looks like a long,tough wait,but God is going to wait with you. You won't go through this alone. Hope is dependable. A positive attitude is not a bad thing,but it's what I need before I plug a string of Christmas lights in. Not the only thing I need when I'm going through something really tough! God is where my hope is found.
So,I had a pretty rough week,and I know it could have been worse,and I'm thankful it wasn't worse. In the grand scheme of things,it was just a loss of money,time,and probably some new gray hairs. We all have bad moments,days,weeks,and even years. Someone may have it worse than us,it's true. But I'm here to reassure you that I won't dismiss the way YOU feel about YOUR pain and how you are dealing with it by telling you that. What I will say is that yes, it's bad, and I'm sorry. Just don't lose HOPE. Because God is in this with you. He will never leave you or forsake you, no matter how bad it looks,feels,or seems. He is your hope. Hold on.
Humble yourselves,therefore,under God's mighty hand,that He may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you. 1 Peter 5:6,7
I am both positive and hopeful that my writing will return to normal next Tuesday. Prayers for healing would be most appreciated as I try to manage this latest flare. Blessings to you!
