Chronic Illness, The Teacher

When this pandemic arrived and we were somewhat confined to our homes, people were inconvenienced beyond their own imaginations. Suddenly schools were closed and the children were home. Offices shut down and some were forced to work from home with said children underfoot. Some continued to work, while figuring out many complicated details. Some found themselves suddenly unemployed.

While I can’t speak for everyone, of course, I can say that I was probably more prepared than most for a “shelter-in-place”. I didn’t panic or become frustrated over not being able to go where I wanted to go when I wanted to go, or complain that I was feeling imprisoned. I didn’t lose my mind every time the governor extended the stay-at-home order, and not being able to get my hair cut for a few months was no big deal.

The biggest inconvenience was finding that people were panic-buying the one item that all of us need-especially those of us with chronic bladder disease-toilet paper. Sigh...oh people.
See, those of us who have a chronic illness already know what it’s like to “shelter-in-place” and “stay at home”. We know what it feels like to not see friends or family for months at a time, or even go out for many weeks at a time. After spending 22 days on the couch in January, in horrible pain, prison may have been an improvement!

To hear people complaining that they were on “lockdown” after really knowing what chronic illness does to your previously free, unencumbered life was pretty frustrating.
There were times I wanted to ask them how it felt to be able to go for those walks at sunset every day.
How it felt to be able to exercise in their homes without pain. Go to work. Do the things they’ve been taking for granted for years. And still were.

I know what it’s like to give up my mobility, my choices, my flexibility, my activities, my social life, my time, my body, my freedom to be myself or have a job at all. I was prepared for this crisis because my body betrayed me, not coronavirus. Not a governor. Not any dictator with two legs.

And because of my auto-immune and immune-compromised, opposing though apparent things in my body, a deadly virus would affect me differently than it might in an otherwise healthy individual. Maybe. We actually DO NOT have all the science on this yet. Nor do we know if we can build immunity yet. But we sure have a lot of junior and senior braniac experts emerging on Twitter that can save the world! Not. Oh, people, sit down.

Chronic illness, the teacher. The one with the eraser who says, turn around and sit back down. Wait your turn. Stay in your seat. Don’t talk to your neighbor. Stay in line. No talking. I’m in control, not you.

More people ought to know what it really feels like to be under a dictator. Then they might actually appreciate those long walks at sunset.