Consistently Consistent

 I remember telling a friend in an exasperated tone, "I just wish you'd be CONSISTENT with me." I thought what I was asking was simple on my end. Just be the person  you were yesterday. Say what you mean. Mean what you say. Stop being confusing and vague. The results of so many conversations were wishy-washy, wrought with questions, and of course they were, because of the inconsistency behind them all. I was asking for something I didn't realize wasn't as simple as it sounded, but I'll get to that later. But how does consistency lead to a happier life? Why are happier people those who are doing things consistently? I believe they are empowered and not overwhelmed. Succeeding and not seceding. Flourishing and not floundering. Consistent people get things done, and people who are getting things accomplished are people who just seem overall happier with their lives. What do you think? Are consistent people perfect? No! Am I always consistent? No, but I am aware that my inconsistencies with things is leading to my unhappiness or dissatisfaction within them. 

If we want to be healthier, we know it's about eating better foods and stopping our bad habits. We can't do it for just one day or even just one week, one month, or even a year. We have to show up every single day and keep repeating the same healthy habits over and over in order to be a healthy individual.  It has to become who we are and not just what we do. Same with finances. If we want to become more financially stable, we begin to save or invest, pay down debt, and we do it repeatedly and habitually. We need to change our behaviors, put in the effort, and be consistent. Consistency requires us to discipline ourselves and change the way we think about everything- food, money, relationships, health, life. That word will come up in almost anything that brings us any type of benefit- discipline. A disciplined person becomes that way by choosing to repeat the same action over and over, and they do so without having to be told. A person who sets limits and boundaries for themselves does something that an undisciplined person won't do-holds themselves accountable. Maybe that doesn't sound like it could lead to happiness, but in the end, when you set yourself up for success and then don't let yourself down, you actually find yourself a lot more fulfilled, and yes, much happier with who you are as a person. I will clarify by saying that the end result has less to do with our success, but so much more with our consistent effort. When I know I have put in consistent effort, I can handle something not working out so much better than if I had not put in the discipline at all.  

The spiritual discipline of prayer and study brings us knowledge of God and eventually the wisdom that comes from knowing how He works. When we are consistent in communing with God, our relationship with God will also become stronger and healthier. It's not about becoming more "religious" and "doing" something. It's about consistently spending time getting to know God, the way we desire to know others or want them to know us. We can become disciplined in any area of life, whether it is working out at the gym, being on time for work, or getting up early for bible study. It all begins with a choice and a consistent action to follow through. Consistency leads to strength in so many ways. It leads to stronger commitments, better choices, and those among were the other "c" words I grappled with choosing! 

Some of the quotes I searched on the subject of consistency stated that "Consistency is rare." What do you think about that? Is it rare to be consistent or just to experience people who are inconsistent? I don't know that it's rare, per se, but I do think it's challenging at times, depending on the choices we are making. I think the quote I would make about consistency is this- Consistency reveals. It reveals a desire to connect with a person if a relationship is what you want. It reveals a goal, if you are working out at the gym every week and making healthy choices at mealtimes. It reveals commitment, character, priorities, and when being a parent, it reveals patience, or none at all!  A lack of consistency reveals something too, and that's for us to decide. What do we want out of our relationships, our friendships, our careers, finances, parenting goals, health, spiritual lives?  What we are willing to put a consistent effort into will reveal what is most important to us. If we want something to change, it starts with us, and it's probably going to require us to be consistent. As I'm on week seven of a new way of eating, I'm learning that it's not easy, but I'm consistently doing it and the results speak for themselves. If I want a certain type of life, I need to put in a special type of effort. 

When thinking about what consistency can reveal, there is a flip side. When we sit back and watch who is not consistent with us, maybe we shouldn't be asking them to be a more steady presence for us, but instead just observe. It will reveal to us the truth of the relationship, and we may see our own inconsistencies within them. Perhaps it is better to see others as they are rather than expect behaviors from them that they are not capable or willing to deliver. Do we really want someone in our lives that doesn't want to be consistent with us, or continues to take us down Vague Avenue? Should we fight to keep people like that around? Probably not.  Maybe we are expecting consistency from the wrong people, and that in and of itself becomes our own inconsistent behavior. My friend was being consistently inconsistent! It's not too much to ask someone to be loving, kind, or honest with you, but it becomes a problem on our parts when we are continually asking it of a person who is obviously not committed to giving it to us.  We need to be consistent too. Show up for the people who show up for you, and don't freely give away your time to people who have demonstrated that consistency in any form is not their strength or intention. 

If I want to see my book published in this century, (and I do) I need to be writing every day. If I want to sleep better, I need to go to bed earlier every night, and on and on the list will go. No one wants better things for me than me. No one else can make your life into what you want it to be but you. If we want to accomplish a life in which we are finding ourselves in a more positive state of mind, finances, health, relationships, etc...,we need to align our choices with our desired outcomes. And keep doing it with persistence until the goals are achieved.

 If we want to consistently let ourselves down, unfortunately we can do that too, by doing nothing at all. I am choosing to invite God into my process by asking Him to help me with the goals in my life that require me to CONSISTENTLY repeat choices that will help me get there.