Let's Talk about.....

 Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O Lord, my strength, and my redeemer. Psalm 19:14 

When I think of that, I'm reminded of all the things I've said and still say, and whether or not God would approve of them. This is an effective prayer for anyone who wants to start their day off with God at the wheel. God's conviction is the main reason I took myself off social media, and have not returned. I have not found it to be a safe place for my heart, and it's not a healthy place for a person who is seeking to BE at peace, and not just ACT peaceful. It is a struggle for me to remain peaceful sometimes, and it's something many could relate to, but I think we have to desire true peace more than we want the things in our world to just "be going right" to realize it. I wonder just how many people realize that peace is actually what they're missing- in the world, in our personal lives, and in everything and everyone around us. Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. John 14:27 For a Christian seeking peace, we understand that we will always have some kind of strife, and life will never be without some kind of conflict going on. It doesn't mean we have to react with our human hysteria.  We can turn to God and seek His peace. But why don't we always do that? Are we too busy still trying to get things to go our way so we can feel "satisfied"? I don't know, but even when things go our so-called way, some of us are still not at peace. Peace is deeper than just feeling satisfied, because it requires that we trust God and we give up our own agendas, wants, and desires. The two won't always go together. 

A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. Proverbs 15:1

If I don't raise a big commotion over something, some people assume I just don't care. Someone even assumed I must be uninformed. Someone told me that she was accused by a disgruntled man of having her 'head in the sand' because she chose not to argue with him about politics in her own place of business. Why is it when we choose calmness or peace, that some people don't recognize it for the good that it is? We've become too used to reactionary defense. Instant retaliation. Total engagement. We're getting too used to uprisings, harsh words, violence, hate, personal attacks. We're either becoming too much like them or even a little desensitized when we don't even recognize peace as an option to solve a problem.  Why doesn't a gentle answer always turn away wrath? Because some people choose anger instead of peace, and anger drowns out the most sensible and reasonable answers. It doesn't solve anything, but it is loud and everyone hears it.  But who taught us that peace solves the problem? Peace calms the storm. Peace stands up in the middle of a boat taking on water, and doesn't start hollering and panicking. Peace solves a really big problem with a word. 

Jesus did. Then he got into the boat and his disciples followed him. Suddenly a furious storm came up on the lake, so that the waves swept over the boat, But Jesus was sleeping. The disciples went and woke him, saying, "Lord, save us! We're going to drown!" He replied, "You of little faith, why are you so afraid?" Then he got up and rebuked the winds and the waves, and it was completely calm. Matthew 8:23-26 

 The disciples start waking him up to tell him (and I'm paraphrasing), "Dude, we're gonna die!" He wakes up, basically tells them there's nothing to worry about because hello, I'm Jesus, and I've been here the whole time, and do you think I'm going to let you drown? Where, exactly, is your faith in me? They had seen him performing miracles, but here they were not believing he could help them while he was right there in the boat with them. He rescued them from the storm with a word, as he does for us so many times, whether we believe he will or not. I can see why we can be so blind to our own faith sometimes, when the disciples had Jesus right under their own noses and still didn't trust. God was trying to tell them He would be with them through all the hard times. He's trying to tell us the same. But if we don't choose to hear, we won't know the full benefits of His peace when those storms hit.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6 

 We can still speak about important issues with peace. We don't need to argue with everyone on social media or in the grocery store lines. We can be instruments of change without being a hindrance to people who could actually help. We can get our messages across without making people feel judged, unloved, unwanted,  or unapproved.  When peace joins love, it's more than a 60's and 70's slogan! I see it as something that makes it possible for people with opposing views to have meaningful conversations that can change the way we and they think. It doesn't have to change our core values and our beliefs. But being able to have peaceful conversations needs to happen and it does need to change the way we view others. We don't have to hate someone because they are different. We don't even have to understand why they're different! But to regard others with hostility and fear because they don't believe or act the way we think they should is not the way to get to the kind of love God commands us to extend to others. If we prioritize people over differences, we can actually get past our anger and annoyances and get to a place of peace. Will it ever be Kumbaya with every single problem? Maybe not, but I think we can all think of at least one situation where we can do a whole lot better and build a bridge instead of blowing one up. 

One tip I heard about discussing difficult issues with someone is to ask questions instead of offering opinions. So if someone begins talking about a sensitive topic with you, instead of jumping in with comments (my famous mistake), a good plan is to say, "Tell me more about that." You'll find they may soften and so will you. When we can let go of our need to be right or our ego's need to join the convo, we will be able to find some kind of common ground even on a supposed war field. I'm going to try this sometime. Pray for me.  If all else fails, start singing "Kumbaya..." Bring a tootsie pop to stick in your mouth between comments. We've got this. 

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. Ephesians 4:29 

Cool News and a Tribute

 I feel like I can talk about this now, as it is finally happening in real time. The book I am co-authoring with my dear friend and mentor, Norm Sawyer (sirnorm.com) is in the final stages of publishing. I don't usually talk about projects until they are completed, but I can say with confidence that the ink is very close to being dry on this one, and there are so many cool elements to this project that I can hardly be quiet about it anymore. It's not just a book with pages and spine. It was brought about by God and divine timing. 

When I think about how this all came about-writing my first book with Norm, I am a bit gobsmacked, as the Brits would say. Who would have thought that a person like me, living in a small farm town of barely 1500 in the states, would one day write a book with a Canadian world traveler living in a much bigger city, published author of (I've lost count of how many now) several books, and we would meet because we were both pecking away on our blogs way back in 2013? His, life application topics relating to the bible, and mine, various life situations relating to being a wife and mother of two. 

It has always been a dream of mine to write a book, but I have always lacked confidence and faith in myself to even step out and try. I have always kept it to myself, but thought I probably would never do it. One day last year, Norm sent me a message and said the Lord gave him a direction to write a book with me. I literally got chills on the spot. I felt an excitement run through me that I hadn't felt in a really long time. You see, I had been asking the Lord to help me get past myself, knowing I am my own obstacle. Norm has given me many writing opportunities in his own books by allowing me to write the foreword of one, and choosing to add some of my articles and poems to others. He would then invite me to edit his work, giving me a insiders look into the book publishing process. These gracious acts have blessed me in a way that have left this wordsmith completely speechless, but moved in a way that I never expected. I had the luxury of putting one toe at a time into a process that had always intimidated me, instead of plunging in headfirst. Writing a book with Norm meant I would have someone to give me direction and help me along the way in a daunting new process. I am currently learning so much, and enjoying the arduous process of putting a book together. As we've been putting this together, we've both gotten questions about how this has come to be. 

In 2013, I believe Norm may have commented on one of my blog posts, which led me to his blog, and I was hooked. I love the Proverbs, and his blog is called, Sir Norm's Proverbial Comment. I found a home there for my anxious mind and my seeking heart. I never dreamed I would find who would become one of my dearest friends too. All I can say when people ask me, "How did you meet Norm?" is "I got what I prayed for." It doesn't have to make sense, because when God is in it, cool things happen. I had forwarded many of his blogs to my family to aid them in different circumstances, and I began to write down certain things he would say on notecards around my house. In that sense, Norm became my mentor and a pastor, and a direction into my life that I began to trust. I didn't tell him he was my mentor, I just treated him as such! I always say I just adopted him into the role. More than all of that, he is my friend, and I am his friend as well. As much as he pours into my life, at times I have been able to speak into his as well, and that has been the bond of friendship that stands. I am pretty invested in praying for his family as well- his wife, sons, and grandchildren. 

It took me a really long time to really realize how much I cared for Norm, and that I had come to rely on him for his nuggets of wisdom, because in my experience, I lose quickly the people I love. So the closer he came to me, the more fear I began to feel. What if Norm leaves, what if Norm decides I'm not worth his time anymore...and on and on the fear threatened me. But what I came to realize was that he didn't put conditions on me. I was able to be myself, flaws and all, and I didn't feel the usual retreat that others had displayed in the past. He came to me with the love the Lord gave him to give, and with that came no price. That's what made it different. I had no worries or fears about being judged or left behind, and with that lesson also came an example of how I should also be loving others. The acceptance he showed me was exactly the way Jesus asks us to love others. And that, my friends, is why this friendship is God's work. 

He also began to expect me to live out what he was teaching me, and in that I began to learn that I can't be doing the same old immature things and expecting a mature result. Was this new information? Well, when put with God's word, it was new to me. I have come to him with friendship concerns, family problems, personal issues, politics questions, prayer requests, and probably even weather complaints. Each time, he has a way of showing me my responsibility in each equation. God's word in every issue. That is a friend. That is a person who lives what he says, and expects something of me too. I need that in my life without thinking I could lose someone due to my faults and weaknesses. Don't we all need that? I believe we do, and if we ask God for this, He will deliver. Just don't expect it to come as you picture it. It may be a pastoral man from Canada who says, "HA!" when he laughs. I'm just sayin'. 

This may have just turned into a tribute to my friend Norm instead of the announcement of our book, Thoughts From a Friend, but everyone always wants to know, "Who is this Norm?" "How did you meet?" Well, now you all know. This unique little book is a compilation of our poetry, commentary, and stories about life and travel. The traveling part is Norm. I am basically a hermit, which is even funnier that we are the most unlikely of friends. This book was a unique idea of Norm's in order to combine some of our work. A  60-something Canadian Christian man, A 50-something American Christian woman, living completely different lives in different countries, yet the common thread is the love of God, writing, and wanting to reach others for Christ. I hope you'll check the book out when it is available. The cover is more art by his late brother Kane, and it is special. I truly feel God has brought this friendship to fruition for His glory, and the works we bring together will bring good to others. 

 

What Makes A Good Leader?

 When I think of a good leader, there are many traits I would attribute to the makeup of a person who fits that description. In fact, I found a list in an old notebook of 36 descriptive qualities of what I consider to be a great leader. I think of the people in my life who I consider to fit those qualities, my husband being one of them, and the people in the world who do not. It is interesting, to say the least, who ends up being in charge of things who don't seem well-equipped for leadership, and then we wonder why things are such as they are in those places. A mess of fear, anxiety, chaos, and unrest will likely follow a leader who has no leadership skills in order to calm the masses. I have so many examples, but we don't have all day. 

" A real leader speaks to anxiety and to fear and allays those fears, assuages anxiety." 

Henry Louis Gates 

While I have my list of leadership qualities, such as honesty, integrity, empathy, diplomacy, intelligence, compassion, cooperation, accountability, trustworthiness, loyalty, humility, transparency, etc... the Bible has its own list as well. I'd venture to say that if leaders were following the biblical version of leadership, our world would be a much more peaceful place where people feel safe, heard, and protected. This is not the case, however, and probably never will be as long as the self-driven motivators are allowed to "lead" us like power, money, and greed. (I apologize that I seem to be a bit cynical today. Did I not eat my Wheaties or what??)

Maybe as we think of some of these leaders we either respect or don't, it would be a good practice to put them under a microscope once in awhile. Do they exhibit good leadership skills as described in God's word? And if not, why are we elevating them? Why do we allow them access to powerful places? Why do we trust them with important things? I wouldn't trust them with a pet rock, and yet, here we are. (Yeah, it's more than a Wheaties withdrawal)

Good leaders in the bible are described as: 

Humble servants- But you are not to be like that. Instead, the greatest among you should be like the youngest, and the one who rules like the one who serves. Luke 22:26 

They do not tolerate wrongdoing-  So whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him it is sin. James 4:17  

They are honest and open- Lying lips are an abomination to the Lord, but those who act faithfully are his delight. Proverbs 12:22 

They make rules that people will be glad to follow- Direct me in the path of your commands, for there I find delight. Psalm 119:35 

They protect their people- even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast. Psalm 139:10 

They are merciful and compassionate-they will neither hunger nor thirst, nor will the desert heat nor the sun beat down on them. He who has compassion on them will guide them and lead them beside springs of water. 

They do not tempt people to do evil-And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one. Matthew 6:13

They are knowledgeable and mindful- Leave them; they are blind guides. If the blind lead the blind, both will fall into a pit. Matthew 15:14

They lead in peacefulness and godliness- for kings and those in authority, that we may live peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness. 1 Timothy 2:2

Their words are respectful- Avoid godless chatter, because those who indulge in it will become more and more ungodly. 2 Timothy 2:16

They are hardworking- if it is to encourage, then give encouragement; if it is giving, then give generously; if it is to lead, do it diligently; if it is to show mercy, do it cheerfully. Romans 12:8 

They have good advisers around them- For lack of guidance a nation falls, but victory is won through many advisers. Proverbs 11:14 

They are faithful leaders who work based on love- In love a throne will be established; in faithfulness a man will sit on it-one from the house of David- one who in judging seeks justice and speeds the cause of righteousness. Isaiah 16:5

They have the will to serve; they're not greedy for money- Be shepherds of God's flock that is under your care, watching over them-not because you must, but because you are willing, as God wants you to be; not pursuing dishonest gain, but eager to serve; 1 Peter 5:2

They lead by example- not lording it over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock. 1 Peter 5:3

They have skills and integrity- And David shepherded them with integrity of heart; with skillful hands he led them. Psalm 78:72

They are prudent, not hasty- Or suppose a king is about to go to war against another king. Won't he first sit down and consider whether he is able with ten thousand men to oppose the one coming against him with twenty thousand? Luke 14:31

They are a good role model to anyone- Here is a trustworthy saying: whoever aspires to be an overseer desires a noble task. Now the overseer is to be above reproach, faithful to his wife, temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not given to drunkenness, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money. 1 Timothy 3:1-3

They practice the Golden Rule- Do to others as you would have them do to you. Luke 6:31 

Who are the good leaders you know? Are you one? Do you live with one, work with one? Think on these the next time you choose someone to lead or are chosen to lead. It's something I will be more mindful of going forward. 

I don't believe most politicians fit these descriptions, sorry. That's my opinion. Pray for those who are in these positions anyway, whether you like them or not. My thoughts are that people who DO fit these descriptions would most likely not get into the grease and grime of political leadership, but would instead lead pretty cool families, like moms, dads, and grandparents, etc.. and workplaces, classrooms, churches, companies, and the like. You see my thought bubble, I hope. We can all be leaders for Christ, and hold others accountable who are in leadership positions. A good leader would expect that and answer to it thoughtfully. 

 I urge then, first of all, that petitions, prayers, intercession and thanksgiving be made for all people-for kings and all those in authority, that we may live peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness. This is good, and pleases God our Savior, who wants all people to be saved and to come to a knowledge of the truth.  1 Timothy 2:1-4