The Losing Game

 We do not dare to classify or compare ourselves with some who commend themselves. When they measure themselves by themselves and compare themselves with themselves, they are not wise. 

2 Corinthians 10:12

My family loves to play board games. They have their favorites, such as Settlers of Catan and Ticket to Ride. Those aren't my particular favorites, so I usually sit out for those, but if they get out the Skip-Bo cards or a word game, I'm in! One game we should never play in our family or with anyone is the Comparison Game. 

The Comparison Game is a losing game and not fun at all, but it's one that we've all caught ourselves playing at one time or another. I don't know about you, but in my family, we all like to have fun and win at games! Our games are friendly competitions, but making comparisons are rarely, if ever, friendly, and they always result in some kind of dissatisfaction. When we begin to compare ourselves with someone else, we've already started to lose. We're losing our focus and eventually we'll lose our peace too. When you feel like you're being compared to others, the feeling is the same. No one likes to feel they have been put into involuntary competition with other people. 

Whether we are comparing joys or sorrows, it will always be an unfair and useless comparison. No two people are alike, just as no two experiences result in the same outcome. When we allow people to have their own experience without trying to compare ours or anyone else's, we avoid the oneupmanship or dismissive comments that often happen, whether intentional or not. When someone is sharing their suffering, the last thing you should want to do is jump in with how your own suffering is worse, or even better. 

Theodore (Teddy) Roosevelt was the one who said "Comparison is the thief of joy."  It's not a verse in the bible, as many think it is, though there are many examples of it there. It started way at the beginning with Eve believing Satan when he told her to eat of the fruit so she could be like God. Genesis 3:4 "You will not surely die," the serpent said to the woman. 5"For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil." She was already comparing herself to God! He was God. She was human. God had already told her not to eat from any tree in the garden. She had one job! That's how crafty Satan is, right? He's got us comparing ourselves to everything we've ever wanted and everyone we've ever wanted to be if he gets his deceptive way. Playing the game of comparison is a losing game. In this way, comparison comes not from God, but from our own pride, and from a desire to be like someone or something else in this world. We will either end up thinking we are better than someone else, or thinking someone is better than us! The result of comparison shows up in jealousy, frustration, hopelessness, envy, and a general sense of dissatisfaction. All of these things are the opposite of peace and acceptance of ourselves and others. 

The disciples tried to win the game too. 

Luke 22:24-27  24 Also a dispute arose among them as to which of them was considered to be the greatest. 25 Jesus said to them, "The kinds of the Gentiles lord it over them; and those who exercise authority over them call themselves Benefactors. 26 But you are not to be like that. Instead, the greatest among you should be like the youngest, and the one who rules like the one who serves. 27 For who is greater, the one who is at the table or the one who serves? Is it not the one who is at the table? But I am among you as one who serves. 

 All Jesus is asking for is one humble servant. Put others above yourselves and there won't be an issue about "who is the greatest," because that isn't the goal! Jesus is the greatest and also the humble servant. He has no need of comparison because it is His humility that He wants them to learn. 

Galatians 1:10 Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ.

The danger in comparing things and others is that we bring into it our own needs, insecurities, judgments, and  pride. When we compare someone else's looks, their life, their occupation, family, etc... we've already started believing who we are and what we have isn't good enough. It's a big fat lie. What God wants us to do is focus on our own lives as far as using the gifts and talents he gave us to accomplish the purpose he has already set inside us. He also wants us to mind our own beeswax. That IS in the bible-1 Thessalonians 4:11-12  Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business and to work with your hands, just as we told you, 12 so that your daily life will win the respect of outsiders and so that you will not be dependent on anybody. Why would we waste time comparing ourselves to other people when we could get busy living our own lives to the fullest? We may just realize how much we really love who we are, and when we focus on our own talents, we might be amazed at how much happier we become. Who are we trying to please anyway? God or other people? Spoiler alert, it's God. We can't please other people. 

Comparison will either make you feel inferior or superior. Neither honors God. -Craig Groeschel 

A person who is busy living their own life and not comparing everything and everyone is also free to authentically love others. It can be challenging to love others when in constant competition or judgment of them. The person who can't celebrate someone's blessings and can only come up with comparisons instead, is a person who will struggle to extend God's love and grace to them. This is why God commanded we love one another. He knew how prone we would be to this natural flesh problem.  Being able to see ourselves and those around us for the unique individual path they are on is a gift. While each person's journey takes twists and turns and ups and downs, we should be ready to meet them where they are, and not compare where we think they should be to the end game of another or to our own. 

Constantly comparing our bodies, our homes, our financial situations, our cars, our families, our vacation destinations, our jobs, our spirituality, and on and on the endless list goes, might be "human," as some people say, but it's not godly.  It's a tactic that can be used by our enemy to drag us down and try to convince us that we aren't already a blessing in God's sight. It's a weapon used by the enemy that can be used to attack others for not being all we think they should be. We were created by God, in His image. Every one of us. The people around our tables. The people at our jobs. Our neighbors. Strangers. The people we scroll on social media. We can go ahead and tirelessly compare ourselves to others, but God is only looking at the one he uniquely created and knows inside and out. Let's look around us with God's eyes. We and they are good. That's all we need to know. Let's help each other keep it going. 

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11

The one thing we all have in common is that God created us for His unique purpose. Romans 8:5 Those who live according to the sinful nature have their minds set on what that nature desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. The more we try to emulate the things of the world, the more we are in danger of losing sight of the unique purpose that God has placed inside of us. We may all be on different journeys, but we are all worthy of being loved and accepted for the unique and special people we are. We were not made to look alike, nor have the same talents, personalities, abilities, body shapes, or occupations and financial statuses. Humans are the ones who place values and limitations on other humans! When we compare ourselves or others, we reveal the condition of our own hearts.  There may be some cleaning up in there to do if we're not feeling peace in this area. Everyone God created is precious in His sight, and that means you too. 

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. Psalm 139:13-14

 

Make Room on Your Bookshelf for This!

 

Hi this is Norm Sawyer

 

I would like you to join me in congratulating my friend Jami Lynch Rogers on her accomplishment of graduating from being a wonderful writer to now being an author.

Jami and I have co-written a book that we hope will bring blessings and peace to everyone's hearts. 

Please give our Jami a word of celebratory thankfulness for all the hard work she puts into her articles so that we can all grow in the Lord.

 

Congratulations Miss Jami!

You may purchase the book directly from Jami or Norm (sirnorm.com )or at Amazon.com at this link: https://a.co/d/4Xkbart

The Great and True Story

 Today's post is dedicated to my dear friend, mentor, and co-author, Norm Sawyer, who is celebrating his birthday today, May 1st! Happy birthday, Norm! During the mess that was 2020, Norm was the one outside of the US that I was able to continually turn to outside of my family, for solid Godly wisdom and advice. He turned me around when I sure felt the walls closing in around me. It could have been a very dark time, but because of his strong faith and continued trust in the Lord, I felt his strength and example leading me to a much brighter perspective. It's true that some people do make a difference in our lives if we pay attention to what they are trying to teach us. Always pay attention to the lighthouses and the lightkeepers in your lives, friends. Enjoy the blessings of your birthday, Norm. May the joy and love you bring to others be returned tenfold to you! (Sirnorm.com)

You're standing in line at the grocery store or the gas station, and someone starts in on some real "out there" (to you) topic. You realize you're an involuntary hostage to a barrage of odd theories from a person who just found a sitting duck to unleash them upon. I've been there. You see the post on social media, "The mainstream media won't tell you this!" You've been at the social gathering and heard the rabbit hole topics going around. Oh boy, down, down down it goes, and you scroll on by, or you painfully smile and carry on, and you sigh the big sigh, because what else can you do, right? You know the drill. There is rarely, if any follow- up to the information being dealt out. It's not a conversation, but rather a spewing of bits and odd things strung together, sometimes with a shred of truth in there, made to sound like a fact. One lie has the power to tarnish a thousand truths. Al David In this way, you can't really come back with a question or a fact, because the mind has already been made up, and you will sound like their enemy. I know, this sounds insane even as I'm imagining it and have lived it. It's as fun as an umbrella in a windstorm. Inside you're kind of fighting to keep it together, while on the outside trying to keep yourself safe from any kind of storm. 

Who is immune to conspiratorial thinking? Who can rise above allowing their minds to become entrenched in believing all sorts of unhealthy, unreasonable and distorted concepts? Philippians 4:6-7 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be known by God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.  There is an answer when we are careful not to become enraged, worried, or even self-righteous about the things we hear. When we instead ask God to filter our hearts and replace His understanding for our own human and flawed thinking. We can become peaceful in our thoughts and in our actions, and rest in the fact that God is in control, though things and others may be raging around us.  Psalm 46:10 Be still and know that I am God.

I'm going to go out on a limb here and say, I believe all conspiracy theories are garbage. All of them. Not one of them contains knowledge, but is filled with the capacity to spread fear, insecurity, and discord among large quantities of people. What they all have in common is they might contain just a kernel of truth so that we start to wonder if they could be true. They're ripe with confusion, and who else revels in confusion? Who else enjoys this kind of division and havoc?  1Peter 5:8 Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.  I have watched many people "go off the deep end" with their careless rhetoric and lose their critical thinking skills in many subjects.  I have heard many people, who in the name of "good intentions" and even with God's name and in the spirit of "sharing the truth," spread information that is damaging to others, and isn't truthful at all. What message are they thinking we're taking in? What do you want me to do with it? 

Digressing for a moment here, I've always been a skeptical person. You'll be hard-pressed to get me to believe what you're selling if it's the least bit sketchy. I laugh when I think of the time some students tried to pressure me into signing a bogus petition to say something mean about a teacher. I was one of very few that refused to sign it. I simply said, "I don't like him either, but I'm not signing my name to that. It's not true and it's mean." They ostracized me for a couple days and that was that. I've been building myself up for a time when I will be very unpopular for the beliefs I hold. But as Norm kept reminding me, 'You and God are a majority.' We can't be afraid to lose friends over the truth. But we should be concerned if we're losing them when we're not even sure about it. 

 Maybe there is some kind of satisfaction in hitting that share button, or the spewing of words because there is a kind of comfort in expressing our shared fear, or validation when others agree with us. I don't know, but  if that's the case, then these things are clearly being heard and said out of fear and frustration and not out of a clear desire to be enlightened, or understood with concern and protection. There is a clear difference. If we want our messages heard so that they make a difference for the better, we need to change our hearts and minds with the right motives first. We need to make sure what we say is truly for the good of others and not just because we think it's for the good of others. That requires setting our own egos aside. It demands we look around at the people we follow in life, and question whether or not they are the good examples of truth and integrity we think they are. Are we really following a person of good character, or are we just looking to validate whatever we hope to be true? It's never a bad idea to examine our own motives, or look around and take stock of where we receive information. Is it fun to be wrong? No, it's very humbling, but when God deals with us, it can also be very powerful, because when we allow God to show us where we've gone astray, he replaces that pride with a strong character. Proverbs 22:4 The reward for humility and fear of the Lord is riches and honor and life. 

 Any one of us, Christians included, can be deceived to share wrong information. Sometimes out of fear and insecurity, and sometimes out of anger. Maybe we think it's the right information and we think we're helping. We've all said something we thought was true and found out later that it wasn't. The problem with that is, we didn't take the time to analyze it before we quickly said it or shared it, and there is a great responsibility in what we've just said. Proverbs 10:19 Sin is not ended by multiplying words, but the prudent hold their tongues. I often think about the things I post long after I've said them. I wonder if my words are making a positive impact, or if I've hurt someone needlessly. As my comment tagline says, Words matter. Choose them carefully. I have to practice what I preach too! As  1Peter 5:8 states, our enemy is prowling around, just looking to destroy us. This includes what we say and how we interact with others. He would love for all of our relationships to fail, because it is in relationships that Jesus thrives. Matthew 22:37-39 Jesus replied: Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' We have to be wise with our words and that starts with our thoughts. Matthew 15:11 What goes into someone's mouth does not defile them, but what comes out of their mouth, that is what defiles them." 

 Asking God to temper our hearts and direct our thoughts and our words is the only way to guarantee we are going to have right information, clear heads, and will only speak when we have something He wants us to share. Imagine how quiet it would be on social media. Ahhhh...But even more importantly, how much more at peace our own hearts would be when not cluttered with all the things causing fear, insecurity and unrest on a daily basis? Romans 12:2 Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is-his good, pleasing and perfect will.  

And just to touch again on those pesky so-called conspiracy theories. We have a responsibility for what we are absorbing into our own brains. Not just because the spilling of it could negatively affect others, but because the carrying of it hurts ourselves too. Sure, the oranges are going to believe what the oranges say, and the apples will believe what the apples say, but what do YOU believe? You, deep down inside your heart that God designed? You, standing there not caring what anyone else thinks or says, but only listening to your own heart? You and God are a majority, after all. Psalm 56:4 In God, whose word I praise-in God I trust and am not afraid. What can mere mortals do to me? 

Like I said above, some things are just designed to spread fear, and if we are a part of that, we've fallen into the trap of the enemy. If we want to be part of a Big Deal Story, let's be a big deal part of the One that sets us apart from all of those rotten-to-the-core stories that when re-told, rot us all a little more inside. I'm staying true to my story, and I reject the ones that cause my heart to fear. I trust in the Lord and His great story. I pray that you will believe in that story with me. I'm going to keep spreading His messages, because they are true and they bring peace. Blessings. 

Psalm 28:7 The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and he helps me. My heart leaps for joy, and with my song I praise him.