If You're Reading This...

 If you're reading this....

This will be my last post, at least for awhile. I will still be writing, but not for weekly posting. I am burned out. I notice as I sit and write, I am surrounded by my untouched craft supplies, and my shelves and shelves of unread books. Books that I have been longing to curl up in a corner with and lose myself in. I miss creating in my glue books, scrapbooks, and collage art books. I have spent the last 7 months planning a wedding, and fighting the illness in my body that thrives off stress. Writing has not been the release nor the balm it used to be. It became a job and part of the stress, once I made it something I "had to do" and put pressure on myself to change the way I was doing it. Lately, I have sensed that what drew me to writing is something that I have missed and need to revisit. 

In the very beginning, I treated this blog like a daily journal, sharing my family moments and my own revelations as I grew and learned about things and people around me. As the world has changed, I have felt more of a responsibility to bring something of more substance and less "fluff" and family, but to be honest, when I want to feel better about this world, I need to share my fluff–which to me is what keeps my joy alive. I don't know that I have been that source anymore. I've become more aware and I've grown more spiritually. Maybe I just need to find a better balance of the two. This time will help me figure that out. 

I ordered three new books yesterday. Mind you, I have piles of books to get through! But after this wedding, I have plans to enjoy the silence in my mind and allow others to speak to me gently with their created words. I'm tired of my own. One of the books I ordered is True Faced: Trust God and Others with Who You Really Are, By Bruce McNicol, John S. Lynch, and Bill Thrall and another is by Lysa Terkeurst called Good Boundaries and Goodbyes: Loving Others Without Losing the Best of Who You Are. I'm sensing a theme...At my age, I know who I am. I'm just not sure if I've always been willing to share it. Experience tells me that being true to myself means losing others. Being true to others means losing myself. All of that tells me that I need to find my tribe. I'm not the only one who has said that to me.

I also enjoy good fiction and autobiographies, and I have a few of those "queued up" as well. Both Natalie and Serena have given me good suggestions, and our last enjoyable book  browse together in a Chronicles of Narnia themed bookshop had me thinking of even more titles to ponder. They still haven't reached out about my request to carry our book, so maybe they're just not interested. The state of mind I've been in says to just breathe and let it be. I'm tired of carrying so many things. 

We have some very ill family members, which requires us to dig deeper into our faith. When doing so, I find I need to feed my soul with things that help me relax and are less likely to add more stress to my life. I've taken more nature rides/walks, for one, and turned my phone off when I need some quiet time. The wedding is right around the corner and I've spent the last week sick. What that tells me is I have more to do in the way of relaxation in my mind and spirit. Because of those ill family members, we also have more physical things we need to be doing for them. Life is just a lot of things at once sometimes. Nothing takes its turn. Nothing is going to slow down for me, so I need to be the one to slow down.

A prayer card on my desk reminds me, The Lord is near to all who call on Him. Psalm 145:18 I'm calling non-stop, even if it doesn't seem like I'm getting an answer. Most days it feels like God's line is busy. I'm sure it's my fault, but I'm learning to give myself grace, believe it or not. 

If writing and sharing here becomes my happy place again, I will return. If you're reading this, thank you. 

That Viral Thing

"Cool things happen all day long and nobody knows about them." -Jami 

 

I said the above just the other day, when tiring of the word, "viral" being seen and over on my YouTube feed. From "run out and get this NOW" products to slogging some new goop either down my throat or on my face for "instant results"! Why do people get so caught up on collecting and running after "viral" things on social media platforms? Why is someone always trying to make things "go viral"?  (Easy answer: clicks = cash) Am I going to miss out if I don't buy the latest xxx that everyone is wearing/using? (short answer: NO) Maybe it's the loner or possibly the obliviousness in me, but I like what I like, and I don't really give much thought to what others are wearing and doing. After partially watching a video where a content creator was furiously shopping all over looking for a certain item that all of the TikTokers were showing, I shut it off, and I said out loud, "Cool things happen all day long and you're missing out on them!" Is it just the thrill of the hunt? Why collect a bunch of stuff just for the sake of collecting what other people TELL you is the hot thing you must have because everyone has it? Maybe this is a sign that I'm just too old, I don't know, but I think it's a sign that some of us need to find better things to chase. There are some of us who can easily turn away from the influence of others, but some people are easily influenced by people, products, and lots of other things. We do need to be mindful of who and what we are following. It's easy to get caught up in a smooth-tongued YouTuber who seems to "have it all," but things aren't always what they seem, and it's really important to know that! Proverbs 11:28 Those who trust in their riches will fall, but the righteous will thrive like a green leaf.

What are you willing to let your heart and mind go "viral" for? Which influencer are you following in order to have your needs fulfilled? And why is God the only One? Matthew 6:33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 

I thought about it even more as I took my daily pickle picking walk out to the garden with my sweet 4-legged best friend. She teaches me to stop and sniff a little longer, if you will. I followed the latest robin who's been feeding its young somewhere close by. I finally discovered the nest high up in the maple tree near the barn. While checking the pear tree out in the orchard, I discovered a tiny bird's nest. After the first of our blueberry crop was savagely devoured by some unknown four legged or winged bandits, I was able to snatch a few ripe berries to hide away for later. We have rogue potatoes and onions growing in the compost pile, and the other day I happened upon a tiny fawn who just caught me staring at it, and studied Angel and I ever so cautiously. To me, these are very cool things to find. These are the things worthy of reporting and telling people to go out and grab! They're in your backyard, your neighborhood, and even in the cities. These are the things that won't leave you or your wallets empty after you've had your fill of them. Nature is God-created, free, and ours for the taking if we want to stop and take it in. Job 12:10 In his hand is the life of every creature and the breath of all mankind.

As much as some may chase the "things" of the world in order to be as "happy" as the person online appears to be once they find the coveted item, we know deep down that things won't truly satisfy a person. When everyone wants the same coveted item, it suddenly becomes hard to find and more desired. I came across a dollar store channel on YouTube that is still trying to find some viral product, and has been all over the country looking for it and still can't find it. Friends, it's a sanitizer. A hand sanitizer. That's all it is and that's all it does. Apparently it looks like a copy of an expensive brand name one, so it is highly sought after.  Suddenly it has gained importance because it can't be found. Now that everyone wants it, people are saying that the clerks are "hiding it" behind the counter when it comes in, and customers are "buying whole boxes" in order to sell it at a higher price online. Did I mention that it's just a hand sanitizer at a dollar store? Next week I'll probably hear about how terrible sanitizer is and how everyone should ban it. (Social media is a wild place)The focus becomes getting the hot item and how they will feel once they get their hands on it and tell everyone, but what happens once they get home with it? Are they happy or do they just move on to the next viral thing? That's the problem. It's a never-ending, soul-sucking habit that doesn't satisfy the deepest longings in us as human beings. Only God can satisfy our cravings, and we can ask Him to remove those desires we have for everything and replace them with a desire to be content. 

I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. Philippians 4:10-12

Is anyone out there old enough to remember the whole cabbage patch doll fiasco in the 80's? The beanie babies of the 90's? It was like the wild, wild west in those days. Ladies slapping ladies over baby dolls, my goodness! I had a knockoff cabbage patch doll made by some sweet lady my mom knew. Never cared for the beanies. What I'm noticing since 2020 is the stores putting out their holiday merchandise 2-3 months before the holiday season, and people filling up their carts earlier and earlier with those items. Because I plan a lot of parties for family members, I've noticed if I'm doing a theme party, I have to purchase those items well in advance of a season or I won't find them at all. For example, shopping for a summer themed party in March to make sure those items aren't gone by May, and they usually are very picked over by then. People are shopping in a frenzy, which doesn't seem to go along with the "failing economy" narrative I'm also hearing constantly. People should watch the consumption on YouTube, and be shocked at all the boosting of economies going on. It's a free-for-all, and not slowing down any time soon. There is a viral tendency out there, for sure. It's a virus in our minds to believe we have to have everything and we have to have it now or we'll miss it. That is a flat out lie, and planning a wedding has had me falling for it left and right. This virus runs deeper than we realize. 1 John 2:16 For everything in the world–the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life–comes not from the Father but from the world. 

  Retailers don't think it's a problem when they continue to sell out of viral products. They've even created "as seen on TV" or "Viral on Tik Tok" products in their stores. No shade to influencers, but I don't need people to tell me what to buy, and I certainly won't pay them to do it, especially when I know they don't even use it.  It's great for the retailers, but becomes a thorn for shoppers who just want to find the thing they actually need, and don't want to pay an inflated price for it online somewhere. The $1.25 sanitizer I mentioned? You can find it on different online markets for $25.00, being sold by individuals who are trying to make a buck off the fact that they have the viral product someone is desperate to own. It's insane, and this type of greed and overconsumption just ruins it for everyone, even if they don't realize it yet. Hebrews 13:5 Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you." Satisfaction won't come with owning that thing or any other thing until you're at peace with what you already have and are satisfied that you already have everything you need and trust God with all that you still desire. 

 Same with nature–if you abuse it or try to take too much of it for yourself, you will ruin it for yourself and others. We used to love going to a certain northern city, but because it has become so overrun with tourists and traffic, it's no longer the quiet beach town we once loved many years ago as a young couple. It seems that once too many people "discover" a hideaway type place, it becomes a place to avoid. Gone are the days of finding special places or deciding to go camping on a whim. Since 2020, many campgrounds now require many months if not a year's ahead reservation due to overcrowding. Places we once went to because they were small and "untraveled" are now overrun with people. Even our favorite dark sky park went commercial due to its boom in popularity and we haven't been back since. We could no longer access the quiet beach area where we first watched the meteor showers for the first time. In its place is a large brick building that holds lectures and classes. I'm all for progress and growth in certain places, but it seems it also comes with the loss of the ability to explore quiet, untouched and natural areas. This is my opinion, of course. It comes with my influence and experience of living surrounded by trees and nature. We may not have a Great Lake in our backyard to watch a meteor shower beside, but we have a pool and our own dark sky right above our land. We already have what we need and everything we want when we are content with what we've already been given. May that be the "thing" that goes viral in all of our hearts. 

Now may the Lord of peace himself give you peace at all times and in every way. The Lord be with all of you. 

2 Thessalonians 3:16 

What is Essential?

 A plaque in the office of minister, TV host, and author Fred Rogers read, "What is essential is invisible to the eye." It is a line from the children's book, The Little Prince, by Antoine de Saint-Exupery. The complete line reads, "It is only in the heart that one can see rightly, what is essential is invisible to the eye." 

To really dig into this concept, I looked up the word, essential. Merriam Webster's version says, "of the utmost importance, something basic, something necessary, indispensable, or unavoidable." Interesting. 

Knowing the kind of person Fred Rogers was, I would imagine his "essential" was the Lord Himself. Good choice. The only choice, in my opinion. When God is "of the utmost importance" or Someone deemed "necessary, indispensable, or unavoidable" in our lives, He becomes the Source of everything that flows from our lives. Proverbs 3:6 in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. God is essential, yet invisible to our eyes. 1 Timothy 1:17 Now to the King eternal, immortal, invisible, the only God, be honor and glory for ever and ever. Amen. If I'm putting my faith in gaining wealth, material things, fitness, or any other worldly thing, it will be short-lived. None of those things are bad things, per se, but to me they are not essential. My faith doesn't belong on them. They are important, sure, but I can live without them. Psalm 49:16-17 Do not be overawed when a man grows rich, when the splendor of his house increases; for he will take nothing with him when he dies, his splendor will not descend with him.  "You can't take it with you" is so true. What I can't live without is a personal relationship with the Lord, and His promise of eternal life in heaven. John 17:3 Now this is eternal life: that they may know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom you have sent. 

The rest of the quote from The Little Prince refers to the qualities of people that are often invisible to the human eye, but felt by the heart. Compassion, empathy, understanding, love, as well as emotional pain. Sometimes we judge with our eyes or what we've been told in our ears by someone else's judgment, and we forget how much that can hurt someone else. We may also forget how much that hurts our own hearts and how much it hurts God. Psalm 103:13-14 As a father has compassion on his children, so the LORD has compassion on those who fear him; for he knows how we are formed, he remembers that we are dust. If we remember that the Lord is here but invisible, perhaps it would be helpful to remember the feelings of others in the same way. I love the THINK acronym (True Helpful Inspiring Necessary Kind) to help me to remember this. Lord, please help me to remember that! 

We waste a lot of time buying up things we think are essential to fill voids left by people or our own sadness. We fill up our homes with things we think will make us happier. We fill up our basements with "essentials," just in case the world goes cuckoo nutso. We worry we won't have enough. We fret because there is seemingly no one good left to trust and the world feels like it's falling apart. We worry about broken things, the kids, things we can't control, jobs, illnesses, and everything in between. We find things to worry about when there's nothing to worry about. I know some of these are valid concerns, but I also believe more in how powerful and merciful our God is. Psalm 68:19 Praise be to the Lord, to God our Savior, who daily bears our burdens. It's not always easy to see evidence of a torrential downpour and believe in the coming rainbow, but that's exactly what faith enables us to do. That's exactly what God provides for us. Philippians 4:19 And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus. He won't just meet some of our needs, but all of them. Why would He do that? Because He loves us. It's that simple. Romans 5:8 But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. He died for us even while we were still messing up, meets our needs, and daily carries our burdens. Only a Father who loves every part of us would do all of these things. 

  When we trust God for our needs, we no longer have to believe that the things of this world are "essential" and God is just floating around "out there" invisible. God is tangible when we trust Him with every area our lives, not just when things are going our way. He is felt and heard when we know Him. When we trust God instead of people–especially people in high places–we can know that we've put our faith in the One who knows us best and knows what is best for us.  Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. 

People may judge us for the missteps we make in life and even in our faith journeys, but God understands us, and even my childhood TV mentor and pastor, Fred Rogers placed a plaque in his office to keep his mind on "what is essential." We have all made mistakes and poor choices in life, but it's never too late to pick a new path and it's never to late to trust the Lord with our lives. The state of the world should give us all something to think about when choosing who or what to put our faith in. People and things will fail us, but God will not. 

Our faith becomes stronger the more we place our focus on God. Peter found this out when he stepped out of the boat toward Jesus, became afraid, looked away from Him, and then began to sink. We can't take our eyes off of Him, no matter what kind of storm we seem to be walking through or what the world looks like right now. For me, every day with God is essential and I can tell when I haven't listened to or talked to Him enough. I will be keeping my eyes on Him! 

Skilled At War

 Never make the mistake of assuming 

the person of peace is 

unskilled at war. 

The Full Armor of God

Ephesians 6:10-18 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11 Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. 12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. 13 Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. 14 Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, 15 and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. 16 In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17 Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. 18 And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord's people. 

What does it mean and how do we use it? 

Belt of Truth- Satan is a liar, and he fights with lies. He is cunning and sometimes he can make a lie seem true. God's Truth defeats Satan's lies!

Breastplate of Righteousness- Protects our hearts and assures us of God's love and approval of us, defeating the attacks of Satan on our trust, emotions, and self-worth. He goes for the heart, but God is the keeper of our hearts. We must protect it. 

Feet of readiness- To motivate us to tell others of the true peace that is available when we trust the Lord, even when Satan tries to convince us that it's too hard or too big of a job and that it's a hopeless, negative task. We must stay in peace even when we feel shaky, because we know God is peace. 

Shield of Faith- This is our faith that protects our hearts from Satan's attacks with temptations, setbacks, and insults. When we see with God's perspective, we see beyond our circumstances and know we will have ultimate victory when we stay with God. 

Helmet of Salvation- Satan wants us to doubt everything-God, Jesus, and even our own salvation. But when we protect our mind from doubting the Lord, His saving promises continue to keep us focused on eternity.

Sword of the Spirit-We can always trust the Word of God. We can always trust in the truth of what it says. It is always our first defense against Satan's attacks. We simply say, "Here's what God says about that," and the devil flees. 

I know this felt a little like Sunday School or Wednesday Night Church today, but I've had to keep my armor on lately, and a good brush-up of why we need to do that is always important. The world and people are not getting any easier, and it's getting more and more difficult some days to keep our eyes on God, but that's exactly what we need to do. Stay focused, and stay geared up for the attacks that are sure to come when we claim to be on God's side. My armor is polished up and pink. We've got this! 

Blessings! 

Be Good to Yourself, Always

 I have learned recently that I have not treated myself very well. I have used a self-damaging combination of shame, blame, guilt, the perceived and spoken judgments of others, and other toxic behaviors and have worn myself down in my spiritual, physical, and mental health. I now have a personal responsibility to build myself back up in all of those areas. It is not an easy climb back up, and I'm still not there. One thing I have come away with is that not only will I stop hurting myself, I will not allow others to do it either. When I opened the book recently recommended to me and saw the words, "it's great to have at least some part of your life where you feel like a hammer instead of a nail," I knew this was a book that could speak to what I need right now. I am getting really tired of feeling beaten down and tearing myself down. I am not finding the energy for things I enjoy, and I'm just going through the motions of life. I have a fake face, facade of sorts, and a fake happy persona to get me through, but I'm not feeling or behaving in a way that reflects my genuine self. 

I share my struggle because I'm not one of those Christians that is going to feel guilty about the way I feel. Just because I know the Lord, it does not exempt me from getting a cold, a chronic illness, or a change in my mental health. God blesses us, yes. But He also allows battles to fight and there is suffering in every person because we don't live in a perfect world, regardless of being Christians or not.1 Peter 5:10 And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. God doesn't love me any less or any more because I'm struggling with areas in my life. What I've come to learn is that I have things to learn, and I have a path to walk, and I may not always understand the things I come across on that path, but God is always with me and I'm willing to go on that walk with Him. Our life doesn't have to make sense to everyone else. Sometimes it doesn't even make sense to us. Psalm 61:2 From the ends of the earth I call to you, I call as my heart grows faint; lead me to the rock that is higher than I. For you have been my refuge, a strong tower against the foe. 

We all have individual experiences, and we are certainly very different people. What works for one may not work for another, but thank God we have God, and many types of resources and helpers He provides for all kinds of personalities and people. Some of us need a gently delivered message, and some need a reality check, and what I needed was someone who could tell that I wasn't honoring myself, and the last thing I need to hear was that my pain was all my fault. I was blaming myself for everything and wondering why I felt like I didn't matter to anyone. When we are heard, we are better able to take any accountability that may be there, because we can objectively tell our story without any judgment. James 4:12 There is only one lawyer and judge, he who is able to save and destroy. But who are you to judge your neighbor?

We carry with us our own perceptions of things, others, and ourselves long before anyone says a word to us. We can only see things from the standpoint of our own biases, opinions, and experiences. That can be a problem when we see or hear something we can't relate to. We see people struggling and acting in a way that is uncomfortable for us to handle, and instead of reaching out, we give judgment. I've received that judgment. I've been labeled and left out. It's been decided who I am and why I do what I do without even a conversation with me. I can't do anything about what other people think, nor do I always need to consider it. I'm grateful for the help I receive from people who SEE ME, and understand that there is more to me than just the surface. Most of us carry a lot more than what we show on the outside. It is good to consider everyone with this thought, and know that God sees and knows us completely, regardless of what people think they know and see. Compassion and understanding go a long way when truly giving our support to others, even when we don't quite "get" what they're going through just yet. Colossians 3:12 Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. 

I've started using the practices in the book that was recommended to me called Just One Thing, by Rick Hanson. The book presents a practice in each chapter that enables me to choose a specific area I need to work on and then focus on putting the action into place. It is a very down to earth, yet profound book, I have discovered so far. As I read through the first chapter, "Be good to yourself," I discovered that each chapter has a "How" section at the end. I have realized that this has always been my question with any advice ever given me. Great advice, I always think, but....how?? Great scripture, thanks. But...how?? Right now, I really need the "how." I have found that when I have specific and practical things to do that bring a benefit, even a gradual one, I will see the outcome in that. Otherwise, I remain a bit lost, especially when I am struggling. 

Sometimes we go through what we go through, to help others go through what we went through. –Kathe Wunnenburg

One practice in the "Be good to yourself" chapter is to ask myself, "Am I on my own side here?" when feeling frustrated, hurt, mistreated, stressed, or irritated, pushed to do something, or if I know there is something I need to do and I'm not doing it. When we are not on our own sides, we don't honor our own feelings, goals, values, or rules, and we can get even more stressed and upset. Asking myself this question gives me the accountability for my own will and also helps me to set better boundaries. Looking out for my own best interests helps me to better look out for the interests of others too. I'm not looking to place blame on others, but to see where I have made concessions in order to please others or allow my boundaries to be blown up in favor of a conflict-free interaction. It reminds me of an old Journey song, "Be good to yourself when...nobody else will..." In this case, always be good to yourself. It's not selfish, self-centered, arrogant, or any of those things someone tried to tell you. God created you. Be good to who God created. Respect yourself, love yourself, and good things will come from your God-given self. 

 I have entered into cognitive therapy in an effort to truly work on this God-given self. Often times when we get to the therapy room, it's because all other efforts have felt or become futile or worn thin. For me, I just need some new tools and a new understanding of how my former coping strategies have not worked for me thus far. It's important to understand that as Christians we can love and trust God, believe the Word of God, have strong faith, and still struggle with OURSELVES. I have no shame in that, nor would I judge anyone else for it. We are all trying to heal on many levels, whether it is from a medical or a mental health issue, and no one ever shames a person for a broken leg, do they? It's okay to limp a little as we learn, but keep praying for God's help and healing! I pray that if anyone reading this is struggling with their mental health that they do not feel alone! Deuteronomy 31:8 The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. It's okay to reach out for help at any time. 

One thing this book teaches is that when the brain stays in a negative state for too long, the neurons begin to change. So "as we think, we become", is the pattern this book is based upon. This got me motivated, because I really don't want my thoughts to continue to poison the actual neuroplasticity of my brain. Is this how older people become crochety? Yes! We are to renew our minds daily. Whatever it takes to get me back on a positive track is how I will turn this brain train around. Romans 12:2 Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. 

May God bless you, whatever journey you are on.