Heart Control

I find it interesting how many times I've been in a group, and something someone is going through is exactly what I've just struggled through myself. I also find it interesting how many times we keep situations to ourselves, thinking, "I really shouldn't share this...maybe I did something wrong..." What a lie that has turned out to be EVERY time. It's a lie that keeps us blaming ourselves, stewing in the problem, and not being able to help someone else. It's a waste of time, and it's not of God.

The truth is, when someone hurts us, we are shocked. We are stunned momentarily. I know for us it was a matter of, "wow. You thought so terribly of us right off the bat? You didn't even ask us to clarify what was said before you fired off your many attacks? You really wanted to believe the worst? You really wanted to think we would be so insensitive and unfair? Wow. You must really be screwed up. You must not respect us at all.You didn't use any of your past knowledge of us to make a determination on the 5 minute conversation that was had. You reacted out of pure foolishness and emotion and basically shot off your own feet. And sadly, if you really believe that,then you don't know us at all. Wow."

This is why the Bible warns us so many times not to keep company with corrupt people. Not to spend time with fools. Eventually, they will use you as a target because they are miserable, unhappy, and living entirely in the flesh. And somehow, it's everyone else's fault. Particularly yours if you get too close. Wow. It's been a couple of months, but the shock is still fresh. No pain, no loss. Just a bit of shock. We realized quickly that to feel loss, you would have had to have actually had something real and of value. We saw immediately that apparently we didn't all along. Sad to be disappointed with the truth this way, but Steve and I understand. We knew there was nothing we were going to be able to say or do to help. We tried. Sometimes people just want to be hurt and angry. Not helped or changed. Sometimes the wall is so thick that no person can get in.

Well, as much as I'd like people like that to know the peace that I have, I am not willing to be used as a target so it can happen for them. I will pray for that couple, but we will not get that close to the fire again. I will pray for the light to come on so that one day, they can find peace and begin to reflect light the way they were created to do. Because truly, we don't want anything bad for this particular couple. We want them to be happy and at peace. Just not at our expense.

See, this is where God comes in. He knows the situation and can see exactly where it's headed. I do believe that although these people do not follow him, He is still there, waiting for them to turn to Him. He may be making life a bit uncomfortable for them right now so that He can shine a bit brighter and they will begin to see His face. He may be taking things and people away so that they have to depend on God and God alone. Who knows? He works for the good of those who love Him, we're told in the Bible, and it's all for His purpose.

We are ALL created in His image and for His purpose. Even the mean, the miserable, and the fools. We are all given a future, a hope, and endless amounts of love. It's all there. We just have to either accept it, or continue to thank Him for it and use it all for His glory.

And to the person who just tried to obliterate you, whether by a mean email, as mine came, or a mean text, glance, or gossip....please concentrate on those who DO love you and add to your life. Let those who don't honor you not have so much power over your life. And know that if you have a good friend, you will never be alone. If you have God as your friend, you really are never alone. Never! And remember, he will pay back trouble to those who trouble you! (2 Thessalonians 1:6)

Be blessed...you know Whose you are! Keep your heart full of Him, not your hurts.

Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry. For man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires. James 1:19,20 (NIV)

AWESOME

I use my time in my car to pray, particularly after dropping my girls off at school for the day. One day last week we had an especially beautiful sky. For some reason, I looked up at that sky (yes, while driving) and said, "God, you made the sky, and thank you for that. It gives me hope, that the place where storms threaten is the same place that rainbows appear. That's pretty cool, the way you blend those two together, much like our lives down here. Full of storms, but full of rainbows. That is just so AWESOME!" And then I said out loud to myself, "Wow. That came out of nowhere. I need to blog that!" Yes, I sometimes converse with myself. And you don't? Oh please! :)

I am a chronic skywatcher, and I like to think that God speaks to us in nature more than anywhere else. Yesterday while working outside with my family, I looked up and went completely speechless. Flying just low enough for us to get a close look, was an eagle! I am such a nerd about these things and blurted out, "OOH! It's an eagle. It's so, so, regal!" The girls just laughed at me and said, "regal? really, mom?"
Yes, regal. And so was the young eagle it was training. I was amazed and completely mesmerized by the sight, as I often am in nature. An eagle is a rare sight here, though neighbor Bill talks about seeing them all the time. And each time he sees them he is marveled by the sight. Neighbor Bill is amazed by God too!

And on those cool mornings where the sky is a brilliant pink for just a little while, and the birch trees stand out against it....breathless. The days I see Mama Doe and her kiddos....precious. The wind whistling through the white pines, and the sounds of birds singing at the first sign of dusk. Those are beautiful things, and they are all because of God. His idea. His creation with His hands. AWESOME. Are there any other adequate words to describe that?

Probably not, but I am grateful for the many ways God uses nature to take my breath away. For the times nature comforts me in ways people never could. For making this world with all its ills a very beautiful place to spend our time. For soothing a bad day with a sunset, and for the laughter only chipmunks can produce. For all the grains of sand in the ocean and for the stars in the sky. Grateful and amazed. Entertained by and loved through nature each and every moment of our lives! He did it for me and He did it for you just because he loves us!

Thank you, God for your AWESOME creation. I can only imagine just how beautiful Heaven will be....

The World of Worry

I don't think I worried about much at all before I became a parent. I was happy to be married and living with my beloved. I was carefree, going to work and coming home each day, worrying only about hitting a deer on the way home. Together we didn't worry too much about our bills, in fact, we didn't even have a credit card for the first few years of our marriage! Unheard of now, I would guess. We had a nice home with plans to fill it with children, plenty of time to do whatever we wanted to do, and a healthy family around us. Our biggest "worry" was what we were going to do that weekend!

How things would change over just a few years! When we decided to plan our family, the worries started. We couldn't conceive for a long time. We decided to do all kinds of rebellious things, like get a dog, get braces for me, and maybe get a jeep and have fun with that. We even toyed with the idea of white carpeting! No kids, no mess. OOps....forgot about that dog we got..

So with our wait for children, we worried. Then she blessed us, and we worried. She arrived. We worried. And worried. And worried. Every fever, every rash, every cry, every everything. Worry worry worry. And it wasn't much fun at all! The worrying, I mean, of course.

Child number two came and brought us new worries. Would we be good parents to two now? Could we give them enough? And on and on the worries came. If only I knew then what I know now....can't we all say that?

My worries are so much more based in reality now. Our parents are getting older, our dog has passed. Our kids are growing up. Can we do this? Are we messing it all up? Will we look back at these days and tell our young selves we were being silly just like before?

I have many well-meaning and wise friends tell me not to worry about anything but to pray about everything. Philippians 4:6,7, I believe, said it first. As I get older, and life gets harder, it is harder to worry. Yes, I just said that! I'm not saying I don't worry. I'm saying I know better now. I do better now. Worrying says I have little trust in the God who is taking care of it all. If I look back at the past, worrying didn't serve me or anyone else well. If I use what I know, then I should know not to worry. Right?

As with anything, it's easier said than done. It's not so much that I worry about what God is doing. It's more that I worry that I won't accept it as quickly as I should. I guess that's a normal human response. I sometimes equate a no worry attitude with a lack of concern. I suppose it takes a delicate balance, and I trust God is going to help me through that. After all, if I trust Him, then what do I have to worry about?