Winter of Challenge

It's another deep freeze day here and school was cancelled once again. The last basketball game was cancelled because the other school was cancelled yesterday. After the game on Wednesday, we drove an hour there and back in snowy, drifty weather. It has been a winter of challenges in so many ways to do many people. The cost to heat our home at 64 degrees has been the highest in our 8 years here. And yet they continue to raise gas and propane prices.  When is compassion and mercy stronger than the almighty dollar? If we're struggling with a good income, what is happening to those who are less fortunate? It is scary to think. We are all hard-pressed in our own ways right now. But my word this month has been my Serena's middle name-Hope! Hold On, Pain Ends! God is faithful to us every day and our struggles are proof that we are always working to do the right things and not give up! I keep reiterating this to my sister who is recently separated and starting life and her business over once again. We are helping her to focus on her daily blessings and to show her that positive can come from negative if we are hopeful and faithful! So, snow and ice, move on over, because we know you will soon end. But we will prevail and rejoice in the sun!! 

Hope!

What a nice treat to see 10 robins visiting my Crabtree today!! Spring is either coming or the birds have gone crazy. It's still pretty cold here. 

Hold on, spring (hope) is on the way! 

Sigh

I've been on a healthy eating plan since the 6th of January, and although I know I'm doing a good thing for myself, I remain frustrated. Not only have I merely lost 6 pounds in that time, I don't feel any better.  

This has been the story of my life and I'm tired of it. I was a sickly kid, underweight, always missing school, one infection after another. My teenage years included allergies and migraines, which have hung around. I am tired all the time. I want to be active and energetic, but if I try to remember a time I was like that, the memories are short, vague, and sprinkled with sickness. Maybe I was 5 or 6 I don't even know. I start the day feeling okay, even after a not so good night of sort of sleep, but my battery dies quickly after lunch. I find myself wearing out faster as I get older, and it scares me to think that one day I will just curl up in a rocking chair! I don't envision this life for myself. I want to know what "normal" people feel like. People who can run and play and not feel sick afterwards. People who make plans and get to keep them. I cancel a lot. People who can remain positive. I struggle with this, as my physical and mental states are at war. 

I want to be one of those people who works out at 6am or takes a class in the evening. I just don't feel well. And it's been my entire life. 

I'm just venting today, really. I know there are those worse off than me. Truthfully, I might understand them a bit too well sometimes.  I keep going, but sometimes I wonder if I never feel any better, will I one day just give up? I hope not.