Thoughts This Morning

 I haven't been very present here, and I know that my writing hasn't reached like I had hoped it would (with the exception of my brief, but impressive following in Singapore-thank you). I started writing a long time ago because my many thoughts needed a place to go. I know I can wear people out with my words sometimes. I wore my husband out just last night.  I sometimes have a lot to say. I spent years being too quiet, afraid to speak not my mind—but my heart. My mind can still get out of order sometimes, but my heart will always be a soft place, and when I write, the truth of me comes out. When someone allows me time to speak and they genuinely listen, I give my heart, and I discover things I didn't know. When I find someone who mindfully speaks, I want to be a good listener and contributor as well. Ephesians 4:29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. 

Even as I sat down to write today, I had a whole list of other topics I thought I was going to touch on, and maybe I will eventually get to those! But today's stream-of-consciousness is kind of who I've been in my head lately, and I will invite you in as usual. As I continue to enter the Autumn phase of my life, sleep is something that has been escaping me, but guess what doesn't? My brain. I awaken full of jabberings, song lyrics, quotes, and verses, and I go all "absent-minded professor." It goes along with my morning hair and scatterings of half-used notebooks throughout the house! It's not really my "normal" personality, but then I could argue, neither have the last few years!  

Yesterday I used the voice recorder on my phone to record some notes about things I may want to write about. I could hear myself getting Angel a treat, making my coffee, and doing my normal morning things. I laughed as I said, "Oh shoot, I forgot to feed the birds." As I looked up at the sky that morning, I saw two planes flying in opposite directions, leaving their contrails behind. I laughed and said into my voice recorder, "You can either believe in conspiracy theories or you can put your belief in the Lord and His Truth." The only "conspiracy theory" in which I may believe is that my refrigerator light might still be on when I close the door. Just kidding...yeah, we all should know by now where I stand on such "theories." 

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6 

"You can sit around and think about everybody who you think has done you wrong, and all the revenge you're going to take, or you can use that energy to forgive them all, find a new hobby and enjoy your life, and bless the ones who curse you." It sounds kind of simple, right? As I heard myself pouring the water into the coffee maker, this is exactly what I said. It's not that original. God tells us not to take revenge. Deuteronomy 32:35 It is mine to avenge; I will repay. In due time their foot will slip; their day of disaster is near and their doom rushes upon them." Friends, I am not touching any type of payback with anyone with a ten-foot pole! God is on it for us, don't worry. I may not have anything to do with someone who did me wrong, but I will not be toilet-papering their house anytime soon. That's just not how I roll. (if you don't get that pun, I cannot help you) 

But what about that forgiveness part, right? This is not going to be a long post about forgiveness. Been there, done that. Today's simple message is this: If God can forgive me, who am I to withhold forgiveness? Do they deserve it? I don't know, did I? No. But will it bring peace to me if I let this horrible aching bond of anger, bitterness, and never-ending plague of ick-collection go? In a word, yep. But what about?—nope. But they!—nope. Love keeps no record.(1 Corinthians 13:1) And if we keep no record, we instead choose love for God, ourselves, and others, and we can be in PEACE. All I know is that when I am at peace and not angry and bitter, others want to be in my presence. In the words of my mentor and friend Norm Sawyer, the forgiveness statement is simply, "I forgive you. Completely." Say it over and over until it seeps like the warmest healing liquid into your heart. Part of blessing your enemies is forgiving them. You will receive the blessing of a clean and peaceful heart. Romans 12:14 Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them. 

"You can be sunshine or you can be a cloud. You can be a beacon of light in the darkness, or you can be the darkness. What you post on social media can be light or it can be dark. Which one do you want to be known for? Which one would God have you be? This was recording number 5. It is really easy to hit "Post" or "Send" in the heat of the moment. I've done it, sadly. I've said some really careless words in the past, and I've been convicted of that, and I pray that God keeps me in line now. I don't want my words or my actions to offend or bother people, but to build up and encourage the people around me.  You can't take certain things back after they are done and said. The impression it leaves on others is sometimes all they have left of you. They often won't come back to see if you are changed. I don't want to blow my chance of showing the light in me. I don't want my bad day or my emotional state to cause me to react or respond in a way that affects anyone else negatively. 2020 taught me so many things, but what I choose to take from it is that I will go on in this world as a person who nurtures and protects people more than projects, politics, and positions. I will always choose love and compassion over the need to be RIGHT. I will choose peace, and I will choose righteousness. Not my own, but God's. (Thank you, Norm Sawyer)  Matthew 5:14-16 You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven. 

Now more than ever, we need to be a light in this world. There is enough darkness and negativity in the world! We know there are evil, horrifying things and people "out there!" I don't know about any of you, but when you are standing in a dark room, waiting for your eyes to adjust, what do you finally set your eyes on to see your way around the room? The light, however small it may appear! You aren't looking in the dark for the dark to lead you. I don't look to negative people spreading more negative propaganda or more garbage to help me feel better about the sad state of things. I am looking for the ones who are spreading the truth of the One I follow for PEACE. Who is going to get me out of this mess? Who is going to help me find my way out of this dark world? Who is going to help me when I feel like everything is crumbling and scary? Not that negative nelly. It's God, the Savior, the Light.  John 16:33 "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."  God is the solution. Not the politician, not the law you want passed, not whatever it is that is stealing your peace. He has overcome all of it for our sakes. I am keeping my eyes on God and I won't be distracted by all the things being waved in my face to try to shade my light or His. Know Who God is for yourself and it will be a weapon against those who try to darken your light. Psalm 100:3 Know that the Lord is God; It is he who made us, and we are his; we are his people; the sheep of his pasture. We are His people, and people will seek us out in times of trouble. If we are so busy with our stances and fights, when will we have time for the people who need our tenderness? 

I find my last recording quite humorous. "If people don't wanna hear your advice, stop talkin'." I believe the equivalent to this is the famous author, Norm Sawyer's advice to me as a mother, "Zip it." Yes, unsolicited advice is generally not cool. I think back to all of the unwanted comments and advice I've given and probably still inadvertently give, and I cringe!! Yikes. You know, silence is the best advice sometimes. No one can blame you if it goes wrong. Words have gotten me into trouble, as they often will. Proverbs 10:19 Sin is not ended by multiplying words, but the prudent hold their tongues. In short, I know I need to zip it. Stop talkin.' Shush my face. Let people come and ask if they need my help, opinion or my advice. Those egos just need to say everything they think, don't they? Sure, we may have wisdom and insight on some things, and I can see around corners others may not, but it's our pride and arrogance that gets us into trouble when even well-meaning words are spoken at the wrong time or to the wrong person. I need to bite the tongue and lead with grace or it's gonna get messy. With God holding my impatient tongue and extending His grace, life can be so much more rewarding, and my life can be full of love. When it's time to share the wisdom I've been given, it will be received in love, because I waited for the right time, and not when I thought it was time or felt good to me. We humans get ourselves in so much trouble with our big mouths. Proverbs 16:24 Gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul, and health to the bones. Can you imagine our words being health to someone's bones? They really are, because when our words are tender, people will come to us when they are hurting and know they will leave refreshed and comforted. 

Be blessed today, and may your own words to yourself be healing and light. Listen to your heart. It's where God speaks. 

Feeling Like Fall

 I feel like the season of Fall, in a way. I have been quietly waiting my turn to emerge, while the heat of summer rages on. I have so much to say and nothing to say just yet. I am shifting inside, while on the outside showing only subtle signs of change. As a saying goes, "All the trees are losing their leaves, and not one of them is worried." Oh, to feel a freedom like that. Suddenly, I think that's the word I feel. A little worried and a little trapped. A September birth was very fitting for the personality I would become. Some people call it a "Virgo" trait. I'm not really into that, though I do fit some of those deeply analytical traits, much to the chagrin of those who know me best. My tightly held leaves are falling, and I don't like change very much. I know better than to worry or to feel trapped. Philippians 4:6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 

Suddenly, everything is changing at once, and they're not just those involuntary ones that are going on because I'm no longer of child-bearing age. We have Eve to thank for those fires of hell going in our bodies. Many things have changed in my life over the course of just 10 short years. Being of this annoying analytical type, I do tend to think deeply about where I've been, what has happened, where I'm going, but also who is around me. More importantly, who is still around me. When I think about my circle, it has gone from a cacophony to a whisper, just like the sneaky passage from summer to fall. And just as the seasons shift without so much as a sigh and we all accept this, I've learned that this too, is just part of life. I have to give these feelings over to God several times a day, and pray for peace, as sometimes unplanned chaos shakes me, and I feel like worry is winning.  Romans 8:37 No, in all these things, we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.

Seasons of change always remind me of all the people who used to be in my life, and it's like watching the leaves gently drift from my maple trees one at a time. One day the tree was a beautifully colored, leafy display to be admired, but I blinked, and the tree was nearly bare. Just a few bright leaves clung precariously to the highest branches. At every age, I think I've learned it never gets easier to accept that people are going to reject us, leave us, or dislike us, and there is nothing we can do about it. Whatever the reason, and we may never even know, there will be people who will judge us who may never get close to our hearts and know who we are.  Truth be told, we all like to be comfortable, and that includes being around people who make us feel good about what we know, believe, trust, and feel. We are all human in that way. I think as the world gets tougher "out there," it's getting even more common or simple to want to find people who reflect back what is easier for us to accept or believe rather than challenge us to think something that opposes it. We just don't want to be challenged very much anymore. Life is just too hard. I'm not saying I feel this myself, it's just something I'm observing, but maybe I'm buying into it subconsciously too, I don't know. It might require some deeper thought. 

What's tough is finding out that people who once made you "comfortable" or people you thought "had your back" or even loved you or were in your life for a long time, are the ones who one day shoot porcupine quills at your heart. The ones you thought knew you and your heart, made a conscious choice to leave you, right? It's shocking, but becoming more and more prevalent these days. Yeah, It happens to everyone, and that's why we need to know the character of God, and have a personal relationship with his Son. Just like when we inevitably lose people we love to death, the comfort of the Lord is what gives us hope and strength to carry on. Deuteronomy 31:6 Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you or forsake you. 

So now we can rejoice in our wonderful new relationship with God because our Lord Jesus Christ has made us friends of God. Romans 5:11

To me, a friend is one you can trust to make you comfortable AND also make you uncomfortable with hard situations and the truth, all because you stand securely in the knowledge that you are loved and accepted by that friend. You can love someone and disagree passionately and still have a great relationship with them. It's not an oxymoron! I will sound like a broken record at times, but if a relationship can't handle the real person we are inside, then maybe we haven't been our real selves— tip-toeing around the other person being a people-pleaser—or they just don't respect us, or vice versa. In short, it's not healthy, real, or true. So if we find friends who love us—truly love us—then we don't need to be constantly worried that they'll "discover" the truth one day that we are really giant ogres and leave us!  Ask God and trust God for those people, and He will put you in positions to find them. In the meantime, we can ask Him to give us maturity, wisdom, strength and courage to be the person of good character He made us to be, so that we are ready to recognize and nurture those friendships He gifts us! 

A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. Proverbs 18:24 

 I have been very busy with the harvesting of all that is left in my garden and things going on in my life, and trying to keep it all up. The large fields around our property are aglow with the many beautiful colors of approaching fall. Football season has started, there are good things on the horizon in my family, and I have so much to be grateful for. God has been my steady and dearest Friend my entire life. He reminds us all to look to Him for all of our needs, including constant companionship and provision through every season of our lives. In seasons of great change, chaos, and uncertainty, it is the Lord we can count on for stability and peace.  Numbers 6:26 the Lord turn his face toward you and give you peace. Thank you Lord, for my blessings, and thank you for your promise of peace. 

We are not to depend on the fickleness of people, no matter how much we may love or like them, or think they can fill all of our needs.  People may leave us—some do—but God never will. Does that mean it won't hurt when you look around and your wide circle has become small? I will say from experience that it is wise to keep your circle whatever size it needs to be in order for it to be healthy, real, honest, and secure with the values in your life that are important to you. Seek out friendships that are honoring to God and to you and your other relationships, and let those go that become unhealthy or compromise you in any way.  Love one another, yes. But to invite unhealthy relationships into your life for the sake of "loving one another," or "being a good Christian," no. You'll hear me say that ad nauseum. I think it is wise also that if someone is crazy enough to leave you, let them. It makes room and time for the someone who will value what you have to give!! I am on your side today, friend! 

The righteous choose their friends carefully, but the way of the wicked leads them astray. Proverbs 12:26 

Don't look too long at who left, but take care of the ones who stay, and be a  committed friend to the ones who take care of your heart. When I typed that sentence, certain people came to mind, and you will know who your friends are when you read it as well. It doesn't matter if you have 1, 3, or 33, as long as they are real. (Keep shaking the tree. The ones at the top are always the best.)  Seriously though, may God bless you with a harvest of colorful, real and true friends and family who love you as deeply and truly as your heart loves.  

Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you or forsake you. Deuteronomy 31:6 

 

Living Blessed

 A complaining tongue reveals an ungrateful heart. 

William Arthur Ward

I don't know where you're at in the world, but in my little corner, it's not supposed to be this hot. That's why I live here. Every day, I check the weather app on my phone, expecting it to tell me what it's going to do outside, and it's been wrong nearly every day for months. Now, there's a job I'm going to apply for–update the weather app incorrectly and get paid, without even leaving home.  I know, I know, weather patterns, wind, fronts, clippers, and all that stuff. I do want to give a shout out to a great weather analyst and storm chaser I follow on YouTube, Ryan Hall, Y'all.  www.youtube.com/@RyanHallYall He not only accurately covers storms, but also runs a nonprofit that provides aid to those affected by them. 

Our pool (a lovely shade of green at the moment)has sat unused for most of the summer, as it has been frequently raining or storming, which is also why the furniture never gets uncovered, and mushrooms are growing under the deck table on the rug! This humidity is something else. On the positive side, the garden is producing the best it has ever produced, the hydrangeas are doing well, and it looks lush and green here. The grass, trees, ferns, and surrounding plants have all been thriving in the humidity and rain, and abundant sun and heat. We are grateful that we haven't been in the line of flooding, tornadoes, wildfires, oppressive heat, and other catastrophic events that others have faced around us in this world. And need I say, I am grateful to have a pool, a deck, and furniture, a home, etc... and the ability to speak, even though I don't always like what comes out of my mouth.

A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones. Proverbs 17:22

I catch myself complaining a lot these days, and it bugs me when I get in that kind of a cycle. I was thinking to myself, boy, you better stay away from your blog when you're like that. You don't want to infect others with your negative thinking. That is true, but the other side of it, is that I needed to be aware of how my thinking was affecting myself too. My spirit was "drying up my bones." Self-awareness is a gift you give others and yourself.  I needed to get after myself, and that's something I need to do sometimes. I have to take a look in the mirror and say, "Hey, knock it off, you big baby." That's a start. From there, I tell myself how much I have to be grateful for, and to get myself back on track. Now you can tell yourself whatever works for you. We're all going through different things and some are way more difficult than others. I know when I'm just being a baby and when things really are too much to bear on my own. I was just being a baby this time. I didn't need grace. I needed a kick in the pants. 

...on the other hand, discipline yourself for the purpose of godliness." 1 Tim. 4:7

It doesn't take much to get our spirits all out of whack, thinking about ourselves in a "poor me" state of mind. The truth is, there might be some things wrong with us. There might be some bad things going on in our lives. I can only speak for myself here, but I have to watch not letting those things creep in and overtake my whole being. My thoughts can easily convince me to make a mountain out of three small hills. One complaint can easily become a rant. Two complaints and it's the worst day ever. Three? Oh, forget it! I'm packing a bag. What on earth gets into me sometimes? Yeah, I get the world into me. That's the problem. I get too focused on the world or myself and not focused on God, and forget anyone else, and that's enough to get anyone all out of whack. Look around us and it's easy to see why there's so much discontentment in the world. 

I'm sharing this problem, because it creeps in very sneakily and takes me by surprise sometimes. I injured my back last weekend, and I've been struggling with it ever since. I can't get comfortable sitting, sleeping, walking– it's a whole monstrous thing. I don't even know how it happened, and I'm so frustrated about it, because it's stopping me from doing what I want and need to do. Don't I already have enough stopping me? Sheesh! How much is one person supposed to take? And that's just one thorn in my side. There have been other little thorns piling up on the branch until I just couldn't take it anymore. My mind just went to all kinds of self-focused things. Why me? (cry me a river, right?) Oh, I know. You can't stand that! Trust me, neither can I! I couldn't stand me either! I couldn't find a far enough place to run from my own little pity party. How do you get away from yourself? God knows, because when I finally asked Him for a way out, He took me out behind the wood shed, so to speak. 

I started by going outside. I spent an afternoon reading in the back yard, and another going for a long ride in the golf cart and just taking in my surroundings. I observed the woods around me. I appreciated where I live, I valued the abilities I have. I drove past my garden, flourishing and providing. I looked way up into the trees and I felt the comfort of the shade. I listened to the birds, stopped and listened to silence. I thanked God for where I was at that moment in time, and for everything He has provided for my pleasure, and for how He has sustained me for everything I have been through, everything I was going through and would go through. I began to reset myself. Blessed. Blessed. Blessed. Not cursed by what is happening. Not cursed because it's piling up. Not cursed just because it's hard and you're struggling and you're tired and you can't see the end. Blessed because I've been given strength to get through it all. Blessed. Come on, now. Get with it. Blessed. I heard a voice in my head over and over as well. "Stop it, Miss Jami." I smiled, because I knew who that was. Just say thank you. Yes, thank you. 

Not that I was ever in need, for I have learned how to be content with whatever I have. I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little. For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength. Philippians 4:11-13 

I know we all have tendencies to get down and out and negative sometimes, and as the world gets tougher around us, and people get more demanding or our bodies give out on us, it will get harder to stand strong on our own. We need God's strength, guidance, wisdom, and help to guide us through it all. I see what happens when I rely on my own strength, or get selfish in my own needs and wants. I'm just not it, friends! God's Spirit puts the passion in me, and the will to keep moving. Operating with God reminds me that I'm not the only one going through life, and to be mindful that being grateful is one way to really be at peace. It reminds me that if we are all walking around full of ourselves, we have no room for anyone else! I am living blessed every day, no matter what comes my way. If you catch me living any other way, just tell me to "Stop it!" 

Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus. 

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18