Family Matters

 Be who you are and say what you feel, 

because those who mind don't matter 

and those who matter don't mind. 

–Dr. Seuss

I'm back! At least for now. We were so thankful for our oldest daughter's wedding and all of the family that came and shared their love and support with them (it was a "family only" wedding, so not too large). We became one big family with our daughter's in-laws and our new son-in-law, who we already loved, appreciated, and adopted as our "son" long before the wedding day. We are grateful that our daughter entered into a family that truly loves and appreciates her as the special person she is. It's all we ever prayed for when asking God to bless her with the right husband and family to support her one day. They are a very sweet couple! Serena loves her new "brother" and has embraced him into our family as well. This is what we hoped for. Angel still barks at him when he walks through the door, but he still loves (and tolerates) her anyway. Jesse's parents and brother spent Thanksgiving with us last year, and we are looking forward to more family gatherings with them! Their very large family has embraced Natalie as one of their own, as ours has Jesse! 

My sister has been through some pretty serious medical issues, as has my brother, who nearly left us on mother's day this year, leaving them both with some physical limitations. We have learned through loss and serious illness not to take each other for granted. Not only were both of them present, but my sister showed up to decorate, fixed some dress issues Natalie was having, and came to help clean up the day after the wedding. We are a small family with compromised health and very limited resources (a lot of widows and very few men), but one thing I have learned is that when someone needs something, we manage to pull it together for each other. My aunt was also recently hospitalized, but was also there helping to decorate. She is the "Lucy" to my mom's "Ethel" and they always laugh non-stop when they get together. My cousin showed up to help decorate, and took pictures all throughout the wedding and reception, and I'm so glad she did, because I was so stretched from running all around that I didn't have time to take any! I know someone was praying for me, as my usual chronic condition was giving me a break, enabling me to do all I needed to do for the wedding preparations. Praise God. 

I say all of this because all that the newlyweds noticed is that everything was exactly as they imagined it. They were surrounded by people who loved them and they could finally relax and enjoy this anticipated day. 

I opened with the quote above because in my family, we've been through some "stuff". We've all said things to each other that weren't so cool. We've done things, been through things, said stuff, did stuff, you get the idea... But even through all of the muck and mire, it has never stopped us from holding each other up and showing up for each other. We may not always function properly, but when it comes to love, we know how to show it and be there for each other and for that I am grateful. In the end, we matter to each other. When someone matters to you, you want to show up for them in the best way you can. 

Family can be a complicated thing, can't it? You have so much and so little in common. You can offer so much, but you can either withhold or overload. It's a plethora of wisdom, knowledge, help, companionship, yet so many within seem to sit without. It's a strange dichotomy of love and avoidance. The people who matter don't mind, but the people who mind don't matter. 

Many of you reading this have not felt like you've been accepted into a family or been understood by people the way you want or need to be. It's true that some people just get overlooked for no good reason. I have found the reason sometimes is that we need to seek the Lord for His security and not try to go looking for it in people, no matter who those people may be. If it's your own family, your spouse's family, your friendships, your coworkers, I know, I get it....sometimes you just feel like you're the square peg everywhere. I assure you, you are not. 

I've spent too long trying to fit my square into the roundness of others, and believe me, it's a losing battle! Instead, I have to go to God and say, "Work this out in me, because I can't go on like this. I can't define it, I can't live it, I can't put it into words, and I don't want to be it anymore. I'm tired of it." So let God have it, and ask God to protect you from the snares that it leads to, because when we look for approval and love or acceptance from others, we will also find our rejection and our wounds there. 

We all take each other for granted. Maybe in different ways, maybe we're all to blame. But to appreciate, one person has to go toward and the other has to respond. And if not, may we learn how to forgive and move on. 

It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in humans. 

Psalm 118:8 

If You're Reading This...

 If you're reading this....

This will be my last post, at least for awhile. I will still be writing, but not for weekly posting. I am burned out. I notice as I sit and write, I am surrounded by my untouched craft supplies, and my shelves and shelves of unread books. Books that I have been longing to curl up in a corner with and lose myself in. I miss creating in my glue books, scrapbooks, and collage art books. I have spent the last 7 months planning a wedding, and fighting the illness in my body that thrives off stress. Writing has not been the release nor the balm it used to be. It became a job and part of the stress, once I made it something I "had to do" and put pressure on myself to change the way I was doing it. Lately, I have sensed that what drew me to writing is something that I have missed and need to revisit. 

In the very beginning, I treated this blog like a daily journal, sharing my family moments and my own revelations as I grew and learned about things and people around me. As the world has changed, I have felt more of a responsibility to bring something of more substance and less "fluff" and family, but to be honest, when I want to feel better about this world, I need to share my fluff–which to me is what keeps my joy alive. I don't know that I have been that source anymore. I've become more aware and I've grown more spiritually. Maybe I just need to find a better balance of the two. This time will help me figure that out. 

I ordered three new books yesterday. Mind you, I have piles of books to get through! But after this wedding, I have plans to enjoy the silence in my mind and allow others to speak to me gently with their created words. I'm tired of my own. One of the books I ordered is True Faced: Trust God and Others with Who You Really Are, By Bruce McNicol, John S. Lynch, and Bill Thrall and another is by Lysa Terkeurst called Good Boundaries and Goodbyes: Loving Others Without Losing the Best of Who You Are. I'm sensing a theme...At my age, I know who I am. I'm just not sure if I've always been willing to share it. Experience tells me that being true to myself means losing others. Being true to others means losing myself. All of that tells me that I need to find my tribe. I'm not the only one who has said that to me.

I also enjoy good fiction and autobiographies, and I have a few of those "queued up" as well. Both Natalie and Serena have given me good suggestions, and our last enjoyable book  browse together in a Chronicles of Narnia themed bookshop had me thinking of even more titles to ponder. They still haven't reached out about my request to carry our book, so maybe they're just not interested. The state of mind I've been in says to just breathe and let it be. I'm tired of carrying so many things. 

We have some very ill family members, which requires us to dig deeper into our faith. When doing so, I find I need to feed my soul with things that help me relax and are less likely to add more stress to my life. I've taken more nature rides/walks, for one, and turned my phone off when I need some quiet time. The wedding is right around the corner and I've spent the last week sick. What that tells me is I have more to do in the way of relaxation in my mind and spirit. Because of those ill family members, we also have more physical things we need to be doing for them. Life is just a lot of things at once sometimes. Nothing takes its turn. Nothing is going to slow down for me, so I need to be the one to slow down.

A prayer card on my desk reminds me, The Lord is near to all who call on Him. Psalm 145:18 I'm calling non-stop, even if it doesn't seem like I'm getting an answer. Most days it feels like God's line is busy. I'm sure it's my fault, but I'm learning to give myself grace, believe it or not. 

If writing and sharing here becomes my happy place again, I will return. If you're reading this, thank you. 

That Viral Thing

"Cool things happen all day long and nobody knows about them." -Jami 

 

I said the above just the other day, when tiring of the word, "viral" being seen and over on my YouTube feed. From "run out and get this NOW" products to slogging some new goop either down my throat or on my face for "instant results"! Why do people get so caught up on collecting and running after "viral" things on social media platforms? Why is someone always trying to make things "go viral"?  (Easy answer: clicks = cash) Am I going to miss out if I don't buy the latest xxx that everyone is wearing/using? (short answer: NO) Maybe it's the loner or possibly the obliviousness in me, but I like what I like, and I don't really give much thought to what others are wearing and doing. After partially watching a video where a content creator was furiously shopping all over looking for a certain item that all of the TikTokers were showing, I shut it off, and I said out loud, "Cool things happen all day long and you're missing out on them!" Is it just the thrill of the hunt? Why collect a bunch of stuff just for the sake of collecting what other people TELL you is the hot thing you must have because everyone has it? Maybe this is a sign that I'm just too old, I don't know, but I think it's a sign that some of us need to find better things to chase. There are some of us who can easily turn away from the influence of others, but some people are easily influenced by people, products, and lots of other things. We do need to be mindful of who and what we are following. It's easy to get caught up in a smooth-tongued YouTuber who seems to "have it all," but things aren't always what they seem, and it's really important to know that! Proverbs 11:28 Those who trust in their riches will fall, but the righteous will thrive like a green leaf.

What are you willing to let your heart and mind go "viral" for? Which influencer are you following in order to have your needs fulfilled? And why is God the only One? Matthew 6:33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 

I thought about it even more as I took my daily pickle picking walk out to the garden with my sweet 4-legged best friend. She teaches me to stop and sniff a little longer, if you will. I followed the latest robin who's been feeding its young somewhere close by. I finally discovered the nest high up in the maple tree near the barn. While checking the pear tree out in the orchard, I discovered a tiny bird's nest. After the first of our blueberry crop was savagely devoured by some unknown four legged or winged bandits, I was able to snatch a few ripe berries to hide away for later. We have rogue potatoes and onions growing in the compost pile, and the other day I happened upon a tiny fawn who just caught me staring at it, and studied Angel and I ever so cautiously. To me, these are very cool things to find. These are the things worthy of reporting and telling people to go out and grab! They're in your backyard, your neighborhood, and even in the cities. These are the things that won't leave you or your wallets empty after you've had your fill of them. Nature is God-created, free, and ours for the taking if we want to stop and take it in. Job 12:10 In his hand is the life of every creature and the breath of all mankind.

As much as some may chase the "things" of the world in order to be as "happy" as the person online appears to be once they find the coveted item, we know deep down that things won't truly satisfy a person. When everyone wants the same coveted item, it suddenly becomes hard to find and more desired. I came across a dollar store channel on YouTube that is still trying to find some viral product, and has been all over the country looking for it and still can't find it. Friends, it's a sanitizer. A hand sanitizer. That's all it is and that's all it does. Apparently it looks like a copy of an expensive brand name one, so it is highly sought after.  Suddenly it has gained importance because it can't be found. Now that everyone wants it, people are saying that the clerks are "hiding it" behind the counter when it comes in, and customers are "buying whole boxes" in order to sell it at a higher price online. Did I mention that it's just a hand sanitizer at a dollar store? Next week I'll probably hear about how terrible sanitizer is and how everyone should ban it. (Social media is a wild place)The focus becomes getting the hot item and how they will feel once they get their hands on it and tell everyone, but what happens once they get home with it? Are they happy or do they just move on to the next viral thing? That's the problem. It's a never-ending, soul-sucking habit that doesn't satisfy the deepest longings in us as human beings. Only God can satisfy our cravings, and we can ask Him to remove those desires we have for everything and replace them with a desire to be content. 

I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. Philippians 4:10-12

Is anyone out there old enough to remember the whole cabbage patch doll fiasco in the 80's? The beanie babies of the 90's? It was like the wild, wild west in those days. Ladies slapping ladies over baby dolls, my goodness! I had a knockoff cabbage patch doll made by some sweet lady my mom knew. Never cared for the beanies. What I'm noticing since 2020 is the stores putting out their holiday merchandise 2-3 months before the holiday season, and people filling up their carts earlier and earlier with those items. Because I plan a lot of parties for family members, I've noticed if I'm doing a theme party, I have to purchase those items well in advance of a season or I won't find them at all. For example, shopping for a summer themed party in March to make sure those items aren't gone by May, and they usually are very picked over by then. People are shopping in a frenzy, which doesn't seem to go along with the "failing economy" narrative I'm also hearing constantly. People should watch the consumption on YouTube, and be shocked at all the boosting of economies going on. It's a free-for-all, and not slowing down any time soon. There is a viral tendency out there, for sure. It's a virus in our minds to believe we have to have everything and we have to have it now or we'll miss it. That is a flat out lie, and planning a wedding has had me falling for it left and right. This virus runs deeper than we realize. 1 John 2:16 For everything in the world–the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life–comes not from the Father but from the world. 

  Retailers don't think it's a problem when they continue to sell out of viral products. They've even created "as seen on TV" or "Viral on Tik Tok" products in their stores. No shade to influencers, but I don't need people to tell me what to buy, and I certainly won't pay them to do it, especially when I know they don't even use it.  It's great for the retailers, but becomes a thorn for shoppers who just want to find the thing they actually need, and don't want to pay an inflated price for it online somewhere. The $1.25 sanitizer I mentioned? You can find it on different online markets for $25.00, being sold by individuals who are trying to make a buck off the fact that they have the viral product someone is desperate to own. It's insane, and this type of greed and overconsumption just ruins it for everyone, even if they don't realize it yet. Hebrews 13:5 Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you." Satisfaction won't come with owning that thing or any other thing until you're at peace with what you already have and are satisfied that you already have everything you need and trust God with all that you still desire. 

 Same with nature–if you abuse it or try to take too much of it for yourself, you will ruin it for yourself and others. We used to love going to a certain northern city, but because it has become so overrun with tourists and traffic, it's no longer the quiet beach town we once loved many years ago as a young couple. It seems that once too many people "discover" a hideaway type place, it becomes a place to avoid. Gone are the days of finding special places or deciding to go camping on a whim. Since 2020, many campgrounds now require many months if not a year's ahead reservation due to overcrowding. Places we once went to because they were small and "untraveled" are now overrun with people. Even our favorite dark sky park went commercial due to its boom in popularity and we haven't been back since. We could no longer access the quiet beach area where we first watched the meteor showers for the first time. In its place is a large brick building that holds lectures and classes. I'm all for progress and growth in certain places, but it seems it also comes with the loss of the ability to explore quiet, untouched and natural areas. This is my opinion, of course. It comes with my influence and experience of living surrounded by trees and nature. We may not have a Great Lake in our backyard to watch a meteor shower beside, but we have a pool and our own dark sky right above our land. We already have what we need and everything we want when we are content with what we've already been given. May that be the "thing" that goes viral in all of our hearts. 

Now may the Lord of peace himself give you peace at all times and in every way. The Lord be with all of you. 

2 Thessalonians 3:16