Driving Lessons

 If you want to know more about a person's personality, ride in a car with them. One thing I've learned is that you can quickly surmise a person's boundaries while doing so. For example, how do they respond when being cut off in traffic? How do they react when someone is tailgating them? What is the general reaction when someone blares their horn while passing by, due to some unknown or known infraction? Now turn this around, what is YOUR personality when you are in the driver's seat? 

How patient are people on the road? Are they obeying speed limits? Using turn signals? Paying attention to upcoming construction zones and lane closures? Moving over for emergency vehicles? Parking between the lines or parking willy-nilly? Parking in tow zones or accessible/reserved parking spaces? And the one that really confounds me is when people flash their lights at me and I don't even drive with my brights on. I don't flash my lights at people for this reason. I also have a sensitivity to flashing lights, so this is a no-no on every level. Just look to the right if bright lights are coming toward you. It's not that hard to figure out our own solutions to these problems. Ephesians 4:26 In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold. It gives the enemy pleasure to see people letting their worst self come out on the roadways. Have you ever been out to lunch with a perfectly pleasant person only to see them turn into the Hulk on the road? Proverbs 8:13 To fear the Lord is to hate evil; I hate pride and arrogance, evil behavior and perverse speech. Counsel and sound judgment are mine; I have understanding and power. 

Some people would be a lot more peaceful if they paid attention to their own driving and not so much what others were doing, for sure. I think of a funny video where the little girl is saying, "Worry 'bout yourself...you drive!" to her father, and it's hilarious, but also true. Yes, we do need to 'worry about ourselves', but also be considerate and courteous to other drivers out there. Something I remember hearing is to never react rudely while driving because you never know who that other driver is. It  doesn't matter who that driver is. We just don't need to be acting like jerks on the road whatsoever.  If your family member or friend is on the road and makes a mistake, do you want someone going off on them? My girls used to hate being honked at when they first learned to drive. I think honking is rude unless someone is alerting you that you are moving into their lane or pulling out in front of them. But sitting at a stop light for a millisecond too long? Sir or madam, please. How long do you spend in the bathroom each day? It's going to be okay. Philippians 2:3-4 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. I may be sarcastic about it, but I really think people do get their bloomers in a knot over silly things when driving. 

One rule I remember about my old driving education is to leave plenty of space between my car and the car ahead of me. It was something like for every 10 miles per hour, allow that amount of car lengths. I don't know what the recommendations are now, but I am still very conscientious about the distance between myself and the cars ahead of me, whether in freeway traffic or driving in a small town. This boundary has saved me many times from being part of a chain reaction accident, simply because I had plenty of time to stop when a sudden braking incident occurred in front of me. And anyone who has traveled on certain Michigan freeways knows this happens frequently and who even knows why. I just want to get home safely and with no lives lost. Everyone seems to think they just need to "get there faster." Call me too analytical, but I want to know why. Maybe leave earlier? I don't know...is this just my old self slowing down? Was I this fast 30 years ago? 

This is a boundary that I don't appreciate being violated. People seem to think that because I have left that wonderful spacious car length ahead of me, that it is for them to converge upon and make it their own. No, sir or madam, that is my safe space, and you are now in it, rent-free. This is also a pet peeve of Steve's. Hello, I know you want to get to Wal-Mart just two seconds faster, but the question is why? It allows for a lot of car stand-up (sit down?) comedy routines. All the things that are surmised while wondering what the people who squeezed in ahead of us are in such a hurry to buy. Mayonnaise? A rain poncho? Maybe a Snickers bar for that grouchy tummy? Proverbs 17:22 A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones. 

There is a lot of road rage going on and has been going on for years. I don't care to incite it, or be reactive to it. It does make me a little crazy because I don't want to die. I've seen many car to car fights on the freeway, and all I want to do is get past them quickly. Help us, Lord. But this is why we all need boundaries on the road. We need to keep ourselves and others safe. The redheaded man who jumped OUT of his vehicle to confront another on the freeway was on another level of scary. We were in a traffic jam, unfortunately, and just had to pray that nothing was going to happen to anyone. This pervasive pride that is driving down our roads is going to end us if we don't get our hearts right. Proverbs 16:18 Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall.  

The world is going faster and faster, and with that people are driving faster and faster. When you don't slow down and think, you're bound to make more mistakes. When you take corners too fast, you don't have time to correct. When you don't decide ahead of time where you're going, you're going to make quick turns, wrong exits, and maybe end up on the wrong end of town. It's perfectly okay to make mistakes, but when we give ourselves limits, we are better equipped to correct and regroup. James 1:2-5 Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.

In life, I try to leave myself a lot of space, because although people like to criticize it, I do have occasional depression and a little more anxiety, like many people experience across the globe. I need that open space to get myself back on track sometimes. In that space, I need to have order, peace, time to pray and study, and something other than go-go-go, think-think-think, do-do-do. My spirit needs time to recharge so that my body has time to heal. People who have chronic illnesses will understand this. When we are under stress or duress, our bodies pay the price. When anything tries to take the space that I have created in order to heal, I have to demand it back. My health and my life depends on it. I need room between me and the next big "problem" or the next big "thing." I think most people do but if their bodies don't react in sickness, they may never make that connection. They just keep piling on and piling on, never understanding why their fuse is shorter and shorter, and their time is even more limited for the things that matter in life. Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. Suffice it to say that when I am dealing with a lot of anxiety, it is even harder for me to slow down and even spend the quality time I need with the Lord. Like the roundabouts I despise with a passion, anxiety is much like a vicious circle that I contend with often. 

Boundaries help us by realizing we need healthy space between us and other things. Even good things and sometimes other people. When we are finally alone, we can hear not only ourselves, but we can sense with our spirits what God may be trying to impart to us. We are not meant to go-go-go and do-do-do, which is why cutting people off, honking and crashing is not where we succeed. People respond to our grace and our humility. We will respond positively to our own grace and humility as well. 

We personally thrive when we finally let God drive. I am letting go of the wheel and letting go of the need to be right with all the rules, and allowing God to choose the route. Only He knows how to keep me between the lines and on the right path. Psalm 32:8 I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you. 

We are all Samsons

 Samson was born of a sterile and childless mother. Judges 13:3 The angel of the LORD appeared to her and said, "You are sterile and childless, but you are going to conceive and have a son. It's not the first time God brought about a miraculous birth to a previously childless couple. God had a specific purpose for Samson and gifted him with everything he would need to carry it out--godly parents, unusual physical strength, and the blessings and authority of the Lord. Samson was a Nazirite--a person who took a vow to be set aside for God's service for his entire lifetime. His purpose was to be a great leader for Israel against the Philistines. I used to think this was one of the craziest stories in the Bible as a child. His hair was his strength?? Well, his strength came from the Lord. His hair was a symbol of the power God gave him, and he was not to cut his hair out of obedience to God's command. Judges 13:5 No razor may be used on his head, because the boy is to be a Nazirite, set apart to God from birth, and he will begin the deliverance of Israel from the hands of the Philistines. Mom and Dad Samson definitely had a whoa moment when this happened. I can't even begin to imagine what I would think if I was visited by an angel of the Lord for any reason. 

Funny thing about Samson. As strong as he was physically, he was weak in his character. He had poor taste in women and he wasn't very wise with the strength God gave him. His choices and his pride would lead him to sin. When he chose to follow God, he would succeed. Funny thing about people, we are also like Samson. Even with the very presence of God, it didn't change the fact that Samson was still going to mess up.  

"Samson and Delilah" is recognizable in pop culture, as is Romeo and Juliet, due to the similar destructive themes of betrayal in love and passion. When people are deceived by lust, physical appearances, monetary promises, or any other fleshly desire, sin will be sure to follow. Delilah was deceived by rich and powerful men who wanted the truth about Samson's strength–enough that she would deceive Samson in order to get the information from him. Judges 16:5 The rulers of the Philistines went to her and said, "See if you can lure him into showing you the secret of his great strength and how we can overpower him so we may tie him up and subdue him. Each one of us will give you eleven hundred shekels of silver." He was entranced by her to the point that he could not see the "red flags" as we call them today, and set himself up for his eventual binding and blinding, which soon led to his death. We ask, how can anyone be that foolish? But if we're honest, all of us have been blinded by someone at least once in our lives, haven't we? 

What are people doing in relationships that could lead  to where Samson and Delilah ended up? They were both deceived, spiritually blind, and terribly impatient, among other things. It's important to decide ahead of time what kind of person we want to have beside us before  becoming swept away by the alluring traits of those who may lead us into destruction. It's important to decide ahead of time what kind of person WE want to be, before we head into a relationship. If not, we could get blinded by others very easily, just like Samson did. He lost touch with the difference between truth and reality at some point. His lover was asking him to tell her the secret of his strength so she could give it to his enemy, and he was so blind to her at that point, that he just said, "Sure, whatever!" and his goose was cooked. Judges 16:16-17 With such nagging she prodded him day after day until he was tired to death. So he told her everything. "No razor has ever been used on my head," he said, "because I have been a Nazirite, set apart to God since birth. If my head were shaved, my strength would leave me, and I would become as weak as any other man." She nagged and prodded and wore him down until he gave in. He had already become vulnerable to sin just from his own lack of good decisions. 

When we let things go or brush them off, it won't be long before we become blind to the manipulations of others. Samson was not going to be able to fulfill his purpose because he kept making shady and prideful choices. He was also with a person who held him back from living the life that God set apart for him.  When you or your partner is not able to fulfill their godly purpose or become the best of who they are meant to be, that is not the person for you. It is a choice to make good moral decisions and grow into a person of high character and integrity.  When we watch and observe the actions of others before we jump in headfirst, we can avoid a whole lot of bindings and blindings and spiritual death. Judges 16:21 Then the Philistines seized him, gouged out his eyes and took him down to Gaza. Binding him with bronze shackles, they set him to grinding in the prison. 

Samson was so prideful, he kept taking credit for all the strength he had and using it for revenge and to show off instead of for what God purposed it for. Isn't this what can happen when we lose our focus on God and instead focus on ourselves? 

When I remember that Samson was born to parents of good godly character, it reminds me that although it was probably taught in his home,  it is still a personal choice to follow or not follow the Lord for your own life. I can't imagine how his parents felt, realizing that an actual angel of the Lord delivered the news of his birth, expecting such a great leader, and then having him mistreat the gift the Lord gave him. Oh wait... this happens all the time. It happens to godly parents, too, when they take their eyes off God's plan for their children and try to take it into their own hands. We are all Samsons, in that respect. 

Samson not only had the physical presence of God at his conception, but he had the anointing on him to do great things. So do we. Samson messed up. So do we. Samson eventually humbled himself and realized he couldn't do things in his own strength and needed God. God heard his prayer, redeemed him and gave him forgiveness. This is us as well. No matter how much we mess up, God is still listening to us and waiting for us to turn back and call out to Him. He will always be there. 

A Way With The Word

 It's hard not to talk sometimes, but talking too much–even about seemingly innocent things–can get us into trouble. I'm certain I'm not the only one who's been there, but I've put my foot in my mouth plenty of times. Proverbs 21:23 Those who guard their mouths and their tongues keep themselves from calamity. Why couldn't I have just stayed quiet?

Why would God want us to be quiet? It's not that He wants us to be quiet, but He wants us to be wise about what we share, how we share it, when, and even with whom we share. He wants us to talk to Him about it first. Psalm 139:23-24 Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. I have to laugh sometimes when I think about how quiet we all would be if we only said what God wanted us to say. The kind of silence that vibrates, right?

We are to ask God to check us and lead us into the things we say and do. We like to think we know the best way and the right way to do things or what is best for others, but the fact is, we can get in God's way more times than we think. When we don't stop and pray about what to say or do before we act, we run the risk of being divisive or harmful in a situation. Yes, sometimes even when sharing our faith. 1 Peter 3:15-16 But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect, keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander. In order to have this hope, we must be constantly building our faith (thank you for this reminder, Norm), and being gentle and respectful in our behavior and in our attitudes. 

When is the last time you wanted to take advice from someone who wasn't living out the faith they are telling YOU how to live? Our true faith lived out is our best example of a life changed by Christ. When I think back to some of the people who have shaped my faith, one of the things that stands out is how gracious and patient they were with me. They saw my imperfections and met them with grace. 

Grace is the face that 

love wears when it meets

imperfection

Joseph R. Cooke 

In the moment, sometimes we forget that God needs to deal with us on the things that trip us, before we think we are qualified to tell others how bad they are stumbling. Matthew 7:3-5 "Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye. We are all hypocrites at some point or another, and probably every day, if we're being real about ourselves. I want to lose weight, but I also buy cookies! I want to have muscles, but I don't like to exercise! It's not just "people who go to church every Sunday yet still do blah blah blah," as I often hear. Going to church or being a Christian does not make anyone perfect or less prone to sinning. Going to church means something different for each person there, just like not going to church means something different for each person not there. It's best to not speculate on the reasons and actions of others. Life is hard enough for myself without having to keep others in check! Philippians 2:3-4 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. Amen. Lord, help me to be kinder, gentler, and more receptive to what others need. I want to be more gracious and patient, like my mentor is with me, and the ones before me. Not only were they happier, but they were much more peaceful too! This is living in the spirit, and not of the flesh. Galatians 5:25 Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. 

Learning to know what to say and how to say it comes with time, knowledge, and wisdom, and then there's no guarantee that we won't still say a wrong thing! James 3:2 We all stumble in many ways. If anyone is never at fault in what he says, he is a perfect man, able to keep his whole body in check. I respect hearing corrections or advice from people who have "put in their time", so to speak, and knowing that they are in the Word, learning and growing. I know that they have been praying about my situation and therefore will follow God's lead before they speak on it. There is a great deal of trust between people required before this type of relationship can exist. I know more now than I did before that it starts with me and my relationship with God and I didn't always recognize this. I thought I just had to know the Word and how to pray and believe, and all of that good stuff. But there was more God was showing me, and now I know this is where the Word, prayer, and belief leads. I want to be careful when I pray for others, that I am asking for God's will and listening for His voice when I am quiet. Psalm 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God;

When I truly began searching into the actual character of God, I began to unravel the character of myself, and I tore open some things that I had kept buried before. What I began to learn is that I was finally allowing the realization in that God knows me. That may not seem too deep for someone who already "gets it," but for a person who doesn't intimately know the Lord, it becomes new territory to realize that God knows us. It seems obvious since He created us, right? But that kind of went over my head. I was so busy reading Scripture and writing it down, that I didn't stop to think about this part of it. 

 Here's how it went: I started getting to know Him and his attributes, and because of that, I realized how much he already knew me. This is another side of the "relationship" part of "religion" that people talk about but don't really know how to explain well. It's because it's personal to us and God with elements only we can explain because they only apply to us personally. It's how we are designed. John 10:27-28 My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one can snatch them out of my hand. It doesn't matter how many times someone tells us something about God. It's when we finally receive it for ourselves that it sinks in. God has always been there, always will be, and is so patient with us. But He does want us to come to Him willingly. When we do, and we accept Him, a whole new relationship begins. Matthew 7:7 "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. When we continue to pursue God, He will give us Himself. Let me also say that trying to define who God is is like trying to harness the sun with a butterfly net. I'm simply reading Scriptures and seeking what God did and what attributes that it revealed in Him. There is no way to fully know God, unless through His Son, Jesus. John 17:3 Now this is eternal life: that they may know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom you have sent. But again, I'm getting a little off topic. I'm trying to keep these shorter! 

When I started into my studies, It was much more than reading the "thees and thous and heretos" that usually keep people from delving into the Bible. I started seeing how God led His people into and out of situations, and I saw how He had been leading me in and out of situations my whole life. I imagined myself into the same places as those people, as weird as that may sound, and I saw how He loves us and truly does put us in the best positions for our success. But like any parent would impart, we have a responsibility in our own success too. It's not a bunch of rules and regulations we have to follow–it's a heart we have to have for things that we know are good for our well-being, and making choices that don't always make sense, but will be the best outcome for who God is making us into. When we get on God's side of things, it's a faith we build that drives us closer and closer to God and into the life He has planned for us. Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD," plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 

If we want to be the kind of people that others come to for faith questions or prayers, we should be spending time with God in prayer, and also allowing Him to shape us into the person that can be trusted with His Word. I believe God has been encouraging me to learn by showing me my weaknesses and helping me to become stronger. What we commit to Him, He will bless. 

"You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.

Matthew 5:14

(For more on learning the attributes of God's character, read the Psalms)