Saturday, February 7, 2009

Little Problems,,,,Big Feelings

Wow....what a week it was. Steve struggled at work with some challenging things....Serena's best friend got mad at her and told her she didn't want to be her friend anymore....which led to a phone call from the friend's mom, who was mortified at her daughter's behavior....an apology and forgiveness later, they were best friends again. I'm glad it was resolved quickly, but it is so hard to watch my kids go through this stuff!
Natalie forgot her homework in her locker and the math teacher wouldn't let her go get it. Her classmates snickered at her, pointed, and just made a bunch of cracks at her. Then she realized she left her social studies review sheet on the counter at home and got a "pink slip" from her teacher. Even one of her closest friends made cracks and laughed at her. That stings. Yes, rules are rules, and if you forget a paper, you get a pink slip that has to be signed by a parent or they get detention. I'm sorry, I cringe at that. My daughters are straight "A" students, they excel, have great citizenship, and never get in trouble. There are kids who are so obnoxious and disruptive, and get 7 warnings before a consequence. A pink slip on the first time? Are you kidding me?? I was more than livid on Friday about that one. Mad that her friend keeps pinching her because she says "you're embarrasing me while I'm trying to be popular." My girl has my genes. She says to her, "Fine. Go be popular. Have fun!" Then complains that she's getting marks on her arms. AAAHHH!! Are my kids without fault and are they perfect? Of course not! But when they hurt, I hurt too.
Yes, they need to go through these experiences in order to grow and mature. Yes, they will certainly face worse, and will get more of the same as adults. It doesn't make it any easier to be their parent. Watching your kids go through painful experiences is frustrating. You can't go through it for them, you can't take it away, you can't protect them all the time, and you can't expect rules to be bent for them. However, a mother's love is a mother's love and a part of my heart breaks when theirs breaks. That's just being a mom. I can't imagine I will ever feel any differently toward them.
My mom's heart broke time and time again while I was growing up. All of us took a piece of it at one time or another. Mom sat on the front porch with me while I sobbed. Typical 15 year old tears. Oh, how I dread the days ahead at times.
I know it sounds cliche, but I tell moms all the time to enjoy their babies and preschoolers while they're little. It really does go fast and it really doesn't get any easier when they get older.
I'm trying to raise strong capable girls, and it takes a lot of bullet biting. I really wanted to rip into everybody on Friday, but I remained calm and talked my girls through. Made it through that one, but who knows when the next crisis will come?
These are small troubles compared to some, but when you go through them, they are important to you. It's all part of the test of parenting. They're watching to see how I react and if I do what I preach. Sometimes it's hard to be the grown up in this great big world.

1 comment:

Shoemaker Family said...

Aw, that just made my heart a little sad. I LOVE those Rogers girls to death! What treasures of beautiful young women they are. I commit to pray for them both this week, that God will pour his love and blessings on them in new ways.

Kudos to you and Steve for being the support they need.

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