Today I helped prepare the church for the 2nd annual "Night in Bethlehem", which will take place this Wednesday night. The moment I arrived, my joyful mood was turned to sadness when I heard that one of our church families was involved in a serious car accident on Sunday. Thankfully, the family of 5 is alive and expected to make a full recovery. Still, I couldn't help but think of how the 3 kids reacted when this accident occurred and injured both of their parents right before their eyes. How scary it must have been to see daddy going off in a helicopter, and mom in an ambulance. How tragic it would be to not be sure your kids are okay. Sponge that I am, I just absorbed all of what they must have felt.
I also felt gratitude that the accident didn't claim any of their lives, especially those 3 children. I felt a great need to be of help to them however I can. I hope they allow me and others to care for them so they can see the blessing they are to us.
Anyway, hug your family just a little tighter. You never know what's around the corner. Be blessed this holiday season with the feeling of gratitude for what and who you have. Be ready to serve so you can bless others with your grateful heart!
And most of all, please pray for this family. I won't mention their name and I don't really have to. God knows who they are! Thanks!
Monday, November 29, 2010
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Good Stuff
Natalie came home from school a couple of weeks ago, talking about what happened in her devotions group at lunch. She was going on about the Book of James and why they chose to study that....who was in it....when I finally stopped her and said,
"What did you just say?? Nat,that is SO cool!"
So, this group of kids, 2 boys and 3 or 4 girls, decided that on Fridays, they would have "Jesus Freak Friday", doing a study on the book of James, and prayer time. They use part of their lunch hour instead of going outside to hang out with friends. They invite kids to come each week, and while some will come, several turn them down because it's just "not cool". Fair enough, Jesus wasn't all that "cool" to some either. She takes it all in stride. Her answer to that response was, "Guys, we better pray for them."
I continue to be speechless over her spiritual growth over the past couple years, almost since the day of her baptism! She told me something changed in her that day, and I have seen it. I guess you can go on about your kids' grades, their athletic ability, and even their manners, but I am really most pleased that they love the Lord and want to please Him.
Steve and I really wanted to reward the kids' efforts to win others over for Christ, so we offered to provide full size candy bars to all the kids who show up for the study each Friday. It's not bribery, but just incentive to keep meeting together. One of the kids was quite hopeful. He said, "It's not that I think your parents are poor or anything, but that's going to get pretty expensive." Now that is Faith!!
So, if you feel inclined, please keep the kids' study group in your prayers. They are being teased by other students, but the real need is for those who are teasing to be changed by what they see!
"What did you just say?? Nat,that is SO cool!"
So, this group of kids, 2 boys and 3 or 4 girls, decided that on Fridays, they would have "Jesus Freak Friday", doing a study on the book of James, and prayer time. They use part of their lunch hour instead of going outside to hang out with friends. They invite kids to come each week, and while some will come, several turn them down because it's just "not cool". Fair enough, Jesus wasn't all that "cool" to some either. She takes it all in stride. Her answer to that response was, "Guys, we better pray for them."
I continue to be speechless over her spiritual growth over the past couple years, almost since the day of her baptism! She told me something changed in her that day, and I have seen it. I guess you can go on about your kids' grades, their athletic ability, and even their manners, but I am really most pleased that they love the Lord and want to please Him.
Steve and I really wanted to reward the kids' efforts to win others over for Christ, so we offered to provide full size candy bars to all the kids who show up for the study each Friday. It's not bribery, but just incentive to keep meeting together. One of the kids was quite hopeful. He said, "It's not that I think your parents are poor or anything, but that's going to get pretty expensive." Now that is Faith!!
So, if you feel inclined, please keep the kids' study group in your prayers. They are being teased by other students, but the real need is for those who are teasing to be changed by what they see!
Sunday, November 21, 2010
A Thankful Heart is A Happy Heart
Thanksgiving is just a few days away, but I think every day is Thanksgiving. I don't wait for a turkey-laden day to know what I am grateful for, do you??
I think we should just rename it "Stuff your face day", since come on, you know all you care about is pie. Yes, you do! That and who can make it to the couch first!
My mom is so funny, in a not so funny way. She always plans dinner for the middle of the football game. Not before. Not after, but right in the middle. It always drove Steve nuts, but you just don't mess with mom and her ideas. I guess she wants the emphasis to be on dinner and not on football. Crazy woman, huh? She's been cooking for days, up early sticking her hand in a cold bird's behind, I guess she can call the shots about dinner.
We have a few smokers in our family, and of course, they can't smoke in the house, so they stand outside and freeze!! I have no sympathy for them. I hate smoking and I tell them so. I'm sure I'm the favorite sister and aunt, aren't I?? Oh, not really, but at least my lungs are clean. And I'm younger. Much younger.
Thanksgiving goes really well unless the marshmallow topping on the sweet potatoes catches on fire again. Now, that is hilarious, although the smoke alarm and hearing aid combo---not that funny. Well, kinda. Almost as funny as the time the pepper lid came off while seasoning the gravy and mom and I had to put the gravy through a sieve. Someone at the table had the nerve to compliment the gravy and we busted out laughing. Crazy women, all of us.
My favorite part of these family get togethers is when one of my siblings brings up those lovely childhood memories. Funny how everyone has a different memory of the same event, isn't it? Well, they're all liars and I was a perfect child. Enough said.
We don't fight over the wishbone because it could easily turn into hand to hand combat. It's bad enough when there's one last piece of pumpkin pie. U-G-L-Y!! Of course we all fight over who "gets" to do the dishes. Mom never wants help, and my sister used to take her up on it and go take a nap. I have a solution to that. All the women will retreat to the living room, put their hand in the waistband of their tight pants, flip on a Hallmark movie, belch and make the men do the dishes. Yeah!!
I don't know about you, but I can't wait for Thanksgiving. I just love family get togethers. Just a second, I am laughing so hard I'm in tears and I can't see! Okay, I'm kidding a little. I do like some parts of getting together, but really, I just love the food. And the pie. Okay, and the family time.
I am thankful for my family, warts and all, and for the time we are able to get together, tease each other, complain, and fight over the last piece of pie. I am most grateful for mom, who sticks her hand in that gross turkey, pulls out his little "lunch" and cooks it up for the dogs. That woman just rocks.
Happy Stuff Your Face Day, and Happy Thanksgiving!!
I think we should just rename it "Stuff your face day", since come on, you know all you care about is pie. Yes, you do! That and who can make it to the couch first!
My mom is so funny, in a not so funny way. She always plans dinner for the middle of the football game. Not before. Not after, but right in the middle. It always drove Steve nuts, but you just don't mess with mom and her ideas. I guess she wants the emphasis to be on dinner and not on football. Crazy woman, huh? She's been cooking for days, up early sticking her hand in a cold bird's behind, I guess she can call the shots about dinner.
We have a few smokers in our family, and of course, they can't smoke in the house, so they stand outside and freeze!! I have no sympathy for them. I hate smoking and I tell them so. I'm sure I'm the favorite sister and aunt, aren't I?? Oh, not really, but at least my lungs are clean. And I'm younger. Much younger.
Thanksgiving goes really well unless the marshmallow topping on the sweet potatoes catches on fire again. Now, that is hilarious, although the smoke alarm and hearing aid combo---not that funny. Well, kinda. Almost as funny as the time the pepper lid came off while seasoning the gravy and mom and I had to put the gravy through a sieve. Someone at the table had the nerve to compliment the gravy and we busted out laughing. Crazy women, all of us.
My favorite part of these family get togethers is when one of my siblings brings up those lovely childhood memories. Funny how everyone has a different memory of the same event, isn't it? Well, they're all liars and I was a perfect child. Enough said.
We don't fight over the wishbone because it could easily turn into hand to hand combat. It's bad enough when there's one last piece of pumpkin pie. U-G-L-Y!! Of course we all fight over who "gets" to do the dishes. Mom never wants help, and my sister used to take her up on it and go take a nap. I have a solution to that. All the women will retreat to the living room, put their hand in the waistband of their tight pants, flip on a Hallmark movie, belch and make the men do the dishes. Yeah!!
I don't know about you, but I can't wait for Thanksgiving. I just love family get togethers. Just a second, I am laughing so hard I'm in tears and I can't see! Okay, I'm kidding a little. I do like some parts of getting together, but really, I just love the food. And the pie. Okay, and the family time.
I am thankful for my family, warts and all, and for the time we are able to get together, tease each other, complain, and fight over the last piece of pie. I am most grateful for mom, who sticks her hand in that gross turkey, pulls out his little "lunch" and cooks it up for the dogs. That woman just rocks.
Happy Stuff Your Face Day, and Happy Thanksgiving!!
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Parenting Is Not For The Weak
We made it through another week! Not that I look at life as just making it from one week to the next, but last week felt like a war zone in a parenting sort of way.
My kids were great. Nat had a great basketball game, Serena had awesome remarks at her PT conferences, and all A's to boot! Their attitudes were great, they were listening, and being respectful.
It's not my kids that get me all riled up. It's other parents! Without being too specific, let's just say that it's not always the kids who make it difficult for other kids to stand up for what is right.
When I send my daughters on sleepovers, I expect the parents to be respectful. That includes not watching movies we don't approve of here, or allowing my kids to watch movies they are not ready to watch. I do expect them to clear any movie choices with me first. Yes, I do! Just as I would clear my choices with them. Odd behavior? It seems to be to some. It really is just normal for me. Even further, I would expect that if I said, "No, we don't approve of that movie that has language, nudity, and crude behavior", that the parent would 86 that movie, not ask that my child come later after the other kids get to see it, and even be a little embarassed that they didn't know what they were about to watch. In one week, we saw one parent do the right thing by asking first, and saw yet another go in another direction.
It left one of my daughters thinking, "Is seeing that movie more important than me being there?" Good question. Kids make these mistakes all the time, but parents? I expect them to stand for something good. In fact, shouldn't we all be standing together??
I needed only to remind her of many verses in the Bible, which gave her the basis of why we say no to those things. I felt for her, as being left out, singled out, or the "uncool" one is never fun! I reminded her that as long as God is watching, we will seek to please Him, not anyone else. We'll try to do it politely and quietly, but it will be done.
I already see the rewards of standing up for what is right, and I hope the girls will too. I know it isn't easy to be "the only one", because I've been in that position as a kid and as an adult. However, God blesses those who do right by Him, and that's our purpose first and foremost.
We made it through one test and there will be plenty more. Hang on to your kids, parents. Don't be afraid to parent them. Don't worry about being their buddy. Believe me, they don't want you to be their friend. They want you to be their safe place, and a safe parent sets clear limits. Don't be afraid to stick to your guns and do what is right by God and your family!! No matter what the cost.
My kids were great. Nat had a great basketball game, Serena had awesome remarks at her PT conferences, and all A's to boot! Their attitudes were great, they were listening, and being respectful.
It's not my kids that get me all riled up. It's other parents! Without being too specific, let's just say that it's not always the kids who make it difficult for other kids to stand up for what is right.
When I send my daughters on sleepovers, I expect the parents to be respectful. That includes not watching movies we don't approve of here, or allowing my kids to watch movies they are not ready to watch. I do expect them to clear any movie choices with me first. Yes, I do! Just as I would clear my choices with them. Odd behavior? It seems to be to some. It really is just normal for me. Even further, I would expect that if I said, "No, we don't approve of that movie that has language, nudity, and crude behavior", that the parent would 86 that movie, not ask that my child come later after the other kids get to see it, and even be a little embarassed that they didn't know what they were about to watch. In one week, we saw one parent do the right thing by asking first, and saw yet another go in another direction.
It left one of my daughters thinking, "Is seeing that movie more important than me being there?" Good question. Kids make these mistakes all the time, but parents? I expect them to stand for something good. In fact, shouldn't we all be standing together??
I needed only to remind her of many verses in the Bible, which gave her the basis of why we say no to those things. I felt for her, as being left out, singled out, or the "uncool" one is never fun! I reminded her that as long as God is watching, we will seek to please Him, not anyone else. We'll try to do it politely and quietly, but it will be done.
I already see the rewards of standing up for what is right, and I hope the girls will too. I know it isn't easy to be "the only one", because I've been in that position as a kid and as an adult. However, God blesses those who do right by Him, and that's our purpose first and foremost.
We made it through one test and there will be plenty more. Hang on to your kids, parents. Don't be afraid to parent them. Don't worry about being their buddy. Believe me, they don't want you to be their friend. They want you to be their safe place, and a safe parent sets clear limits. Don't be afraid to stick to your guns and do what is right by God and your family!! No matter what the cost.
Monday, November 8, 2010
News You Can't Use
Yesterday after church I started coming down with some kind of bug. Actually, for 2 days prior I'd been feeling a bit "off", but figured it was because I hadn't been sleeping well again. So, I'm just starting to feel better...sigh.
Here is the "Neighborhood News" from the past week:
**Nattie had her first club basketball game last Thursday night. They played 2 really tough teams. They're 8th graders, and boy, a year makes a difference. Not only that, but these girls have been playing a lot longer. The girls didn't seem too discouraged until the last game, when they were exhausted and way behind in points. It was a good experience for them, but they played harder than they've ever had to and it was tough out there. Nattie scored in the first game, which gave her lots of confidence!
**Patty came up from Vicksburg on Saturday to attend a crop with me. I was glad, because no one else I invited showed up, as usual!! There were a few other people there, none of which I knew, but they were a fun group and they encouraged me to come back. We actually went in early so we could scrap longer, and it worked out well. We made a mid-day run to JoAnn's for supplies. So, I have resolved the fact that no one wants to scrapbook (except for Jenn, who had plans that day), so I will just do it with this group as long as they plan them. I guess that's the best way to find people to scrap with, right? I guess you can tell I'm tired of begging.
**On more important fronts, my dad got his 5 year cancer free bill of health today!! Praise the Lord for his healing! Today is my parents' anniversary (42 years!) as well. It sure is a better anniversary gift than the bad news they received on this day back in '05. It was the first Thanksgiving that we weren't together. Mom and I spent Thanksgiving in the hospital with my dad. Since we knew all of the tumor had been removed and no other cancer was found, it was the best cafeteria meal we'd ever shared!! A party is being planned in his honor!
**Sophie's health has improved!! She is back to her sneaky self, but still needing a bit of assistance. She has some challenges, for sure, but she seems happy and pain free. As long as that remains, so will she. I have a heart for all animals, and the biggest reason is that they are such a source of unconditional love. There is nothing I can do to change her affection for me!
**I worked Children's Church on Sunday, and although I was feeling a bit "off", I thoroughly enjoyed it. I keep wondering if God wants me to do something with kids, as being with kids makes me happier than anything else! Before my health started to bug me back in May, I had planned on doing some babysitting here at home. I have a heart for kids too for the same reason as animals. They love you no matter what!! Since having babies isn't going to happen, I suppose I'll have to love everyone else's babies! Not a problem.
**About 7-10 deer are visiting us every day. Mostly does and young ones. They were sparring a bit the other day. I wish we could feed them again. I used to love watching them come in to eat every night. We've had about 27 turkey hens coming as well. One day I looked out and they had invaded the swing set. Three on top, 2 on the sides, and 3 in the sand box. Then one hen dropped from the top of the swing set into the trampoline and couldn't get out. Steve was on his way to Detroit, so I called to ask him how to get a turkey out of the trampoline. After he stopped laughing.....actually, I just walked out on the deck and she flew back out. They really are comical to watch. It's really fun to watch the squirrels crawling in and out of the pumpkins on the deck. You really can't beat this kind of entertainment, ya know? I love living the wild life!
**This week we have PT conferences, Physical therapy (Natalie's OTHER knee is acting up now!), practice, 2 games, 3 birthdays....the list goes on.
**I witnessed a beautiful thing tonight. As I was not feeling well and my medicine hadn't started working yet, I was just sitting in the living room quietly. Natalie started playing "I wanna Hold Your Hand" on guitar, and Serena started singing the lyrics. I'm not sure what blessed me more, the fact that they have a natural knack for music (something I've always hoped for), or if it was the way they were making such beautiful music together as sisters. They are so close and good to each other most of the time. (something else I'd always hoped for). When people say God will give you the things you lacked, they're not kidding. I may not have gotten them when I asked, or even when I thought it was time, but God has given me these things through others, and I see it in my girls all the time.
And THAT is news you can USE!!
Here is the "Neighborhood News" from the past week:
**Nattie had her first club basketball game last Thursday night. They played 2 really tough teams. They're 8th graders, and boy, a year makes a difference. Not only that, but these girls have been playing a lot longer. The girls didn't seem too discouraged until the last game, when they were exhausted and way behind in points. It was a good experience for them, but they played harder than they've ever had to and it was tough out there. Nattie scored in the first game, which gave her lots of confidence!
**Patty came up from Vicksburg on Saturday to attend a crop with me. I was glad, because no one else I invited showed up, as usual!! There were a few other people there, none of which I knew, but they were a fun group and they encouraged me to come back. We actually went in early so we could scrap longer, and it worked out well. We made a mid-day run to JoAnn's for supplies. So, I have resolved the fact that no one wants to scrapbook (except for Jenn, who had plans that day), so I will just do it with this group as long as they plan them. I guess that's the best way to find people to scrap with, right? I guess you can tell I'm tired of begging.
**On more important fronts, my dad got his 5 year cancer free bill of health today!! Praise the Lord for his healing! Today is my parents' anniversary (42 years!) as well. It sure is a better anniversary gift than the bad news they received on this day back in '05. It was the first Thanksgiving that we weren't together. Mom and I spent Thanksgiving in the hospital with my dad. Since we knew all of the tumor had been removed and no other cancer was found, it was the best cafeteria meal we'd ever shared!! A party is being planned in his honor!
**Sophie's health has improved!! She is back to her sneaky self, but still needing a bit of assistance. She has some challenges, for sure, but she seems happy and pain free. As long as that remains, so will she. I have a heart for all animals, and the biggest reason is that they are such a source of unconditional love. There is nothing I can do to change her affection for me!
**I worked Children's Church on Sunday, and although I was feeling a bit "off", I thoroughly enjoyed it. I keep wondering if God wants me to do something with kids, as being with kids makes me happier than anything else! Before my health started to bug me back in May, I had planned on doing some babysitting here at home. I have a heart for kids too for the same reason as animals. They love you no matter what!! Since having babies isn't going to happen, I suppose I'll have to love everyone else's babies! Not a problem.
**About 7-10 deer are visiting us every day. Mostly does and young ones. They were sparring a bit the other day. I wish we could feed them again. I used to love watching them come in to eat every night. We've had about 27 turkey hens coming as well. One day I looked out and they had invaded the swing set. Three on top, 2 on the sides, and 3 in the sand box. Then one hen dropped from the top of the swing set into the trampoline and couldn't get out. Steve was on his way to Detroit, so I called to ask him how to get a turkey out of the trampoline. After he stopped laughing.....actually, I just walked out on the deck and she flew back out. They really are comical to watch. It's really fun to watch the squirrels crawling in and out of the pumpkins on the deck. You really can't beat this kind of entertainment, ya know? I love living the wild life!
**This week we have PT conferences, Physical therapy (Natalie's OTHER knee is acting up now!), practice, 2 games, 3 birthdays....the list goes on.
**I witnessed a beautiful thing tonight. As I was not feeling well and my medicine hadn't started working yet, I was just sitting in the living room quietly. Natalie started playing "I wanna Hold Your Hand" on guitar, and Serena started singing the lyrics. I'm not sure what blessed me more, the fact that they have a natural knack for music (something I've always hoped for), or if it was the way they were making such beautiful music together as sisters. They are so close and good to each other most of the time. (something else I'd always hoped for). When people say God will give you the things you lacked, they're not kidding. I may not have gotten them when I asked, or even when I thought it was time, but God has given me these things through others, and I see it in my girls all the time.
And THAT is news you can USE!!
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Don't Call Me!
Everyone who knows me knows my disdain of all things political. So, you probably would guess my annoyance level at election time! This time was no different, of course, with more smear ads, excessive phone calls all day, and signs blocking my vision at corners. If I hated politics then, none of those things won me over this time either. I'd rather have my teeth drilled without novacaine. Yes, really!!
I respect reality and truth, and find that politics is the direct opposite. Before you tell me who your favorite is and why they are so not like that, know that I will be rolling my eyes inside. Sorry. It's just that annoying for me. As I get older, I tolerate it less and less. Everyone has an agenda, and some stop at nothing to get it. Some are more concerned about winning than working. Some blow so much money on campaigns, it just makes me wonder just how many sick children or starving people that money could have served. Self-serving yes men and women. Ugh!! And they wonder why voter apathy exists.
Okay, enough of my own smear campaign. At least where that topic is concerned anyway. For several weeks, we were subjected to harassing phone calls by people with thick accents. They called at least 4 times a day, asking for a person who we don't even know. When I would tell them they had the wrong number, they'd hang up abruptly. However, if I let the machine pick up, they left names, numbers, and a message about a "package" or a "check" to pick up. I googled all the numbers and found that a few of them were reported by other people who were getting harassed as well. One of them was asked for money! I was extremely frustrated to say the least. I was so angry by their intrusion that I decided I was going to blow a whistle into the phone. I never got the chance. They stopped calling. We were so relieved, and I hope they don't call back again. This was going on at the same time as all the political phone calls. Talk about your acid tests. Yikes. I'm keeping my whistle by the phone, by the way.
I respect reality and truth, and find that politics is the direct opposite. Before you tell me who your favorite is and why they are so not like that, know that I will be rolling my eyes inside. Sorry. It's just that annoying for me. As I get older, I tolerate it less and less. Everyone has an agenda, and some stop at nothing to get it. Some are more concerned about winning than working. Some blow so much money on campaigns, it just makes me wonder just how many sick children or starving people that money could have served. Self-serving yes men and women. Ugh!! And they wonder why voter apathy exists.
Okay, enough of my own smear campaign. At least where that topic is concerned anyway. For several weeks, we were subjected to harassing phone calls by people with thick accents. They called at least 4 times a day, asking for a person who we don't even know. When I would tell them they had the wrong number, they'd hang up abruptly. However, if I let the machine pick up, they left names, numbers, and a message about a "package" or a "check" to pick up. I googled all the numbers and found that a few of them were reported by other people who were getting harassed as well. One of them was asked for money! I was extremely frustrated to say the least. I was so angry by their intrusion that I decided I was going to blow a whistle into the phone. I never got the chance. They stopped calling. We were so relieved, and I hope they don't call back again. This was going on at the same time as all the political phone calls. Talk about your acid tests. Yikes. I'm keeping my whistle by the phone, by the way.
Monday, November 1, 2010
I'm A "Working Mom" Too!
Oh, I heard that famous comment the other day....someone was telling me something (so vague, but it must be this way), and I heard those words, "Yeah, but I'M a WORKING mom." Well, I wonder what that makes me??
This mom runs her kids to school and home, to practices, friend's houses, events, church functions, doctor's appointments, and the like. I don't have a babysitter, launderess, cook, gardener, personal shopper, or driver. Because I don't have an outside job, people assume I have all kinds of time to do whatever I want! I stare at the same walls pretty much all the time. I have very little interaction with friends,as they have made the choice to go to work. So, it makes for a pretty uneventful life at times. I can only do so much cooking, baking, and cleaning before I totally forget what else I enjoy doing. Right now my life is about being a wife and a mom.
We live on one income. That's a job in itself! Trying to manage raising 2 kids and give them the best of two parents means certain things are not in my vocabulary. Most of those things are anything personal, such as nice new jeans, pretty highlights in my hair, or perfume. I have tremendous guilt about buying something for myself when I know my kids need something too. My mom was the best teacher of this concept. I dressed as cute as a bug, while my mom did not most of the time. She didn't begrudge that at all. I feel bad about it, of course, but I know exactly what she means. It's not that they have to have everything, I just don't want to get it first.
Now, before the term "martyr mom" comes into your mind, that's not me. This is my choice, to work at home, raising my family and taking care of my home. When Steve travels, I am here. We make a point to put personal activities aside in order to make memories with our kids. It's not always easy to do that. But what I've learned about this choice of mine is that none of it is about me. It's all about them and what I want for them one day.
My mom regrets being a working mom. She regrets not having quality time with me. Not only was she a working mom, but she had 3 other kids,sometimes 4, and trust me, it wasn't easy for her. While money was her reason for working, I think now she has a different perspective altogether, and she is my biggest encourager to stay home and keep it up. She knows that self-worth can sometimes get lost in parenting, that some women find it at work. Some women feed off their careers and feel nothing without them. Some work to get away from the kids! Some want to drive ridiculously expensive cars, and so quitting isn't an option. Unless you put it in perspective.
So, I'm not a working mom?? Oh, yes, dearie, I AM. Just like you.
This mom runs her kids to school and home, to practices, friend's houses, events, church functions, doctor's appointments, and the like. I don't have a babysitter, launderess, cook, gardener, personal shopper, or driver. Because I don't have an outside job, people assume I have all kinds of time to do whatever I want! I stare at the same walls pretty much all the time. I have very little interaction with friends,as they have made the choice to go to work. So, it makes for a pretty uneventful life at times. I can only do so much cooking, baking, and cleaning before I totally forget what else I enjoy doing. Right now my life is about being a wife and a mom.
We live on one income. That's a job in itself! Trying to manage raising 2 kids and give them the best of two parents means certain things are not in my vocabulary. Most of those things are anything personal, such as nice new jeans, pretty highlights in my hair, or perfume. I have tremendous guilt about buying something for myself when I know my kids need something too. My mom was the best teacher of this concept. I dressed as cute as a bug, while my mom did not most of the time. She didn't begrudge that at all. I feel bad about it, of course, but I know exactly what she means. It's not that they have to have everything, I just don't want to get it first.
Now, before the term "martyr mom" comes into your mind, that's not me. This is my choice, to work at home, raising my family and taking care of my home. When Steve travels, I am here. We make a point to put personal activities aside in order to make memories with our kids. It's not always easy to do that. But what I've learned about this choice of mine is that none of it is about me. It's all about them and what I want for them one day.
My mom regrets being a working mom. She regrets not having quality time with me. Not only was she a working mom, but she had 3 other kids,sometimes 4, and trust me, it wasn't easy for her. While money was her reason for working, I think now she has a different perspective altogether, and she is my biggest encourager to stay home and keep it up. She knows that self-worth can sometimes get lost in parenting, that some women find it at work. Some women feed off their careers and feel nothing without them. Some work to get away from the kids! Some want to drive ridiculously expensive cars, and so quitting isn't an option. Unless you put it in perspective.
So, I'm not a working mom?? Oh, yes, dearie, I AM. Just like you.