Wednesday, December 5, 2012
Expectations
"Cease expecting and you shall gain all things." This is a quote by an unknown author and has stuck with me for years. It is so true. Our expectations get us into trouble. Expecting someone to do what they say. Expecting it not to rain when you planned a vacation. Expecting to lose that 10 pounds before your class reunion. Expecting someone to be kind because you have been kind. No. I've learned in life that if I'm angry, if I'm frustrated, if I'm anxious, it's because my expectations are clouding reality.
The only One you can always expect anything from is God. People are wonderful, in general, but I can promise you they will let you down. I can promise you without even knowing me that I will unknowingly let you down. I can't meet your expectations. Since you can control that part of you, I hope that you don't depend on me to meet your every expectation. To do so would be setting us both up for failure. And yet, I find myself expecting people to say or do or behave in a way that makes sense to me! I know this going in, and yet I still allow myself to hope that maybe just maybe they'll get it. They usually don't. Sometimes I don't get it either. Certain people have expected things from me that I'm not even capable of giving. If they knew me well enough, they'd know that already. And I know not to expect my carefree friend to know when I'm hurting. She just isn't wired that way. And so I don't wait for her to react the way I want her to, I just seek out the one I need, because I know what to expect from her. And I can always seek God, who already knows what I need and always gives me what I expect.
I have to watch my own expectations and understand that while a healthy amount of expectation keeps some people in line,(my kids, for one) it confuses others. Some people walk around as if they owe no one anything. No apology, no reason, not even an excuse. Sometimes not even a glance. I think we just need to give each other a break. Like the cars who always seem to think I have my brights on...ugh! I can't tell you how many people flash me at night. It drives me nuts and is so distracting. I never drive with my brights and yet these dillweeds keep punishing me anyway. I would expect them to be courteous and gracious, but doing that would just make me even more frustrated when they can't do that for me.
Cease expecting. Stop waiting for someone to get in line to make you happy. It won't happen. Get yourself some perspective and realize your comfort doesn't come from people doing what you expect, or the hope of losing that 10 pounds. It comes from the only One who can always meet your expectations, and from now on, I will be expecting more of myself in remembering that.
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1 comment:
Very convicting and timely for me Jamie. Recently I had a major conflict with some friends over expectations. What really struck was your line that some people don't think they owe you anything, not even a reason or an excuse. I too need to remember the One who can truely fulfill my expectations. Thanks for this post.
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