The Facebook "Split"

It's that time of year again...sap collection and boiling time, which can only lead to one thing..lots of work and a small amount of pure maple syrup! Steve got the trees tapped and ready to go, and the beautiful warm day yesterday had the sap and us up and running. I am ready for spring, even if it does mean things are only going to get busier and closer to that "g" word- graduation. Eventually I have to start talking about that, but for now, I'd like to stay in a bit of denial, and just continue my collecting of boxes of tissues. You think I'm joking.
At the same time our oldest daughter will be accomplishing a major goal, I am going to still be working on a major goal of my own. While I am keeping the details mum for awhile yet, let's just say it involves hours in front of my laptop, my printer, and lots of quiet time. It has also involved my need for research, which has involved some social media. This has caused some questions to arise. I have to shake my head sometimes....(smh, as people say) So, my hubs and I have had a joint facebook account since just before my daughter's major surgery. It was his idea, as I had never wanted any part of it. But after I realized I could communicate with my aunt and my sister more frequently, I became the major "post-er" on the account. We left it that way, and it was fine. But now as I am researching and following published authors and I want to share certain blog posts of my own, I don't feel as much an individual with my husband's name attached to mine. So, I split off and created my own account. You would have thought the world ended for some people!  DId we get a divorce? Are we having problems? Is there something going on?? Oh no!! Really?? Is that what people got out of us simply going from one account to two? Oh, people. That's just silly.
First of all, it's no one's business. Second of all, it's no one's business. :)  Facebook  (for some) has become a vessel for "everyone's business", and so now some people think it's their business to know everything. Let me tell you, if I want you to know something, I will tell you. If I don't tell you, you're not important enough to be told. Simple enough. Was that too forward? :) Some people just want to know the "dirt", but they never seem to ask "how are you"? Gets me every time.
Anyway, I do have some advice if you decide to be on Facebook. These are my personal opinions. Feel free to poo poo them as you choose. We live in a free country, after all. I have two teen daughters. One who could not care less about facebook, and one who doesn't even have an account! They weren't allowed to be on FB until they were the proper age, which drove them crazy, because all of their friends were allowed to lie about their ages so they could be on it early. Too bad. But they ended up not caring about it anyway. So, there you have it.
Don't "friend" people you don't know. Don't "friend" people who aren't your real friends on the street. Be kind on there. If you don't like what someone says, ignore it. And our personal rule is that we always share passwords with each other. There should be no reason to check up on each other, but there should also be no secrets either. :) I think Facebook and other social media sites can be a danger zone  if you are already struggling within yourself emotionally, socially, or within your relationships. Remember that some people only post the good things, making their lives look like a Hallmark commercial, while others only post the terrible things. If you are riding the waves of other people, then Facebook is not the place for you. If your marriage is struggling with issues of trust or insecurity, Facebook can be a playground of temptation and also a place of comparison if you are unhappy. (Remember, some people are only posting highlight reels!) If you are a teen dealing with depression or bullying issues, it can give others acccess to your life, which can make the problem escalate. Stay off all social media for a time or for good. And something I had to learn is that some family members will "like" and "comment" profusely on someone else's kids but never on yours, and it doesn't mean anything. I had to learn not to put so much weight on something that doesn't really matter! Sometimes I scroll past things I like or I feel like saying something, and quite honestly, I'm just too busy or too tired, and I just don't. So, it's just not a big deal. It isn't personal, and neither is Facebook.
I follow several female authors, and I hope to one day be one of those ladies who inspires me so much. I am learning from them, and growing as a person, and enjoying my moments so much more as I write more. And I am inspired by my supportive husband, who didn't like it when I went off on my own, though I didn't "go" anywhere, but understands my need for individuality and my desire to have something of my own, even if it is just a facebook page for now. :)

Follow Anna Donaldson, Author of Rare Bird at www.aninchofgray.blogspot.com