Real Christmas Gifts

 I once sent a friend a virtual gift of "the 12 days of Christmas".  It was an effort to make amends in a few areas and "give" new perspectives and share memories of the relationship over the years. I was excited each day, presenting my unique “gift”. I can’t say I didn’t have some type of expectation attached. Sometimes we don’t even realize the expectations we attach to people until they let us down. 

It was a well-written gift from the heart for this particular friend, and I don't really remember much feedback over the individual "gifts". Overall,  I think it took this person by surprise, and {SPOILER ALERT}, we are no longer in communication. Oh, not because of that....years have passed since then. 

I used to wonder if that person ever thought about it too, but now I don’t really think about it except to share these thoughts today.  While my expectations of others often led to disappointments,  I’m now in a much better and more peaceful place. I have learned a lot about myself through these lessons. 

In this gift-giving season, sometimes we need to give ourselves a "gift" and think a little deeper when "shopping" for others.  The biggest gift is to understand that giving is not about us. What others do or think about us or what we’ve done for them is also not about us. It’s so much easier when I slide Mr. Pride and Mrs. Ego out of the way, and let God lead my heart. 

It has made me realize that sometimes we can give people our hearts and not get the reaction we expected, and sometimes get a really unexpected reaction! But here's the real deal. Love is all about doing and giving what someone else needs. Whether it's your friend, family, or love interest. When you care about somebody, you don't think about whether or not you're going to GET something back! You act out of the love in your heart because you put that person's heart ahead of yours. So it doesn't matter what happens with the outcome, because the love is in the giving. Real love feels good, regardless. If it doesn't, then you're expecting something. If it blows up, it blows up. But you gave and you loved and it still mattered to the One who saw your intentions.

God showed us the most selfless act of love when He laid down his life for us. We could never match that level of love and sacrifice, and in fact, we are often quite unappreciative of the One who did this for us. And what does God do? He keeps loving us anyway. 

"For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son, that whoesoever believes in him should not perish, but have everlasting life." John 3:16

I've also realized that we still need to shine a bright light in the darkness even if no one sees it because that bright light was still meant to shine.  Shine your light everywhere you go simply because you have light. It is meant to dispel darkness, not to impress others or sway them to you. Did a stranger's smile ever make you smile back? THAT is light! You didn't follow them home, they didn't change your mind about anything. They just made you feel better without even trying. Go do that even when no one is seemingly watching. 

In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven. Matthew 5:16 

We need to think a whole lot less about what we are getting out of the efforts we may put in to people, and if we can’t do that, then we shouldn’t be doing it until our hearts are set straight. You won't always know how you impacted a person. Don't assume you know how a person received what you gave or what you did. It doesn't matter anyway, because it's never about us. If we did it, it's because God enabled us. 

I am the vine, you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. John 15:5

The best gift I ever gave this person who is not in my life at this time, is to pray for them and to also ask God to give me understanding and wisdom for this and all relationships. To help me with any unforgiveness I may have and to help me see these situations with His eyes. Then I am able to fully release the outcome to God and allow all relationships to be what they are meant to be and not what I pictured or hoped they would become.   

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct your paths. Proverbs 3:5-6

If we have kindness, compassion, a listening ear, understanding, a smile, some time to talk, or the gift of writing, baking, building, etc...Take that extra effort and pour it into another person's heart this Christmas. Love is always a gift when given, even if it’s not returned.