Carry Them In Your Heart

 I heard someone say recently something along these lines, "She gave you her open heart. You broke it. Don't expect her to be the same again with you. When she gave you her heart, that was a gift. You didn't treat it like a gift. Her heart will never again be that open to you, and now you're paying the price of never knowing her like that again." I feel this. Can you? As both a recipient of hurt and a deliverer of it, I can feel the pain of not being able to trust again someone who betrayed my open heart. I also know the pain of not being able to win over a person whose heart I broke. Both are equally painful, because a person's heart is something we must treat with respect, care, and the utmost compassion. If we don't, we will know and feel the consequences of our actions. 

Love one another. John 13:34

I saw a comment recently that read something like this, "I hurt my friend. When I realized how much I had hurt her, I apologized, but she didn't accept it, and our friendship ended.  I had to sit in those feelings for awhile and realize that just because I saw how my actions affected her, and just because I apologized, it didn't mean she had to accept either of those things. I had to move on." This is maturity, and it's not easy. We think because we discovered the wound that we can just magically bandage it up, rid ourselves of the heavy guilt, and move on. But it doesn't work that way. Our damage we inflict on others is far-reaching, even if we don't realize it at the time. Even if that friend would have accepted the apology and forgiven her, that friendship may never be the same again, because the relationship trust has been compromised. I've been in a friendship where I accepted an apology and gave forgiveness, but I can tell you to this day that I don't even know why the friendship actually ended. It hurt immensely at the time, because she just started avoiding me. Today we are cordial, but it could never return to what it was. This is a person I let into my heart and my life, whose family I loved like my own, and poof—one day she just decided she was done with me. People do this all the time. To me and to you. But it's not what God commanded of us. It's not loving at all. It's messy and painful, and it breeds contempt if we let it.  

My heart has been open, broken, confused, and deserted time and time again. How about you? It's the price of being born a human. We are not AI-assisted robots, unfortunately. This is not a 2024 revelation. We all go through painful situations that involve other people. We cause them, and we are the recipients of them. In fact, I used to write profusely about relationships because it was how I worked through some of those difficult times. I've been told I give too many chances. I kind of giggle at that. Really? I mean, I give at least 17, and then after that, forget it! I'm only going to give you 100 more! Sigh....I know. But if you've been here long enough, you know I just want the best outcome for you and for me. To me, the best is always to figure it out and be buddies, right? Yeah, ideally, but it doesn't always work out like a movie ending, I get it. Relationships will always be difficult, because people (we) are not perfect. We are not, but God is. God can heal what we break on a daily basis. Thank you, Lord, for giving us eternal chances. 

He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. Psalms 147:3

People are unpredictable. People are going through things we know nothing about, and they may not share everything with us. People come and people go. People leave our lives because things are happening in theirs that have nothing to do with ours. Sometimes the things happening in our lives make those things hurt even more, because we sometimes need people right when they leave us. Timing is everything, isn't it? Being and feeling lonely are two different things. I learned that too. I can be lonely for a time when I was surrounded by lots of friends and activities, but I can also appreciate that my life has now quieted enough to narrow down the things that I have had to focus myself on. I have learned the value of having a few close, dedicated friends, rather than the revolving door I once had. Throughout all of those years, I have seen many versions of myself, and who I am today is not who I was during those friendships. I would like to think that I have grown, matured in my faith, and become more understanding and loving and strong. This is what we must do each time we encounter hardships with people or we will become bitter.  We can thank each person we encountered for what we learned from them, forgive them for what we perceived as a hurt, apologize if necessary, and then keep it moving. We need to keep growing into who God made us to be, and not get sidetracked by the past and the things that hurt us there. Isaiah 43:18 Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past.

Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God has forgiven you. Ephesians 4:32

Some relationships will stand the test of time. They will endure the mistakes and the missteps we make, and they will give us the grace we don't deserve. They will grow stronger after a disagreement, rather than colder. Yes, there are those kinds of people. There are the people of our hearts, who long to keep getting to know us, who want to be there when we are going through life changes, and cheer us on when the world can't wait to jeer us. I have a few of these, and I am so grateful. My family contains some of my besties! Don't overlook the most obvious, faithful Friend of all. When we love like Jesus, we become the best friend we can be. We leave our egos at the door and simply give our hearts to the one who needs it more than we do. God says it best in Proverbs 17:17 A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity. If a friend loves at all times, then I still carry those old friends who don't count me, because I still love them, and I probably always will. They all gave me something in my heart worth keeping along the way. 

God bless you in the New Year! May you feel and know the friendship of God.