Assume Only This

Your assumptions are your windows on the world. Scrub them off every once in awhile, or the light won't come in. 

-Isaac Asimov 

 I heard a story around our Easter dinner table that allowed me to share what I felt to be an important lesson. My "lesson" was only a few sentences at the table, in case you were wondering. I'm not a dinner table preacher, at least I hope not. A young man we know living in his new neighborhood was outside his home when a neighbor walked by and scolded, "You guys need to mow your lawn," and kept on going. This wonderful young man has been a friend to our family for many years, and in his usual gentle manner, just took the blunt reprimand with a nod. Not that it matters, but he's not living in a strict neighborhood with those rigid HOA codes and restrictions, and his lawn wasn't too terribly overgrown, but he was aware that it was time to get it mowed. I didn't ask my daughter what the circumstances were, because that wasn't really the point. 

Overcome with a motherly protection toward this young man I've always particularly favored, I spoke up and made my usual comments fired by the injustice I was feeling.  I wish we could use the magic of television sometimes to re-do scenes in life. Add that record scratch noise, see people moving backward, and starting over. Not just in these situations, but in some of my own. For this particular situation, my second-take scene would have gone down like this: 

Our family friend would have been out in his yard when the man was approaching, and instead of being offended by the long grass, the man would have noticed that he has a new neighbor– a tall, bright-eyed, and friendly looking young man. He would have introduced himself and then been blessed by how wonderful, kind, and personable this young man is, and what a positive contribution he is to the neighborhood.  He may have then been compelled to say, "Hey, if you ever need a hand with anything, let me know. I'm right down the street. Here is my number." (This was my basic thought spoken at the table–hey, instead of assuming, why don't you offer your assistance?) Maybe then he could show who he is as part of a helpful  community, and not a shamer and blamer, finger-pointing at a situation he shouldn't  need to understand in order to be of human service. Men, please guide the younger men if what you want to see in this world is a better generation of you.  If all you're doing is going around huffing and puffing and pointing your bony fingers at them, you've already lost them. Titus 2:6-8 Similarly, encourage the young men to be self-controlled. In everything set them an example by doing what is good. In your teaching, show integrity, seriousness and soundness of speech that cannot be condemned, so that those who oppose you may be ashamed because they have nothing to say about us. 

We don't know what's going on inside a person's home, their yard, or their lives at any given time. People get sick, they take care of loved ones or sick animals.  They have depression, anxiety, work long hours, or their lawn mowers break down and they can't afford to fix them or buy a new one. When all we do is assume someone is too lazy to mow their lawn, we are treating people as we see them, and not for who they really are. We forget sometimes that God uses us to bless people, and when we are in a position of judging and scoffing, we can't be used for a place of blessing. We start seeing people as other obstacles instead of God-designed people who deserve compassion and kindness. 

What is it with those who are always "assuming the worst?" Are they doomed to be naysayers and negative about everything? Don't they also need compassion and kindness? I'd say the most ornery people probably need it the most! Matthew 7:12 So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets. Now, maybe the older gentleman wasn't scoffing at all, or he was just having a bad day at home. Maybe our young man's kindness of not saying anything rude back to him taught him something. We may never know. We really don't know the truth of anything. We assume without even getting more information. 

That's what assumptions do. Assumptions are dangerous and can really set us up to become very unkind and unhappy people. Ecclesiastes 10:13 Fools base their thoughts on foolish assumptions, so their conclusions will be wicked madness; they chatter on and on. When we look at someone's situation and assume we know something about it based on the little information we have, we reveal our own self-righteousness, pride, and bitterness. Such as it is with gossip. Gossip is nothing but malicious assumptions, and look where that leads. Someone begins to spread something about someone else, it gets repeated, and its sole purpose is for what? There is no healthy or Godly purpose for it! Ephesians 4:29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. Repeating or starting gossip serves no holy or redeemable purpose for anyone else. I don't care what we heard down at the local coffee shop. Disguised as "concern" or a "prayer request" does not dismiss the fact that information is being shared about a person who is not in the room. Proverbs 20:19 A gossip betrays a confidence; so avoid anyone who talks too much. When we turn to gossip and slander, we're showing people we can't be trusted with the things we share, and that we aren't concerned with building people up, but instead tearing them down. 

Psalm 101:5 Whoever slanders his neighbor in secret, him will I put in silence; whoever has haughty eyes and a proud heart, him will I not endure. We need to make sure that what we are sharing and the actions we take are honoring to God and His Word. We can always assume that God's way is the right way, but that's the only assumption that won't get us into some kind of trouble. Mark Twain said, "It is wiser to find out than to suppose." Wisdom takes a back seat when we assume we know better than everyone in the room. When we assume everyone thinks like us, and if they don't, they must be wrong. When we assume we're the only ones who know how to do anything right. When we assume we understand something when clearly we don't. When we assume anything as truth before we even ask! In other words, when we start standing in our foolish pride. When we fail to look for facts or communicate, we run a risk of believing all kinds of useless things. Even assuming the Bible says something that it doesn't say is wrong. One of my favorite pastors was my favorite because he taught us to always test what we were hearing against what is in the Word of God. We should apply this truth to everything we hear. 

Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves. Romans 12:9-10

The Bible tells us not to make assumptions, because it can lead to sin. When we are assuming, we are making judgments about others. How many posts have we all seen on social media, shaming someone for parking in a disabled parking place when they don't "seem" disabled? Or reacting harshly to a headline before even reading the whole story? We are living in a world chock full of assumptions–just watch the news or read the paper, scroll your social media. Everything has some kind of assumption built in by whoever is speaking or writing. We are commanded to honor others above ourselves, which does not include believing the worst of them or discussing their personal lives with other people. If we are willing to act in such a careless way with people, how then will we act with Jesus? We can't treat people with thoughtlessness, disdain and disregard, or even favoritism, and then think our relationship with or our worship of God is honest, pure, and true. Leviticus 19:15 "Do not pervert justice; do not show partiality to the poor or favoritism to the great, but judge your neighbor fairly. 

Assumptions can go in several different directions, can't they? We assume because we see a person in a trusted position doing or saying a certain thing, they must be elevated. Recent headlines in my community have revealed otherwise. We must never put our blind faith in human beings and assume they are without the ability to sin. If we assume anything, we can assume God's power, truth, perfection, and sovereignty over our lives. 1 Chronicles 29:11-13  Yours, O LORD, is the greatness and the power and the glory and the majesty and the splendor, for everything in heaven and earth is yours. Yours, O LORD, is the kingdom; you are exalted as head over all. Wealth and honor come from you; you are the ruler of all things. In your hands are strength and power to exalt and give strength to all. Now, our God, we give you thanks, and praise your glorious name. This is the prayer of David, who put his trust in the Lord, and not in the fleeing nature of the world. 

Making assumptions about people seems like the easy way out. If assumptions are made, the whole recommended "walk a mile in someone else's shoes" can be avoided. We can stick our noses up right past that long grass and assume people are just lazy, young, entitled, and don't care about anything. But if we really get to the root of that thinking, is that really the easiest way out? Judging people is a full time, fruitless job. Thinking the worst of people is baggage-hauling, ick producing, wrinkle-inducing, painstaking, heartbreaking labor. Matthew 7: 1-3 Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the same measure you use, it will be measured to you. Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? We are humans, made of fickle flesh. Oh, we have a tendency to judge, and some are even proud of it. There are TV shows on every channel with high ratings because of it. People are proud to say, "I can say whatever I want! I can do whatever I want!" Yes, we sure can. Galatians 5:16-17 So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature. For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature. They are in conflict with each other, so that you do not do what you want. We can also suffer the consequences, and many do and will. But this is not going to get us to a place where we can serve God or others or fulfill God's purpose for our lives. Micah 6:8 He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God. 

 Judging is a position best left for God to fill, and we can spend our time learning how to love people as He does. Philippians 2:3-4 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.  When I wrote a few weeks ago about self-awareness, this is where knowing ourselves comes in. Having a true perspective about who you are–neither putting ourselves down nor over-inflating ourselves–gives us the humility needed in order to give others the proper consideration and respect that Christ requires of us. When we do this, we won't be in a position of judging or assuming, because loving others will be natural and genuine. When we are humble, we can see the plights of others as our own. We see people as God sees them, and not higher or lower than ourselves. Ephesians 4:2 Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. 

How can we go about correcting the wrongs in our thinking and in what comes out of our mouths? Zechariah 4: 6 So he said to me, "This is the word of the LORD to Zerubbabel: 'Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit', says the LORD Almighty. When we choose to follow the Spirit of God, we can make lasting changes in our behavior and actions. I know that my thinking on certain things requires correction when I don't have peace in my spirit. When I am angry, hurt, lashing out at situations, or making assumptions that are not fair or based on loose information. It can be a vulnerable place of attack, but we can be prepared for these times by taking these feelings and situations to the Lord right away instead of acting on them. Even when I am correct in my assumptions, I can lose my peace because I fail to apply the teaching I mention here. I instead apply my hurt feelings, and it takes me down the path of pain and rejection instead. Nothing good can come from that. 

There will be times that our assumptions are correct and our hearts will be broken. People can do things that will cause us pain, without even trying. Think of this on an even greater scale. These are times for the Lord to care for us so that we don't end up in a position to sin–as people, as members of society, as a country. When we get caught up in assumptions, we are putting our own hurt feelings above believing the best of others. When we speak poorly of them, we are not being fair and merciful toward them. This is exactly the type of situation in which the enemy thrives, and we need to be mindful that we don't slip into these types of traps. 1 Peter 5:8 Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings. 

Getting people riled up and believing the worst of each other is a tactic of the enemy to divide churches, families, friends, coworkers, and nations. The enemy would have us believing people should be against each other, seeing each other as enemies, at war with each other, and that God doesn't care about us. But none of that is truth. Genesis 1:27 So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. This doesn't mean God created only some of the people in this world. He created them all. Psalm 46:10 "Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth." He is above all nations, not just the ones we are familiar and cozy with.  Isaiah 55:9 "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. We may not understand what He is doing, because we can't possibly comprehend His thoughts, but we can trust that what is happening will result in His purpose, whether we agree with it or not. Again, we can safely assume only that God is in control. 

Today's prayer: Holy Father, we thank You for being our Source of strength and our constant place of peace. We know that we need to lean on You daily to keep us from falling into the traps of judgment or making unfair assumptions about the lives of others. Help us to see people the way You see them and to give people the grace You so freely give us each day. Help us to listen to Your wisdom and to love others the way You command us to love them. In Jesus' name. Amen.