I woke up today and it felt like Monday all over again, only without the thunder and lightning. Maybe I should mention that my wake up call involved a heinous smell at 4am. A smell that my dear dog created, along with her cow patty sized present on the floor beside my bed. I dragged my zombie self out of bed, flashlight in hand. I've learned to keep a flashlight nearby for these events that are common in her elder dog years. It's either a flashlight or a pair of galoshes. Ya know?
I wadded up some tissue and carried her present as far from my nose as possible and flushed it with a vengeance, carrying the Lysol in my other hand. By then, I was wide awake. I couldn't get the smell out of my nose, let alone the room, and my dog went back to sleep. Lucky her. I tried to spray the Lysol quietly and strategically so as not to hit the dog or wake the hubby. Sigh. Thank God for Vicks Vaporub. Crime Scene Investigators use it, and so do I.
At least we made it to school on time and no one forgot anything. See, I remember to count my blessings. I do. There is exactly one.
I decided to make a tuna, lettuce, and tomato sandwich for lunch, in keeping with my so-called healthy eating plan. Another big sigh. I pulled out my trusty Pampered Chef can opener and went to town on my solid white albacore in water. Nope. It was not to be. I could not get my can opener to work for the first time ever! I pulled out my old cruddy standby opener, and it started to take part of the top off, leaving big solid attached pieces here and there. Great. I pulled out a sharp knife and started hammering at the attached sides, thinking all the while, "do I know how to get to the ER?" Okay, putting the knife away, I grabbed a fork and tried to pry the sides open to get the tuna out. Suddenly, the can flipped and landed face down in my utensil drawer. Oh, brother. I caught it as quickly as I could and tried in vain to get it open. Oh, geez. Now I'm not even hungry anymore!!
I should just stop there, really, and tell you that the key to any diet is to never be able to open your food source. But, eventually, I got part of the can open and was able to make my sammie. Unfortunately, the tuna can did not make it to the recycling bin, I couldn't rinse it properly, and so all day long all I smelled was tuna. And the memory of the cow patty. Together. Sigh.
I guess you could say I focus too much on the annoyances in my life, but really, it's just humorous to me. Just like the way Steve "fixed" the toilet in the girls' bathroom! He bejiggered or bedazzled something in the back of the stool and now,seriously, it sounds like an airplane taking off every time they flush!! We can't help but laugh, but seriously, one night I darn near flew out of bed, thinking we were under attack!
It's no wonder why my dear daughter said to me today, "Ya know, mom, you talk about poop a lot." Yeah, well, it's all I got right now, you little stinker. Get it? Stinker!
Have a nice day, friends!
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Monday, April 4, 2011
Just Another Manic Monday
Yawn.....I did that all day today, and you know why? Lightning. Snakes. Dying cell phones. Sophie. What a rough and sleepless night I had last night! Between the constant lightning, I was having bad dreams, then waking up to my dog trying to move around, and the "beep beep beep" of Steve's distant but dying cell phone. Ever have a night like that? Like sleep is some foreign concept to your body? Peace that never seems to come?
So, I basically slumped my way out of bed and nearly bumped into my own cup of coffee, which was being held out to me by my loving and knowing hubby. I think I mumbled a meek, "thank you" to him before I began throwing on some old running pants to wear in my mom bus on the way to school. The night before, I had taken a shower and I was so tired I didn't even comb my wet hair. It was a mess of waves and kinks this morning, and of course, I didn't have a stitch of makeup on. Luckily the dog remained asleep so I didn't have to deal with her first thing. All I wanted to do was get the kids to school, come home and try to wake up a little so I could get some things accomplished. Well, who do I think I am? A princess?
As I was pulling up to Natalie's school, the dreaded sentence came. "Mom, I think I forgot my gym clothes!!" The child was in a panic, as she always is when she forgets anything. "I'm gonna have to sit in the detention room!" Ugh. Here I go. All the way back home. Put on some makeup. Fix the hair. Find some clean jeans. (didn't happen) Hope the dog doesn't wake up and need to go out. (she did.) Fly (obeying all the laws, of course) back to the school, go inside, track her down, then go the nearly 10 miles all the way back home. Groan.
That would have been too easy, so I threw in a trip to the store for some laundry soap. I was out, of course, that's why I was wearing my cruddy old running pants in public. So, what happens? I had to go to the bathroom (from all that coffee), I looked awful (even after the primping), so why not run into an old friend, right? Well, I gotta say, I haven't seen this person in many many years, which was more than fine with me, so I did a bad thing. I stayed on my own side of the store and made a beeline for the register, getting out of there before this person spotted naughty ol' me! Actually, in my state of mind, I probably did him/ her a very big favor!
So, that was my Monday. Coulda been better. Coulda been worse. Just another crazy day in my unpredictable neighborhood!
So, I basically slumped my way out of bed and nearly bumped into my own cup of coffee, which was being held out to me by my loving and knowing hubby. I think I mumbled a meek, "thank you" to him before I began throwing on some old running pants to wear in my mom bus on the way to school. The night before, I had taken a shower and I was so tired I didn't even comb my wet hair. It was a mess of waves and kinks this morning, and of course, I didn't have a stitch of makeup on. Luckily the dog remained asleep so I didn't have to deal with her first thing. All I wanted to do was get the kids to school, come home and try to wake up a little so I could get some things accomplished. Well, who do I think I am? A princess?
As I was pulling up to Natalie's school, the dreaded sentence came. "Mom, I think I forgot my gym clothes!!" The child was in a panic, as she always is when she forgets anything. "I'm gonna have to sit in the detention room!" Ugh. Here I go. All the way back home. Put on some makeup. Fix the hair. Find some clean jeans. (didn't happen) Hope the dog doesn't wake up and need to go out. (she did.) Fly (obeying all the laws, of course) back to the school, go inside, track her down, then go the nearly 10 miles all the way back home. Groan.
That would have been too easy, so I threw in a trip to the store for some laundry soap. I was out, of course, that's why I was wearing my cruddy old running pants in public. So, what happens? I had to go to the bathroom (from all that coffee), I looked awful (even after the primping), so why not run into an old friend, right? Well, I gotta say, I haven't seen this person in many many years, which was more than fine with me, so I did a bad thing. I stayed on my own side of the store and made a beeline for the register, getting out of there before this person spotted naughty ol' me! Actually, in my state of mind, I probably did him/ her a very big favor!
So, that was my Monday. Coulda been better. Coulda been worse. Just another crazy day in my unpredictable neighborhood!
Friday, April 1, 2011
Four /One/ One One
It's April Fool's Day and you would expect a person like me to be too busy short-sheeting beds to stop and blog, right? Well, the joke is clearly on me. I woke up tired and a bit dumpy after a restless night. I had goofy dreams all night long, all because of a ridiculous incident during American Idol last night.
We're all sitting together on the couch and suddenly I see this bright spot of light flickering twice on the french doors in the kitchen. I did my customary, "DID YOU SEE THAT??" little number that I do so well. Steve and I jumped up and started flipping on lights and opening doors, trying to find the source of the light, which to me, was clearly a flashlight yielding intruder. I boldly swung open the front door, yelling, "Killer! Cujo! Get 'em!" Yup. Send the dobermans out. That usually works, right?
Satisfied that we had sufficiently interrupted our show, we sat back down and talked about what the light could be. We have a lot of windows and reflective spots in our house, so we figured maybe it was some flukey thing. Next thing I heard was a loud SLAM coming from the garage entrance area. "WHAT WAS THAT??" I jumped and yelled to Steve. He sat there for a minute. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING? GET OVER THERE AND SEE WHAT THAT WAS!"
"I will, geez, give me a second, will ya?" Was his approximate reply. I reminded him that his job is to protect us, so get out there and protect! "I am protecting you! I'm sitting right by you, right? Nothing can get you...I'M RIGHT HERE!"
"Well, get over THERE and protect me!" I said, probably not very politely. I won't say what he said after that, but let's just say he was doing his best to appease me, but it was not easy.
So, he checked the doors AGAIN, and found the source of the loud bang. Serena's backpack was hanging precariously from her hook, and her large notebook slid out of it onto the floor. Whew...that was a close one! I later tripped over the notebook on my way to the laundry room. "What? you couldn't even put it back?" Oh, whatever!
And that's the 411 on my 4 1 11. Have a fun and foolish one!
We're all sitting together on the couch and suddenly I see this bright spot of light flickering twice on the french doors in the kitchen. I did my customary, "DID YOU SEE THAT??" little number that I do so well. Steve and I jumped up and started flipping on lights and opening doors, trying to find the source of the light, which to me, was clearly a flashlight yielding intruder. I boldly swung open the front door, yelling, "Killer! Cujo! Get 'em!" Yup. Send the dobermans out. That usually works, right?
Satisfied that we had sufficiently interrupted our show, we sat back down and talked about what the light could be. We have a lot of windows and reflective spots in our house, so we figured maybe it was some flukey thing. Next thing I heard was a loud SLAM coming from the garage entrance area. "WHAT WAS THAT??" I jumped and yelled to Steve. He sat there for a minute. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING? GET OVER THERE AND SEE WHAT THAT WAS!"
"I will, geez, give me a second, will ya?" Was his approximate reply. I reminded him that his job is to protect us, so get out there and protect! "I am protecting you! I'm sitting right by you, right? Nothing can get you...I'M RIGHT HERE!"
"Well, get over THERE and protect me!" I said, probably not very politely. I won't say what he said after that, but let's just say he was doing his best to appease me, but it was not easy.
So, he checked the doors AGAIN, and found the source of the loud bang. Serena's backpack was hanging precariously from her hook, and her large notebook slid out of it onto the floor. Whew...that was a close one! I later tripped over the notebook on my way to the laundry room. "What? you couldn't even put it back?" Oh, whatever!
And that's the 411 on my 4 1 11. Have a fun and foolish one!