Steve and I took the girls in for their necessary vaccinations yesterday. This is not one of our favorite days, as Miss Natalie has pretty bad anxiety over getting shots. She always requests dad's presence, so for as long as she's been getting shots, Steve always comes for moral support. When we arrived, we were told that we had to wait until the doctor was in for the day. This meant waiting about 30 more minutes. So we found something else to do awhile, then went back in. When we arrived, 2 others were also getting vaccinations, which turned out to be the last 2 doses they had of one in particular! So, we waited another half hour to get 2 out of the 4 shots they needed. Nat seemed fine in the waiting room, though I know she was anxious.
They headed back, leaving me to wait in the waiting room. It seems they were back there forever, and so I read a bit, and watched people come and go. At one point I heard a loud crash, and pictured a drug rep dropping a big box of flomax, or some other weird-sounding drug.
Minutes after the crashing sound, the girls came back into the waiting room, Natalie being led by the nurse. "Well, mom, you've got a fainter!" she said with an uneasy smile. "And she hit her head on the desk on the way down, so we're watching for signs of a concussion." Smile gone. Crash sound identified! Not a box of drugs, but a box of my Natalie!
Apparently she said she felt a bit dizzy, and then she just dropped, hitting her head on the way down. It took awhile (probably just seconds) to bring her back around, but the nurse handled it expertly. Natalie woke up confused and laughing, saying "what's going on? This is so weird!"
She was still feeling a bit whoozy in the waiting room, almost having another fainting episode. Her blood pressure dipped way down and she broke out into a hot clammy sweat! Her face was completely white and she seemed a bit confused.
Obviously her anxiety over the shots had been building up not just for days, but for years! Apparently, she remembered me telling her years ago that she'd have to have more shots in 5 years. She admitted that every birthday, she'd panic, knowing she was closer to getting those dreaded shots! Funny thing is, the shots don't even hurt! She said it herself. It's just the idea of it all, I guess. The poor kid just worried herself silly and after it was done, she just let go.
She's fine now and has no signs of a concussion, just a bit sore from the fall. We told her we were changing her name from "Natalie Faith" to "Natalie Faint". That got a big smile out of her! The bad news is, we're on a waiting list for the last 2 shots. We have to go back!! How I will ever get grandchildren out of her, I will never know! :)
We followed our day with lunch and school shopping, which seemed to make us all feel a bit better about the day.
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Monday, August 29, 2011
Future Flyer
I'm not just a mom. I figured it out. I'm a life coach. Although my own life could use some attention, tweaking, and improving, my role lately is to coach the lives of my daughters.
Natalie's primary interest (besides fashion, of course) is music. The girl has a guitar in her hand for at least a couple hours a day. She's learning some new song, improving her voice, and, as she puts it, "trying to make her fingers bleed". We encourage her in every possible way. She is learning about famous guitarists, music styles, different genres, and the different types of music equipment. She's learning to push her voice a bit, and finding her pitch. It has been a joy to sit in my own house and be treated to a concert nearly every night. Serena knows how to harmonize, and will jump in with her sweet voice or rhythym.
Serena's primary interest has always been writing. She learned to read at a very early age, and naturally, she learned to write early as well. Her kindergarten teacher had her writing and publishing her own stories while the rest of the class learned to read. As she's gotten older, her writing has changed, and so we've been working on writing skills. Today we spent a whole afternoon outside with a table and chairs in the shade, working on one of her stories. It was a bit strained at first, as she handed me her story premise. I simply stated the title, then reiterated what I thought the story was about. She immediately got defensive and frustrated. Whoa! When I calmly asked her where that was coming from, she said, "I've never shared these stories with anyone." Okay, she's protective of her work, but mostly of her fragile ego. She wasn't ready to hear any criticism, and I had to assure her that I had none for her anyway! Okay, she's a typical sensitive artsy type. Well noted.
On other days, the girls and I work on fashion and hair tips, usually with me french braiding so they can have "kinky" hair. I help put outfits together, using their style, not mine. I help clear up acne, snuff out cramps, find the best shampoo for unruly hair, cure nosebleeds, pre-watch every movie they request, and help them with sticky social situations.
I teach them about God, Jesus, and the Bible. I remind them of our family values, and help them to follow them through. I show them how to serve a volleyball, a tennis ball, and hang clothes on the line. I show them how to fold a tee shirt, can tomatoes, and cook various things. I give them short cuts on chores, and help them budget money. I show them the proper way to do a pushup, the best way to get a stain out, and how to answer the phone politely.
And back to me....while I try to sort out what it is I even know how to do anymore, I will be empowering my girls to do it all. While I will wonder what would have happened had I been able to finish college, I will be helping them to pick out schools and majors. And in the middle of it all, somewhere, I will have to find a way to sprout some of my own wings so I will have some flying to do when they leave my nest, wings strong and intact.
Mom. Life coach, and future flyer....well, let's hope.
Natalie's primary interest (besides fashion, of course) is music. The girl has a guitar in her hand for at least a couple hours a day. She's learning some new song, improving her voice, and, as she puts it, "trying to make her fingers bleed". We encourage her in every possible way. She is learning about famous guitarists, music styles, different genres, and the different types of music equipment. She's learning to push her voice a bit, and finding her pitch. It has been a joy to sit in my own house and be treated to a concert nearly every night. Serena knows how to harmonize, and will jump in with her sweet voice or rhythym.
Serena's primary interest has always been writing. She learned to read at a very early age, and naturally, she learned to write early as well. Her kindergarten teacher had her writing and publishing her own stories while the rest of the class learned to read. As she's gotten older, her writing has changed, and so we've been working on writing skills. Today we spent a whole afternoon outside with a table and chairs in the shade, working on one of her stories. It was a bit strained at first, as she handed me her story premise. I simply stated the title, then reiterated what I thought the story was about. She immediately got defensive and frustrated. Whoa! When I calmly asked her where that was coming from, she said, "I've never shared these stories with anyone." Okay, she's protective of her work, but mostly of her fragile ego. She wasn't ready to hear any criticism, and I had to assure her that I had none for her anyway! Okay, she's a typical sensitive artsy type. Well noted.
On other days, the girls and I work on fashion and hair tips, usually with me french braiding so they can have "kinky" hair. I help put outfits together, using their style, not mine. I help clear up acne, snuff out cramps, find the best shampoo for unruly hair, cure nosebleeds, pre-watch every movie they request, and help them with sticky social situations.
I teach them about God, Jesus, and the Bible. I remind them of our family values, and help them to follow them through. I show them how to serve a volleyball, a tennis ball, and hang clothes on the line. I show them how to fold a tee shirt, can tomatoes, and cook various things. I give them short cuts on chores, and help them budget money. I show them the proper way to do a pushup, the best way to get a stain out, and how to answer the phone politely.
And back to me....while I try to sort out what it is I even know how to do anymore, I will be empowering my girls to do it all. While I will wonder what would have happened had I been able to finish college, I will be helping them to pick out schools and majors. And in the middle of it all, somewhere, I will have to find a way to sprout some of my own wings so I will have some flying to do when they leave my nest, wings strong and intact.
Mom. Life coach, and future flyer....well, let's hope.
Friday, August 26, 2011
The Making of a Strong Girl
After a recent "turn the other cheek" episode in Serena's life, we've been addressing some hot-button issues regarding friendships. We've struggled with friendship issues since about 1st grade, sadly. It seems some girls want to have only one friend, and some of those girls want to be friends with Serena. Only problem is, Serena likes to have many friends. Next problem, her friends like her, but not each other. They gossip about each other, getting mad at Serena when she doesn't join in. It's been a roller coaster, to say the least.
So, she's in a classic "friend in the middle" situation, and it drives her insane. She seems to get pulled in many directions, not knowing how to handle the emotions around her, let alone her own. She feels she has to be responsible for how everyone feels, yet she's hurting too. She takes the blame where there is none, just to keep the peace. Is she a saint? Of course not, but one thing I know about her is she just wants everyone to be happy and get along.
I realize that I can't fix everything for her, so I have had many conversations with Serena about trusting her to do what's right. She knows I won't (God forbid, but moms do this) call the other moms and make their daughters behave! She knows I won't swoop in and rescue her or speak for her. She does know that I have every confidence that she can be who God designed her to be, whether her friends (or their mothers) like it or not. She knows that this is temporary. That one day she will find a friend who accepts her for who she is. Who doesn't try to pull her down. Who respects her desire to be a Christian. Who is just kind and fair and gentle with her. Just like she wants to be right back.
I reminded her that some of my best friends today are NOT the friends I went to school with (although I have kept in touch with one special friend from high school). I have Patty, who was 2 years older, and several friends who are both older and younger. None from my class anymore! This put perspective on it for Serena, who of course, thinks nothing will ever change. I reminded her that some of her best friends may just come from church. There are several really good girls in the grade below her at church, and I'm hoping (as is she) that those friendships will grow in time.
Serena and I also talked about making this final year of Elementary school the very best ever. To be the best student she can be. To make a new friend (her grade or otherwise), to do the best on all her projects, and to set goals for herself. I feel that if she is focused on her studies, she won't have time to hear all the blabber going on around her. Or if she does hear it, she'll have the strength to tune it out. Those are my wishes for her. Those have been my prayers for her these past few years.
And to think, school used to be about school! I know that all of the drama has distracted her the past couple of years. I find it interesting that kids these days aren't allowed to figure out their own problems anymore. It's like moms want to be on the playground, orchestrating everything. It's no wonder that the girls don't know how to act sometimes. I think it's sad. If they would spend that time being encouraging, maybe those girls would change. Maybe the confidence would come from within and it just might turn out okay with the daughter in control. Just my thoughts, opinions, and judgements, I guess.
I just want my daughter to be able to handle what comes her way. I can't always be there. I can't always whisper the answer in her ear. I have to trust her with herself because that's what's best for her in the long run. Frustrating? Yes. Especially when I see her do the right thing, and she doesn't experience satisfaction or reward. With kids, that's what they expect. Not so in life, I remind her. Doing the right thing rarely comes with an immediate reward!
And, I ask her, "where do our rewards come from?" She answers, as always, "God."
Amen.
So, she's in a classic "friend in the middle" situation, and it drives her insane. She seems to get pulled in many directions, not knowing how to handle the emotions around her, let alone her own. She feels she has to be responsible for how everyone feels, yet she's hurting too. She takes the blame where there is none, just to keep the peace. Is she a saint? Of course not, but one thing I know about her is she just wants everyone to be happy and get along.
I realize that I can't fix everything for her, so I have had many conversations with Serena about trusting her to do what's right. She knows I won't (God forbid, but moms do this) call the other moms and make their daughters behave! She knows I won't swoop in and rescue her or speak for her. She does know that I have every confidence that she can be who God designed her to be, whether her friends (or their mothers) like it or not. She knows that this is temporary. That one day she will find a friend who accepts her for who she is. Who doesn't try to pull her down. Who respects her desire to be a Christian. Who is just kind and fair and gentle with her. Just like she wants to be right back.
I reminded her that some of my best friends today are NOT the friends I went to school with (although I have kept in touch with one special friend from high school). I have Patty, who was 2 years older, and several friends who are both older and younger. None from my class anymore! This put perspective on it for Serena, who of course, thinks nothing will ever change. I reminded her that some of her best friends may just come from church. There are several really good girls in the grade below her at church, and I'm hoping (as is she) that those friendships will grow in time.
Serena and I also talked about making this final year of Elementary school the very best ever. To be the best student she can be. To make a new friend (her grade or otherwise), to do the best on all her projects, and to set goals for herself. I feel that if she is focused on her studies, she won't have time to hear all the blabber going on around her. Or if she does hear it, she'll have the strength to tune it out. Those are my wishes for her. Those have been my prayers for her these past few years.
And to think, school used to be about school! I know that all of the drama has distracted her the past couple of years. I find it interesting that kids these days aren't allowed to figure out their own problems anymore. It's like moms want to be on the playground, orchestrating everything. It's no wonder that the girls don't know how to act sometimes. I think it's sad. If they would spend that time being encouraging, maybe those girls would change. Maybe the confidence would come from within and it just might turn out okay with the daughter in control. Just my thoughts, opinions, and judgements, I guess.
I just want my daughter to be able to handle what comes her way. I can't always be there. I can't always whisper the answer in her ear. I have to trust her with herself because that's what's best for her in the long run. Frustrating? Yes. Especially when I see her do the right thing, and she doesn't experience satisfaction or reward. With kids, that's what they expect. Not so in life, I remind her. Doing the right thing rarely comes with an immediate reward!
And, I ask her, "where do our rewards come from?" She answers, as always, "God."
Amen.