My "Babies"

So Sweet!

If You Feel It, Feel It!

I learn a lot from my daughters. Today was another lesson from my 12 year old. Serena is an aspiring writer, and has been writing for as long as she could hold a pencil. I know I'm her mom, but she really does have talent. She has a mature voice not common for her age. She uses details and emotions that floor me. Her english teacher has been out for over a month, as her husband passed away unexpectedly. At Serena's graduation, this teacher sought me out and returned a binder full of story ideas that Serena had given her to critique. Apparently she has had this binder for most of the year. I wasn't aware that she had given it to her at all. I didn't read any of the critiques until Serena had a chance to read them herself. She "smiley-faced" many of her clever lines and story ideas, and added a wonderful uplifting letter. Apparently having Serena's binder helped her to escape some of the heavy sadness she has been carrying since her husband's death. But that's not why I learned a lesson, although there is one there as well. I was recently hurt by a shallow comment I heard, given flippantly to me, while I was feeling a deep loss. I thought to myself, "How can someone be so shallow?" I tried not to judge the comment, but you know, whether you judge or not doesn't stop the sting of a careless word. I've said careless words myself. I know both ends of that spectrum. It's like the time Serena told a friend that her aging dog was very slow and feeble, and her friend said flippantly, "why don't you just have her put down?" as if it was saying, "what kind of cereal do you want?" See, Serena and I are of the sensitive kind. We take things to heart. The one we sometimes wear on our sleeves! We feel things deeply, and sometimes longer than others feel them. We tend to romanticize a bit more about certain things. We have vivid imaginations. We love to create stories impulsively. We get our feelings hurt faster than the other two in this house! We forgive slower. We maybe even love a bit harder than most because when we love, we really mean it! When someone is hurting, we really feel it! We put their shoes on and try to walk in them. So when we express a feeling and someone dismisses it or doesn't get it, yeah, it stings. Truly, thank God we have each other! I used to think that being sensitive was a handicap. I used to downplay my feelings so no one knew I had them. All that did was make me angry. Serena went through a time of anger as well, trying to hold it all in and hold it together. Trying not to let people bother her. Try as we may, it bothers! I now see our shared sensitivity as a gift. Where others sometimes go through life with a more non-chalant, carefree spirit, we're being used to help each other and other sensitive spirits. There's also a fine line between sensitive and over-sensitive, and we walk that sometimes. The benefit is that we recognize it in others and know how best to respond to respect the way they feel. It's really all people want! To be understood or at least a showing that even though you don't feel that way or you've maybe never felt that way, that you care that they do. So what's the lesson? Serena reminded me that all good writers are probably emotional rollercoasters! How else could they write so much about so many feelings and situations? They can relate to all kinds of people because of their sensitivity! Yes, my daughter, the writer, you are right again!

Where is Unity?

The word "unity" has been on my mind for a long time. When I say a long time, I mean about 6 years. It came about at a time of disunity not only in my extended family but in my home church. What I have come to learn in the past 6 years is where true unity exists. I'm not going to go all philosophical on you, because truthfully, I don't have it in me right now. I've learned that unity can be a feeling, not a reality. Where you think unity exists, actually it can be a facade. A relationship that you've nurtured, only to find you've been deceived, betrayed, and lied to. A family member who you've reached out to countless times who still treats you like a stranger. You believe people in church when they hug you and say they care. Well, at least you want to believe that. Until they don't care anymore. Or you don't care anymore because the "unity" is only good on Sundays. My unity? My relationship with God, even on a bad day is the best, most reliable, most significant, most rewarding relationship I have that cannot be broken. Cannot. My relationship with my husband, my best friend, my rock. Honest. Loving. Kind. A real friend. A real person. He has my back. We're unified. Nothing can get in between. My girls. We are three, all of us together, bound by love and an endless commitment to each other. Time may take them away, but we will always be unified. Forever. My parents. Unity. Maybe of the best kind, because without them, I wouldn't be here. Or, as I like to say, I'd be someone else. So it's no surprise to me that true unity exists where you most expect it--at home. Not at work,not at church, not on your team, not at school, not in your best friendship, but at home with your family, and most of all, with God. Wherever I go, I think of that word. Do I just feel disunity, or does it really exist? Am I doing anything to promote unity or am I part of the problem? Imagine if everyone thought that way. Maybe I wouldn't be as disappointed as I am right now, writing this, thinking of those who must pleasure in breaking others down and causing things to break. Not thinking of how they affect others. Maybe not caring. The ripple effect of disunity is farther than people can even imagine. But the ripple effect of unity. Now there's something unbreakable. You'd think we'd all strive for that. But we don't. And I wish I knew why we let the enemy take it from us without a fight. Sorry for the dark words today, but that's exactly what disunity does. It rips into your soul and breaks your heart. And it allows evil to prevail if you let it. Truly, that is the goal of our enemy, to use others to break us down until we give up. I'm not giving up, but I may be looking to change where I've been searching for unity from now on. I guess I'll be home for awhile. Peace to you.