I just don't know how to sum up the Christmas season. It was so busy and full that I just don't know where I'd start. We saw many people over the course of a week, having had 3 major family gatherings in a matter of days. We celebrated a birthday (Serena's), and exerienced a death in the family (my dad's sister).
It's no wonder that I felt that all my gears were stuck in overdrive. I had so many things to do, so many places to be, that I just froze in place, a big ball of frustration. I was trying to perform miracles, at least that's how it felt to me. When did Christmas begin to feel like I am trying to climb a mountain wearing only slippers? I wish it didn't feel that way, because the spiritual side of me loves Christmas. The rest of me isn't so sold on all the hoopla.
What I want from Christmas and what I actually experience are often total polar opposites. We chose to opt out of one of the family gift exchanges this year. It just wasn't good for us financially to participate, knowing we were trying very hard to go "credit card free" this year. Knowing we were already cutting down on our own kids, knowing we don't even buy gifts for each other. Made good sense to us. Well, it would just be nice to be understood, knowing that we are the only single income family there. Maybe that bothers me more, knowing that after all this time, they still don't understand/respect my choice to be home to raise my girls. Yep. I am the black sheep in that family.
Yes, sometimes holidays just magnify the hurts that are already there. In some cases, of course. We did have some fun visiting with our down state nephews and our two great nieces just yesterday. I think the boys would love to stay with us longer, and we would love it too. It's so hard to leave after having so much fun with them. I made chocolate chip whoopie pies and I am now back in first place where aunts are concerned. (not that it matters, right?)
Our gifts to our parents this year were anything but simple. We typed up some "kindness koupons", which consisted of various tasks we as a family are willing to do for them. I just can't wait to wash my mother in law's windows!! :) I gave my sister several of my treasured recipes and a certificate for a "hot homemade meal of your choice delivered to your door". She was pretty excited about that. We printed out several pictures of my parents and my girls to give my siblings. We also gave out our homemade salsa verde we worked so hard on this fall.
I found myself humming a Christmas song over and over these past few weeks..."Where can I find Christmas?" I think I spent a lot of time looking even though I know where it is. I spent a lot of time worrying, though I know that's not where it is. I looked at a lot of lights, heard a lot of music, sent and received some cards, and wrapped gifts. It just wasn't in any of those things, though some were enjoyable. I know now that no matter what is going on at Christmas and no matter what anyone thinks of our choices, we have to keep Christ in the heart of our Christmas or it just isn't worth it at all. And letting anything get in the way of the Real Reason we celebrate takes away the joy in our hearts.
So, I hope Christ was in your Christmas and I hope you follow Him into the New Year.
Friday, December 30, 2011
Sunday, December 18, 2011
Wonder Bread
My dad's birthday was Friday, and I was a bit perplexed as to what to get him. Finances have been a bit tight lately, as they are every December, so I couldn't just go buy whatever I wanted to buy this time. The truth is, my dad just doesn't need or want anything. Well, isn't that easy for the rest of us? So, I knew whatever I gave him would be homemade and I had one day to do it. I prayed...God, I just need some ideas. Anything!" Well, God is so much quicker than Zappos! He led me to my computer, into my pictures files, and I started scrolling around. To my excitement, I came across some pictures that screamed, "BIRTHDAY GIFT FOR GRANDPA!"
My dad enjoys baking homemade bread, and loves to bless others with these heavenly loaves. We get blessed with them quite often, and they don't last very long at all. Natalie and Serena can polish one off in just a couple of days! One day I brought home a loaf for them and had it sitting on the counter when they arrived home from school. Serena grabbed the bread knife and got to work cutting off some huge hunks for herself. Natalie got a little spark in her eye and as they say in a brawl...it was ON! Nat grabbed the loaf from Serena and as Serena fought back, Natalie pushed her hand right into Serena's face. Serena put up a valiant fight and soon the kitchen was filled with giggling and bread crumbs! Well, guess what mom was doing the whole time this was happening? You guessed it. I was snapping pictures! It was hilarious to watch these two go all WWF over a loaf of bread!
So as I scrolled through my pictures, these popped up and immediately I got the idea to "do something with these". Thank you, Lord for a great idea! When I took those pictures, I had no plans for them at all! In fact, I had forgotten about them altogether.
I got to work printing off 9 wallets of the actual loaf of bread, pictures of the "fighting", and then the eventual face-stuffing they enjoyed at the end. I arranged them in an 8 X 10 picture frame, using some scrapbook paper and trims I had around the house. I then added a poem in the center... a clever little ditty, and it went a little something like this:
Grandpa's bread is worth the fight
Each and every delicious bite
In the end, we both win
And wait for Grandpa to bake again!
"natalie and Serena's bread fight"
I framed it in a very inexpensive, on-sale frame and wrapped it for my pops. When he opened it, he was speechless! He said there was no better gift than that! And my mom, who is pretty picky about her home decor, actually hung it right in the kitchen...and it matches nothing in there! Wow. :)
I love the metaphors and references of bread in the Bible, and the fact that Jesus multiplied the loaves to feed thousands. But to see him use my bread photos to help me and to bless my dad. Now come on, that's pretty cool when you think about it!
My dad enjoys baking homemade bread, and loves to bless others with these heavenly loaves. We get blessed with them quite often, and they don't last very long at all. Natalie and Serena can polish one off in just a couple of days! One day I brought home a loaf for them and had it sitting on the counter when they arrived home from school. Serena grabbed the bread knife and got to work cutting off some huge hunks for herself. Natalie got a little spark in her eye and as they say in a brawl...it was ON! Nat grabbed the loaf from Serena and as Serena fought back, Natalie pushed her hand right into Serena's face. Serena put up a valiant fight and soon the kitchen was filled with giggling and bread crumbs! Well, guess what mom was doing the whole time this was happening? You guessed it. I was snapping pictures! It was hilarious to watch these two go all WWF over a loaf of bread!
So as I scrolled through my pictures, these popped up and immediately I got the idea to "do something with these". Thank you, Lord for a great idea! When I took those pictures, I had no plans for them at all! In fact, I had forgotten about them altogether.
I got to work printing off 9 wallets of the actual loaf of bread, pictures of the "fighting", and then the eventual face-stuffing they enjoyed at the end. I arranged them in an 8 X 10 picture frame, using some scrapbook paper and trims I had around the house. I then added a poem in the center... a clever little ditty, and it went a little something like this:
Grandpa's bread is worth the fight
Each and every delicious bite
In the end, we both win
And wait for Grandpa to bake again!
"natalie and Serena's bread fight"
I framed it in a very inexpensive, on-sale frame and wrapped it for my pops. When he opened it, he was speechless! He said there was no better gift than that! And my mom, who is pretty picky about her home decor, actually hung it right in the kitchen...and it matches nothing in there! Wow. :)
I love the metaphors and references of bread in the Bible, and the fact that Jesus multiplied the loaves to feed thousands. But to see him use my bread photos to help me and to bless my dad. Now come on, that's pretty cool when you think about it!
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
Back When
Some days I like to forget I'm a mom of a tween and a teen. Especially at Christmas time, I like to imagine my girls are 3 and 5 again. That's when Christmas really came alive for them. It's when they started to understand Jesus,and when they were able to frost cookies! I loved putting their little aprons on and letting them frost and decorate the sugar cookies. I have many pictures of cookies with mounds of frosting and tons of colored sugar, and big frosting covered grins! We also did gingerbread houses each year. Most of the candy got eaten before it got attached! I loved the wonder in their eyes as they experienced Christmas on every level. The mall Santa, the church programs, the family gatherings, the toys, and the extra fun we all had just because they were with us.
That's back when opening presents was a loud, crazy, messy occasion. Back when they drank their milk from cute little santa cups. Back when they sat in the little teddy bear chair to have their picture taken in front of the tree they got to help decorate. Oh, back when...where are you?
Are you now feeling frustrated that your little ones are into everything? Are they fighting over toys or refusing to eat their peas? Are they challenging you over bedtime or leaving snot prints everywhere on the windows? If so, then listen to me when I say this, and hear it good. ENJOY. For too soon, these days are gone. One day you will wish for snotty little noses to burrow into your good sweater. One day you will wonder if you spent enough time frosting cookies with them. One day you will miss this.
We love our girls, for sure, but as they get older, the wonder seems to seep out of them. They are busy with many other things, and their lives aren't just about us anymore. Kids just grow up. There's no stoppin' them once they start! Though my girls love Christmas and all the fuss, they chose not to help decorate the tree this year. Not because they were too busy, but because they had already decorated three trees for their grandparents, and were tired of decorating. Sigh. I did it by myself, and though Nat visited with me while I decorated, it just wasn't that exciting for me at all. I can't believe I miss the days that they hung all of the ornaments at their eye level! It used to drive me crazy, and I just couldn't leave them all there! Oh, how I miss that now.
You may think I'm just a big ole nostalgic mess. Well, I can be. I do revisit the memories quite often. I find it to be a healthy way to keep them alive. Not to dwell and wish for them back, but to truly remind myself not to take the present days for granted. Not to take the present people for granted. To remember that each age has its special wonder of its own.
Christmas can be a tough time, for when we think of Christmas, we're automatically transported back in time. We think of being kids and we remember who was there and what they contributed. If they're no longer with us, Christmas can be a lonely feeling. Though we know about the Babe in the manger, we still long for the grandma, the uncle, or whoever isn't there. Christmas is love!
So this Christmas, instead of thinking about what you don't have, think about what someone else is missing, or who someone else may be missing. Think about what you can do to help someone who is lonely. Maybe they're like me and they're just lonely for their little ones. Take your kids over and visit awhile!
As for me, I will still be decorating cookies with the girls for our annual tradition. Funny thing is, we can no longer tell the difference between my cookies and theirs! Some things don't change though, they still don't like to clean up the mess!
Merry Christmas to you and yours!
That's back when opening presents was a loud, crazy, messy occasion. Back when they drank their milk from cute little santa cups. Back when they sat in the little teddy bear chair to have their picture taken in front of the tree they got to help decorate. Oh, back when...where are you?
Are you now feeling frustrated that your little ones are into everything? Are they fighting over toys or refusing to eat their peas? Are they challenging you over bedtime or leaving snot prints everywhere on the windows? If so, then listen to me when I say this, and hear it good. ENJOY. For too soon, these days are gone. One day you will wish for snotty little noses to burrow into your good sweater. One day you will wonder if you spent enough time frosting cookies with them. One day you will miss this.
We love our girls, for sure, but as they get older, the wonder seems to seep out of them. They are busy with many other things, and their lives aren't just about us anymore. Kids just grow up. There's no stoppin' them once they start! Though my girls love Christmas and all the fuss, they chose not to help decorate the tree this year. Not because they were too busy, but because they had already decorated three trees for their grandparents, and were tired of decorating. Sigh. I did it by myself, and though Nat visited with me while I decorated, it just wasn't that exciting for me at all. I can't believe I miss the days that they hung all of the ornaments at their eye level! It used to drive me crazy, and I just couldn't leave them all there! Oh, how I miss that now.
You may think I'm just a big ole nostalgic mess. Well, I can be. I do revisit the memories quite often. I find it to be a healthy way to keep them alive. Not to dwell and wish for them back, but to truly remind myself not to take the present days for granted. Not to take the present people for granted. To remember that each age has its special wonder of its own.
Christmas can be a tough time, for when we think of Christmas, we're automatically transported back in time. We think of being kids and we remember who was there and what they contributed. If they're no longer with us, Christmas can be a lonely feeling. Though we know about the Babe in the manger, we still long for the grandma, the uncle, or whoever isn't there. Christmas is love!
So this Christmas, instead of thinking about what you don't have, think about what someone else is missing, or who someone else may be missing. Think about what you can do to help someone who is lonely. Maybe they're like me and they're just lonely for their little ones. Take your kids over and visit awhile!
As for me, I will still be decorating cookies with the girls for our annual tradition. Funny thing is, we can no longer tell the difference between my cookies and theirs! Some things don't change though, they still don't like to clean up the mess!
Merry Christmas to you and yours!