"It is admirable for a man to take his son fishing, but there is a special place in heaven for the father who takes his daughter shopping."
My dad certainly never offered to take me shopping. That was my mom's job! Steve's dad probably never took any of his sisters shopping either. Maybe they were too busy working non-stop, I don't know. More likely, they never thought it was important. Oh, but it is. Take it from this daughter.
Steve loves to hunt, fish, watch sports, and all that other "guy" stuff. You'd think "too bad he didn't get a son". Well, I used to feel bad about that until I saw him with our daughters. They love to hunt and fish with dad, though watching sports on tv may never happen with them. But even if they didn't enjoy those things, Steve has found a way to include himself in their lives. He knows all about their favorite shows, even going as far to laugh at i-Carley (which I can't stand!) with them. He engages them in whatever he is doing, although they don't think taking out the trash is all that much fun. Just last weekend, he and Serena geared up to go shoot with the 22. Serena hit a couple trees (oops), and brought back a leaf with a hole shot right through the center. Daddy did that, and was she proud!
When they were little, he used to play their little girl games: tea party (pinkies up!), and the princess games where you have to keep your tiara on. Sorry, Steve, I just took you off the "cool throne" on that one. The important thing is, Daddy is cool to those girls! Though he can't possibly relate to all the workings of a girl's mind (please, he's married to me!), he puts forth a valiant effort to stay involved. Yes, that includes shopping with them. He has been in many clothing departments with them, helping them pick out clothes and being happy for them when they find what they want. When they were younger, he wanted them to have pretty coats for church, and went and bought them the most beautiful brown fuzzy coats. They looked like little dolls wearing them, and he just beamed. I kinda beamed too. :)
Every little girl has a hero, and most will tell you it's their dad. Little girls say they are going to marry daddy when they grow up. Mine went from saying that to telling me they want to marry someone just like daddy one day. And though my dad never took me shopping or shooting or any of those things, I did know he loved me, and for him, it was the best he could do with what he knew. I married someone with my dad's values, and it worked out pretty well, even without the shopping!
Dads need to understand just how influential they are. From early on, I encouraged Steve to tell his girls they are beautiful, be there for them, talk to them about everything, yes, everything, and they will always talk to you. Don't be afraid to get personal with them, they need that from a male figure! They need to compare every sweaty, pimply-faced boy with their dad and ask if he is worthy to fill those shoes. Girls need to get their love and attention from dad, and chances are, they won't need to seek it in dark places with boys who don't care.
Dads are such a blessing in a girl's life and I hope they really know how much they are needed. I know it "emasculates" some men to have to wear a tiara or have an occasional fingernail painted pink, but to girls it says, "You want to be in my world and I need you there". I think some of the best dads are those with daughters, because they are stretched to be more than who they thought they could become.
Yes, we daughters make those men better men! :) And to dads who shop or put their pinkies up or make deliberate attempts to spend time with their girls, you rock! Keep on rocking, and keep on loving those future well-adjusted, loving women who will one day marry someone just like you.
1 comment:
Way to go Steve! I loved being with my dad growing up. It wass so much fun tagging along with him.
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