Electric Empathy: It's a Powerful Thing

 "When two people relate to each other authentically and humanly, God is the electricity that surges between them." 

Brene Brown, author and speaker

Electricity. What a profound way to describe a conversation between people relating to one another in a way that God is "in it". God is powerful, and can provide amazing "connectivity" that no one else can, if allowed to be a part of our relationships. 

One "electrical God-like" quality I have found to be necessary and crucial for any relationship to succeed, at least in my life, is empathy. It is said and believed that we can't have oneness with people or group unity if we don't have empathy and understanding. 

If you are empathetic toward others, you simply are able to feel what they are feeling, which is great, because that automatically means you are neither a psychopath or a sociopath! It also means you have the ability to love, have compassion, feel tenderness, and you are most likely a polite and hopefully a considerate human being. "Put yourself in my shoes, walk awhile, walk that mile for me, I'll put myself in your shoes, maybe then we'd see...", as Clint Black sings in his old country song. 

I hear a lot about "unity" and how to achieve it as a nation, a country, and sometimes as a government, but I think we can start smaller than that, and in fact, we need to start smaller than that. It starts with one person being willing to understand another person, maybe take a "walk in their shoes". Notice I didn't say "agree". You can attempt to understand (extend compassion or consideration) without ever agreeing. The problem is empathy often doesn't start at home, and people who grow up without God or learning how to "do unto others as you'd have done unto you" won't recognize the need for either one as they grow and develop. But idealistic me wants to believe that no one is a "lost cause", and God can change anyone at anytime in their lives, and being an empathetic person is more valuable than being a reactive one to the kind of chaos certain people deliver. 

I'll bring up my "wayward" friend again, as all of my efforts to communicate effectively failed, but they were valiant efforts, at least in my opinion. I really tried understanding here, and with this person, I wanted to see past the obvious differences that were presenting as "political", and try to see the person I once knew. I wanted to remember who this person was, what the upbringing may have entailed, what kind of situation they were in right at this moment, what kind of relationship skills this person had and how they learned them, what is important to them and why, how this person feels, and why they feel so strongly. In a word, I analyzed, yes. But to me, I empathized. I tried in vain to apply Romans 12:15 Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep. 

What I didn't realize is that our efforts toward unity can be stamped with a permanent black ink stamp that says DENIED. There truly are people who will not return your efforts and will not see it as understanding or compassion, no matter how you present yourself, and at that point, it's fine to go share your love elsewhere! Someone needs it, somewhere. That I can promise you! 

While empathy is not a word found in the Bible, it is what God calls us to do, because He asks us to have compassion on others. He asks us to take that love we feel toward others, see their needs, hear them, be moved with compassion and act on it with service. He knows that our efforts will not always yield a mutual understanding or acceptance. But we have to believe that our efforts are seen by Him, and God knows exactly what it feels like to extend love and compassion and be met with indifference, rejection, and worse.

We do not have a High Priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses. 

Hebrews 4:15 

God knows exactly how I felt and He knows exactly how my friend felt because He experienced it all in human form as Jesus. He also knows how many tears we've cried in sadness and frustration. Record my lament; list my tears on your scroll-are they not in your record? Psalm 56:8  God didn't have to "agree" with either one of us to know how we felt and to extend loving kindness to us. 

He also gives us an empathetic shoulder- 

Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

1 Peter 5:7 

And when overcome with grief himself at the death of his friend, even knowing He would bring him back to life- Jesus wept. John 11:35

All of these things and so many more are expressions of the love and compassion that God has for us. We don't need to get hung up on the less-than-shiny actions of people so much when we know we can always turn to God for what we need. My friend was rude to me, and probably thought I was out of line too. God would honor both of our hearts. That is the wonderful thing about empathy, and God's is the most divine. 

We are asked to be "like-minded" in Philippians 2:2. Not our minds thinking as one, all agreeing and leading to a worldly unity, but the mind of Christ, and being one in Spirit.  

If any of you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. 

Philippians 2:2

I enjoyed a "like-minded" conversation yesterday with my oldest and dearest friend from my childhood. We relate "authentically and humanly", and I'm always inviting God into the conversation! She's open-minded and accepting of me and I don't have to worry that something I say is going to send her running off into the hills and vice versa. It's a wonderful comfort to know that people like her still exist. I have very few people like this in my life, I always say. I can count them on one hand. And the wonderful thing is, we don't have to ever agree on everything in order to love, respect, and accept each other. It is quite a contrast to the troubled friendship I have been discussing here. 

Be blessed friends, and know that empathy is the gas that makes forgiveness run. Extending compassion instead of bitterness and anger helps us to see the person as God does, and allows us to let the offense go. If it takes seventy times, then it takes seventy times. God understands how you feel and will be the most empathetic toward you and also the One who will help you forgive and let go of anything and anyone that is holding your heart hostage.