Of Love and Words

 "But, who is the church? You and I. Jesus doesn't need palaces. Only men need them. The church are those who follow Him. Following Him is something I do every day. We live surrounded by people who are hungry for love. That is what we need to give them." 

Mother Teresa, Her Essential Wisdom 

"Hungry for love". Yes, I believe people are hungry for love. Even those who act like they want no part of it. Especially those. They are starving. 

"Words have energy and power with the ability to help, to heal, to hinder, to hurt, to harm, to humiliate, and to humble."

 Yehuda Berg

Words have incredible power, indeed. 

I have a stack of books nearby, and I seem to carry them from room to room. I usually have a pink highlighter handy as well, because when I see a phrase or a quote that strikes me, I want to remember it. I relish in the written words of others. I soak them in, ponder them for days sometimes, years even. When people ask me what book has most impacted my life, I don't have a ready answer, because it's just words. Words impact my life. Words that evoke thoughts, that charge feelings, that spark change. That is what impacts my life. If it comes from a book, then I may keep that book handy. Words from a person, whether positive or negative, will also stick with me for a really long time, and I know the things I have said will also impact someone else. Has this kept me up a night or two? Yes, it has. I have regretted many things I have said in haste or carelessness, in anger, or flippancy. I can remember things I said 40 years ago that I wish I hadn't said! As your mother probably taught you, once the toothpaste is out of the tube...

Because I am a lover of words, it doesn't automatically mean I am a fan of stringing a lot of them together just to fill silence. Sometimes silence speaks volumes, and sometimes silence is necessary and good. The impact of silence can also cause hurt, misunderstandings, and regrets. Knowing when to speak and when to be silent is an art form. When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise. Proverbs 10:19 

"Unexpressed love is the greatest cause of our sorrow and regret." 

Leo Buscaglia, Loving Each Other

Think about unexpressed love for a moment. What does that evoke? While some may think of an unrequited love type of situation, I think of people who have passed away that I never got a chance to love a little more. I lost a friend during the pandemic, and I hadn't seen her for a few years. The last exchange I had with her was "I love you" over Messenger. She was afraid she had offended me somehow and wanted my forgiveness. I don't even know what it was about and we didn't discuss it. All we did was exchange "I love you" and that was it. I wish we had talked more and it makes me sad and regretful. The pandemic kept so many of us from reaching out and seeing each other in common places. I fear that so many people are telling this same story. Unexpressed love. The worst feeling. Someone dies and you didn't get the chance to tell them how much they mean to you. 

That stack of books I mentioned? Well, they all have something in common. The word "Love" is in the title. All of them were written with the sole purpose of broadening our understanding of relationships and how to better understand them. In fact, the back of one of them states, "It's up to us to give our relationships a chance. There is nothing greater in life than loving another and being loved in return, for loving is the ultimate of experiences." 

Hmmm...what a concept. "Loving is the ultimate of experiences." I wonder if I polled people, how many people would choose "love" as an ultimate experience? Most people would choose some international trip of a lifetime, or swimming with sharks, who knows? But "loving"? Hmmm. 

But as I sit here, as hungry for love as any other, I believe love is what I would choose. And before you assume I'm speaking of romantic or marital love, love can cover a multitude of relationships! Friendships and family relationships can and do leave us hungry for love and desperate for connections. Those relationships can suffer just as much or even more from a lack of communication or connection, leading to distance or misunderstandings. Saying goodbye to friends or family without them knowing how much you cared about them.  I presently don't know my neighbors, but it sure would be nice to say I know and love them and share with them. Living in the woods makes it difficult to socialize, particularly during a pandemic. We have new neighbors on both sides of us, so my ultimate goal is to wander over and say hello. I hope they are hungry for love. And brownies. 

Another one of my book titles...Love....What life is all about. A simple statement, but it is all about love if you think about it. Without love, we would not exist. We would not have been created. "Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us. 1 John 4:8-10. We were literally created by love! How could love not be the ultimate purpose in our existence? 

Love is the reason our hearts explode when toddlers holler out "hi" and smile and wave from shopping carts in the store. (my most favorite thing ever!!) Love is the reason we want to give clothes and food and help to those who need it. Love is the reason we are happy for others, or sad, or whatever emotion they are feeling. Love is why we can meet them where they are, and then lift them to where they need to be. Love isn't always easy, but it's always the most healing answer to any question, the glue to the most broken of bridges, and the balm to the most open of sores. It's the "I love you" with no explanation necessary in your Messenger inbox. 

Words can heal and they can harm, and we get to choose which ones we utter each day. We can take a minute and think about the impact of our words. We can carry them around and either highlight them in pink, or toss them in the trash, never to be heard. Our love and our words can be a powerful force to change the world, even if we start in just one corner at a time in our own little world.

The words of the mouth are deep waters, but the fountain of wisdom is a rushing stream. 

Proverbs 18:4