A Rich Woman

 My oldest daughter and I were discussing her desire to have a big barbecue at the house this summer, and my dread of entertaining due to the intense amount of work involved. I haven't always looked at parties in this way, but I'm at about flare week 4, and I'm exhausted. I don't remember the last time I left the house, and thinking about standing on my feet, preparing food for anyone, much less mixed company, is a daunting thought. 

Socially, I'm at a zero on a ten scale. I'm already spent before I can even start. I have nothing new to say, and when I'm in pain, I kind of just want to relax and be alone. So, yeah, no parties, please, and save your invites too. If I get a good day, I will most likely spend it trying to play "catch up". By the way, I absolutely hate that this is the way I describe my life. I love people. I miss having friends. I would love fellowship with new people. But just thinking about it is just beyond my physical and mental realm right now. 

Anyway, this led to us having a lively and teasing discussion about "it's my house too", to which I said, "well, do you pay the mortgage?" Her response probably bought her more than she bargained for when she said, "Well, do you?" 

Do I pay the mortgage? What an interesting question coming from an adult child, whose mother made a career out of raising her and taking care of the home. Did I feel a sudden, how-dare-you! coming on? Maybe, but then I looked at it as a supreme opportunity to educate her in the subject of value and worth, and not cold, hard cash.  

A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life. She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands. She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from afar. She gets up while it is still night; she provides food for her family and portions for her female servants. She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard. She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks. She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night. In her hand she holds the distaff and grasps the spindle with her fingers. She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy. When it snows she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet. She makes coverings for her bed; she is clothed in fine linen and purple. Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land. She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies the merchants with sashes. She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children arise and call her blessed; Her husband also, and he praises her: "Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all." Charm is deceptive, but beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Honor her for all that her hands have done, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate. 

Proverbs 31: 10-31

As near as I can figure, I have paid mortgages, car payments, taught two students from before preschool to beyond college, counseled children, preteens, teens, and adults, including one adult male. I have done countless loads of laundry, including late night vomit laundry, walked miles in grocery stores, and spent several hours in ERs, Urgent Cares, doctor's offices, waiting rooms, practices, freezing cold track meets, field trips, fifth grade camp weekends with moms who didn't like me, furnished so many meals I couldn't count them if I tried, housed other people's kids and loved them like my own, bussed them to school so they wouldn't have to ride the wheels of iniquity for an extra hour a day, worried and cried, and went without so they could have... and I think you may get the picture, and before you think I think I'm some kind of special martyr mom, I get it. ALL moms do these things! 

I may not be the perfect Proverbs 31 woman as described above, and I made plenty of mistakes along the way. But I know I brought value to my family, and as I used to say, "If I was dead, you'd have to pay someone else for all my services. I'm expensive!" And yes, women, homemakers, wives, and moms are worth their weight in gold. Technically, I'm a very rich woman. And I am grateful to God and to my husband for giving me the opportunity and the freedom to be that woman to my family. 

So no, my cash couldn't "pay" a mortgage. And I get it, young adults are all about how much money they can make in the world, as they are becoming aware of how much things cost. But some women of this generation are all about knowing our worth and value in a world that likes putting a price on success. We want to make sure that the women after us understand their worth outside of what the world defines. We want them to know their value and worth in their homes and families too. 

While I support my daughters' career aspirations, I also hope for them that if being a stay at home mom is what is laid on their hearts to do someday, that it can be made an economic priority for them. As we said in the beginning, we can share one fried egg and cut the hot dogs in half! And believe me, we had some "popcorn for dinner" days! Having lots of things and big toys and taking lots of vacations isn't what defines a "happy and successful" life. Being a loving family who has made a lot of memories together and can actually recall those memories is something very special. So many of our best memories were made in our own little fenced in backyard on Adams street or at the family cottage. 

I am grateful that my husband saw value in having me home with our babies, and also there when he had to take several business trips in the early years of his career. He knew it was more stressful for me, but it took the extra worry from him knowing I was taking care of his girls and our home. It just felt like that's the way things should be. Us taking care of each other, raising our kids together, and we saw the blessings come in every time we thought things were going to get rough. 

Be blessed and thank a Proverbs 31 woman today. And if you're the man behind that woman, thank you for taking good care of her, and respecting her for all she is and what she does.