Thoughts This Morning

 I haven't been very present here, and I know that my writing hasn't reached like I had hoped it would (with the exception of my brief, but impressive following in Singapore-thank you). I started writing a long time ago because my many thoughts needed a place to go. I know I can wear people out with my words sometimes. I wore my husband out just last night.  I sometimes have a lot to say. I spent years being too quiet, afraid to speak not my mind—but my heart. My mind can still get out of order sometimes, but my heart will always be a soft place, and when I write, the truth of me comes out. When someone allows me time to speak and they genuinely listen, I give my heart, and I discover things I didn't know. When I find someone who mindfully speaks, I want to be a good listener and contributor as well. Ephesians 4:29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. 

Even as I sat down to write today, I had a whole list of other topics I thought I was going to touch on, and maybe I will eventually get to those! But today's stream-of-consciousness is kind of who I've been in my head lately, and I will invite you in as usual. As I continue to enter the Autumn phase of my life, sleep is something that has been escaping me, but guess what doesn't? My brain. I awaken full of jabberings, song lyrics, quotes, and verses, and I go all "absent-minded professor." It goes along with my morning hair and scatterings of half-used notebooks throughout the house! It's not really my "normal" personality, but then I could argue, neither have the last few years!  

Yesterday I used the voice recorder on my phone to record some notes about things I may want to write about. I could hear myself getting Angel a treat, making my coffee, and doing my normal morning things. I laughed as I said, "Oh shoot, I forgot to feed the birds." As I looked up at the sky that morning, I saw two planes flying in opposite directions, leaving their contrails behind. I laughed and said into my voice recorder, "You can either believe in conspiracy theories or you can put your belief in the Lord and His Truth." The only "conspiracy theory" in which I may believe is that my refrigerator light might still be on when I close the door. Just kidding...yeah, we all should know by now where I stand on such "theories." 

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6 

"You can sit around and think about everybody who you think has done you wrong, and all the revenge you're going to take, or you can use that energy to forgive them all, find a new hobby and enjoy your life, and bless the ones who curse you." It sounds kind of simple, right? As I heard myself pouring the water into the coffee maker, this is exactly what I said. It's not that original. God tells us not to take revenge. Deuteronomy 32:35 It is mine to avenge; I will repay. In due time their foot will slip; their day of disaster is near and their doom rushes upon them." Friends, I am not touching any type of payback with anyone with a ten-foot pole! God is on it for us, don't worry. I may not have anything to do with someone who did me wrong, but I will not be toilet-papering their house anytime soon. That's just not how I roll. (if you don't get that pun, I cannot help you) 

But what about that forgiveness part, right? This is not going to be a long post about forgiveness. Been there, done that. Today's simple message is this: If God can forgive me, who am I to withhold forgiveness? Do they deserve it? I don't know, did I? No. But will it bring peace to me if I let this horrible aching bond of anger, bitterness, and never-ending plague of ick-collection go? In a word, yep. But what about?—nope. But they!—nope. Love keeps no record.(1 Corinthians 13:1) And if we keep no record, we instead choose love for God, ourselves, and others, and we can be in PEACE. All I know is that when I am at peace and not angry and bitter, others want to be in my presence. In the words of my mentor and friend Norm Sawyer, the forgiveness statement is simply, "I forgive you. Completely." Say it over and over until it seeps like the warmest healing liquid into your heart. Part of blessing your enemies is forgiving them. You will receive the blessing of a clean and peaceful heart. Romans 12:14 Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them. 

"You can be sunshine or you can be a cloud. You can be a beacon of light in the darkness, or you can be the darkness. What you post on social media can be light or it can be dark. Which one do you want to be known for? Which one would God have you be? This was recording number 5. It is really easy to hit "Post" or "Send" in the heat of the moment. I've done it, sadly. I've said some really careless words in the past, and I've been convicted of that, and I pray that God keeps me in line now. I don't want my words or my actions to offend or bother people, but to build up and encourage the people around me.  You can't take certain things back after they are done and said. The impression it leaves on others is sometimes all they have left of you. They often won't come back to see if you are changed. I don't want to blow my chance of showing the light in me. I don't want my bad day or my emotional state to cause me to react or respond in a way that affects anyone else negatively. 2020 taught me so many things, but what I choose to take from it is that I will go on in this world as a person who nurtures and protects people more than projects, politics, and positions. I will always choose love and compassion over the need to be RIGHT. I will choose peace, and I will choose righteousness. Not my own, but God's. (Thank you, Norm Sawyer)  Matthew 5:14-16 You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven. 

Now more than ever, we need to be a light in this world. There is enough darkness and negativity in the world! We know there are evil, horrifying things and people "out there!" I don't know about any of you, but when you are standing in a dark room, waiting for your eyes to adjust, what do you finally set your eyes on to see your way around the room? The light, however small it may appear! You aren't looking in the dark for the dark to lead you. I don't look to negative people spreading more negative propaganda or more garbage to help me feel better about the sad state of things. I am looking for the ones who are spreading the truth of the One I follow for PEACE. Who is going to get me out of this mess? Who is going to help me find my way out of this dark world? Who is going to help me when I feel like everything is crumbling and scary? Not that negative nelly. It's God, the Savior, the Light.  John 16:33 "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."  God is the solution. Not the politician, not the law you want passed, not whatever it is that is stealing your peace. He has overcome all of it for our sakes. I am keeping my eyes on God and I won't be distracted by all the things being waved in my face to try to shade my light or His. Know Who God is for yourself and it will be a weapon against those who try to darken your light. Psalm 100:3 Know that the Lord is God; It is he who made us, and we are his; we are his people; the sheep of his pasture. We are His people, and people will seek us out in times of trouble. If we are so busy with our stances and fights, when will we have time for the people who need our tenderness? 

I find my last recording quite humorous. "If people don't wanna hear your advice, stop talkin'." I believe the equivalent to this is the famous author, Norm Sawyer's advice to me as a mother, "Zip it." Yes, unsolicited advice is generally not cool. I think back to all of the unwanted comments and advice I've given and probably still inadvertently give, and I cringe!! Yikes. You know, silence is the best advice sometimes. No one can blame you if it goes wrong. Words have gotten me into trouble, as they often will. Proverbs 10:19 Sin is not ended by multiplying words, but the prudent hold their tongues. In short, I know I need to zip it. Stop talkin.' Shush my face. Let people come and ask if they need my help, opinion or my advice. Those egos just need to say everything they think, don't they? Sure, we may have wisdom and insight on some things, and I can see around corners others may not, but it's our pride and arrogance that gets us into trouble when even well-meaning words are spoken at the wrong time or to the wrong person. I need to bite the tongue and lead with grace or it's gonna get messy. With God holding my impatient tongue and extending His grace, life can be so much more rewarding, and my life can be full of love. When it's time to share the wisdom I've been given, it will be received in love, because I waited for the right time, and not when I thought it was time or felt good to me. We humans get ourselves in so much trouble with our big mouths. Proverbs 16:24 Gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul, and health to the bones. Can you imagine our words being health to someone's bones? They really are, because when our words are tender, people will come to us when they are hurting and know they will leave refreshed and comforted. 

Be blessed today, and may your own words to yourself be healing and light. Listen to your heart. It's where God speaks.